Like I'm Gonna Lose You
by OhWhatPun
Summary: It's Beca's senior year at Barden and things seem to be going really well. She's landed an internship at Residual Heat and her relationship with Chloe is growing. But, can she prove her love for Chloe is real before it's too late and she loses her forever?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everyone! Here is my next Bechloe fanfic :) This is a collaboration I am working on with sugarlandaddict23. This will be a multi-chapter fic based off of the song "Like I'm Gonna Lose You" by Meaghan Trainor ft. John Legend. It's going to be in canon with PP2 in regards to the time line. Please leave reviews and follow! The whole story is planned out already and we're obsessed with it, so we hope you feel the same!**

 **Rated T: strong and suggestive language**

 ***I do not own Pitch Perfect-All rights go to those that do!***

* * *

Chloe falls to my side panting hard as she pulls the sheet up and over her chest. I turn to look at her. Her eyes are squeezed shut and she's placed her hand over the creases on her forehead. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly. I study her intently as she continues to come down from her high. She's so beautiful I can't even stand it. Even when she appears absolutely tortured with pleasure. I can't help but smile proudly because I did that. I made her feel that way.

She pushes out a long sigh. "Holy shit, Beca. That was amazing," she breathes. She opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling.

"I told you, Beale, I am the master," I say, feeling confident and gratified.

"I'm not even gonna argue," she responds, turning her head slightly to look at me. I can feel my chest constrict and I start going light headed from lack of oxygen. Those gorgeous blue eyes get me every time.

Leaning in, I kiss her softly on her swollen red lips. "You are so insanely beautiful," I whisper, pushing a stray auburn lock away from her face. "How did I ever get so lucky?"

She smiles back at me and my heart skips a few beats, then takes off racing. "I think I'm the lucky one," she says. "The way you perform in bed…" she trails off, sending a wink in my direction.

"Always with your mind in the gutter, Beale. Here I am trying to be all cute and shit..."

She rolls her eyes and we both laugh. She wraps her arm around my waist pulling me closer to her, and I bury my face into her hair. It smells like coconuts and hibiscus. Whatever that even smells like. I just know that's the scent of her shampoo and there's this subtle hint of something extra and fresh that I just assume is what a hibiscus smells like. I take in two long, exaggerated lungful's, and let them out harshly. Chloe giggles softly in my ear.

"You're so weird," she says, pushing me away.

"Says the girl that likes to stick her finger in my belly button," I retort, rolling onto my back and giving her a look of clear judgement.

"I can't help it, it's just so fun!" She squeals, reaching over and plunging her finger directly into my belly button, causing me to yelp.

"Gahh, Chloe! I told you it feels so weird!" I yell, frantically trying to remove her wiggling finger from poking my insides, but God, she's so damn strong!

She pulls away and her hands move to my sides as she begins to tickle me, knowing my abdomen and feet are my most sensitive areas.

"Stop! Chloe! Stop!" I'm crying, barely able to breathe now, and she's laughing maniacally as she flips herself over and straddles my hips. When I'm able to, I grab her wrists and try to steady them. Only then does she stop, slowing her movements as she ghosts her fingers across my lower abdomen.

Her smile softens, but it's still there. And, even though I'm mad at her for attacking me like that, I can't help but fall in love with her even more as she stares down at me with those desire-filled eyes, her fiery red hair falling eccentrically around her face. She shakes her hands free from my death grip I didn't realize I was still holding, and reaches up wiping at the streaks of tears under my eyes.

"I love you," she whispers, and I smile softly back at her as another tear falls from my eyes. This time, it's one of happiness. I reach up, wrapping my hands around the back of her neck and pulling her down into a heated kiss.

Pulling away for air, I say, "I love you so much, Chloe. Please don't ever leave me."

She leans in and pecks my lips over and over again. "I'm never going anywhere, Beca Mitchell. You're my whole world; my everything. I need you forever and ever—"

"—Aaaa-men!" I interject, instantly regretting it after realizing I just ruined the moment, something I'm apparently really good at. But, she just laughs at me and leans in kissing my lips again softly.

"In all seriousness, Chlo, I don't think I could love anyone or anything more than I love you." I reach up and hold her face with both hands trying to drive the point across as a brush my thumbs over her cheeks. "I love you more than life itself. I would be so lost in this world without you."

"I know," she mutters, barely audible. "Because I would be, too, Beca."

She kisses me quickly, then falls back down beside me and rests her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms over my stomach. Within what feels like seconds, her breathing evens out and shallows, and her head feels heavier, suggesting she's fallen asleep. I lean down to kiss the top of her head and run my fingers through her hair. I settle back into the pillow and allow my mind to wander.

* * *

It's now my senior year at Barden and Chloe and I have been dating since last spring. She's intentionally failed Russian Lit three times to stay a Bella. At least that's what she tells everyone, but I'm now convinced it was solely to try and get in my pants. I actually had no idea the redhead had the hots for me until she drunkenly attacked me coming home from a party last year.

I remember it so vividly. All the girls were walking back to the Bella house after a night out and Chloe was all over me, like usual. No one ever thought anything of it because that's just how the redhead had always been. She hasn't the slightest idea of what personal boundaries are, and after being with her basically every day and sharing a room for the past three years, I learned to just go with it.

So, we're headed back to the house and she had her arm linked through mine, with her shoes in her other hand, stumbling around like—well, like a drunk. I had my hands in my pockets and was dragging her along when she abruptly stopped in the middle of the road tugging at my arm, causing my hand to yank out of my pocket as I kept walking. It actually kind of hurt, so I started rubbing the top of my hand wondering if it was going to bruise (it did).

"What the hell are you doing, Chloe?" I asked her. She was just standing there staring at me with this crazed look on her face. Her hair was all disheveled from jumping around on the dance floor all night, only adding to the madness. I walked backwards putting a good six feet between us because she looked like she was about to pounce on me. Chloe's done many things over the years that made me question her sanity, but tackling me had yet to be added to the list.

"Chloe? Seriously, what's wrong with you? That fuckin' hurt, dude" I said still rubbing the back of my hand. Maybe I was milking it a little.

All of a sudden she sprung forward giving me no time to react. She slammed into me like a Mack truck and completely swept my feet out from under me, knocking me to the ground and falling on top of me. The rest of the Bella's were standing around laughing at us, but I honestly couldn't see anything but her in that moment.

Her face was so close to mine. I couldn't slow my heart down. I knew she felt it, and I remember wondering what she was thinking about doing when she tackled me, because I could feel her heart racing against my own, too. I'm not sure what compelled me to do what I did next. Maybe it was the way her eyes softened and her pupils dilated, darting between my lips and eyes, or maybe it was the way she bit her lip as all of this was happening. And maybe I was just drunk, but it happened.

Without hesitating, I leaned in and kissed her. What the hell was I doing? I had no idea, and I wasn't sure I really cared, but as our lips connected, my mind turned to thoughts of what this meant for our friendship. I probably just threw it all out the window. But, not just any window. One from the 102nd floor of the Empire State Building.

I was so caught up in the thoughts of throwing myself off of said building that I didn't realize how long we had been kissing, and that she was now kissing me back. I was tugged from those thoughts when her soft tongue gently brushed across my bottom lip. I granted her access and deepened the kiss, entangling my hands through her hair.

I remember hearing gasps coming from around us, and Stacie telling us to get a room, but I don't know how long we stayed on the front lawn of that sorority, because by the time we came up for air, all the girls were gone and it was just us.

"What just happened?" I asked her.

"Well, silly head, that was a kiss," she said, poking my nose.

I just raised my eyebrow and gave her my signature smirk. "I'm aware what is _was_ ," I said. "I'm just not sure what it _means_." I pushed her hair away from her face, revealing her crystal blue eyes.

"Well, it doesn't change anything in a bad way, if that's what you're asking." She smiled timidly down at me.

I started to sit up and she not-so-gracefully pulled herself off of me. She helped me to my feet, almost falling back down at least three times in the process. We giggled at how much of a mess we both were. I brushed broken leaves and dirt off of my back side and looked back to her staring at me expectedly.

"Should we talk about this?" I asked.

"What's there to talk about, Becs? I like you and it's obvious you like me, too." She answered as we started walking back towards the house.

With this response I felt it was safe, so I reached out and grabbed her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. We had held hands before, but never like this, and my heart smiled at how well they fit together.

"So… is this like a thing now? Me and you?" I asked slowly, motioning my free hand between us.

Chuckling, she replied, "Beca, I think we've always been a thing. I think we're the only ones that weren't aware. We're both just cognizant of it now."

"Yikes, that's a big word for drunk Beale. I don't want you to hurt that pretty little brain of yours," I joked, knocking on the side of her head.

"Shut up," she said, pushing me with her free hand, but never breaking contact with mine. "As if it's my brain you're after," she winked at me.

"Hey, I'm not that shallow!" I exclaim, slightly offended.

She smiled brightly at me and said "I know, Becs." Then she got serious, "But, if you need confirmation, I'm gonna say we're together now. I mean, if that's what you want?"

I bit my lip trying not to show how excited I was to finally know the feelings I had pulsing through my veins for the past three years were mutual.

"I've never wanted anything more." I said, stopping us dead in our tracks in front of the Bella house and pulling her in for another kiss. It was heated and passionate, and a little easier now that she wasn't crushing my rib cage.

She pulled back and looked down at a hypothetical watch on her wrist. I looked at her in confusion.

"It's definitely after midnight now meaning it's officially April 12th, 2014." She smiled.

"I don't understand," I said.

"I just want to remember this day for the rest of my life," she said. "The day I made badass Beca Mitchell my girlfriend."

I just laughed at her girly antics, grabbed her hand and dragged her inside.

That was the first night we made love. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more.

* * *

I look down now at the tufts of red hair sprawled across my chest and the outline of her soft facial features as she's peacefully sleeping. I smile and kiss her forehead. I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

* * *

 **A/N: Let me know what you think so far! The next chapter should be up soon.**

 **Stay weird :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again! Here is Chapter 2! I introduce the friendship between Beca and Jesse here. It's in canon with the movie time line but I worked certain things around to make sense for the story.**

 **The song at the end is "You and I" by Ingrid Michaelson. Check it out if you haven't heard it!**

 **Leave your reviews for us and let us know what you think! Thank you to everyone that's followed and reviewed so far! We're so grateful for all of you! :)**

 ***I still do not own Pitch Perfect, so all rights go to those that do!***

* * *

It's 2:30 in the afternoon and I've started my walk across campus to the radio station for my 3-11 'power shift,' as I like call it. I'll be working with Jesse so I guess it won't be too bad. Jesse and I have been friends since freshman year when he sang "Carry on My Wayward Son" to me from the backseat of his parent's car. Looking back at it, I can't help but laugh. He was so weird. Still is. And even though I've made it _very_ clear to him that I'm not interested, he's still convinced that someday we will have aca-children together. 'It's inevitable.'

As I walk inside the musky station, I can hear the end of the song "Sunshine" by the Teddy Bears playing over the speakers. Jesse's voice comes on announcing that the next 2 hours will be commercial free. I walk into the booth once he's set another song to play. I laugh and turn up the volume on the knob next to the door on my way in when I realize he put on "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds.

"Hey Jess," I say, placing my bag on the ground and taking out my laptop.

"Be-caw! What's good?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm not dealing with this all night, so stop it now." I point my finger at him mockingly.

"Oh come on, you just got here. Lighten up, or else I _will_ make your night a living hell," he says, laughing playfully when I punch him in the arm.

"Whatever. I'm just not looking forward to being stuck in here all night. Buuuuut, I guess I'd rather it be with you than the new girl. Ugh, she's so dull," I scoff, crinkling up my nose.

Jesse smiles. "Caitlin? You met her like once, Becs. You're the one that interviewed her."

"Yeah," I reply. "And I thought she was monotonous and agonizingly boring. She sounds like a squirrel when she talks. I don't like it."

"You're the one that gave her the job—" he started.

"Yeah, because _you_ thought she was hot and begged me to give it to her!" I interjected, jabbing my finger into his sternum, getting annoyed now.

"Alright. Chill out, dude," he says. "Let's just forget about it. No need to rip my head off. I'm gonna go stack some CD's, or something." He sounds irritated with me.

Jesse walks out of the booth and shuts the door behind him, the metal blinds clashing against the window as it closes. I wince at the sound that pierces through me like nails on a chalk board. He didn't have to close it so hard. God, he can act like such a child sometimes.

I brush it off and start fiddling around with the controls and switching songs to different mixes I've made over the past couple of months. Once I've set up a good playlist, I turn to my laptop to work on the set list for the Bella's.

The night is cruising along and I've been in the booth by myself for most of it. Jesse's in a mood, and he's kept to himself this whole time, which I don't mind really. I prefer to be alone, but knowing he's at least in the same building somewhere makes me feel more at ease. I don't not like having people around, I just hate having real conversations, so what Jesse and I have going on just kind of works. Besides, I've made a dent in trying to find songs to go in the new set list.

Seven-fifteen rolls around and I can feel my stomach start to growl. I pull out my phone to text Jesse and see what he's up to, just as there's a light knock on the door. I look up from my phone as he emerges holding two coffees and a bag that smells like what dreams are made of.

"Hey, still mad? I brought truce food," he says with playful eyes giving two shakes to the bags in each hand.

I pull the seat out next to me and motion for him to come sit.

"I'm not even mad, Jess. You're just a big baby," I smile.

He gives me a once over and squints his eyes at me. He looks like he's about to come back with some witty remark, but he doesn't.

"I got you your favorite from Chipotle," he says, swinging the paper bag in front of my face.

"Burrito bowl with steak and extra guac?" I ask, reaching out for the bag.

"Mhmm," he hums and hands it to me. I don't think I've ever ripped a bag open so fast.

"Thank you so much, Jesse. I'm starving. I was just about to text you and see what you wanted to do for food."

"I must be a mind reader," he says. "Or…" He pauses. "We're soul mates and share the same thoughts!" His face lights up like a kid on Christmas.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Or," I start, sitting up straighter. "We're actually twins with ESP and you're being an incestuous creep right now."

His face twists in an insanely amusing way looking seriously disturbed by my comment and I feel accomplished.

"Okay, you win," he whispers in defeat, sinking back into his chair as he takes his food from the bag and we both dig in.

We're sitting quietly stuffing our faces for a few minutes when my phone starts to vibrate. I shove a spoonful of rice into my mouth and dig the device from my pocket. My eyes narrow at the caller ID that's coming across the screen now. "Residual Heat Recording Studio" is what is says. It's after 7 o'clock at night, why would they be calling me right now?

I had applied to a few different record labels for internships at the end of the summer, but I hadn't told anyone. Partially because I didn't think I would even get a call back. My only rational thought is that they're giving courtesy calls to say thank you for applying but they weren't taking anyone right now, or to just straight up say 'no.'

"Are you gonna answer that, or…?" Jesse asks, obviously noting my bemused expression.

"Um, yeah. I'm—um. I'm just gonna take this outside." I trip over my words as I also trip over my chair, pushing it back and jetting out of the booth.

"This is Beca Mitchell," I answer the phone in a sing-song tone after I've shut the door behind me. I'm a little taken aback at how professional I actually sound.

"Hi, Beca Mitchell. Just the person I'm looking for. This is Jodie Smith from Residual Heat Recording Studios. How are you this evening?" The voice on the other end is raspy, yet feminine and confident.

"Oh, hi, I'm doing great. How are you?" I respond, still in a state of shock. My hands are shaking along with my voice.

"I'm wonderful. Thank you for asking." There's a slight pause and I'm not sure if I should say something or wait. I can hear what sounds like papers rustling in the background, and she begins talking again. "We have some openings for internships here and we'd like to extend the offer to you."

I have to stifle the scream that squeaks up out of my throat with my arm. I quickly recover. "That's great news." I say, thinking this can't be real life.

"Can you start Monday?" she asks.

"Yeah, I can start Monday. I would be stoked to start on Monday." Oh my God, what am I saying?! I need to explain myself. "Sorry, I don't say 'stoked.' I don't say stuff like that. I'm cool. You're gonna like me." I bite my lip hard. "That was bad, too…" What is happening to me?!

There's another uncomfortable pause. "Great. It's business casual attire, so don't come in sweat pants, obviously. All new interns need to arrive at 12:30 for orientation. Can you make that work?" I'm slightly relieved she didn't acknowledge the fact that I just sounded like a complete idiot.

I try to see my class schedule in my head. We just went back 2 weeks ago, so I'm still trying to figure it out.

"Yes, I can," I say when I remember I only have one class at 8am on Monday's.

"Perfect. We look forward to meeting you Ms. Mitchell."

"Great! I will see you Monday. Beca Out!" I mouth 'Oh my God' as I slap my hand to my forehead because I'm at a complete loss for other words right now.

"What the hell was that all about?" a voice asks from behind me.

I spin around and turn beet red, embarrassed at the fact that someone else lay witness to that conversation, let alone Jesse who will never let me live this down.

"You heard that, huh?" I whisper, staring blankly down at my phone in my hand.

"Uh, yeah. I kinda wish I hadn't," he jokes, stepping out of the booth and walking towards me. "So…?" he questions, motioning his hand at my phone. "Who was that?"

"It was, uh, I got offered an internship…" I trail off, not sure if I really want him to know.

"What?! Becs, that's so awesome! Where at?"

"Um, Residual Heat Recording Studios?"

"You sound unsure," he laughs, and I let out a nervous laugh, too.

"No, yeah, I mean… yes it's Residual Heat."

My mind wanders to Chloe now. I can't tell her about this, can I? I mean she's so wrapped up in the World's competition this summer, I don't think she's even bought her books for the semester, yet. She's been so neurotic about the whole "vagina-gate" disaster last month and the fact that the Bella's were taken off of our Victory Tour and are unable to take new recruits, minus Legacy. You'd think it was the actual end of the world.

"Hello? Earth. To. Beca." Jesse says slowly punching each word out as he waves his hand in front of my face.

"What?" I ask, coming back from my thoughts, not even noticing he was still standing there.

"Did you even hear what I just said?" He asks.

"No." I answer, with an attitude that says he should know this already.

"I said, 'this is great news, Beca. Would you like to celebrate after we get out tonight?'"

"Oh. Um, yeah. That sounds great actually."

"Awesome, do you wanna invite Chloe?" he asks.

"Um. Nah. I think we'll just keep this between us for now. Chloe's just so wrapped up in all the World's stuff at the moment. I don't want her to think my mind is on anything else but the Bella's right now." He's peering at me hard. "I'll tell her. Just not yet." I add.

* * *

I'm sitting at my desk with my headphones on trying to come up with something 'original' to present to my manager. Today at my internship I was basically told I have nothing to say. That's music industry speak for 'I suck.' But, he's giving me a second chance to prove to him that I have what it takes to set me apart from the rest of the interns, so I can't waste this opportunity.

As I'm screwing around with the keyboard on my laptop, Chloe walks into the room and plops herself down onto her bed.

"Hey babe," she sighs. She sounds bored.

"Hey Chlo," I respond not even bothering to look up from my screen.

I can see her pull herself up into a seated position out of the corner of my eye and she crosses her legs Indian style. I can feel her staring at me so I look over at her. Her eyes are lit up like the sky on the Fourth of July and her smile is bigger than the moon. I can't help but be amused by this.

"What's up, babe?" I ask because she looks like she's up to something.

"Nothing," she says, getting up now and walking over towards me. She seriously can't sit still for more than a second at a time. "I was just thinking about some stuff that has to do with our set list. What have you been up to all day? I have some ideas I wanted to run by you, but I couldn't get a hold of you." She's standing behind me and rubbing my shoulders now.

"Oh, I um, I picked up a shift at the station. Caitlin wasn't feeling well today so I said I'd work for her." I answer, hoping she didn't notice my shoulders tense up beneath her hands.

"Hmm," she hums into my ear as she leans down to kiss the bare patch of skin at the area where my neck and shoulders meet. I shudder at the sudden contact. We haven't spent a lot of time together since I've been so busy lately and this was something I didn't realize I needed, so I close my eyes and tilt my head to the side, allowing her to continue.

Chloe slowly trails kisses up my neck. Reaching my ear, she uses her tongue to trace its outline. I let out a soft whimper and bite my lip. Then she pulls away and I suddenly feel cold and abandoned at the loss of contact. I whip myself around in my chair to find her sitting back on her bed, and, again, she's looking at me with those eyes.

"You are such a tease," I say, now standing up and walking towards her. "I'm sorry I've been so MIA lately. I miss you, Chloe." I reach out my hand and softly trace my fingers down her jaw line stopping under her chin. I lift her face up towards mine and lean in kissing her lips delicately, making sure to cherish this moment. When we part, she looks up at me and smiles a smile that melts my soul.

"I've missed you too, Becs."

She pats the bed beside her and I sit down. She turns her body so that she's facing me now. She laces our fingers together and plays with the ring on my pointer finger, twisting it around.

"I wanted to talk to you about our set list. So Stacie and some of the other girls and I got together earlier and we were thinking—" she starts, but I interject.

"You got the girls together to talk about the set list without me?" I ask, with an obvious tone of disapproval.

"Well, Beca I tried calling you. I told you before, I couldn't get a hold of you…" she says, dropping my hands into my lap.

"Okay, but Chloe, these kinds of meetings are a big deal. I would like to be a part of them." I say sharply, wringing my hands together trying to calm my nerves. I'm not really sure why I'm getting so upset with her.

"I know. But, we were already together so I just figured I could run by you what we talked about when I saw you. It's rare to get all the girls together at the same time with everyone's schedules unless we're at practice and we're not practicing again until Friday which is 3 days from now." Her voice is raising with every word.

"Okay, so what did you need to run by me then?" I ask, lowering my tone to try and ease the tension in the room back down to a level that's just below that of a volcano that's ready to blow. I think she notices this change in my demeanor and she pauses for a second, as if she's trying to assess my mood and whether or not she should proceed.

"Well…" she begins a little hesitantly. "We're thinking we want to change the set list… like, completely…" She looks up to me with sheepish eyes, her head cast down towards the bed.

I stare at her blankly. "Chloe, are you serious?" I hiss, standing abruptly from the bed. I begin to pace back and forth in front of her.

"Yes, Beca. I just don't think the songs we have together right now are working. It's just not a good fit, and all of the other girls agree. So I wanted to see if we could try and come up with something else. Just start over fresh. A clean slate." She waves her hands in front of her as if she's tracing a rainbow.

"Jesus Christ, Chloe. When am I supposed to do this?" She's really struck a nerve now. When _am_ I supposed to do this? Between everything else I'm trying to do at my internship, I'm not sure if I even have the brain capacity to take on coming up with a whole new set list right now.

"Oh, come on. Don't be such a Debbie Downer," she says, reaching out and grabbing my hands, trying to still my movements. "We've got plenty of time before the World's this summer. No need to rush it. You've never let me down, baby. I trust you completely." She lifts my hands to her lips and kisses the back of each of them.

My heart just about sinks into the absolute pit of my stomach. As if I didn't feel guilty enough about keeping my internship from her, she has to go and say something like that.

"Oh!" She exclaims as she drops my hands and jumps up from the bed. "I have something for you." I take my seat back on the edge of her bed and watch as she runs over to her closet and pulls out a small guitar-like instrument. Sitting back down next to me, grinning like a fool, she starts tweaking the strings.

"Um, I didn't know you played the ukulele?" I question, looking at her in amazement as she strums out random chords. She looks back up at me with her bright eyes and tosses one of her signature winks at me.

"I wrote you a song," she says smiling even bigger, and she starts strumming. I didn't think that smile could get any brighter, but I was wrong. Her voice begins to fill the room and my heart grows about three sizes.

" _Don't you worry there, my honey,_

 _We might not have any money,_

 _But we've got our love to pay the bills._

 _Maybe I think you're cute and funny,_

 _Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you,_

 _If you know what I mean._

 _Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France,_

 _Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance,_

 _Let's get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants,_

 _From way up there, you and I, you and I._

 _Well you might be a bit confused,_

 _And you might be a little bit bruised,_

 _But baby, how we spoon like no one else._

 _So you can help me read those books,_

 _And I will soothe your worried looks,_

 _And we will put the lonesome on the shelf._

 _Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France,_

 _Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance,_

 _Let's get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants,_

 _From way up there, you and I, you and I."_

As she finishes strumming out the last few chords, I can feel happy tears start to fill my eyes. That's such a Chloe song to sing and I can't help but let out a small laugh as I wipe away the tear that's managed to escape. I lean forward pulling her into a long overdue embrace.

"I love you so much, Chloe Beale," I whisper into her ear. Just then, I hear the ding of an email coming in on my laptop. I've been waiting to hear back from my manager regarding some edits I had been working on for Snoop Dogg's Christmas album. I drop my forehead to her shoulder in defeat. "I should get that," I sigh. I feel a sense of shame as her grip around my waist loosens.

"Okay," she whispers and forces a closed lip smile.

I reluctantly get up and go over to check my email quickly. I open the email and read it thoroughly, then hit the reply button. As I'm about to start typing, the XL Baja Blast from Taco Bell I had earlier hits my bladder like a freight train. I get up quickly and start towards the door.

"I have to pee!" I squeal, making a pit stop at Chloe's bed and leaning over kissing her quickly. "By the way, I am taking you out to a nice dinner this weekend because you are amazing and you deserve the whole world. So go buy a new pretty dress and some earrings and prepare to have your universe rocked!" I kiss her quickly four times in a row. "Okay, I'll be right back, and then we are cuddling so hard!" I shoot my fist in the air like Judd Nelson does at the end of "The Breakfast Club," and this gets a laugh out of Chloe.

I run down the hall to the bathroom and do my duties. All the while, I have this stupid smile on my face as I'm thinking about all the events of the day. It started off kind of shitty with the internship incident and then the little spat between Chloe and I. But, it looks like it's ending on a good note, and I'm pretty happy about that. All I want to do is go back to our room and hold onto my amazing girlfriend, who I am _so_ not worthy of. She wrote me a damn song. One I don't entirely understand all the lyrics to, but a whole song, nonetheless.

When I get back to the room, Chloe is sitting at my desk with my headphones on. I walk over to her smiling and slowly begin to rub her shoulders as she did for me earlier. I look at the computer screen to see her scrolling through some random playlists I made. Then, I see the email from my boss minimized at the bottom and my heart drops. Shit. I can't remember if I left the email up or not when I ran to the bathroom. My mind is racing a mile a minute.

Chloe turns her head and smiles coyly up at me. She pulls the headphones from her ears, draping them around her neck.

"So, do I get to know where you're taking me on this date?" she asks. I feel a slight sense of relief. Maybe she didn't see it. I spin her around in the chair, take the headphones from her neck, and place them onto the desk. I grab her hands and pull her up leading her over to my bed.

"You'll just have to wait and see," I answer as I sit her down, then proceed to crawl into the bed behind her and pull the blankets over us. I wrap my arm around her waist. I can't see her face, and even though I'm holding onto her, she feels so far away. I can't help but wonder what she saw on that computer screen.

* * *

 **A/N: Dun dun duuuunnnnnnn ;) Until next time my friends!**

 **Stay weird!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took a little longer to get posted! I had a big research paper and proposal outline due for my senior Capstone thesis... trust me, I so would have preferred to sit down and write this instead!  
**

 **Shout out to all of the awesome followers and readers! And to those who take the time to give reviews. It's much appreciated.**

 **So there are a few songs in this chapter and I highly recommend listening to them to get a feel for where we're going with the story.**

 **-"Red Lights" Tiesto cover by Taryn Southern**

 **-"Baby Blue Eyes" by A Rocket to the Moon**

 **-"Believe" Cher cover by Hannah Trigwell**

 **-"Joey" by Sugarland**

 **Again, I thank my trusty side kick sugarlandaddict23 for all her help with edits and ideas!**

 **This chapter is a little longer than the others and we were thinking of splitting it into two, but I feel like it all just flows together so well and I didn't want to torture you all any more than I already have hehe**

 **I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to leave your reviews when you're done!**

* * *

"Beca, hurry up. We're gonna be late!" Chloe yells from down the hall.

"I know, I know! I'm coming!" I respond as I grab my laptop bag and sweater on my way out of our bedroom.

I've never been one to be on time…like ever. It's not entirely my fault, though. My mom said I came into this world 10 days late, so I was literally born this way. Chloe, on the other hand, is always on time. Another reason why we simply balance each other out.

"Hi. You ready?" she asks, and I lean in, quickly kissing her on the lips.

"Yup," I respond, placing my hand on my bag.

"Okay, good. The rest of the girls already left so we'll just meet them there," she says. So, I playfully swat her on the ass.

"Well then what are we waiting for, Beale? Move it!" I declare, pushing her towards the door.

It's 8:45 on Friday morning, and the only thing I can think about is when this day will be over so I can crawl back into the comfort of my bed. The Bellas are practicing from 9-12 today, which is where we're heading now. I'm not entirely sure what we'll be doing for those three hours considering I haven't even had the chance to redo the set list since the girls sabotaged me earlier this week wanting to change it. But, Chloe insists that this practice is mandatory and all Bellas must be present or they 'turn in their scarves.' This whole World's ordeal is slowly turning her into a mini Aubrey, and I'm not sure how much more of that I can handle.

After practice, I have to run to the studio until 5:30, then Chloe and I are going on our date. I was able to get reservations at the Canoe Restaurant right on the Chattahoochee River. Chloe's talked about wanting to go there on more than one occasion, and even pointed it out to me when we drove by it on our way to the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center for a show last year. She doesn't know this is where we're going, so I'm hoping she'll be surprised.

We walk into the theatre where all of the girls are sitting around the white board. I place my laptop bag on top of the piano as Chloe flips the white board around revealing the words "Das Sound Machine" in blue dry erase marker. I smile at the intense look on her face, knowing what's coming next, as she took the time to fill me in on our walk over.

"Alright ladies, focus up!" Chloe shouts getting their attention. "We need to beat those German dunkoffs!"

I walk to her side while Fat Amy and the other girls nod and chime in with agreements.

"Okay. We're gonna beat DSM at their own game," I say. "Do what they do, just better."

"And we're about to do a full skills assessment to blow out our choreography to match," Chloe says, as her eyes light up. She's enjoying this too much.

"But," Legacy cuts in. "The important thing is we have fun, right?" She's smiling nervously and I kind of feel bad because everyone's staring at her like she just said the dumbest thing ever.

"Uhh, Legacy, don't take this the wrong way, but you're the dumbest person alive," Fat Amy chimes in.

Case and point. The expression on Emily's face is priceless and it takes everything in me not to laugh. Poor kid.

I head over to the piano, take my lap top and headphones out, and begin to mix some songs together. Occasionally, I look up to see the girls working on some rather interesting choreography. At one point, Chloe dragged me into attempting some sort of pyramid thing where I had to stand on Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose's legs. It was weird and uncomfortable and I hated it.

There were other times I'd look up to see Chloe pretending she was a cat, or Jessica doing the worm across the floor. I freaked out when Fat Amy swallowed fire, and laughed hysterically when Chloe got hit in the head with a hula hoop. It's been a whirlwind of emotions over the past few hours. Not to mention the amount of props and acrobatics was enough for me to question whether or not we were an A Capella group, or a bunch of circus freaks. I have no idea what was actually happening.

The end of practice finally came around so I saved what I accomplished so far and shut down my lap top. Legacy comes walking up to me sheepishly, and I roll my eyes subtly knowing that she probably wants to talk to me. I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just in a hurry to get to the studio.

"Uh, is it weird that we never got around to singing today?" she asks, shrugging her shoulders a bit.

I roll up my headphones and stick them into my bag.

"Uh, well, it's uh, kinda hard to start singing without arrangements and that's on me, so, thank you for reminding me," I try to say in the nicest way possible.

"Yeah, Bec, we're gonna need that A-S-A-P so we can start nailing down our choreography," Chloe chimes in, grabbing some of the props from Emily's hands.

"I'm right on top of that, Chlo," I say, shoving my laptop into my bag.

"Awes," Chloe utters as she walks towards the stands to collect the rest of her belongings.

"Yeah, 'awes'" I repeat, as I throw my bag over my shoulder, feeling a little uncomfortable that Legacy is still watching me.

"Uh, so I just wanted to let you know that I've been working really hard on, ya know, calming my nerves and keeping my eyes open. Um, I was wondering if you could give me some pointers, maybe… And ya know, with the singing I don't really know exactly where you're gonna put me in on the songs, but—"

"I don't mean to be rude, I just have somewhere that I need to be," I interject, looking down at my phone noting that it's almost 12:15 and I have to be at the studio in 30 minutes. "Um, you did great today," I say as I walk past her towards the doors, trying to reassure the both of us that I'm not a complete ass hat.

"Thanks," she replies softly, giving me a small smile.

As I reach the door, Chloe and Stacie barge back through.

"Oh, you scared me!" Stacie says, placing her hands on her breasts and jumping backwards.

"Just the person I was looking for. Where are you running off to now?" Chloe asks.

"Oh, I um… I just have some stuff I want to get done at the station and I was gonna meet Jesse for lunch to go over the schedule for next week, if that's cool with you?" I respond, leaning in and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Oh. Yeah, of course, Becs. Stacie is taking me dress shopping this afternoon for our date later," she winks and points her thumb to her left at the tall brunette who is smiling uncontrollably at the fact that Chloe came to her for style advice. "We're still on for that, right?"

"Of course we are," I say, placing my hand on her arm as I try to push past them. They make better doors than the actual doors themselves.

"Make sure you're ready by 6:30! Reservations are for 7! I'll be home around 6. I love you!" I call behind me as I've managed to get through them and out the door.

* * *

I check the time on my phone for the hundredth time since I've been here and roll my eyes at the fact that it's only 3:30, five minutes later than the last time I checked. This day is dragging by and I just want to get the hell out of here. They've had me cooped up at this desk since 1 o'clock and I've literally gotten nothing done. I put my elbows up on the desk and rest my head in my hands, running my fingers through my hair. I let out an overly exaggerated sigh as my phone buzzes and my eyes shoot open.

It's a text from Chloe. I drop my hands from my head and swipe the screen to unlock it. Tapping on her name, the text thread opens and a picture pops up of her in an all red, form fitting, strapless, sweetheart neck line dress that goes just below her knees. She's standing with her right hand on her hip looking to her left at herself in the fitting room mirror, and holy God, does she look stunning. My breath catches in my throat and I swallow hard. I look around me to see if anyone is watching me, then I type out a reply.

 **Beca: Well hello there, sexy lady ;)**

 **Chloe: Like what you see? ;)**

 **Beca: Indeed I do, m'lady**

Another picture comes through. This time she's wearing a short, orange colored dress that's _extremely_ low cut and strapless. It's simple, yet so elegant, and she looks flat out gorgeous. I can see Stacie in the mirror behind Chloe, who is obviously taking the pictures, giving the thumbs up. I laugh at the look on her face. Her mouth is wide open and she's winking rather aggressively. My phone buzzes and another text comes in.

 **Chloe: I'm torn between these two. What do you think?**

I smile and type out my reply.

 **Beca: You could wear anything and make it look good, but I wanna be surprised when I see you**

 **Chloe: Grr you're no help!**

I let out a chuckle, just as my boss walks through the door. I tuck my phone away quickly, and get back to work, a.k.a. doing nothing.

About an hour passes by when my phone buzzes in my pocket again. I glance around me, then open my pocket to see Chloe's name lit up on the screen. Glancing around again, I pull it out and slide to unlock it. I literally choke on air when I open the text.

Chloe is sitting on the floor in front of her bed wearing nothing but a bra and panties. A really sexy matching set of lingerie that I've never seen before. It's a nude bra with white lace patterns over it. She's kneeling on the back of her heels with her knees separated slightly, revealing the matching panties. She's holding her elbows in her hands hugging herself, her forearms resting just under her breasts, pushing them together slightly, creating a defined line between them. The strap on her left shoulder is falling. Her hair is down and wavy, and she's pushed it to the right side letting it flow over her shoulder.

Another picture comes through and I can barely contain myself. She's wearing the same lingerie, but she's standing in the doorway to the closet with her hands up on the door frame as if she's trying to hold it up. Her hair is flowing down and over both shoulders now. She's popping her right hip to the side with her left knee bent slightly, and she's wearing those red heels she knows I love. She has this sultry 'come and get it' look in her eyes and I think I might stop breathing.

 **Beca: Jesus woman you're going to be the death of me…**

 **Beca: Wait.. who is taking these pictures?**

I wait a few seconds for her reply.

 **Chloe: Timers are a wonderful thing Becs… see you soon ;)**

I just stare at the last text. _'Not soon enough,'_ I think to myself.

I take another quick look at the pictures and check the time before tucking it back into my pocket. It's almost 5 o'clock. Just another 40 minutes before I can get out of here and see my breath taking girlfriend.

It's a nice change to get these kinds of texts from Chloe. She's been acting a little distant the past few days and I can't exactly put my finger on why. Hopefully our night out will pull her out of her funk.

* * *

I pull into the driveway and run into the house as fast as I can. I'm well aware that I'm running a half hour behind schedule and Chloe is probably annoyed waiting for me.

As I burst through the door, there she is. She's standing in front of me looking regal and gorgeous, but she doesn't look upset. At least I don't think she does. For the first time in a long time, I can't seem to read her expression.

She's wearing a dress that I didn't see earlier, meaning she took my 'surprise me' comment literally. This is a more conservative dress compared to the other two. It's all white and covers up her chest. There are two diamond shaped cut outs; one above her breasts at the sternum, and the other just below them at her torso. The dress goes down below her knees, hugging her in all the right places. She's wearing white heels that wrap up around her ankles, and she's accented the outfit with pink toes, matching pink lipstick, and a dark pink pleather clutch.

She smiles at me softly, her eyes sparkling as I look back into them, attempting to pick my jaw up off the floor. Her hair is pulled to the side in a messy French braid. I smile back and walk to her slowly.

"Chloe, I'm so sorry I'm late," I whisper, leaning in and giving her a kiss. She stands almost guarded.

"It's okay, Becs. I haven't been waiting too long," she replies trying to reassure me, but I know this isn't true because there's something in her tone that sounds sad… or annoyed. I can't peg the emotion, and that makes me feel even guiltier.

"No, it's not okay. I'll make it up to you I promise. I'm gonna get ready real fast and then we can go," I say looking at the time on my phone. "If we can leave here by no later than 6:45 we can still get there for 7."

"Okay, I'll be here," she sighs, taking a seat on the couch. I lean down and kiss her on the forehead before I bolt up the stairs to get ready.

Once in our room, I quickly strip down and throw on the outfit I had picked out earlier. It's a black dress with ¾ length sleeves. It's conservative like Chloe's, but it's form fitting and goes to just above my knees. Bands of light pink and yellow box around the torso and waist, bottom of the skirt, and at the ends of the sleeves. I like it because it reminds me of pink lemonade.

I toss the sides of my messy, wavy hair up in the back with a clip. I grab my black heels and toss the necessities into my black clutch. I run to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth and reapply my make-up, then I make my way downstairs. It's 6:40 on the dot and I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself.

As I descend the stairs, Chloe turns and our eyes meet. Her face softens and she stands up, smiling gently at me.

"You look beautiful," she whispers.

"As do you," I reply, placing my hand on her upper arm and leaning in, gently kissing her lips. She eases into it this time, and I think I'm finally getting through to her.

"Are we ready?" I ask as we separate.

"I'm ready when you are."

I intertwine my arm with hers and head for the door.

"Your chariot awaits, m'lady," I say, as I usher her out the door, getting a light giggle in response.

When we get to the car, I open her door for her and close it once she's inside. I get into the driver's seat and buckle myself up. Turning the key in the ignition, I set up the Bluetooth to my iPod, handing it to Chloe allowing her to take the reins. She presses 'shuffle' and I pull out of the driveway as the acoustic version of Tiesto's "Red Lights" by Taryn Southern fills the car.

"So, where to?" I ask, giving Chloe a smirk.

"I… I thought you already had this planned out?" She questions, sounding rather confused.

I laugh and say "I know. I do. I'm just messing with you, babe." I reach over and place my hand on her knee.

She laughs a little and places her hand over mine. She's cold as ice and it makes me shudder. We sit in silence as the lyrics to the song play out over the speakers:

" _Nobody else needs to know,_

 _Where we might go._

 _We could just run them red lights,_

 _We could just run them red lights._

 _There ain't no reason to stay,_

 _We'll be lightyears away,_

 _We could just run them red lights,_

 _We could just run them red lights."_

The silence between us allows my mind to wander. I'm thinking about Chloe and everything that she means to me. I'm thinking about how we've been so distant with each other lately, and how I want that to change. I'm thinking about how I've kept the internship from her and how it feels like I've been kicked in the gut every time I make up some stupid excuse as to where I've been. And now I'm thinking that maybe I'll tell her about it tonight… when the moment feels right.

As we near the restaurant, I turn the music down. I want to hear her reaction when we pull in. Although, she's probably figured it out at this point, because she's stiffened up like a board next to me and is staring out the window like a newly adopted puppy. I can't stand how incredibly adorable she is.

"Becaaaa!" she cries out, her eyes brighten. "I've always wanted to go here!"

"I know," I say, smiling even brighter now.

* * *

I cut off a piece of my steak and place it in my mouth. Putting my fork and knife down on my plate, I lean back in my chair and place my hand on my stomach.

"I am stuffed," I say.

Chloe picks up her wine glass and finishes off the sip at the bottom. She grabs the bottle, holding it out, and tilts her head at me as if to ask if I want some.

"Oh, no thanks, babe. I already had one glass and you know I'm a lightweight. Plus, I have to drive," I say, waving my hand to brush it off.

"More for me," she mutters, as she tips the bottle, emptying the rest of its contents into her glass.

Her cheeks are red and I can tell she's a little tipsy. She's basically finished off an entire bottle of wine by herself. She also hasn't said much all night and I'm wondering what's on her mind.

"Hey, Chlo…?" I ask, trying to get her attention. She's taken her phone from her clutch and reading a text now. She's always a little all over the place when she drinks.

"Oh, hey Becs!" she says excitedly, looking up from her phone. She clearly didn't hear me. "So it's Friday and some of the girls are going to Open Mic night at Apache like we usually do. Do you still wanna go?"

I pause before I answer. I'm a little surprised she's thinking about hanging out with the girls when we're on a nice date night, something we don't get to do often.

"Yeah… yeah, of course," I say, a little reluctantly, but I just want to see her happy, and if that's what does it, then so be it. "I just have one more place I want to take you before we do."

* * *

I run to the car and quickly grab the two sweaters I put in the backseat earlier. The sun's gone down now and there's a slight chill in the air. I walk back to Chloe who's waiting for me on the docks and drape the sweater over her shoulders. She doesn't thank me, but she smiles timidly at me.

I grab her hand and we start walking down the boardwalk next to the Chattahoochee. The moon is out, and it's huge and gorgeous. There's moonlight flooding over the rickety board beneath our feet and lighting our path. I look over to Chloe as we walk in silence. The moonlight is soft on her face and her eyes are sparkling. I smile a tight lipped smile and my heart flutters. I will never get over the beauty that is Chloe Beale.

She squeezes my hand and stops us in our tracks. She's turned to face me with another expression I can't seem to read.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, "I didn't even thank you for tonight."

"Chloe," I say, stepping towards her, lifting my hands to her face. I caress my thumbs softly over her cheek bones. "You don't have to thank me. I wanted to do this for _you_ as my way of saying 'thank you' for putting up with me."

She smiles sympathetically, and I pull her in, connecting our lips. Everything about this moment feels right. I'm standing beneath the moonlight, kissing the woman of my dreams. And, for the first time in a while, I think to myself, _'everything is going to be just fine.'_

* * *

It's close to 10 o'clock now as we pull up to Apache Café. Regardless of the fact that we frequent this place on a weekly basis, I still get the heebie-jeebies crossing the parking lot. On the outside, it looks run down, and almost like it's been shut down for quite some time. But the inside is another story. The lights are turned down low and there's an orange glow to the atmosphere. There are unique paintings on the brick walls that seem to change every now and again when they've done another art exhibit. The small stage at the front is surrounded by petite-sized circular tables scattered throughout, and there's a long bar that stretches across half of the right side of the entire establishment.

When we walk in the door, we're greeted by Stacie and Fat Amy.

"I'm gonna grab a drink. You want something?" Chloe asks. I shake my head 'no' and she hands me her sweater and asks if I'll bring it to the coat check, then walks towards the bar with Stacie.

"Hey, short stack. You clean up nicely," Amy says, eyeing me up and down. I feel my cheeks redden.

"Thanks, Amy," I say and look down at my feet. She nudges my shoulder, and nods towards the bar.

"Stacie already performed her own rendition of 'Like a Virgin' and it was in every way entertaining," she says, rubbing her body aggressively in all places with both of her hands, mocking Stacie's act. I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes, because nobody is surprised by this.

I look towards the stage and notice no one is performing at the moment and I decide to take advantage of it. I bring our sweaters over to the coat check, then head towards the MC stand by the stage. I have no idea what I'm going to sing, but as I'm nearing the stage I notice a girl sitting at a table to the left holding a guitar that looks just like mine.

"Hey, would you mind if I borrow this for a song?" I ask. She just nods her head and hands it over to me.

'Well, that was easy,' I think to myself.

I lean in to the MC manning the table to let him know I'll be performing an acoustic song, and he turns the background music off. I walk up the three steps to the stage and pull a chair from the corner into the middle with me. I take a seat and readjust the microphone so it's at the right height. As I fiddle with the strings, the perfect song comes to mind.

"Hey everyone," I say, announcing my presence to the room, "I'm gonna sing a song for you tonight and dedicate it to my beautiful girlfriend, who is sitting right over there," I say, squinting my eyes and pointing in the direction to where Chloe is now sitting at a table with Stacie and Amy, sipping on her drink. Some of the heads turn to look at her and I think I may have embarrassed her a little. I smile and start strumming the intro to the song.

" _My eyes are no good, blind without her,_

 _When she moves, I never doubt her,_

 _When she talks she somehow creeps into my dreams._

 _She's a dollar, catch, a winner,_

 _I'm in love and no beginner could ever grasp_

 _or understand just what she means._

 _Baby, baby blue eyes,_

 _Stay with me by my side,_

' _til the morning through the night._

 _Well, baby stand here holding my sides,_

 _Close your baby blue eyes,_

 _Every moment feels right._

 _And I may feel like a fool,_

 _But I'm the only one dancin' with you._

 _I drive her home when she can't stand,_

 _I like to think I'm a better woman_

 _For not letting her do what she's been known to do._

 _She wears heels and she always falls,_

 _So I let her think she's a know-it-all,_

 _But whatever she does wrong, it seems so right._

 _My eyes don't believe her,_

 _But my heart swears by her,_

 _Baby, baby blue eyes,_

 _Stay with me by my side,_

' _til the morning through the night._

 _Well, baby, stand here holding my sides,_

 _Close your baby blue eyes,_

 _Every moment feels right._

 _And I may feel like a fool,_

 _But I'm the only one dancin' with you."_

As I strum to the bridge of the song, I look out over the crowd and find Chloe's face. My stomach twists in knots when I see her expression. She looks sad, tortured almost. Then I notice she has two empty glasses in front of her and wonder if she's even coherent enough to understand the words I'm singing to her.

" _Can't get you out of my mind,_

 _I swear I've been there,_

 _I swear I've done that,_

 _I'll do whatever it takes just to see those,_

 _Baby, baby blue eyes,_

 _Stay with me by my side,_

' _til the morning through the night._

 _Baby stand here holding my sides,_

 _While closing your baby blue eyes,_

 _Every moment feels right._

 _My eyes are no good, blind without her,_

 _The way she moves I never doubt her,_

 _When she talks she somehow creeps into my dreams…"_

I finish strumming the last chords to the song, and look up to find Chloe, but she's not sitting at the table anymore. I see Fat Amy, but no Chloe or Stacie.

Shaking it off, I stand up and go to walk off the stage. Just as I'm coming off the last step, a clearly wasted Chloe slams into me.

"Oh!" I breathe out harshly as the base of the guitar rams up under my ribs. "Are you okay, Chlo?" I reach out to steady her, but she pulls away tersely. I look at her questioningly, wondering how drunk she actually is right now.

"It's my turn," she scowls, grabbing the guitar from my hands and pushing past me, stomping up the steps to the stage. She staggers her way clumsily to the chair, and drops herself down.

I turn to look at Stacie who clearly followed Chloe up here for a reason, and just give her an inquisitive glare.

"I don't know, Becs, she's pretty drunk right now…" she trails off and looks up to the stage as Chloe starts playing.

For someone that's that hammered, she's playing really well. I can't quite make out what song it is she's playing because I've never heard her play this one before. Then she starts singing…

" _No matter how hard I try,_

 _You keep pushing me aside,_

 _And I can't break through,_

 _There's no talking to you._

 _It's so sad that you're leaving,_

 _It takes time to believe it,_

 _But after all is said and done,_

 _You're gonna be the lonely one…"_

Her voice is hoarse from drinking so much, but it still sounds fairly clear. As the words to the song ring through my mind, it dawns on me what she's singing, and I can't help but wonder why…

" _Do you believe in life after love?_

 _I can feel something inside me saying,_

' _I really don't think you're strong enough.'_

 _What am I supposed to do?_

 _Sit around and wait for you?_

 _Well, I can't do that,_

 _And there's no turning back._

 _I need time to move on,_

 _I need love to feel strong,_

 _See, I've had time to think it through,_

 _And maybe I'm too good for you."_

I've moved to a table at the front of the stage now and Chloe is glaring right at me as she sings every word.

" _Oh, do you believe in life after love?_

 _I can feel something inside me saying,_

' _I really don't think you're strong enough.'_

 _Do you believe in life after love?_

 _I can feel something inside me saying,_

' _I really don't think you're strong enough.'_

 _Well I know I'll get through this, yeah, yeah,_

 _And I know I am strong._

 _I don't need you anymore,_

 _No, I don't need you anymore,_

 _I don't need you anymore,_

 _I don't need you anymore, oh._

 _Do you believe in life after love?_

 _I can feel something inside me saying,_

' _I really don't think you're strong enough, no.'_

 _Do you believe in life after love?_

 _Cause' I can feel something inside me saying,_

' _I really don't think you're strong enough, no…"_

She finishes the last line in a hushed tone. Her voice cracks, probably from all the alcohol she's consumed tonight. But, wait. Is she…crying? She's got her eyes squeezed shut and I can see a single tear glistening from the stage lights fall out and run down her cheek. I look over at Stacie, who just shakes her head like she doesn't know either.

I get up and push to the steps and onto the stage to where she's sitting. Chloe looks up at me, and for a second I think she's happy to see me. But then her expression changes, twisting her features, and she pushes me away as I try to help her up.

"Stop, Beca, I can do it myself," she huffs out. She stands up and shoves the guitar back into my chest, taking my breath away, and starts towards the steps.

"Chloe, what's going on?" I ask, following her down. "Why are you so upset?"

She staggers to the bottom of the steps and is making her way towards the coat check now. I hand the guitar back to the girl I borrowed it from and thank her before chasing after Chloe.

When I catch up to her I reach out and grab her by the arm, swinging her around to look at me. When she does, I can see her mascara is streaked down her cheeks and the tears are flowing.

"Chloe, talk to me," I press, with a tinge of concern in my voice. I move in closer, but she keeps pulling back.

"There's nothing to talk about, Beca!" She spits out, putting out her hand for the coat ticket. I pull it out and hand it directly to the coat girl, realizing that there's no reasoning with Chloe right now, so if she wants to leave, then we'll leave.

"Come on, baby," I say, grabbing her shoulders, trying to get her to just look at me, "you think I haven't realized you've been a little checked out lately?" I ask.

She takes her sweater from the coat girl as she spins on her heels and shoots a piercing glare at me. I freeze in my spot because I've never seen her look this irate, and quite frankly, it was terrifying.

"You know, I could say the same for you," she hisses, plunging her finger into my chest bone. Then, she turns again on her heels and briskly walks for the door.

"Chloe, wait!" I call out, grabbing my own sweater and rubbing my sternum where she jabbed me, chasing after her again. I make eye contact with Stacie as I'm trying to catch up with Chloe. The tall brunette just shrugs her shoulders, probably just as confused as I am.

I catch up to her just before she reaches the door.

"Chloe, seriously, can we just talk?" I ask again, reaching for her hand. She slithers from my grasp and pushes herself out the door.

"I already told you, Beca, there's nothing to talk about!" she yells behind her, as she drags herself towards the car.

I'm shuffling through my clutch trying to find my keys, but I can't.

"Shit," I mutter under my breath, stopping in the middle of the parking lot.

There's a tap on my shoulder and I turn to see Stacie and Amy standing in front of me. Amy's holding out my keys and Stacie's got her arms crossed, staring at Chloe across the lot. I take the keys from Amy and thank her.

"What's her deal?" Stacie asks, nodding towards Chloe.

"Beats me," I reply, looking over my shoulder at the messy redhead leaning against the passenger side door of my car. _'But, I think I might have an idea,'_ I say in my head. I get butterflies at that thought, but definitely not the good kind.

"Trouble in paradise?" Fat Amy asks with her eyebrows raised, getting a whack in the arm from Stacie. "Ow," she says, rubbing it out with her other hand.

"Well, whatever it is, go fix it!" Stacie hisses, pointing towards Chloe, hinting for me to go now.

"We'll see you at home, short stack," Amy says, "Get home safe."

They turn around and head back inside, so I slowly turn on my heels and walk towards the car. Chloe has her back towards me, but I can tell she's got her arms crossed and that this ride home is going to suck, to say the least.

"It's open," I say, as I hit the unlock button and open the driver side door.

I get inside and watch her through the window as she fumbles with the door handle. She finally figures it out and throws herself into the seat, putting her seatbelt on and turning her body to look out the window. Starting up the car, I attach the iPod back to the Bluetooth and put it on shuffle, letting the car run for a few minutes before leaving. As we're pulling out, the sounds of "Joey" by Sugarland start to fill the car.

" _What if I said yes?_

 _What if I'd gone out that night?_

 _What if you turned left?_

 _Everything would've turned out alright._

 _What if I spoke up?_

 _What if I took the keys?_

 _What if I had tried a little harder?_

 _Instead of always trying to please?"_

"I know, Beca," Chloe says sternly, turning herself to look forward out the windshield, her arms still crossed.

"You… you know what?" I say, my heart picking up its pace now.

" _Joey, I'm so sorry_

 _Oh, can you hear me?_

 _Joey, I'm so sorry."_

I reach out to turn the volume down because she's talking so quietly and her words are still a little slurred.

" _What if I said no?_

 _What if we never fell in love?_

 _What if we'd gone slow?_

 _Or a little bit faster and broken up?"_

Chloe lets out a huff of air and says "About the job… or internship, or whatever it is that you've been sneaking off to…"

My heart sinks and I can feel all the blood in my face rush to my insides. My breathing becomes shallow and I grip the steering wheel tighter.

"H—how…?" is all I can get out.

"Because I'm not as stupid as you think I am, Beca."

"Chloe, that's not fair. I don't think you're—"

"Why didn't you tell me?" She's facing me now. I can see the tears starting up again from the corner of my eye, but I can't will myself to face her.

 _(Would I know this hurt?_

 _Would I feel this pain?_

 _Do you know that with all I have left,_

 _In my very last breath,_

 _I will call your name?)_

"I… Chloe, I don't know. I just didn't think you would understand…" I say, trailing off. I really am at a loss for words here. This wasn't how I wanted her to find out. I wanted to tell her myself.

"You didn't think I would understand? What I don't understand is why you would hide something like this from me…"

"Chloe, I'm sorry. You've just been so hung up on winning World's that I didn't want you thinking I had my mind on anything else. A legit music producer wants to hear my work. God forbid I have something going on outside the Bellas!" I'm shouting now. I can feel the frustration and defensiveness bubbling up inside me. All those walls she's worked so hard to break down are slowly building themselves back up.

 _(Joey, I'm so sorry,_

 _Oh, ooo, oh, can you hear me?_

 _Joey, I'm so sorry.)_

"Okay? So why would you keep that from us? From _me_?!" She cries.

"Because you're obsessed, Chloe! We're graduating and the only one thinking about life after the Bellas is me!"

"What is so wrong with being focused on the Bellas?" She says protectively. "And who cares about them right now? I want to know why you kept this from _me_ , Beca?" She's pressing her right hand into her chest over where her heart is.

" _Because_ , Chloe…" I stop talking and bite my lip hard before I say something that will only make this worse.

"Because, _what_ , Beca?" She asks slowly, but I just clench my jaw and hold my breath.

 _(Were you sad? Were you scared?_

 _Did you whisper a prayer to be free?_

 _Was it quiet and cold?_

 _Was it light or too dark to see?_

 _And did you reach for me?)_

When I don't answer, Chloe shifts herself to face forward, crossing her arms again. She lets out a disgusted sigh and shakes her head in disbelief.

"How am I supposed to be with someone who doesn't trust me and hides things from me? And how am I supposed to trust someone who blatantly lies to me about where she is all day?" she mumbles through her tears.

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Chloe!" I shout. I'm starting to get annoyed with her now. "It's not like I'm fucking cheating on you!"

"How the fuck would I know if you were or not?!" She yells back.

 _(Joey, I'm so sorry._

 _Oh, ooo, oh, can you hear me?_

 _Joey, I'm so sorry,_

 _Oh, ooo, oh, ooo, oh, can you hear me?)_

I turn to look at her now, violently glaring at the side of her face.

"You think I would cheat on you, Chloe?! You really think I would go that low?!" I'm screaming now. My face is red and my ear drums are throbbing and all I can hear is my heart pounding inside my head. In an instant her face changes from an unmistakable expression of pure anger and hurt, to horror and panic.

"Beca, the light! Watch out!" Chloe screams, throwing her hands up in front of her face.

I turn forward quickly and slam on the breaks, but everything is black now.

Everything is quiet.

 _(Joey I'm so…_

 _Joey, I'm so… sorry…)_

* * *

 **A/N: -_- Angst-y, I know. Just don't give up on us!**

 **Stay weird :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First and foremost, I am SO sorry this has taken me so long to update! I am genuinely trying to stick to the at least once a week update when I can between my busy schedule, but I had a lot of personal crap happen over the past few weeks and it's just been one thing after another with no end in sight! Luckily, things are starting to settle down slightly so I finally had time to sit down and work with sugarlandaddict23 on this chapter!  
**

 **Okay, no more boring talk about my boring life ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

I'm trying to open my eyes but every time I crack them, I'm blinded by bright lights, so I close them again tightly. All I can hear is beeping sounds in the background, like that of a heart monitor. _'Is that mine?'_ I think to myself, as I listen to the erratic rhythm play over and over again.

Someone is tugging on my eyelids now, shining a tiny flashlight directly into my pupils. I shake my head side to side and try to squeeze my eyes shut in protest. I can feel the person back away, allowing me to do it on my own this time. I blink rapidly trying to make the blurry silhouette come into focus. She looks like a doctor wearing an all-white coat with dark blue scrubs on underneath. She's smiling at me and I moan in annoyance because I _really_ just want her to go away.

"Beca, it's good to see you waking up. I'm Dr. Roberts," the woman says, in a hushed, gentle tone.

 _'Waking up?'_ I think. _'What am I doing here? Wait, where is here? Where am I?'_

I must look confused, because Dr. Roberts starts talking to me again, explaining what happened.

"You were in an accident, Beca. You're at Atlanta Medical Center," she says. "You're pretty banged up, and you probably have a good concussion, but your scans are clean and I think you're gonna be just fine," she continues, as she stuffs her hands into the pockets of her oversized coat.

"An… an accident?" I question, putting my hand up to touch the bandage on my head, becoming more aware of the pounding headache I have, but I'm stopped when a sharp pain seers through my right arm. I look down to see it in a splint and wrapped with an ace bandage.

"Shit," I mutter under my breath, using my left hand to touch the splint.

"Your arm is broken in two places," the woman says, taking a step closer to the wall where there are x-rays pinned up on light boxes, flipping the switch to illuminate the pictures.

"Lucky for you it was a pretty clean break making it an easy fix," she says pointing to an area in the middle of my arm that looks like there are metal plates and screws in both of the bones.

"You… had to do surgery?" I ask, looking down at my arm again.

"Yes, unfortunately we did," she answers softly, as she flips the light back off and drags over a roller stool, taking a seat next to my bed.

I rest my head back into the pillow and close my eyes as she continues to explain my injuries to me.

"It's just a few stitches and we had our plastic surgeon close you up, so the scarring will be pretty minimal…" she trails off and takes a deep breath before continuing, probably noting the look of discomfort written across my face. "All you have to do is press this button here and it will give you another dose of Morphine for the pain." She gently opens up the fingers on my right hand and places into it a small cylindrical device attached to a wire with a little green button on the top. I wince at the pain of my fingers moving.

She peers out the tall window that leads to the hallway, then looks down at her shoes. I look up to see two policemen standing at the nurse's station questioning Stacie and Amy. I make eye contact with Stacie who just gives me a sheepish smile and a curt wave of her hand down by her hip. She looks like she's been crying.

I look back at Dr. Roberts who is now studying my face. I do the same now that my vision is clearer and she's in such close proximity. She looks young, but there are dark bags under her eyes that age her about 10 years. Her light brown hair is pulled back into two French braids and a tight bun. Her chocolate brown eyes are glaring at me inquisitively.

"What are they doing here?" I ask motioning to my friends in the hall. "Why are they talking to the cops?"

The doctor takes another deep breath before continuing, narrowing her gaze.

"Beca, do you remember anything about the accident?"

I wrack my brain hard, but I'm not sure I remember exactly what happened at this moment. I remember having a nice dinner with Chloe and walking the boardwalk in the bright moonlight. I remember going to what I had thought would be a fun open mic night at Apache with the girls, but that just ended up turning out to be disastrous. I remember fighting with Chloe in the car. It's coming back in waves now. She was yelling, and crying, and upset about the internship and all my lies. And then I remember the look in her eyes of absolute panic… then the red light… and the blaring horn of an 18-wheeler, and then…

"Oh my God," I whisper. "Chloe… what happened to Chloe?!" I cry out, darting my eyes up to meet Dr. Roberts'.

Tears form in my eyes when the doctor doesn't answer me right away.

"No," I barely squeak out, "No! Don't tell me she's… she's… is she…?" I'm hysterical now, unable to form a coherent sentence.

The doctor reaches out and places her hand on my shoulder.

"No, she's not," she says sympathetically. I suck in a hard gust of air not realizing I had stopped breathing. "But, she's in pretty rough shape right now," she finishes.

"Can I see her?" I ask, because that's all I really care about.

"We need to make sure your vitals are okay and that your concussion isn't too severe before I let you do anything. I'd prefer you stay in bed for a while, but if everything checks out over the next couple of hours, I'll see about letting you visit her."

She's gotten up and walked to the end of the bed, looking over my chart.

"But, I have to warn you, it's not a pretty sight, Beca. Like I said before, she's in rough shape," she says looking up to meet my eyes. Her features are stern but solemn.

Before I can open my mouth to ask her all of the questions that are burning away in my brain, there's a soft knock on the door. Dr. Roberts turns her head as it cracks open. She walks over and whispers something to the person on the other side, nodding her head in agreement with whatever is being said, then turns to look back at me.

"Beca, the police officer want to know if now is a good time to come in and get your statement on what you remember from the accident. Is that alright? I can always ask them to come back if you'd like to rest…"

"Um, yeah, no. That's… now is fine," I mumble out between my soft sobs, reaching up with my left hand at an attempt to wipe the tears streaming down my cheeks that I just can't seem to stop now. She pushes the door open and gives a sullen nod to the cop that's now standing in the doorway, then looks back at me.

"Just tell them what you remember," she says, "you'll be okay. I'll be back to check on you in a little while." She turns on her heels and exits the room.

I look up to meet the eyes of the cop walking towards me. He's tall and skinny, no more than 30 years old, with a fresh buzz cut. _'Typical,'_ I think to myself. He's got a small notepad and a pen in his hands.

Maybe it's just the concussion, but the sound of his boots hitting the floor with each stride sound like a baby elephant taking steps across the room for the first time. I close my eyes hard and place my hand over them, pinching at my temples, rubbing slow circles to ease the ache.

"I'm Officer Williams from the Atlanta PD. I'll be takin' yer statement tonight, Miss… Mitchell, is it?" he asks, looking up from his notepad. He has a real thick southern drawl, and his voice is a lot higher than I was expecting.

I nod my head yes, feeling too weak to answer. I have to save all of my energy to explain everything I can remember to him, which is actually _everything_ now. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before beginning my story.

As I finish telling him my account, my body is trembling and I'm breaking down into tears for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.

"So, ya said ya hadn't been drinkin', is that correct?" Officer Williams asks.

"No. I had one glass of wine at the restaurant, but that was it," I say, trying to calm myself down a little. "That was at like 7:30 and we left Apache around 10:30. Ask Stacie and Amy out there. They were with us," I say pointing to the girls who are still standing off to the side of the nurse's station. "Didn't they take my blood levels when I came in? Ask the doctor what it was. I swear, I was 100% sober…"

"I believe ya, Miss Mitchell. I just have to make sure all the facts are straight and that everythin' adds up," he looks down at me with sadness in his eyes. "I just need as many details as you can remember."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"I ran a red light," I whisper. "I wasn't paying attention—we were fighting… am I in trouble?" I ask.

I open my eyes to look back at him, more tears flowing out as I do. He finishes writing in his notepad and closes it, shoving the pen harshly through the wire rings at the top and placing it into his breast pocket.

"We're gonna have to cite ya for the red light violation, but I don't want ya to worry 'bout that just yet," he says. "Just worry 'bout healin' yerself up, and we'll take care of the rest later."

He starts to walk out of the room, but stops and turns to look back at me before he does.

"I'm real sorry this happened to ya, Miss Mitchell. Get well soon, ya hear?" He nods his head downwards and tips his hat, then walks out of the room.

I throw my head back into the pillow and push the tiny green button in my hand. Within what feels like seconds the pain starts to dissipate slightly. There's two soft knocks on the door.

"Hey, Becs? Is it okay if we come in?" Stacie asks slowly, poking her head around the corner of the door.

"Only if you shut the lights off when you do," I answer.

The lights go off and there's a soft glow from the dim bedside table lamp I didn't realize was already on. Stacie pulls up the roller stool to the right side of my bed as Amy loudly drags the hospital chair from the corner of the room to my other side. I shoot her a dagger of a look I've reserved for people like her in moments like this.

"Sorry," she whispers, and takes a seat next to me.

"Beca, I'm _so_ glad you're okay, I was so worried. We'd left shortly after you guys and drove by the accident on the way home," Stacie says quietly.

"It looked real bad, short stack" Amy says, shaking her head side to side. "That was a big truck, and Chloe's whole side of the car was, like…" she trails off punching a fist into her open palm, making an explosion sound with her mouth. This warrants a harsh glare from Stacie across the bed.

I squeeze my eyes shut as a tear escapes. Stacie reaches up and wipes it with her thumb.

"We called her parents. They're driving up from Tampa now. Should be here in a few more hours," she says looking down at her watch. "And I called Aubrey in New York. She's not sure if she can get off work right now, but she'll try to get here as soon as she can…"

"Ha—have you seen her? Chloe?" I ask, opening my eyes and making direct eye contact with Stacie. She nods her head 'yes.'

"Briefly… once she was out of surgery," she murmurs, "she looks… she looks bad, Beca. I won't lie…"

"But… she's alive, right?" I ask feeling a slight panic rise in my chest as my breathing picks up and the monitor to my right indicates my heart rate does the same. I get another nod from Stacie and I relax just a little. "That's all that matters then, I can deal with whatever else. As long as she's okay. She's gonna be okay, right?" I sound desperate now, my eyes never leaving Stacie's. I have no idea the extent of Chloe's injuries, but everyone keeps saying she doesn't look good. That could mean anything, though. I'm positive I don't look that great right now either.

"Right," Stacie whispers, giving me a sorrowful grin that makes my stomach twist in knots. Her answer is entirely unsuccessful at making me feel any better, so I close my eyes and press that little green button two more times. Within seconds, I've drifted off into the darkness again.

* * *

I blink my eyes a few times and look to my right. I can see the blurry outline of a tall brunette sit up straighter in the chair beside me.

"Hey sleepyhead," Stacie says. "You've been out for a while…"

I lift my left wrist up, squinting my right eye shut, as if I'm looking at a watch I'm not sure is even there. This elicits a giggle from the girl next to me.

"I can't read this," I mumble, shoving my arm into Stacie's face. "What's it say?"

"Woah!" Stacie says throwing herself away from the arm that's threatening her face and grabbing my wrist. "Someone's still a little loopy." She laughs and rests my hand back on the bed, and looks down at her own watch that must be working better than mine.

"Suit yourself," I mumble.

"It's 4am, Becs. You've been sleeping for a couple hours now." She pauses and looks towards the door. "Chloe's parents should be here in an hour or so." She looks back to me. "You should ease up on the pain meds for a while so you're coherent when they get here."

I'm not sure what I'm doing right now, but I abruptly sit up and start pulling at all the things that are attached to me. That one thingy on my finger is so annoying, so I push it off with my thumb. The heart monitor stops beeping and makes a dinging sound.

"Oh my God, am I dead?!" I slur out, staring at the screen where the little green line that said my heart was beating no longer exists. Stacie reaches out and is fighting with me to put it back on my finger, but I just keep pushing her away.

"If you were dead you wouldn't be such a pain in my ass! Seriously, Beca, stop screwing around!" She sounds annoyed. I've never seen Stacie annoyed, so I comply. But not before I rip off one of the sticky pads from my chest, much to my own displeasure.

"Owwwwwwww!" I cry out, rubbing the tender spot above my heart. Stacie's laughing again.

"Well that's what you get," she says curtly, taking the sticky pad away from me. "Are you done?" she asks, taking a seat next to me and placing the sticky thing back where it came from. I look at her and scrunch up my face.

"Sure… _mom_ ," I say mockingly. She ignores the comment and places that annoying thing back on my finger. I rest back into my pillow as the sound of my heart beat picks up on the monitor again. It's a short lived resting period as shoot upright again quickly.

"It's 4am?!" I exclaim, just now realizing what she had said like five minutes ago. She looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Well it's 4:15 now," she says, and smiles softly.

"You should be sleeping. Why are you even here?!" I ask.

"Because you're my friend, Beca. And so is Chloe. I just want to make sure you're both okay…"

"Well in that case… can you get me some ice cream?" I ask. I don't understand why she's laughing at me again. This is a serious matter. My tummy really wants a pint of Ben & Jerry's Boston Cream Pie. I'm not sure what's in that dirty Boston water up there, but it must make those people geniuses. Best. Invention. Ever.

"Maybe in a little while," she responds. "The doctor doesn't want you eating anything just yet. Here's some ice chips." She's holding out a small Styrofoam cup filled with ice. I'm looking at her like she's the crazy one now, but I shove my hand into the cup anyway and pull out a chunk of ice, placing it into my mouth and chewing on it loudly, trying to pretend it tastes like a Boston Cream Pie.

I take a deep breath, still sitting up straight in the bed. I squint my eyes at a sign that's tacked to the corkboard next to the stuff that says all my doctors' and nurses names and whatever.

"Does that say 'Believe in Mexicans?'" I ask, dead serious.

"What?" Stacie asks, swinging her head to look at what I'm seeing. She erupts in laughter and I look at her like she's crazy again.

"Beca, oh my God!" she says between breaths. "That says 'Believe in CLEAN HANDS!' not Mexicans!" She continues laughing and I just shrug it off.

"Whatever, it looks like Mexicans," I say, leaning back into the bed.

"I think I like high Beca better than sober Beca," Stacie says. "We should see if they'll send you home with some of this stuff." Stacie settles back into her chair as I close my eyes and swallow thickly. "Woah, are you okay, Becs? You look like you're gonna be sick…"

I feel my stomach turn and I nod my head furiously up and down. She jumps up hastily and throws the bucket on my lap just in time for the contents of my stomach to empty into it.

"It's okay, Beca. You're gonna be okay," Stacie whispers as she rubs harsh circles into my back.

Tears are running down my cheeks again, and I break down into deep sobs.

"Aren't you glad I didn't get you that ice cream now?" Stacie whispers as she wraps her arms around me once my dry heaves have stopped. I don't even have the strength to react.

A sharp pain rips through my arm and the ache in my head begins to pound furiously as I come down from my Morphine high. I reach for the little green button, but Stacie pulls it out of reach.

"Beca," she says softly, pushing the stray hairs out of my face and lifting my chin to look directly into her eyes. "You _really_ should try to hold off for a while. It's clearly making you sick and I think you should be more with it when Mr. and Mrs. Beale get here. That way we can all talk to the doctor together…"

I just nod my head in agreement, too weak to use my words, and lean into her embrace again. She nudges me over and climbs into the bed next to me, humming quietly while tracing up and down my shoulder lightly with her fingers until my mind goes blank again.

* * *

Stacie wheels me over to the elevator and presses the button to go up. As the doors open, she turns me around and pulls me in backwards, then presses the button to the 5th floor.

"Where are we going?" I ask. "She's not on the same floor as me?"

"No, she's on the neuro ICU," Stacie answers as the doors close in front of us. "She was transferred up there after she got out of surgery…"

"Neuro ICU?" I ask, thinking out loud.

"Yeah, you know, the neurological intensive care unit…" The tall brunette clarifies, pointing to the words next to '5th Floor' on the inside wall of the elevator. I look up at her standing beside me.

"I know what it stands for," I spit out. "I'm just trying to make sense of all this. She's in intensive care? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask defensively.

Stacie just purses her lips and looks down at her feet.

"Beca, I don't know much more than this is the floor that she's on. The doctor wouldn't tell us anything until her parents got here."

We ride up to the 5th floor in silence. When the elevator doors open, she wheels me out into the hall. I try to take in the sights and sounds around me. There are glass wall windows and sliding glass doors to every room. Most of the rooms we pass have the curtains pulled shut, but some of them don't. The people inside are lying motionless and attached to all sorts of machines. I can hear the beeping of heart monitors and the whooshing sounds of ventilators.

I'm brought back from my thoughts as we stop in front of one of the rooms I assume must be Chloe's. Room 555, the second to last on the right side of the hall. The curtain is pulled mostly closed, but I can see Mrs. Beale's face on the other side through a slight crack. She appears to be sitting down at the side of the bed, her eyes look red and puffy. Just then, the door slides open.

"Beca. Stacie. Come on in," Dr. Roberts says, meeting my gaze and then the brunette's behind me. She's smiling softly.

Stacie wheels me into the room and stops me right at the foot of Chloe's bed. I look up to see her, to _really_ see her, for the first time since the accident. The tears well up in my eyes. I get it now, all those things everyone was saying before. She really does look… _awful_.

She's hooked up to a countless number of machines: a heart monitor, a ventilator that looks like it's attached at an opening made in her throat, there are wires attached to pads on her chest, and some attached to different areas of her head that looks like it's been partially shaved. Half of her head is bandaged up, from where I assume they did surgery. She's almost unrecognizable. Her face is swollen and bruised, her right arm is casted all the way up, and her right leg is in this crazy metal contraption that looks like something out of a horror movie.

I throw my hand up over my mouth as I feel the bile rise up in my throat, and I firmly close my eyes. I feel Stacie grip my shoulders, and then the icy hand of Mrs. Beale gently rests on my knee. It's so cold it feels like it's almost burning through my hospital gown.

"Beca," she whispers. "Beca, it's okay…" her frozen fingers squeeze my thigh gently.

I look up to meet her eyes. They're soft and sad, and swollen and puffy. She smiles sideways at me, and my heart skips a beat. _'_ _ **I**_ _did this to her._ _ **I**_ _put her in this position,'_ I say in my head. The feeling of guilt is starting to weigh heavy on my heart and lungs, and now I feel like I can't breathe.

I must be struggling for air, because Dr. Roberts is now kneeling by my side instructing me to take slow deep breaths, as she's pressing her stethoscope into my chest. I'm starting to feel lightheaded and woozy. I attempt to slow my breathing, doing as she says.

When I'm finally able catch my breath, I feel the embrace of Mrs. Beale wrap around my shoulders.

"Beca, I'm so happy that you're okay…" she looks at me and smiles softly again, a single tear escaping down her cheek. This tortures me inside and I'm not sure how to react.

"Well, the Lord takes care of stupid people and children," I say, responding in the only way I know how: sarcasm. I look down at my lap in shame and play with my swollen fingers protruding from the big ugly splint. She laughs at me anyway.

"I'm glad to see you haven't changed a bit since the last time we saw you. Still feisty," she says, sending me a wink. So, _that's_ where Chloe gets it from. I crack a smile at this gesture.

"Beca, I was just about to go over Chloe's current status with the Beale's. I think it's a good idea for you to hear it as well…" Dr. Roberts says, and I turn to look up at her. I nod slowly and close my eyes, then look back down at my lap.

Mrs. Beale has shifted her seat closer to me, and is holding onto my left hand. Mr. Beale is standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders, and Stacie is behind me doing the same.

All eyes are on Dr. Roberts now. She appears nervous. Fiddling with the silver band on her ring finger, she takes a deep breath.

"Chloe sustained some pretty serious injuries," she starts, "as you can see, her leg was broken in multiple locations, requiring surgery where they were able to mend it together with plates and screws. This here is what we call an external fixator," she says, pointing to the scary metal apparatus on Chloe's leg. "We had to do this as a means to stabilize the soft tissue and bony disruption…" she trails off noting our confusion. "Basically it's just damage control."

She leans into the bed rails, getting closer to Chloe so she can point out everything as she goes.

"Her arm was broken in three places. Each bone in the arm here," she says, pointing to Chloe's forearm, "and a clean break in the humerus here," she continues, pointing to the middle of the cast at her upper arm. "This is why the cast goes all the way up."

She takes another deep breath before continuing. She pulls the sheet down off of Chloe's lower body, revealing something similar to a heavy weight championship wrestling belt that's wrapped tightly around her hips.

I lift my hand to my mouth in disbelief. I scan Chloe's mangled body now that it's in full view, and note the bruises that cover her left side as well.

' _How could I have let this happen?'_ I ask myself as I attempt to keep the tears at bay.

"She also suffered a fractured pelvis. They were unable to correct this surgically, as she started to crash…" she looks down at her hands again and blinks her eyes rapidly, as if she's fighting back her own tears. She composes herself and continues. "We decided this was the least of her worries at that moment and moved on to the more severe injuries, so her hips are being stabilized by this sling," she finishes, covering Chloe's legs with the sheet again.

' _This is all my fault,'_ I think.

Dr. Roberts walks towards the end of the bed and grabs the chart hanging off of it, opening it up and studying its contents for a brief moment.

"Now I'll try to explain more of her internal injuries," she says, looking up from the chart.

' _There's more? I just want this to be over with already.'_

"Chloe broke 4 ribs, one of which punctured her lung causing it to collapse. Her right kidney ruptured from the impact so it was removed, but her left kidney was also pretty damaged, so she's been placed on dialysis," she says, pointing to one of the many machines behind Chloe.

She shifts slowly up to the head of the bed and stares down at Chloe's barely identifiable face. I grimace at the sight.

' _My poor, beautiful Chloe…'_ I think as the tears are freely streaming down my face now.

"She has some fractured bones in her face, which is why it's so swollen and bruised right now," she explains, lifting her hand up to remove a tuft of what remains of her red hair from her forehead. "The swelling prevented us from getting the ventilation tube down her throat, so we had to make an incision here," she says pointing to Chloe's throat where the ventilator is hooked up. "She's unable to breath on her own because…" She lets out a long sigh now, "Chloe also sustained a pretty severe brain injury…" she says softly, looking up to meet the four sets of eyes staring back at her.

Dr. Roberts walks to the corner of the room and picks up a 3D model of the brain. She walks back to Chloe's side and examines the model.

"The impact from the accident severely damaged Chloe's right temporal lobe," she says, pointing to the right side of the brain model, "but she also suffered damage as a result of a bleed here," she continues, flipping the brain over and pointing to what looks like the part that connects to the spinal cord, "at the brain stem." She pauses for a moment. "We were able to relieve the bleed and reduce the swelling to the area…"

The room is silent—except for the sounds of the numerous machines—for what feels like an eternity.

"So, what does that all mean…?" Mr. Beale asks slowly, breaking the silence.

"Well, Chloe came in here with a Glasgow Coma Scale of 3…" Dr. Roberts begins, "The Glasgow Coma Scale is a rating scale we use to determine the severity of a person's brain injury. It's based on a point system with three sub categories: eye opening, verbal response, and motor response. Chloe scored one point in each area, meaning she had no response in any of the categories…"

She pauses to meet the dazed and confused looks we all must be giving her right now.

"I don't know how else to say this, but… Chloe has no brain activity."

"I—I don't understand… she's gonna wake up, right?" I ask, my voice cracking and my hands are shaking violently.

"I'm so sorry," Dr. Roberts says, "I don't think she'll ever wake up…"

' _Oh my God, what have I done?'_

* * *

 **A/N: Some fun facts about this chapter:  
**

 **1\. I have a good background in brain injuries since I work in neuro rehab, so this was an interesting chapter for me to write.**

 **2\. That thing about the Mexicans actually happened with my mom after her surgery last week so I just HAD to add it in there :-p**

 **3\. Also, I was born and raised in Boston, so I had to add the "dirty water" making us all geniuses thing, because.. well.. duhhh ;)**

 **Back to being serious: please stick with us for this story! I promise it will not disappoint!**

 **Stay weird :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello my fellow aca-people! I just want to apologize for the super long wait (3 weeks to be exact) *cowers head in shame* Life, and especially school, got in the way. Just recently finished my research proposal and took finals and I've been sick since last weekend *sigh* lol Like I said: life. But anywho, here is chapter 5! Please read and review and let me know your thoughts! Those reviews are what drive us! And we love you all for them :-*  
**

 **Again, huge shout out to my beta friend sugarlandaddict23 for helping with all the edits and for (trying) to keep me sane during these past 3 weeks of craziness ;-P.**

 **Music in this chapter: If you don't know the song at the end, leave now ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

I can feel the muscles in my chest constrict with a force so powerful, it can't possibly be imagined. There's a silver halo starting to cloud my periphery as I reach my hands up clutching at the area my heart once was before it was impetuously ripped from my ribcage. There's a high pitched ringing resonating in my ears now, and everything else is nothing but a murmur, blending into the reverberating hum of the machines that border the room. I draw in an agonizing breath, dry and burning, that halts and catches in my throat before I can suitably fill my lungs, urging me closer to losing consciousness. I try miserably to stand, wanting to be closer to Chloe, as if it will change anything that's happened up to this point. There's a heavy, inexplicable energy—like a freezing heat—surrounding my body, working with gravity against me, drawing me down. I reach my hand out for the foot of the bed to catch myself, my depth perception failing me, missing my target, I drop to the ground.

There's a crowd of people standing over me, I can see their blurry faces through an opaque haze. Mouths are moving, but I hear nothing. I squeeze my eyes shut and throw my hands over my ears to hinder the noise to no avail. My breath is shallow and rapid. Hot tears seer the surface of my cheeks against the cool, pallid skin.

I can't stop it, the sob that's heaving its way out of the depths of my soul, and the sound is so shrill it pulls me out of slow motion in a swift jolt. I'm gasping for air now. I slowly roll to my side, not caring that I'm crushing my already broken arm, until I'm lying flat on my stomach, my cheek pressed harshly into the linoleum. The cool floor stings where my tears have marked my face, causing my eyes to water more.

The bodies surrounding me seem to have backed off, except for one: Stacie's. She's getting down on the floor next to me now, mimicking my position, gently placing her cheek onto her hands, careful not to let her face come in contact with the floor. I'm looking at her, but I don't actually see her. More like looking through her, as my breathing slows and shallows out, the sobs easing up ever so slightly. I blink my eyes three times in rapid succession, releasing a roll of tears. I avert my gaze then, bringing Stacie's gentle features into view. Still avoiding her eyes, I stare at the soft crease in her forehead where her brows seemingly reach for each other, as if they too are searching for solace.

I'm distracted when she sniffles, causing me to reflexively make eye contact with her. A single tear makes its way over the bridge of her nose, dropping down onto her hand before sliding to the tiles below. The corner of her mouth lifts slightly in an attempted smile, as if she's trying to convince me she's being strong. For who, I'm not so sure, but her eyes say otherwise.

"Hi," she whispers softly. I just blink my eyes, letting her know I'm still in here somewhere. "I'm so sorry, Beca. I'm so, so sorry…" She repeats this over and over again, her tears becoming more abundant. Her voice becomes weaker, wavering with every word, until it breaks, her body wracking with sobs.

' _Is this supposed to make me feel better?'_ I ask myself, as I watch the woman in front of me overcome with despair. It strangely does though. Makes me feel better. Seeing her like this, breaking down. I shift my position and reach out my hand to touch her, wiping the pool of tears collecting at the dip of her nose.

Stacie opens her eyes to meet mine. I smile at her gently. My own sobs have stopped now, just a gentle stream of tears to replace them. A slow river, seemingly never-ending, and I wonder when my reservoir will be depleted. Stacie reaches out her hand, taking mine from where it's tucked back under my shoulder. She lets out a shaky stream of air, attempting to even out her breaths. She blinks a few more times, then separates her lips to speak, pausing a moment before she does.

"Are you okay, Becs?" She whispers. I just stare at her for a moment, processing her words slower than I probably should. I bite the inside of my cheek and nod my head gently up and down. The look on her face, soft, yet troubled, says she doesn't believe me though. And it's as if we have an unspoken understanding that says we both know I'm not okay, as she pushes herself up into a seated position with her knees bent and feet out to the side. She pulls me up by the arm and guides me into her lap as the cries involuntarily bubble up into my throat. She lays me across her legs, holding me like an infant, enclosing her arms around me protectively. I reflexively wrap mine around her thin waist.

She's crying with me now, sniffling and whispering in my ear that we're going to be okay, but I don't believe her. Not entirely, anyway. Maybe she'll be alright in the end, but I won't. I know I won't. I cry harder, grasping a handful of Stacie's shirt into my fist, pulling my face deeper into chest. "It's okay, just let it out, Beca. Just let it all out," she says, hugging me closer, tightening her grip, and resting her cheek on the top of my head. "Just let it out," she repeats. So I do. I cry into Stacie until I can't cry anymore. I cry until my lips turn purple and my fingertips go tingly from sucking in too much oxygen. Until my head feels lighter. Until I'm completely numb…

* * *

Light blue. The color of the sky or a robin's egg. The color of the _best_ flavor of ice pops and blue hydrangeas. It's the color of salvation on a cloudless day. It's also the color of the hideous cast that is now swallowing my right arm. "Light blue, like Chloe's eyes," I said, when the orthopedic doctor asked if I wanted a color. I was giddy like a ten year old on pain meds after breaking their arm falling off their bike. I thought if I associated it with something so wonderful and perfect, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Man, was I wrong.

"Oh my God, does that look ever leave your face?" The sound of this voice makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, like a cat in stress. I look up to meet the grey-blue eyes that are peering at me, head tilted to the side, brows inching towards a bright, highlighted sea of hair, and a smirk across thin lips. Blonde curls cascade down, boxing out the woman's face.

"Aubrey," I say. Nodding my head in her direction.

"Beca," she says softly. She hesitates at the door, unsure of what to do.

"You can come in," I say after a moment too long for comfort, pointing to the chair beside my bed, "I promise not to bite." I clack my teeth together twice and send her a wink. She smiles enough to light up her dimmed eyes, bloodshot (I assume) from crying. My stomach does a slight flip flop as I remember why she's here.

"I'm glad to see you've still got your wits about you," she says, crossing the room and taking a seat next to me. I just let out a gentle laugh, and wait while she settles down into the chair. "So, how are you, Beca?" she asks, looking back to me. Her expression is a mixture of concern and curiosity. I can tell she genuinely cares.

Now, it's not that the ex-captain and I don't like each other. I mean, we were fine after ICCA's freshman year, once she left and I was sure I was never going to have to see her again. Of course, that was until I started dating Chloe. Best friends come with that territory. It was obvious that she tried when we were around each other, for the sake of Chloe. But right now, this is genuine. I can tell by the way her features are twisting and from the small glimmer of light dancing behind her eyes. I can see she really cares, and she really wants to listen to what I have to say.

"I'm fine," I quickly respond, looking back down and picking at the edges of the ugly blue cast. Okay, so I'm not good with the whole 'expressing my feelings' crap. It took me three years to get there with Chloe, I'm not about to give it all up to Aubrey after a few minutes. My Aubrey walls are much, _much_ higher than Chloe's ever were to begin with.

"Beca," she sighs, almost pleading with me.

"Aubrey, I'm _fine_ ," I spit out, looking back at her. She appears hurt by my resistance to open up, and I weirdly feel the need to fix it. "It's just a broken arm and some scrambled brain cells. I'll be alright," I add, because _obviously_ sarcasm fixes everything. I internally roll my eyes at my own response, and wait for hers. I let out the small breath I was holding as the corners of her lips break and ease upwards.

"I'm serious, Beca," she says, reaching out her hand for mine. "I mean it. How are you doing… you know, with… _everything_?" I look up at her face again as I awkwardly shift my hand beneath hers. She notes this and withdraws, but not before giving me a light squeeze. I hesitate again because, well… this is hard. This whole sharing my deepest, darkest emotions thing. "It's okay if you don't want to talk, you know… right now. I just want you to know that I'm here… when you're ready…" She sounds nervous. Not like the neurotic nervous she gets that causes her stomach to empty its contents like the exorcism of Emily Rose. No, more like an 'I'm-not-sure-what-the-hell-I'm-doing-here' kind of nervous. It's subtle. And for some reason, it's highly entertaining.

I watch intently as she shifts her position in the chair, causing it to make a rather distinct sound as her pants rub against the pleather material. I can't help it as I let out a roar of laughter when her eyes dart upwards to mine as if she was just caught coming home past curfew. Maybe it's the new meds they have me on making me loopy, or maybe this is indisputably just _that_ amusing, either way, I'm doubled over now with a serious case of the giggles.

"That was NOT me!" she cries, throwing herself forward and pointing a finger in my direction. "Oh my God! Beca, stop laughing! I didn't make that sound—it was the chair and my leg rubbed against it when I—

I wave my hand up in the air telling her to stop as I try to catch my breath. But I'm only laughing harder watching her flounder around trying to explain herself.

"I know," I say between breaths, "I know it wasn't. Dude, your face… it was so funny," I giggle a few more times as I finally settle down, my smirk still plastered across my face.

"Ugh," she scoffs. "You. Are. Insufferable." She rests her elbows on her knees, leaning forward and burying her face into her hands.

"Well I think we've already established I haven't changed a bit," I say. This response warrants a laugh from the blonde. Her face still in her hands, her body shaking gently from the silent laughter she's trying to hold in. She lifts her head, running her fingers down her face, wiping away the tears that are now forming and flowing down her cheeks. I stiffen at the sight. My face straightens out as her laugh turns to a soft whimper. She wipes frantically at the tears, smudging her mascara.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to…" She trails off and lets out a huff of air through pursed lips, puffing out her cheeks.

"Hey," I say. "It's okay…" I lean forward and reach out for her hands, trying to steady them. "Aubrey," I whisper. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you a hard time…" She lets out a soft laugh.

"No, it's not that—it's not you. God, I look so ridiculous," she says, taking a tissue from her purse and wiping her nose. I look back down to my hands and shuffle with my fingers, picking at the already chipping nail polish.

"Want some drugs?" I ask, looking back up wearing my signature, devilish grin. "They have me on the good stuff right now… you know, after my _minor_ freak out last weekend," I say with a wink and a click of my tongue. I lean back into the bed and look up to the ceiling. "God forbid you react to the news that your girlfriend might be brain dead…" I mumble, barely audible.

"Is it Xanax? Because I'm already on that." I purse my lips to the side and furrow my brows, trying to stifle the laugh rising in my throat.

"Yeah, not the response I was expecting…" She raises her brow at me.

"Oh come on, Beca. You have met me, right? I'm strung higher than the lights on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center," she quips, and I let out that laugh, unable to contain it anymore.

"Good one, Posen." She smiles back.

' _This is nice'_ , I think. We've never been alone in a room together and actually gotten more than two words in edgewise without some sort of wisecrack from the other woman. But then again, I could count the times we've been left alone to our own devices on one hand. Make that two fingers. And those two times were during my freshman year when she would come to Chloe's room to talk aca-stuff and I just happened to be in there. The first time Chloe left to get a drink and the second time to use the bathroom. Neither of those times were we left alone for more than a few minutes and it usually ended with some string of insults from either Aubrey or myself. But, right now, we've made it through a semi-normal conversation that's only been a _tiny_ bit uncomfortable.

Aubrey shifts awkwardly again and I realize she probably has something to say.

"Beca, listen… I—

She's cut off by a light knocking on the door as Chloe's mom pokes her head around the corner.

"Hey, Beca?" she starts, "I was hoping we could—oh, Aubrey!" she exclaims, pushing the door open and walking inside.

"Holly. Hi," Aubrey says with a little more pep in her tone. She stands from her seat and walks to the end of my bed where she meets Mrs. Beale and pulls her into a rather large hug.

"I didn't know you were here. When did you get in?" Holly asks, pulling away from Aubrey, holding her shoulders at arm's length so she can get a good look at her.

"Oh, I just got in about two hours ago. I came straight here."

My ears prickle with heat. Did Aubrey come see me before anyone else?

"I told you we wouldn't mind picking you up."

"It's not a problem. I figured I'd rent a car while I'm in town anyway. I plan to visit my brother at Ft. Benning before I head back to New York, and that's a bit of a hike from here."

"Well, I'm glad you could make it." Mrs. Beale smiles at Aubrey. They share a moment, making small talk about her brother, that's broken by yet another knock on the door as Mr. Beale walks in.

"Aubrey," he says, arms open.

"John, it's so nice to see you," Aubrey says, breaking her contact with Holly and burying herself into Mr. Beale's embrace. "I'm sorry it has to be under these circumstances," she whispers, muffled by the thickness of John's sweater. But I heard it nonetheless, and my stomach twists in knots again as I close my eyes and press my finger tips to my temples. I gently massage in circles and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and maybe a little exaggerated, getting the attention of the group enthralled in their little family reunion. An awkward silence settles over the room again and I feel like I can actually hear that hypothetical pin drop from three rooms down.

I open my eyes to see them shuffling around to find somewhere to sit. Aubrey offers her seat to Mrs. Beale taking the roller chair for herself, and Mr. Beale just plops himself down at the end of my bed. I watch him as he plays with his wedding band, circling his finger over and over. I avert my eyes to Holly's when she finally speaks up, breaking the silence.

"Beca, we wanted to come and talk to you…together." She reaches out for my hand that's now resting by my side and takes one of Aubrey's with the other.

I look to Aubrey seeking some kind of support as to what is happening, but she just looks down at her lap, a slight blush creeping onto the top of her cheeks that are visible, as if she's aware of what's coming.

"Beca," Holly says again, regaining my attention, "it's about Chloe… and what we should do." She looks at me questioningly, as if I have all the answers. And now I'm confused.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, I think we should talk about… about our options…" she trails off. And it's quiet for a moment. A moment that feels like it goes on forever.

"Annndd those are…?" I ask slowly, not sure I'm ready for the answer, or that I even want one.

"Well we," she pauses and looks up to meet John's gaze who just nods for her to continue. "We could… keep waiting, or we could… talk about, you know… letting her go…" I look at her hard. _Really_ hard. This is Chloe we're talking about, right? _My_ Chloe Beale?

"Why would that even be an option?" I hiss out, feeling the heat rise against the back of my neck.

"Beca, we've been talking with Dr. Rogers and the prognosis isn't good," Mr. Beale cuts in.

"So we're just gonna give up on her?! Just like that?!" I'm frantically trying to sit up and release myself from Holly's grip on my hand. "She's my girlfriend—she's your daughter!" I shout. "How could you give up on your own daughter?" I ask, my voice cracking. My breathing is erratic and I'm having trouble catching it.

Aubrey stands up and walks over to the bed, placing her hand gently on my shoulder. I look at her, then to her hand, and back to her. My breathing slows and I realize her contact is oddly comforting.

"Beca, it's okay," she says in a hushed tone. "They're just bringing up all of the options so that everything's out on the table. This isn't a done deal. Do you understand?" She's peering down at me, waiting for an answer, but all I can do is nod, and blink away the tears. She lifts her hand and uses her thumb to wipe them. "Hey, look at me." I can't. "Beca," she says tilting my face up towards hers. I open my eyes. "We're just talking, okay? Nothing is set in stone. Just getting it all out there so there's no surprises." I nod my head in agreement.

Aubrey leans in, and for the first time in the history of our relationship, she hugs me. Like really hugs me. And I lean into it because I need it. I feel comforted by her embrace, as the tears quietly stream down my cheeks again.

Then it dawns on me. Why she came to see me first before anybody else. She was trying to warn me that this was coming. She was… helping me? No, protecting me. And of course Aubrey would be the voice of reason here. I just never thought she'd be mine.

And just like that, my Aubrey walls are knocked down ever so slightly.

* * *

Stacie pulls the car into the driveway and puts it in park. I stare blankly at the big "B" on the front of the house as she turns the key in the ignition and the engine comes to a halt, an even deeper silence taking over the one before it.

"I'll bring your stuff inside," Stacie says, reaching over the seat to grab my small bag of belongings I accrued over the last two weeks of being stuck in that hell-hole. I shrug away and shake my head.

"No, it's okay. I can do it," I say, and I turn to stare at the cursive font "B" again. It looks so prestigious. _'False advertising,'_ I think with a smirk.

"Okay," she sighs, "well I'm going inside. Just come in… when you're ready…" I nod my head but keep my gaze on the side of the house.

I'm not sure what I'm staring at really, but I know what I'm avoiding, and so does Stacie. That's why she's not pushing me or prying. And I appreciate that. I appreciate everything she's done for me up to this point. She's been more than understanding and patient with me and I just wish I was better at showing her how thankful I am for that.

But right now, my mind is focused on the side of that damn house. Because inside that house, there's a room that I call mine, but it's not just mine. It's Chloe's too. And Chloe isn't there—won't be there when I walk in. That room has all of my things in it. It also has Chloe's things. It has my desk, it has Chloe's desk. It has my bed, and Chloe's bed. It has _our_ things in it because it's _our_ room.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My eyelids are heavy, reminding me that I've barely slept in the last two weeks. So, I hold them closed for a little while and let my mind drift.

I think about the first time I saw Chloe, red hair blazing from across the courtyard at the activities fair. She caught my eye almost immediately, and I knew she was something special. I think back to when she barged into my shower, stark naked, and forced me to sing with her, and the way she locked eyes with me when I sang at auditions. I think back to how close we came to kissing at the initiation party, and the way she wiggled her hips before running off to Tom again. I remember the hurt in her eyes when she admitted she had nodes (even though I was unsure of what those even were), and again when she confessed to having them removed over spring break. I remember the pain on her face when I fought with Aubrey and stormed out on everyone. And that broke my heart the most.

I reach up to wipe the lone tear that escaped down my cheek and open my eyes to meet the mocking stare of the giant "B" yet again. I sigh and undo my seatbelt, then push the door open with my unsightly cast. I crawl out slowly and throw the bag over my shoulder, slamming the door beside me and stand to look at the front of the house. I hesitate for a minute, take a deep breath, and then force myself to move forward.

As I approach the door, I can hear the muffled sounds of voices behind it. I assume all the girls are there to welcome me home and my heart falls into the pit of my stomach. I'm not ready or willing to participate in whatever is waiting for me behind that door. I hold my hand on the door knob for a minute, waiting for the voices to stop. But they don't. So, I turn the knob and use all of my body weight to push it open, eyes closed, and brace myself for whatever is about to come at me. But nothing does. I hear a whisper for someone to "go away" and then the scurrying of feet. I close the door slowly and rest my head on it until I hear it click.

When I turn around, I see only Stacie and a reluctant looking Emily standing in the living room. Stacie's glaring at the side of Em's face, but the younger brunette is just looking down at her feet. She turns to walk out of the room, but then stops, quickly shuffles over to me, and wraps her arms around me.

"I'm so glad you're home, Beca," she whispers in my ear and quickly releases me, turning and practically running out of the room. I look up to see Stacie standing in the middle of the living room.

"I'm sorry. I told them to just act normal and to leave you alone," she says, pointing her thumb in the direction the younger girl just ran off to, I assume with the other Bellas.

I smile at the brunette as my way of saying 'thank you' for knowing exactly what I needed in that moment. I look up at the stairs, knowing my room is just up them to the left. I take another deep breath and make my way up.

I stop just as I reach the door to my room—our room. I slowly open it and reach in to turn the lights on. I walk in with tunnel vision, drop my bag on my bed, and settle into my computer chair. I can't get myself to look over to Chloe's side just yet, so I sit at my desk and fiddle with the random things on it. I pick up a pen and start tracing my name on a piece of paper.

"Becs?" Stacie asks, as she knocks lightly on the door. I just pause my movements and hum to acknowledge her, but I never look up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." She hovers at the door for a minute or two. Time is no concept to me lately.

"Hey," she says, "if you need to, you can sleep in my room, you know, if you're not comfortable staying in here. I can take the couch for a while. I don't mind." I swing myself around now to see her nervously toying with her hands behind her back and kicking some imaginary object around the floor with the toe of her shoe.

"That's not necessary, Stace," I say. "She's not dead. She's just not here." This statement causes Stacie's head to jerk up, and steals me out of my own funk. It's true, though. She isn't dead. Chloe is still very much alive, and acting like she isn't won't help her wake up. But I think I know what might. I catch a glimpse of my guitar in the corner and stand to retrieve it. "Hey Stace?" I ask, stopping her in her tracks as she's starting to walk away.

"Uh, yeah, Becs?" she asks, swinging back around.

"Is it true that people in a coma can hear what's happening around them? Like when people talk to them?"

"Um, yeah, sure. It's been said that they might be able to hear some things. I've even heard stories where people wake up and can say word for word what someone had said to them while they were out," she replies.

"Cool," I say, unzipping the flimsy case on my guitar, pulling out just the neck to inspect the strings. "I need you to take me back to the hospital."

"Beca, we just got home. I have to leave for class in an hour—

"Well then give me the keys," I say holding out my hand.

"No. Dr. Rogers said you shouldn't drive for a while, you know that."

"Then get your ass in the car and bring me back to the hospital, or I _will_ drive myself."

She stares at me long and hard for a few seconds, then huffs and spins on her heels and starts down the stairs. She stops halfway and calls back to me.

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for, Mitchell? Let's go!"

I'm wearing a smile I haven't worn in weeks as I zip up my guitar and rush down the stairs and out the door.

* * *

I knock on the door to room 555, even though I know no one is in there besides Chloe. I poke my head around the corner and get a glimpse of her sleeping. _'That's all it is. She's just sleeping,'_ I tell myself.

I close the door gently behind me, as if I'm trying not to wake her. But isn't that the whole reason I'm here? To try and wake her?

I walk up to the chair next to her bed and lean my guitar against it on the floor. I move over to her and brush a flyaway strand of red hair from her face. The bruises are changing their colors and the swelling's gone down some. She's starting to look more and more like my Chloe every day. I smile down at her, and run my fingertips over her eyelids, brushing her long lashes. Gently, I make my way down the bridge of her nose, and slowly move down to touch her lips. They're cracked from lack of moisture, but yet, still just as soft as I remember them. I lean down and kiss them sweetly, lingering for a split second, not nearly long enough.

I head back to the chair and pick up my guitar, unzipping the bag and pulling it out. I sit down and start tweaking with the strings, realizing it's a lot harder than I was anticipating with the plaster cast I'm sporting on my fret hand. I sit for a while playing with the strings, and attempt at playing some chords, trying to position my arm just right to accommodate for the lack of motion at my wrist.

I've finally found just the right position, and it's extremely uncomfortable, but it works. I'm hunched over to the right like the hunchback of Notre Dame with my shoulder exaggeratedly depressed downwards to try and compensate. I strum out a few more chords for practice.

I've got just the song in mind, and I'm hoping Chloe hears me. Even if she doesn't wake up today, I pray she remembers this moment if… no, _when_ she finally does open those pretty blue eyes.

"I've never been great with putting my feelings into words. You of all people know that," I say, looking up to Chloe now. "So I'm hoping you understand the meaning behind what I'm about to sing for you." I clear my throat. "This one's for you, Chlo." I start strumming the intro slowly, taking my time to make sure I hit each chord just right.

" _You shout it out, but I can't hear a word you say,_

 _I'm talking loud, not saying much,_

 _You criticize, but all your bullets ricochet,_

 _You shoot me down, but I get up,_

 _I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose,_

 _Fire away, fire away,_

 _Ricochet, you take your aim,_

 _Fire away, fire away,_

 _You shoot me down, but I won't fall,_

 _I am titanium,_

 _You shoot me down, but I won't fall,_

 _I am titanium,"_

"Shit," I mutter, when I stumble with the transition to the next chord. I fix my posture, and redeem myself in time for the next verse.

" _Cut me down,_

 _But it's you who'll have further to fall,_

 _Ghost town and haunted love,_

 _You raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones,_

 _I'm talking loud, not saying much,_

' _Cause I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose,_

 _Fire away, fire away,_

 _Ricochet, you take your aim,_

 _Fire away, fire away,_

 _You shoot me down, but I won't fall,_

 _I am titanium,_

 _You shoot me down, but I won't fall,_

 _I am titanium,"_

I look up to Chloe now, as I continue strumming thinking that I saw something. It's so sudden, I'm not sure if it was real. I shake my head. My eyes must be playing tricks on me. But, then it happens again. I stop strumming now and hold my breath. Was it… did she just… twitch? Oh my God. Her fingers _moved_! It was small, but it was definitely there.

I stand up abruptly, dropping my guitar to the floor, practically breaking it in the process.

"Nurse!" I call out as I race for the door. "Nurse! Somebody! Come quick!"

* * *

 ***Gasp* Could it be?! Until next time ;)**

 **Stay weird!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here it is my fellow aca-people! The long awaited, and EXTREMELY over due Chapter 6 of LIGLY! I just want to apologize for making you all wait so long, but I hope the fact that it's a couple thousand words longer than my past chapters will be a good way in making it up to you :) Life just gets in the way sometimes (mostly grad school), so I hope you can understand and forgive me...**

 **Shout out to my awesome beta as usual, sugarlandaddict23, for keeping me grounded and guiding me in finishing this chapter without being over bearing. She's been nothing but understanding and amazing, so thank you!**

 **Songs used in this chapter:**

 **-Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer (this one I used my creative license and tweaked a little to fit the story better)**

 **-Don't Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers Acoustic Cover by Marielle Kraft ( HIGHLY recommend checking this one out on YouTube. She's great and you'll really get a feel for how I want the song to be portrayed in the story, since the original is an upbeat EDM song).**

 **Please stick with us for this fic! We have really great plans for it!**

 **Enjoy :)**

* * *

"I think she's waking up!" I shout, as Dr. Roberts rushes into the room. I hurry to the other side of the bed and hold onto Chloe's cold hand.

"Well, tell me exactly what happened," Dr. Roberts says as she takes her light pen out from her coat pocket.

"I was playing a song for her and her hand twitched… twice. I saw it happen." My hands are timid as I run my fingers gently up and down Chloe's, locking eyes with the doctor across from me. "Twice," I repeat.

Dr. Roberts breaks eye contact and takes a deep breath, turning to look at Chloe now. "Okay… well, let's take a look." She pries open each of Chloe's eyelids and shines the light inside. I'm not sure what is supposed to happen or what she's even looking for. But I'm just desperately hoping something is there. She straightens herself up and takes a small step away from the bed. She looks back up to me. Her eyes appear sad and her face is straight.

"So? Is she… is she waking up? Is something happening?" I ask frantically, trying to better read her expression.

"Beca," she says softly. "I don't—

"What's going on?" I jerk my head towards the door as Aubrey, John, and Holly walk through it holding cups of coffee. "Is everything okay?" Holly asks.

"Yes, Mrs. Beale, everything is alright," Dr. Roberts responds, straightening her posture and placing her hands on either end of the stethoscope that's wrapped around her neck, shifting her weight to her left side. I eye her suspiciously, wondering why she's not telling them what is really happening. I turn to look at the group of people standing at the end of the bed now.

"Chloe moved. Her hand _twitched_. She might be waking up. Right?" I ask looking back to Dr. Roberts.

"What?! Are you serious? You saw it?!" Aubrey practically screeches as she walks to the side of the bed next to me and reaches out to touch Chloe's arm.

"Is this true? Could she be coming to?" John asks.

The doctor sucks in a deep breath and looks down at Chloe's gentle, sleeping features.

"She's still unresponsive. So, unfortunately, no. I don't think she's waking up."

A rush of heat washes over me. A look of confusion settles on my face.

"But… she _moved_ ," I press. "She can't move if she's brain dead!"

"Beca, I'm sorry, but she's not waking up," she says sternly.

"No. You're wrong." I sniffle and try to choke back the tears I can feel coming to the surface. "But… I saw it." I look down to Chloe's sleeping form, my eyes burning. "She's waking up…" I wrap my fingers around her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "…she has to wake up," I whisper.

"I'm sorry, Beca," she says softly. I feel Aubrey's arm slip around my shoulders and the vibrations from her gentle hum tickle my side. "Things like this have been known to happen. Actually, in about 39% of cases similar to Chloe's," Dr. Roberts says, her voice calm and steady. "The twitching is just a spontaneous movement. It's not entirely understood why it happens, it just does. That's not to say she'll never wake up though, we just can't be sure right now. I just need you to understand the reality of the situation and I can't emphasize it enough: the chances of Chloe coming out of this are highly unlikely." She shuffles nervously beside the bed and moves her hands from the stethoscope down into the deep pockets of her dingy white coat.

I shake my head side to side in disbelief. I refuse to believe that this is it for her. That she'll never wake up. She has to. We have the World's competition to win in a few months. I haven't even finished the new set list, let alone assign parts for melodies and harmonies. We don't have any choreography down and I definitely can't do _that_ myself. That's always been Chloe's job.

We need her. _I_ need her.

Dr. Roberts exits the room, leaving me to the wolves yet again, Chloe's mom wasting no time in speaking up.

"Beca, we should really talk about—

"I'm not having this conversation right now, Holly. Please don't make me do this again." Aubrey's grip on my shoulders tightens.

"Becs, come on. Give her a chance to say what she needs to say," Aubrey half whispers into my ear. I close my eyes and grind my teeth together hard. Aubrey pinches my shoulder trying to get a reaction.

"Fine," I breathe out. Aubrey releases me from her grip and gives me an apologetic look, mouthing a 'thank you' before taking a seat in one of the chairs behind us. I walk over and pick up my guitar off the floor and begin to put it back into its case.

"So, we were talking over lunch today, and we're just not sure how much longer it would make sense to keep this going," Holly begins. She looks nervously in my direction, but I avoid making eye contact while I continue putting the instrument away. I lock my jaw, biting down so hard the muscles begin to cramp. My lack of response seems to ease her tensions ever so slightly as her shoulders relax. "I just—we don't think this is what Chloe would want. To be kept alive by these… these… _machines_ ," she says motioning to the plethora of equipment along the back walls. My eyes dart upwards to hers and the muscles in my jaw loosen, releasing a hiss of words.

"How would you know what Chloe wants? When was the last time you asked her? When was the last time you had _this_ conversation with her?" I ask, my gaze fixed hard on Holly's.

"Well, ha—have you? Have you ever had this conversation with her?" Her eyes are soft and her voice waivers slightly, genuine curiosity in her tone. I shake my head and look down to my feet, place the base of my guitar onto the top of my foot, and toy with the zipper.

"I never thought this would be something we would need to talk about…" I let out an exasperated groan and throw my hand to my side when I can't get the damn zipper over the tuners.

"Beca, honey, we're not trying to ambush you here. We just think this is something that needs to be discussed," John chimes in. "And you're just as much a part of Chloe's life as we all are. Your input matters to us." He walks to my side and takes the guitar from me, helping me with the zipper. I give in and let him do it. He places his other hand on my arm and guides me to the other chair, motioning for me to sit.

"I know. I'm sorry," I say, as I settle into the chair. "It's just… she's just… she could still pull through. I just think it's too soon to make such a radical decision right now…"

"I know this is hard to talk about and I know it's even harder to think about, but look at her, Beca," Aubrey says, her gaze on Chloe. So I do. I look right at her. "There's nothing there…" I close my eyes and bite my lip, trying to fight back the tears, but I fail miserably.

"I just… I need more time," I mumble.

"Okay," Chloe's mom whispers back. "That's okay…"

Quietly, her parents rise from their spots and leave the room. Aubrey, who's sitting an arm's length to my left, keeps her eyes fixed on Chloe. She's sitting at the edge of the seat, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. She begins to fiddle with her fingers, bending and cracking an occasional knuckle. The all-encompassing silence is becoming too much for me to bear, but I have nothing to say to break it. Literally nothing.

Aubrey shifts beside me and takes a deep breath, casting her eyes to the floor.

"I—I'm sorry I was so harsh before… with what I said about…" she trails off, her voice raspy. I look at her sideways and crease my brow.

"It's 'iight," I shrug, immediately regretting it. I'm just so bad with this 'social interaction' thing, especially when it involves feelings. And _especially_ when those feelings include my own. ' _Redeem yourself, Mitchell.'_ "I'm sorry, too. For everything. Ya know… all of this." I motion to our surroundings. Aubrey looks up to me now because words are just flowing out and this is something she's clearly not used to coming from me. "I just hate all of it. And I feel—no, I know—this is all my fault…"

"No, Beca. Don't do that. Don't you dare do that to yourself."

"Aubrey, please. Don't give me the whole 'this isn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up over it' spiel. I've gotten it enough already. And yes, it is my fault." My voice is rising with irritation. I'm sick of everyone trying to protect me here. " _I_ was driving that car. _I_ ran that red light. _I_ was the one not paying attention." The tears are forming in my eyes again. "I lied to her, Aubrey. I kept things from her and she found out. That's why we were fighting. Because _I'm_ an idiot," I throw my face into my hands and begin to sob.

"Nope. Uh uh. I refuse to let you do this to yourself. Get up." Aubrey rises from her seat and stands in front of me. "Come on. Get up!" she shouts, kicking the leg of my chair, causing me to jump.

"What? Why?" I ask, my sobs faltering.

"I said 'Get. Up!'" she yells, startling me again. "Fall in line, Bella!"

"Oh my God, okay!" I follow orders, wiping the tears from my face, and get to my feet. She gets real close to the side of my face as if this were a Bella's practice and I just messed up a harmony we've been working on for weeks.

"Who are you?!" she yells. "I said 'who are you!?'" she yells again when I don't answer in time.

"Wait, seriously?" I turn to look at her now, but the expression on her face answers that question. I face forward again. "I'm Beca Mitchell!" I yell back.

"And what are you?"

"I'm… a Bella?" I question, looking to her for confirmation, unsure if this is what she's even asking.

"What are you?!" She shouts again, easing my confusion.

"I'm a Bella!" I say with more confidence this time.

"And are Bella women weak?"

"No!"

"Well then cut the shit. For real, Mitchell, it's not flattering. Even for you, Ms. I-hate-the-world." She says in an even tone, causing me to do a double take. She plops herself back down into her chair and lifts her knees up, dropping her right leg over the arm.

I hesitate for a second, but when she doesn't react to me staring at her, I decide it's safe and slide back into my own chair.

"Well that was a lot of build-up for an uneventful finish," I say, rolling my eyes. She giggles softly beside me.

"I just don't have the energy to fully be myself right now," she responds.

"You mean, no more Drill Sergeant Aubrey?!" I gasp playfully, nudging her hanging foot. She shakes her head side to side and smiles gently.

I take a split second to look her over. She looks frail and sickly. Giant dark circles accentuate her eyes above her protruding cheek bones. It's obvious she hasn't been eating or sleeping much lately. I guess I can't really blame her.

Wanting desperately to change the subject, I lean back into the chair and wrack my brain for something. Anything. _'Come on, Mitchell. Don't be awkward.'_ I clear my throat.

"I, um… I get the cast off in a couple weeks." I look down at the ugly thing. "Might have to do therapy or something, since it's like… weaker, I guess." Aubrey just nods her head up and down. I'm not sure she's even listening to me.

"I broke my arm once," she pipes up. _'Oh, thank God. I'm not talking to myself,'_ I think. "When I was in high school. The drama club put on a production of Peter Pan and I played the role of Wendy. They actually had us hooked up to harnesses and wires so we could 'fly,'" she says, using finger quotes, rolling her eyes. I smile because _of course_ she was a theater nerd. "Anyway, on the final night of any show we always had this ongoing thing where we would adlib lines, or try to throw each other off. Play random jokes on each other. Joe, the kid who played Peter, was supposed to catch me when I 'fell' from the window sill. It was honestly like a two-foot drop to the floor, but Joe thought it would be funny to let me go. They usually only gave the wires enough slack for me to fall into his arms, so he thought it would stop me, but the ding-a-ling in charge of that wasn't paying attention. By the time I realized he wasn't going to catch me, I had just enough time to throw my hands out behind me. I had a nice fracture right up my radius here," she says pointing to the thumb side of her forearm on her left side and dragging her finger from her wrist to about halfway up her arm. "I didn't get an ugly color for my cast though," she mutters, the corners of her lips raising in her attempt not to laugh.

"Did you pick black, like your soul?" I retort with a smirk, and we both start laughing.

"To be honest, I thought _you_ would've picked black, being the tiny alt girl you are…"

"Hey, in my defense, I was really high on pain meds… so like, yeah. That." She just laughs at me again and rests her head into the back of her chair.

"If you say so, Mitchell." She closes her eyes and we both fall into a comfortable silence.

* * *

I walk into Chloe's room with my backpack on and my guitar slung over my left shoulder. I place the guitar in the corner and toss my backpack onto the ground next to the chair. Scooting the seat so I'm close enough to Chloe's bed where I can reach out and touch her, I sit down and pull my bag onto my lap, pulling out my **Fundamentals of Neuroscience** book.

I went back to school last week and have a lot of catching up to do if I still want to graduate on time. I've come to the realization that it might not be entirely possible at this rate, but I'm sure as hell going to try. If not for myself, then for Chloe.

I crack open the book to this week's reading assignment: **Chapter 15-The Brain Stem**. I subconsciously reach out and begin to stroke Chloe's fingers as I stare at the page for a while before actually starting to read. I remember Dr. Roberts saying something about Chloe having damage to this area of her brain. Now, maybe I'm having trouble initiating because I don't want to do my homework right now, or maybe I just don't want to learn something I'm positive I don't want to know regarding Chloe's state, but I just can't seem to get myself to begin.

"Jesus, Mitchell, where have your balls gone?" I ask myself. I sigh heavily and force myself to read out loud. This is a technique I was taught by my speech therapist in second grade when I was diagnosed with dyslexia. It's helped tremendously because I can hear the way I'm reading the words and if it doesn't sound right, I know I have to read it over again.

"Okay, what have we got here... _'The brainstem is superior to the spinal cord and inferior to the cerebrum, with the cerebellum appended posteriorly. From inferior to superior, the parts of the brainstem are the medulla, pons, and midbrain. The connection of cranial nerves with the brainstem follows a 2-4-4 rule.'_ —Jesus Christ. What the hell did I just read?" I know this has nothing to do with my dyslexia, I just genuinely have no idea what it's talking about.

I lose interest rather quickly and begin to flip through the pages. I'm reading over some of the 'Clinical Pearls' that the professor said will most likely, almost always be on our tests, when one of the headings catches my eye: **Disorder of Consciousness.** _"_ Hmm," I hum as I begin to read aloud again. " _'States of altered consciousness may occur with lesions affecting the brainstem or cerebrum, because structures in both regions are required for consciousness.'_ Blah, blah, blah. Yadda, yadda, yadda. _'A disconnection syndrome, called_ locked-in syndrome _, may mimic the signs of impaired consciousness. In locked-in syndrome, consciousness is intact, but damage to upper motor neurons prevents the person from voluntarily moving…_ '" I re-read that last sentence again to make sure I fully comprehend. "Wait… holy shit. What if… Dr. Roberts!" I call, standing abruptly, dropping the book to the floor with a crash, running for the door. "Dr. Roberts!"

"What?! What is it? What's going on?" She asks, breathless from racing down the hallway. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah… yeah, everything's fine." I answer, the smile on my face growing. "I just… I was reading, and came across… what if… what if Chloe has locked-in syndrome? What if she's still in there and she's totally fine she just can't tell us?" I rush out. Dr. Robert's looks at me as if she's possibly considering it, then shakes her head side to side.

"Beca, that's simply not possible. There's no pupil reaction when I shine the light in her eyes. If she had locked-in syndrome, she'd be able to at least open her eyes and be able to blink. That's how people with that syndrome typically communicate: through blinking."

"Oh," I say, feeling defeated, yet again.

"Beca," she says, reaching out and touching my arm. "Look, you should put the books down for a while. Take a break. Maybe sing her another one of your songs. Don't give up, yet. She could still be in there somewhere. I know I keep telling you otherwise, but I truly admire your perseverance and sense of hope. Please don't ever lose that. No matter what happens." A dainty half-smile flashes across her face and she turns to leave the room.

I sigh again, heavier than before. I'm not going to cry now. I've been brought down so many times over the past few weeks that I'm so numb to the emotion. But, I don't even want to cry right now. Nope. This time, I feel sick. Genuinely sick to my stomach, because I'm out of options here. I'm running out of ways to convince myself that this isn't the end. That's all I'm doing, right? This charade I've been running is solely for my own selfish purposes. I'm so hung up on the fact that I don't want to live without Chloe that I've never stopped to think about what she would actually want.

This has never come up in conversation before. I'm not even sure how that would go down. Like 'Hey Beca.' 'Hey Chloe.' 'If I'm ever in a coma, I would want you to pull the plug?' That just doesn't sound like a typical Chloe topic of discussion. Usually those were about what she was learning in her classes, or what songs we should do for the set list, or asking what the hell Amy was talking about at practice the day before (the latter tends to happen more often than not).

So, what would Chloe want? Would she want us to just give up on her and let her go? Would she want us to hold on and pray she makes it through? Would she wants us to keep her hooked up to these machines like some sort of computer? Or, would she want us to ease her pain and suffering so that she can go peacefully to wherever it is you go when you die?

I pick up the book off of the floor and go to stuff it back into my backpack. Maybe Dr. Rogers is right, that's enough reading for today. Before putting it into my bag, I rub my fingers over the word _'Neuroscience'_ on the glossy cover. I can't help but smile to myself at how ironic it is I happen to be taking this class, given the circumstances. I didn't even want to take it, really. I had no choice. I've been putting off taking a stupid science elective for the past three years and the brain just seems so interesting. It sounded like the only class I would even slightly enjoy. But now, I'm not so sure about that. Now it's just a constant reminder while sitting through the monotonous 50 minute lecture followed by the 2 hour lab (which is mostly just dissecting cow brains and written activities) that my girlfriend is sitting in this hospital bed clinging to life. I can't lie, it's interesting learning about the brain and how it functions. It's just when we get to talking about what can go wrong and what happens when that precious organ is damaged in some way, shape, or form that really gets to me.

I shake my head and continue what I was doing, putting the book into my bag. I place it next to me and then tap my fingers on the arm of the chair. _'What do I do now?'_ I ask myself. A loaded question, like a double-edged sword.

I settle on playing another song for Chloe, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I can get another reaction out of her like I did a couple of weeks ago. This song I wrote myself last week after learning about amnesia in class and how a person's memory can be affected. I had still been tweaking some of the chords around, but I think I have it all down now.

I walk to the corner and grab my guitar from its place. I take it out and plop myself back into the seat, settling just at the edge. I fiddle with a few chords and begin to strum into the beginning of the song:

" _I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted,_

 _I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted,_

 _And even though I'm still convinced you're doing fine,_

 _And you're somewhere feeling lonely even though I'm right beside you,_

 _When I say those words that hurt you, do you hear the ones I wrote you?_

 _Sometimes I start to wonder, is it just a lie?_

 _If what we have is real, how can you not be fine?_

' _Cause I'm not fine at all,_

 _I remember the day I thought that you were leaving,_

 _I remember the makeup running down your face,_

 _And the dreams you left behind, you didn't need them,_

 _Like every single wish we ever made,_

 _I wish that I could wake up with amnesia,_

 _And forget about the stupid little things,_

 _Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you,_

 _And the memories I never can escape,_

' _Cause I'm not fine at all…_

 _The pictures that you sent me, they're still living in my phone,_

 _I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone,_

 _All our friends keep asking why I'm not around,_

 _It hurts to see you like this, it'll hurt when you move on,_

 _It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long,_

 _It's like we never happened, is it just a lie?_

 _If what we have is real, how can you not be fine?_

' _Cause I'm not fine at all,_

 _I remember the day I thought that you were leaving,_

 _I remember the makeup running down your face,_

 _And the dreams you left behind, you didn't need them,_

 _Like every single wish we ever made,_

 _I wish that I could wake up with amnesia,_

 _And forget about the stupid little things,_

 _Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you,_

 _And the memories I never can escape._

 _If today I woke up with you right beside me,_

 _Like all of this was just some twisted dream,_

 _I'd hold you closer than I ever did before,_

 _And you'd never slip away,_

 _And you'd never hear me say:_

 _I remember the day I thought that you were leaving,_

 _I remember the makeup running down your face,_

 _And the dreams you left behind, you didn't need them,_

 _Like every single wish we ever made,_

 _I wish that I could wake up with amnesia,_

 _And forget about the stupid little things,_

 _Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you,_

 _And the memories I never can escape,_

' _Cause, I'm not fine at all,_

 _No, I'm really not fine at all,_

 _Tell me this is just a dream,_

' _Cause, I'm really not fine at all…"_

Finishing the song, I put the guitar down and reach out to touch Chloe's hand. I feel like I'm grabbing hold of a metal railing in the middle of an arctic freeze. She's so _cold_. I place her frail hand in between mine and rub in an attempt to warm them up in some way. As I stand, I lift her hand to my lips and press a slow, gentle kiss to the back. Then, I kiss the tips of each icy finger while counting the reasons why I love her in my mind:

 _*kiss*_ _'One: your ability to light up any room the second you walk into it.'_

 _*kiss* 'Two: your gorgeous blue eyes."_

 _*kiss* 'Three: the way your smile brightens your whole face.'_

 _*kiss* 'Four: your insane desire to make everyone around you happy.'_

 _*kiss* 'And last, but not least: the way you make me fall head over heels in love with you all over again every single day.'_

I lightly place her hand back down onto the bed, maybe a half a degree warmer than it was before. I lean down and softly press my lips to the side of her forehead just above her eye.

"I love you, Chloe," I whisper, hovering above her face. "I'll be okay. I promise."

I turn from my spot and begin to gather the rest of my belongings before having to head down to the 2nd floor for my appointment with the ortho. I turn to look at her again before I leave. For the first time, I see what really lies in front of me. And it's now, in this moment that I just… _know_.

* * *

I sit inspecting my newly de-casted arm. I wasn't sure it was possible to get any whiter than I already am, but I've somehow managed to do it. There's a distinct line of super pale skin where the cast once was. I rub over my arm a few times and wince at the feeling of the metal screws as I brush over them. The muscles in my already frail and tiny arms have atrophied slightly from disuse, causing the metal to protrude more than they should. It's creepy and just downright gross.

"Is everything alright?" a tired voice croaks out followed by a yawn. I turn to see Stacie stretching in my doorway in her super short, purple satin shorts and matching lace, spaghetti strap top. I will never understand why she gets dressed up to sleep.

"Yeah," I say, catching her yawn. "Everything's fine. Just testing out the bionic arm." I open and close my hand like a claw.

"Did you get _any_ sleep last night?" she asks. Ugh. She sounds like my mother.

"Umm.. sure," I answer, turning in my chair and opening up my laptop.

"Beca…"

"Yes, Stacie, I got some sleep last night." I sit and untangle the knot that's somehow developed itself in my headphone wires.

"Really? Because it's 5 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday and you were wide awake when I crashed at two." I roll my eyes into the depths of my skull. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Mitchell." I spin myself back around to face her with a smirk on my face and eyebrow raised. "Yeah, I might be pretty, but I'm not stupid," she says. I crack a small smile.

"Are you still drunk? I don't listen to drunks."

"What? No, I'm not still drunk. I only had a few drinks at the bar and drank water most of the night. I was DD tonight so I—I don't know why I even bother explaining myself to you," she says, throwing her hands up and letting them crash back down against her bare thighs, after realizing I've already stuck my headphones in. I haven't turned the music on yet, but she doesn't know that.

Stacie walks over to my bed and heaves herself down into the pillows, pulling the blankets over her legs. I can hear her teeth chatter together as she lets out a shiver. I turn my chair to look at her.

"Ya know, you wouldn't be so cold if you just put more clothes on." I wink in her direction.

"Shut up."

"I'm just saying," I respond with a giggle.

We sit in silence for a few minutes. She appears to be sleeping. I mindlessly rub my finger over one of the screws in my arm.

"You should have come out last night with all the girls. We missed you," she says, never opening her eyes.

"Yeah, I just wasn't feeling up to it, I guess." I look down at my hands. She opens her eyes and sits up in the bed, making sure to keep herself covered by the blanket.

"Beca, you can't just shut us all out like this. We're here for you. _I'm_ here for you, okay?"

"Yeah, I know, Stace. It's just… it's hard right now. I just don't feel right going out and partying while she's in there, ya know?" I say, never parting my gaze from my fingers. _'Man, I really need to re-paint my nails,'_ I think to myself.

"I know, Becs," she whispers. She's quiet for a moment, almost like she's pondering her next thought, wondering if she should make it vocal. "So, have you… have you made a decision… you know… on what to do?" I look up to meet her gaze. Her eyes appear more awake now.

"I think so," I say, barely audible.

"And?"

"And… I think it's what she would want." She forces a very fake half smile and crawls from the bed. She leans over and wraps her arms around my shoulders tightly, then whispers in my ear:

"I do, too." She pulls back after a few moments too long, kissing me on the cheek in the process. She slowly turns on her heels and goes to leave the room, turning her head back, she looks at me with sad eyes and watery. "I'm going back to bed. If you wanna talk, you know where to find me." I just nod my head as she leaves.

It's nice of her to offer, but we both know I'm not going to seek anyone out to talk about anything relating to my internal workings of emotions. Quite frankly, I don't even want to think about it in my own head right now.

I look at the time on my computer. 5:10. I get up and begin to gather my things to head back to the hospital later and decide to jump in the shower.

While walking to the bathroom with my bathrobe on and towel slung over my shoulder, I stop and look at the array of pictures that line the hallway of all the girls over the last three years. My eyes halt on one of Chloe and me. It was after the ICCA's my sophomore year, the first year of Chloe's "super senior" comeback. I remember being oddly excited when she told me she had failed Russian Lit and needed to repeat another year, all because she wanted to stay a Bella. A sense of commitment like that would normally scare me off, but with Chloe, it was different.

I stare a little longer at how her eyes are lit up so brightly and her smile is so genuine and perfect. The corners of my mouth creep upwards as I reach out and touch her face on the cold glass. I let out a small laugh as the emotions of the memory wash over me. Shaking it off, I peel my eyes away and continue my journey to the bathroom.

Once I've washed up and done my hair and makeup, I make my way back to my room to get dressed. I settle on a pair of skinny jeans, a black and coral horizontal striped sweater, and my Converse sneakers.

After taking my time getting ready and eating breakfast, I scoop up the keys from the bowl by the door and make my way outside. The sun's still fresh in the sky and the air is pretty brisk. I rub my hands up and down my arms to warm up as I slip into the driver's seat of Stacie's car. It's Saturday morning. She won't need it for a few more hours at the least.

I turn the ignition and pull out of the driveway, beginning my trek to the inevitable.

* * *

I walk into the hospital at 7 a.m. sharp like I have every Saturday. I'm normally the first one here for visiting hours, but today is different. When I walk towards Chloe's room, the glass door is open and I can see the crowd inside: her parents and Aubrey.

I walk in slowly, placing my bag and guitar in the corner where I usually do, making my presence known, then walk over to the side of the bed to give Chloe her usual good morning kiss.

"Hey Beca, how are you today?" Holly asks.

"I'm okay, and yourself?" I respond.

"Well, thanks for asking."

"And you?" I say looking to John.

"I'm doing alright, Beca." He nods his head with a curt smile.

"And I don't care how you're doing," I say to Aubrey, unable to keep a straight face.

"Well I could care less about you, too," she rips back, and we laugh softly.

I clear my throat and glance around the room at the tired souls surrounding it.

"So what brings you all in so early today?

"Oh, we were going to get breakfast and just decided to come in first today. We're actually just getting ready to go now," Holly says, getting to her feet and folding her coat over her arm.

"Yeah, Beca… you're more than welcome to join us if you'd like," Aubrey says, getting to her feet now and joining Mr. and Mrs. Beale by the door. "I know we ask all the time and you usually say 'no,' but the offer still stands."

"Thanks, I appreciate it, but I already ate." Aubrey purses her lips together and nods her head up and down. I get this sudden twist in my stomach that tells me to go, so I run out the door after them, leaving my stuff behind in the room. "Wait! Wait up!" I call out behind them. They slowly turn around to meet me. Breathless, I say, "I'll come… I… kind of wanted to talk… to all of you."

Aubrey's smile grows until her teeth are showing. She wraps her arms around my shoulders.

"Come on," she says. "Let's go chat."

* * *

Sitting at the little diner table, I pick at the edges of the old lamination on the menu, waiting for the right time to say what I have to say.

"So, Beca, what was it you wanted to talk to us about?" John chimes in, pulling me from my thoughts. I look up to meet the gaze of all three of them burning through me. I guess now is a good time.

"I, um… I wanted to talk about Chloe. And… and her… situation," I stammer.

"What about it, sweetie?" Holly asks.

"Well, I guess I've been doing a lot of thinking lately… and I've really taken the time to ask myself what it is that Chloe would want… and… and I—"

"You, what?" Aubrey questions, brows furrowed. I look up at her like a deer caught in the headlights. I can't make myself say it. And now the tears are coming back. The tears I fought so hard to keep away, and I feel numb again. My hands are cold and clammy. It's like I'm not even in my own head right now. I'm just floating away. "Jesus, Beca… It's okay," Aubrey says, reaching out to grab my hands. "You don't need to make yourself crazy over this. Just take your time. We're not going anywhere."

Maybe I'm having a mini panic attack, I don't know. But what I do know is, I'm bracing myself to say something I never imagined myself ever having to say. I've never thought about what it would be like to watch a person take their last breath. I mean, I've seen it on TV before: Grey's Anatomy, House, even E.R. when I was younger. And while those were sad and I may have shed a tear or two (though I'll never admit that out loud), deep in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't real. They would start breathing again, moving again, and _being_ again, once the camera man called 'cut.' But this isn't like that. This isn't like that at all. This is real life. The real thing, and it's a big deal. A _really_ big deal. So, _am_ I being crazy? Maybe. But this isn't just some random person on a television show I've never met before. This is my girlfriend. This is _Chloe_. My perfect, beautiful Chloe.

I wipe the tears staining my cheeks and inhale sharply.

"I think… I think it's time… to say goodbye." I lay it all out on the table. There's no going back now. ' _This is it, Beca.'_

"Are you sure?" Holly and Aubrey say in unison. I just bow my head towards the table, letting the tears silently fall onto the menu, then bob my head up and down. Nothing but silence ensues.

* * *

I shift my position in the uncomfortable chair that I slept in last night. I rub the side of my neck to ease the stiffness to no avail. When I blink the sleepiness from my eyes and realize where I am, my heart sinks. I slept in the hospital chair next to Chloe last night, because today is the day.

I try to shake the thought from my mind figuratively and literally as I stand and shake my arms. I stretch my neck out, then walk over to Chloe, looking down on her silent, peaceful face. I play with a strand of her hair between my fingers.

All of the swelling has gone away and she looks more like herself now, minus the scarring and tubes. Her poor lips are always so dry, though. I reach into my pocket and pull out some Chapstick, gently applying it to her lips. I lean in and give them a kiss.

There's a gentle knock on the door and the sound of it sliding open. John, Holly, Aubrey, and Stacie all walk in closing the door and curtains behind them.

"Stacie," I say, reaching out for her. "I thought you had to work this morning?"

"I wouldn't miss this, Becs," she responds, embracing me into a bear hug.

Everyone is sitting quietly around the room, no one knowing what to say to one another. The silence makes my brain go haywire. I start thinking back to the readings in my neuroscience class. When we detach the breathing tube, she could start breathing on her own again. What if that happens? What if she _does_ end up waking up? What would she be like? Would she even remember us? Would she remember _me_? What kind of life would that be? For her? For _us_?

I'm pulled from my thoughts and still my nervously bouncing my leg as Dr. Roberts and another nurse I've never seen before enter the room.

"Good morning, everyone. Are we ready?" When she gets no response, she shakes her head. "I'm so sorry. That was a stupid question." She makes her way to the side of Chloe's bed and does one last reflex check. Nothing. She takes her place on one side of the bed while the nurse makes her way to the other.

"Wait," I say, practically jumping from my skin. "I'm not ready."

"Beca, we talked about this—" Aubrey starts, but I cut her off.

"I wanna sing her a song," I say reaching for my guitar in the corner. "If she can hear me, I need her to hear this." I take a seat next to Chloe. I figured I could try at least one more time to bring her back. I wrote her another song when I had finally made the decision to be 'okay' with letting her go.

I take out my guitar and place it on my lap, clipping the capo on the correct fret. I begin to play as Dr. Robert's puts on a clean pair of gloves.

" _Crashing, I hit a wall, right now I need a miracle,_

 _Hurry up now, I need a miracle,_

 _Stranded, reachin' out, I call your name, but you're not around,_

 _Say your name but you're not around."_

Dr. Roberts walks over and shuts off the dialysis machine. One less sound in the background.

 _"I need you, I need you, yeah, I need you right now,_

 _So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _I think I'm losing my mind now,_

 _It's in my head, darlin' I hope,_

 _That you'll be here when I need you the most,_

 _So, don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down, down, down,_

 _Don't let me down, down, down."_

The nurse is taking out her IV and her feeding tube now, cutting off her nutrients to survive.

 _"Running, out of time,_

 _I really thought you were by my side,_

 _But nobody's by my side._

 _I need you, I need you, yeah, I need you right now,_

 _So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _I think I'm losing my mind now,_

 _It's in my head, darlin' I hope,_

 _That you'll be here when I need you the most,_

 _So, don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down, down, down,_

 _Don't let me down, down, down."_

Dr. Roberts makes her way to the head of Chloe's bed and slowly unhooks the breathing tube.

 _"Ooo, I think I'm losing my mind now, yeah,_

 _Ooo, I think I'm losing my mind."_

Chloe's chest has stopped rising. I can feel the tears creeping into the corners of my eyes.

 _"I need you, I need you, yeah, I need you right now,_

 _So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _I think I'm losing my mind now,_

 _It's in my head, darlin' I hope,_

 _That you'll be here when I need you the most,_

 _So, don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down, yeah,_

 _Don't let me down._

 _Don't let me down, mmmm_

 _Don't let me down,_

 _Don't let me down, down, down…"_

I hear nothing. Nothing but a flat line and the gentle sobs surrounding the room...


	7. Chapter 7

" _So I guess I'm gonna let you go,_

 _But you get to keep a little bit of my soul,_

 _So I guess I'm gonna write you out,_

 _But I don't think I can do it to me right now,_

 _Let's pretend that time heals all…"_

-Start Again by Conrad Sewell

* * *

I shove the last shirt that I can fit into my little carry-on bag and zip it up. Pulling the suitcase off of the bed and dropping it onto the floor, I pause and take a look around the room. It's empty. Nothing but my own things remain. Chloe's parents came and cleared out all of her belongings yesterday, now they're scattered around in boxes downstairs and in the backs of everyone's cars.

I hear footsteps ascending the stairs in a slow even pattern, then making their way down the hall until they reach my doorway. I close my eyes and wait for the knock, but it never comes.

"Are you ready, Becs?" Stacie asks, as she then knocks on my already open door.

I turn around slowly, swallowing hard. Looking her dead in the eyes, unable to speak, I pull the handle up on my bag and wheel it, and myself, right past her and down the stairs. I walk to the car and place it in the backseat, right next to a box labeled "Chloe's Shoes." Why they need to take _everything_ she owned is beyond me.

Shaking my head, I slam the door closed, then make my way back around the car to the passenger's side and throw myself down, buckling my seatbelt. I sit and wait for Stacie to come outside, cranking the keys sitting in the ignition turning on the car.

In the meantime, I flip through the channels on the radio. Nothing seems to spark my interest and I give up, slamming the power button, opting to sit in silence. Leaning back into the seat, I close my eyes, forcing my brain to think about anything but the events of the last couple days. Instead, I try to think of happier things. Like the first time I came to Barden with my bad attitude thinking I was there to please my dad and get my free pass to L.A. But, instead I met an insanely hot redhead who ambushed me in the shower and forced me to try out for her stupid A Capella group (let's be real…she didn't need to push too hard. I mean, she was _naked…_ in my shower). But, here we all are four years later living in the same house and making history. Well, not _all_ of us now…

I reach my hand up to wipe a solitary tear that's trickling its way down my cheek. So much for _happier_ thoughts.

I'm jolted back to reality when Stacie abruptly opens the driver side door and gets inside.

"Alright, the rest of the girls have booked their flights and Aubrey and Chloe's parents are already on the road," she says, adjusting her phone in the holder hanging from the windshield. She reaches down and plugs her car charger in, then connects it to the phone. "What's the address again?" she asks. I turn and give her a dirty look. I've only told her this about a half a million times.

"I already told you, 3309 West Leona St, Tampa, Florida." I snap back, and she types away speedily into Google Maps. Checking her rearview mirror, she puts the car in reverse, then slams it back into park, causing the car to jolt slightly. "What the hell?" I ask, whipping my head back to grill her again.

"I just thought you should know that Jesse will be there, too. He'll be coming in tomorrow morning." She smiles timidly at me, and I suddenly feel a little more at ease. Jesse's been MIA lately after everything that happened. I haven't spent any actual time with him since before the accident. I look out the passenger's side window, not wanting Stacie to see that my eyes are lit a little brighter.

"Well, you couldn't drive and tell me that?" I snarl back. Not that I'm really in a rush to get where we're going.

Stacie just sighs heavily and continues what she was doing before, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the driveway.

"Alright, Tampa, here we come," she mutters under her breath, and I can't help but cringe.

* * *

The six hour drive to Florida was nothing short of excruciating. Stacie played the Taylor Swift station on Pandora the entire way down and all I wanted to do was slam my head against the window. Nothing against Taylor Swift and her posse, but I can only take so much of them at one time. Six straight hours? It's too much.

The time I didn't spend wanting to jump out of the car, I spent dreading this whole trip. I've always wanted to go to Tampa and spend time with Chloe's family, but I never thought it would be for this reason.

We pull into the driveway of a cute little two-story home with a large one car garage, a brick laid driveway, and beautiful vines growing up the side. There's a room over the garage with a patio you can walk out on and terracotta shingles on the roof. It's beautiful in more ways than one. I sigh because it just looks like something Chloe would love. And I know she did, because she's talked about her childhood home many times.

Stacie parks the car and gets out first, while I stay staring at the house. I can hear her rustling around in the trunk grabbing bags and moving around boxes. I watch her walk towards the front door as it opens and Aubrey and John emerge, helping to take some of the bags from her. A few moments later, Aubrey exits the front door by herself, and slowly walks up to the passenger side door, waving with a smile. She reaches the door and knocks on the window, so I roll it down, but never turn to look at her.

"Hey, Beca. Holly made sandwiches. You should come in and eat," she says.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

"Come on, Becs. Stacie said you guys haven't eaten since this morning before you left. You have to be hungry by now."

"I said I'm not hungry, okay?!" I spit out, snapping my head in her direction. But she doesn't appear taken aback by my outburst. She just straightens herself up and crosses her arms.

"Fine. But I'm not dealing with… _this_ the whole weekend," she says, circling her finger in my direction, "so get your head out of your ass and come inside whenever you're ready." She turns to walk back into the house and I roll the window up.

I lean over and turn the key to shut the car off and take it out of the ignition. I fiddle around with the different keychains Stacie has. There's a large plastic one that's almost white from all the scratches of wear and tear over the years. It has a picture of the beach on one side and a picture of Stacie with Chloe on the other. Chloe made one for each of us that summer when she thought that would be her last one with us. It was at Stacie's parent's beach house on Hilton Head Island, and it was one of the most memorable times in my life. I've made so many of those with these girls. With Chloe.

I flip it over and stare at the picture. There's no denying they're both insanely gorgeous looking girls with great figures, but my eyes are drawn specifically to Chloe. Every inch of Chloe in this tiny little, scratched up plastic keychain. The way her toes are curled into the sand, the way she juts out her knee, the way that little black bikini hugs her curves in just the right places. I run my finger down the side of her abdomen. I look at the way her arm is so carefree around Stacie's shoulders, while the other is planted firmly on her hip. The way her hair is pulled up high in a messy bun, but has small curls trickling down in the back and one outlining the side of her face. The way her eyes are barely noticeable because they're squeezed together from laughing at something ridiculous Amy just said in the background. Her overall beauty is mesmerizing and I can't help but smile.

I sigh heavily and drop the keychain from my fingertips, replacing it with the car remote. I open the door and push myself out. Closing the door behind me, I click the lock button, deciding to come back for my stuff later, and make my way inside.

I open the door slowly, poking my head around the corner to see if anyone is around. I can hear voices, presumably in the kitchen area, but no one to be seen. Making my way inside, I close the door behind me and take in all the beauty. I'm standing in an open foyer with a beautiful marble staircase and marble floors. There's teal and purple accents everywhere, reminding me a little bit of a peacock. Such bold colors seem like they wouldn't work, but here it looks so elegant and inviting.

Dropping the keys into my hoodie pocket, I make my way to the marble staircase now surrounded by boxes and bags. I drag my hand across the tops of some of them, over her name.

At the bottom of the staircase now, I look up to the top. All of the lights appear to be off, but I make my way up slowly.

Once I step onto the last stair, I poke my head around. To the left, all the way at the end of the hallway, there's an open door that appears to be the master bedroom. Directly in front of me at the top of the stairs is a rather large bathroom, all white with black, grey, and yellow accents. To my right, there's another door, but it's closed. I practically gravitate towards it. Next thing I know, my hand it hovering over the knob about to turn. I stop myself realizing what I'm doing. This has to be Chloe's childhood room.

"Beca? I didn't hear you come in," Holly's voice echoes behind me in the hallway, causing me to jump a mile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." I turn to look at her. She's standing in the middle of the hall holding a handful of folded grey and yellow towels. "I was just putting these away," she says, motioning towards the bathroom behind her.

"Right," I say. "I was… just looking around. I—uh… think I'll go grab a sandwich now." I start to walk back to the stairs.

"That's Chloe's room, you know," she calls back behind me. "You can go inside… if you'd like." I pause for a split second at the top of the steps. Not looking back I begin to descend.

"I'm pretty hungry. Maybe later," I reply. But, I don't think I really want to. Period.

* * *

After forcing myself to eat something, I make my way back out to Stacie's car and grab my suitcase from the back seat to bring inside. John and Holly offered the guest bedroom to Stacie and me, while Aubrey offered to sleep on the couch. It's nearing 8 PM now and all I want to do is sleep. My head is reeling and my eyes are so heavy.

I drag the suitcase inside and down the hall to the guest bedroom. I unpack my pajamas and toiletries and make my way to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth. When I get back to the room, Stacie's sitting up in bed with the side table lamp on, her glasses propped at the end of her nose, reading a book. **Pathogenic Bacteriology and Immunology**. I shake my head. For someone who acts like a total ditz, she's insanely smart. Like, borderline genius. She's pre-med here at Barden and she's heading off to Johns Hopkins in the fall. I smile. Proud.

Stacie looks at me over the brim of her thick black frames.

"What's up?" she asks.

"What? Nothing…why?"

"You look lost. Are you lost?" She tilts her head, a mocking tone to her question.

I laugh because _of course_ I'm lost. My girlfriend, Chloe, the love of my life, is gone. The person I was supposed to be with forever. The one I was supposed to make a life with. A future. _Our future_. We promised to always be there for each other. She promised to always be here for me, and now she's just… not. She's not here.

So yeah, I'm fucking lost. I have no idea where my life is supposed to go now. What direction to take next. Sure, I had plans to head out to L.A. and pursue a musical career, but that was before. Before I knew what falling in love was. Before I found my true purpose. Before Chloe.

Stacie's raising her eyebrow at me. I roll my eyes. No. She doesn't get to judge me right now. She's not allowed to think I'm crazy. But, of course I _am_ crazy. Crazy sad. Crazy in love. Crazy heartbroken. I'm just… crazy. But, that's not for her to judge. She doesn't get to judge me.

"Beca," she says so soft it's merely a whisper. Her eyes turn from judgement to sorrow. "I know you're having a hard time. I know this sucks. I… I can't even imagine what's going on in your head right now. But, please don't shut me out. Please let me be there for you." She pulls her glasses off.

I can't do _this_ right now. I need to get out of here. Go somewhere. Where? I don't know. Just anywhere but here in this room. I turn on my heels and beeline out of there. Tears well up in my eyes, my vision blurred. I can't see where I'm going. I just allow my feet to take control. An impulse I've developed over the years. Constantly fleeing. Always running away.

I end up at the top of the stairs again. It's dark up here, lights off with just the glow from the moon coming through the window on the slanted ceiling. I look up at the stars. Then directly into the brightness of the moon. I wonder where Chloe is now. I wonder if there really is a place you go to after you die. I wonder what she would say if she could see me right now. Sitting outside of her childhood bedroom, crying like an absolute baby.

I don't know what she would say, but I know what she would do. She'd get down on the floor with me and she would hold my hand in hers. She'd stroke her thumb across my palm and she'd hum a lullaby, soft and gentle, in my ear.

 _"Baby mine, don't you cry.  
Baby mine, dry your eyes.  
Rest your head, close to my heart,  
Never to part, baby of mine._

 _Little one, when you play,_  
 _Pay no heed, what they say._  
 _Let your eyes sparkle and shine,_  
 _Never a tear, baby of mine._

 _If they knew all about you,_  
 _They'd end up loving you too._  
 _All those same people who scold you,_  
 _What they'd give just for the right to hold you._

 _From your head down to your toes,_  
 _You're not much, goodness knows._  
 _But, you're so precious to me,_  
 _Sweet as can be, baby of mine."_

Just like my mother would sing when I was a little. Then she'd place my head on her shoulder and run her fingers through my hair until the tears would subside. Only Chloe knew this would help calm me. That this would ease all my fears. Because only Chloe had access to that part of me. Only Chloe held that key.

"Beca? Hey, Becs? Are you up there?" Stacie whispers from the bottom of the stairs. I ignore her. "Becs?" I hear her footsteps slowly closing in. "Bec—oh my God, Beca? What's wrong? Becs, talk to me…" She kneels down in front of me, reaching out to touch my arm, but I pull away.

"Go away Stacie. Please just leave me alone…"

"Beca, please. Just breathe, okay? You're gonna be okay—"

"What the fuck do you know, Stacie?" I hiss, trying to keep my voice low. "How the fuck do you know that?" I bury my face in my hands before I can see her reaction to my outburst.

"No. You're right." Her voice is low, a whisper. "You're right, Beca. I don't know. I don't know what will happen. I have no idea how you'll be in a week, a month, a year." I can feel her body move so she's sitting next to me, pressing her back against the door. "But what I do know is that I refuse to let you sink this low. I refuse to lose you beneath the surface of the water." I turn to look at her. She sounds so cliché right now. "Hold on, hear me out, okay?" I roll my eyes and look down at my lap. "Right now, you're an anchor." Oh Christ, here we go. "You're holding yourself down, drowning in your own sorrow. But, I'm a buoy. Aubrey, Jesse, the rest of the Bellas. We're all the buoys. I'm— _we're_ here to hold you up. To keep you from sinking. From staying under for too long." I shake my head. She sighs. "It sounded way better in my head," she says, letting out a puff of air I think may have been a laugh. She reaches out and touches my arm. I'm so numb, I barely feel it. "Look Becs, what I'm saying is… I'm here for you. _We're_ here for you. You don't have to go through this alone. Please don't shut us out."

I turn to look at the leggy brunette. The moonlight is shining on half of her face. Her eyes look glossy and wet, and… and… sad? Yeah. She looks sad. And it dawns on me that she lost Chloe too. She may not have been in love with Chloe, but she loved her. In her own way. And she lost her too.

I'm not sure what compels me to, but I launch forward and embrace her, weeping into her shoulder.

* * *

I stand in front of the body length mirror on the wall in the guest bathroom. I look myself up and down a few times. I guess I clean up pretty well.

I'm wearing an all-black, V-neck, sleeveless, knee length dress with pearl embellishments on the upper half. I opted for flats instead of the heels Stacie made me buy, because those things fucking hurt and I don't need to be in any more pain today than I already am.

There's a light knock on the door.

"You okay in there?" Sounds like Aubrey.

"Just finishing up," I answer.

"Okay. We're leaving soon." She leaves it at that.

I flatten the skirt of my dress with my hands, throw my jacket over my shoulder, and take a deep breath.

"Here goes nothin'."

* * *

The mass is held at the St. Patrick Catholic Church. I was never raised in the churches eye. I'm not even sure if my parents practiced any kind of religion in their lifetime. So, sitting through this mass has been nothing but excruciating. I've managed to zone out for most of it anyway.

It's during the part when everyone gets up to receive the "body and blood of Chirst" (which is just weird and wrong if you ask me) that I find my mind wandering to places it probably shouldn't while in such a holy place. I find myself staring at Chloe's casket in the front, thinking about us and our relationship and how wonderful it had been. I find myself wondering if the priest knew who I was to her. Her girlfriend. Wasn't this looked down upon in the Catholic Church? I'm pretty sure we're considered "abominations" or some stupid shit like that. They must not know. They probably think we were just really good friends, right? Which we were. So they're not entirely wrong. Just… _really_ good friends.

I'm tugged from my wandering thoughts when Stacie nudges me in the arm. I didn't even notice her take her seat back next to me.

"That's you, Becs."

I'm lost. What about me? She nods her head towards the altar, the priest looking to me expectedly.

Oh, _that_. I swallow hard, hesitating.

"Beca," Stacie whispers. "We're coming with you. Come on."

I look to my left and see both Stacie and Aubrey looking to me. Jesse's sitting next to Aubrey. He gives me a small smile and nods his head as if to say it will all be okay. I take a deep breath and smile back, then look down at the piece of paper in my hands that I've managed to fold and unfold about a million times over the past 45 minutes. Stacie nudges me again and I make it to my feet.

Stacie and Aubrey walk with me to the podium on the altar, taking their position on either side of me for support. Like I'm going to pass out or something. Which I just might.

I unfold the paper where I had written this really awesome eulogy with all of these really sweet memories I've shared with Chloe over the years, and flatten it out onto the podium. Stacie takes my hand in hers. I look over my words, all blurry, nothing making sense, as my eyes begin to fill with tears. I let out a quiet sniffle that echoes over the speakers and through the church. I look up and clear my throat, finding Jesse in the sea of people. He smiles half-heartedly. He'll keep me grounded. Just look at him.

"As some of you may already know, I'm really no good with words." A light, unenthused giggle echoes around me. "Especially when it comes to talking about my feelings. I am good with music though, so I wrote a song... for Chloe," I say, looking to my left at the blue-green eyes filling with tears as Aubrey gives my arm a reassuring squeeze.

Stacie lets go of my hand and I walk around to the other side of the podium where I had placed the small black case earlier that morning before the services began. I knelt down and ghosted my fingers over the haphazardly placed 'Love Is Louder' sticker across the top before stopping at the clips. I flip the brass clasps up and open the case slowly. I can feel the lump in my throat grow bigger and my eyes are welling with tears again. I take a deep breath as I try to steady my shaking hands and delicately lift the tiny instrument from the case. I stand up and walk to the chair that's now sitting next to the podium. Aubrey gives me a sideways smirk, with a soft look in her eyes, and she motions for me to sit.

I hold the ukulele close my body, a piece of Chloe. One that I don't ever want to let go. I squeeze my eyes together as a tear escapes and runs down my cheek, dripping onto the breast of my jacket. I take another deep breath and loosen my grip on the instrument. Opening my eyes, I place my fingers on the strings and begin to strum the song I wrote for Chloe.

" _You could be happy, and I won't know,_

 _But you weren't happy the day I watched you go,_

 _And all the things that I wish I had not said,_

 _Are played in loops till it's madness in my head,_

 _Now it's too late to remind you how we were,_

 _But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur,_

 _Most of what I remember makes me sure,_

 _I should have stopped you from walking out the door._

 _You could be happy, I hope you are,_

 _You made me happier than I'd been by far,_

 _Somehow everything I own smells of you,_

 _And for the tiniest moment it's all not true._

 _Do the things that you always wanted to,_

 _Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do,_

 _More than anything I want to see you, girl,_

 _Take a glorious bite out of the whole world…"_

I stop strumming and my breath hitches in my throat as a sob forces its way out. I clutch the ukulele to my chest and heave myself forward as the sobs roll out uncontrollably now. I can feel two pairs of hands on my arms as I'm being lifted from the chair and walked off the altar. And I can't stop now. The tears are flowing like a raging river breaking through a dam. A dam that's been beaten and battered down for months, finally breaking.

* * *

When we get back to Chloe's parent's house, I find myself running inside. I rush and push my way clumsily up the stairs, a fit of tears fighting their way out. Not that I've even stopped since the funeral and putting her, my girlfriend, into the ground. One of the worst experiences I've ever had to face.

I don't realize what I'm doing until I slam the door behind me and lock it. I turn to look at the room around me. Chloe's childhood room. Light yellow walls with fake sunflowers on the nightstand, a yellow and white patterned bed spread with a white headboard, and a large painting over the head of the bed. A field of sunflowers that reads in gold, cursive letters across the top _'You are my sunshine. You make me happy.'_

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. Of course this is Chloe's room. She's the epitome of brightness and light. She is her own ray of sunshine.

I throw myself onto the bed and hug my knees to my chest, burying my face into Chloe's pillow.

A knock on the door.

"Beca? Are you okay?" Stacie asks.

"Go away!"

The doorknob jiggles.

"Come on, Becs. Open up." Aubrey shouts through the crack.

I don't answer.

"Please?" Stacie pleads.

Silence. I hear nothing but my soft whimpers muffled by my knees.

"Beca…" Stacie says, weak and defeated.

"Stace, let's just leave her be for a while… she'll come out eventually."

It's quiet and fuzzy. My ears are buzzing and my eyes are burning. A bright light is forcing its way under my eyelids.

Another knock on the door and I can hear it creak open. Didn't I lock it? I was sure I had locked it.

I must be going insane. I smell Chloe. I smell her perfume as it assaults my nose. It's sweet and subtle. And so close.

"Beca?"

I try to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Hey, Becs?"

I attempt to open my eyes, blinded by the light that's tearing through the blinds. A blurry silhouette is coming towards me, two cups of coffee in hand.

"Hey, I… I brought you coffee." The bed dips down and a hand outstretches, a steaming cup of aromas coming towards me. "Your favorite. Tall, non-fat latte with caramel drizzle." I look around me. Confused. I look to the person with the outstretched hand, blinking rapidly, trying to adjust my vision.

"Chloe?"

* * *

 _"But I'm not afraid to start again…"_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hi all! Here is Chapter 8! I know it's been a while, but things got real hectic with school the last couple of weeks :( Big shout out to my beta, sugarlandaddict23 on edits and helping keep me sane as always! Lol Chapter 9 should be up sooner as I am officially on summer break! Yay!**

 **You'll notice the POV has changed and you'll understand why as you read.**

 **I never mentioned the songs that were used in the last chapter because I was avoiding A/N's for dramatic purposes lol I hope I achieved that :-p Anyway, the songs used in Chapter 7 were:**

 **-Start Again by Conrad Sewell**

 **-Baby Mine lullaby by Bette Midler**

 **-You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol**

 ***I do not own Pitch Perfect***

* * *

"Hey, sleepyhead. Sorry for waking you. It's just… it's already 11 and we're supposed to have practice at one today, right? Or… do you want to cancel…?"

"Shit, no. You're right." Beca sits upright in the bed, her mind becoming clearer now, remembering where she is. She pulls her legs up into her chest, wrapping her arms around them, then rests her forehead on top of her knees and runs her hands through her hair. "I just had the craziest dream," she says, more to herself than to Chloe.

"Do you… want to talk about it?" Chloe asks hesitantly, shifting in closer to Beca. She feels like she's walking on eggshells right now. The brunette has never really been good at opening up about things with anyone. That's half the reason why she's here in the first place. With coffee. Like a truce of sorts.

"What?" Beca asks, turning to look at the redhead now. "No," she says, shaking her head. "No. It's fine. I like… don't really remember it now anyway. It was just… I just. I'm… I'm really glad you're here." She half smiles at Chloe and Chloe smiles back.

"Well this is my room too, so…" She lets out a giggle. "You're also sleeping in my bed. Why is that?" She tilts her head to the side like a puppy, a playful look in her eyes. "Yours is literally right there." She points to Beca's bed on the other side of the room. Beca scrunches up her nose and tilts her head in response.

"Yours is closer to the door?" Chloe laughs. "I don't know. Whatever. I like your pillows better. They're fluffier." She grabs one of the pillows and tosses it towards Chloe.

"Hey! Watch out! Hot beverages here!" Chloe exclaims as she dodges the object, holding the cups higher to avoid it as well.

"Right. Sorry." Beca gives the redhead a sympathetic look and then reaches out to take her coffee. "Thank you for this, by the way." She wraps both hands around the now warm coffee and breathes in its wonderfully sweet smell. "Smells like heaven."

Chloe is quiet for a moment, watching while Beca sips her coffee, taking sips of her own here and there. She's waiting for the other woman to speak first because she isn't really sure what it is she wants to say. Unsure of how to bring up such a touchy subject with the wounds still fresh from the night before. She wonders if Beca even remembers the fight and how she just left with no resolve. They had been drinking, after all. Like a lot. At least Chloe had. She makes a mental note to take another Aspirin before practice.

"So… where did you sleep? If I slept here…" Beca looks over at her bed. It's still made up nicely from the day before, all of her throw pillows still in the same place. It clearly hasn't been touched. And she's almost positive the redhead didn't climb into bed with her because she's certain she would have woken up.

Chloe takes another long gulp from her coffee then looks over to Beca's bed and back to Beca.

"I slept in Stacie's room. She stayed out last night so I figured I'd crash there. It's not a big deal." She shrugs her shoulders.

"You should have woken me up. I would've moved, Chlo…"

"It's fine, Becs…" the redhead says, playing with the cardboard slip around her cup, pushing it up and down.

"You could have slept in my bed… or I don't know… joined me? Nothing's ever stopped you from doing that before," Beca says, fishing for the redhead to elaborate more. She's starting to wonder if Chloe's still mad about the events that transpired from the night before. Her heart sinks a little when Chloe's gaze refuses to meet hers.

"You just… looked so peaceful and I didn't wanna bother you so I… I just…" Chloe fiddles with the tab on the cover of her cup. "I went to sleep somewhere else. I didn't wanna wake you or anything."

A flash of the dream races through Beca's mind. She closes her eyes tightly and buries her face back into her knees. _'Well maybe you should have,'_ she thinks to herself.

"So, what time did you end up coming home?" Beca asks, trying desperately to shake herself from her thoughts.

"Oh, umm… maybe around 2-2:30ish? I don't remember…"

"So you stayed out the _whole_ night?" She opens her eyes now, brows raised. Chloe looks at her, her own brows furrow.

"Yeah, is that alright?" Chloe asks, a condescending tone seeping into her voice. Beca senses the tension rising.

"No. I mean, yeah… of course…" She looks down. She wasn't trying to be judgmental or sound annoyed. She doesn't know why it came off that way. It just did.

"Should I have asked permission first? At least I don't lie about where I am all the time," Chloe bites, setting her cup on the nightstand with more force than she intended to. She immediately regrets it when she sees the look of shock on Beca's face, but in the moment, she doesn't really care. Her anger from the night before is beginning to rise, hot in her chest again. Beca shakes her head.

"Chloe, that's not fair…" the brunette breathes, sounding defeated.

"Isn't it, though?" she hisses, darting her eyes back to Beca's. "I can think of a lot of things that aren't fair, Beca."

"Can we not do this right now?"

"Then when? When are we gonna talk about this? Huh?" Chloe bores into Beca. A storm rising behind the blue of her eyes. "You deliberately lied to me for weeks. No, _months!_ Why, Beca? Tell me why. Because I really don't understand…" She's talking with her hands. Chloe does this when she's mad or upset. One of her little quirks that Beca picked up on years ago.

"I don't know, _okay_?" Beca says, raising her voice and throwing up her hands. "I don't know. I'm not good with this stuff…"

"Yeah, I know. You're not good at talking to people… or sharing your feelings… or being a good friend. I get it." Beca really feels that last one. Like a swift kick to the stomach. And maybe that queasy feeling is partly due to the amount of alcohol she consumed on a mostly empty stomach the night before, but the hurt written across the redhead's face at the moment really isn't helping.

"Chloe, come on. You're not being fair. Does it have to be this big of a deal? It's really not that serious…"

"Yeah, it does. And, yes. To me it is. It's a big deal for me because _I_ value our friendship. I trust you Beca. I do… or I did… I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I just know I trusted you and I told you everything. You knew the ins and outs of everything about me because I've always been completely honest with you. And lately you've given me nothing in return."

"Chloe, please…"

"Do you know how frustrating that is?"

"Chloe…"

"Do you?" the redhead stares at Beca, her eyebrows pinching together.

"No… I guess… I mean yes. I do." Beca fights with her words, because she does get it. She just can't understand why this is such a big ordeal to the redhead. "Look, Chlo. I'm sorry. Okay? I wasn't trying to hurt you. Any of you. I just… I don't know…" she admits, playing with the tag on her now empty cup.

"You keep saying that. You 'don't know.' You had to have known this would catch up to you eventually, right? How long did you think you could lie to me for?"

"Jesus Christ, Chloe." Beca huffs and slams her cup down on the side table next to Chloe's. "God forbid I have a legit music producer that wants to hear my work!" Beca throws her hands back over her face, feeling a rush of déjà vu wash over her.

"Seriously, Beca?! _That's_ what you think this is about? You think I'm _jealous_ of you or something? Ha. You seriously need to wake up." She goes to stand, but Beca lunges forward and grabs her arm trying to pull her back down.

"Let go, Beca. I have nothing left to say to you," Chloe says, trying to free her arm.

"Please stay, Chloe. I _just_ got you back…" At this, Chloe stops writhing under Beca's insanely strong grasp, and looks down to the cold fingers gripping her wrist, and back up to Beca. She's unsure what this statement means, or where it came from, but the brunette looks troubled. Sad even. She takes a deep breath and gently sits back down.

"Beca," she says quietly. "I never left…"

"No. I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why that came out." She buries her face into the crease of her elbow that's resting on her knees.

"Does this have anything to do with that dream you had last night?"

Beca contemplates telling Chloe all about the dream. But then she would have to explain to her why she had a dream where she and Chloe were dating. Because they're not actually together and that would be weird, right? Right. So she shifts that thought to the back of her mind for now.

"No. I told you, I don't really remember it… it was just weird. That's all I know…"

"Look, Becs, I'm sorry for blowing up at you—"

"It's fine, Chloe. I totally deserve it. What I did was a dick move. I shouldn't have lied to you about the internship and it was stupid and I'm so sorry." Beca looks to Chloe now, then back down to her hand that's still holding Chloe's wrist. She loosens her grasp, but doesn't let go.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know… I know I can and I do. I swear I do. This was just something that seemed so… I don't know… distracting? And I didn't want to take your focus away from Worlds. You're so locked in on that."

"But this is a huge deal for you. I feel robbed…" Beca feels a look of confusion settle on her face.

"Robbed?" she asks.

"Yeah. Robbed. Maybe it's selfish of me to say, but I feel like I was cheated from sharing the excitement of the whole thing with you." Beca blinks rapidly, processing Chloe's words. "I would've loved to have been there to see your reaction when you found out. Or to celebrate with you afterwards. And maybe I could have helped you more than I had on those days you would come home stressed out and I didn't know what for." Chloe looks down at Beca's thin fingers wrapped around her wrist still. Beca nods her head. She gets it. "I just feel like I lost out on getting to be your best friend and experiencing those things with you. We're supposed to do these things together, Becs. That's what friends are for. You shouldn't _have_ to do it alone."

Beca looks up to the redhead now and smiles. Genuine.

"You've been nothing _but_ amazing, Chlo. You're seriously the best friend I could have ever asked for." She looks down again. "I've never had one of those, you know? A best friend." Chloe shifts her position and Beca looks up again. "Even when you didn't understand why I was stressed or upset, you always made me feel better." Beca moves from Chloe's wrist, taking her hand into hers, and gently rubs her thumb softly over Chloe's knuckles. "Seriously, Chlo. I mean it." Chloe looks down and intertwines their fingers. She glances back up to meet Beca's gaze, smiling.

"I try to be the best friend that I can for you. For all of you," she says, opening her posture and motioning around the room with her free hand. "You girls are my whole world and I'd do anything for you." She looks back down to their hands. "Especially you, Beca. We've become so close and I won't let something like this get in the way of what we have. I worked too long and hard to get your walls down. I refuse to let you revert back to the old Beca." She winks. Beca laughs.

"I'm sorry, Chloe. For everything. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course. And I'm sorry, too. Can you forgive _me_?"

"I don't think I really have a choice. I'd be a total dick if I said no, right?"

Chloe lets out a belly laugh as she leans forward and pushes Beca's shoulder, causing her to fall backwards into the headboard hitting her head.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!" she exclaims, throwing her hand over her mouth.

Beca rubs the back of her head with her free hand and starts laughing. Chloe joins in. Then she scoots herself closer and embraces the brunette into a hug. One of those colossal bear hugs she knows Beca hates, but lets her get away with anyway. She knows she's succeeded in affection overload by the groan she receives from the smaller girl, but Beca gives in and wraps her arms around Chloe's waist. Smiling into Beca's shoulder, she takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly accompanied by a light, airy hum of contentment.

"Promise you'll tell me everything from now on?" she says, her voice muffled by the tangled mess of brown hair.

"Promise," Beca whispers back. Her heart sinks a little into the pit of her stomach because she's not entirely sure how much truth lies behind that. She can't tell her about that ridiculous dream she just woke up from because she herself barely understands what happened. She sighs into the curve of Chloe's neck.

"Great," Chloe says, pulling herself away, but not fully letting Beca out of her embrace. She looks her up and down, noticing the heavy eye make-up and red velvet choker she wore the night before. "Did you even change from last night?" she asks, reaching down and pulling the covers off the top of Beca's legs to reveal ripped jean shorts and black stockings. She's still wearing her black tank top and red and black plaid flannel shirt, completing her 90's attire outfit from last night's Halloween festivities. Literally the entire outfit, minus the combat boots, which Chloe spotted haphazardly tossed in the corner near the door. "Seriously, Becs?"

Beca just giggles. "What?" she asks. "I just wasn't in the mood to change, I guess." Chloe rolls her eyes and lets out a soft laugh as she completely releases Beca and pushes herself up and off the bed.

"Well, get up and take a shower or something. You reek of booze." She scrunches up her nose. "I'll be downstairs." Chloe turns and heads for the door, poking her head back in before she closes it. "Oh, hey, Bec?" Beca looks up, as she places her feet on the cold floor, the room beginning to spin. "Thank you." A small smile tugs at her lips, and she closes the door behind her.

Beca listens to Chloe's footsteps as she descends the stairs. One by one, like the steady rhythm of a ticking clock. Or a time bomb. Much like the one that's about to go off inside her head. She leans forward, acutely aware of the awful hangover that's beginning to make its home in her brain, and possibly every muscle and joint in her body. She rubs her temples with the tips of her fingers.

"'Thank you?' What the hell is she thanking me for?" she asks herself out loud. She sighs as she collects her clothes and makes her way to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Sticking her arm behind the curtain, Beca turns on the water. She lets the room fill with steam and fogs up the mirror. She stands at the sink, her hands resting on the edges holding her up as if she's about to fall over. Slumping her shoulders and lowering her head, she begins to think about the events of the previous day.

Her awful experience at her internship.

The stupid fight with Chloe.

That fucking nightmare.

The day had started off pretty good actually. It was a Friday, so Beca had a lecture until nine and the three hour lab afterwards until noon. Straight from there she ran to Bellas practice that was to start promptly at 12:30. She thought practice went great. The majority of the time was spent with the girls talking about their costumes for the Halloween party later, and learning strange dance moves she's only ever seen in a Drake music video. Because Lord knows he can't dance.

Beca found herself smiling a lot more than usual. Her headphones snug against her ears while she attempted to redo the set list for Worlds. She watched the girls practice choreography that Chloe broke out of some unknown vault Beca was unaware existed. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't staring from time to time. Mostly in confusion as to what was happening in front of her. But she loved having these girls around her. That's something she never thought she would say, even to herself.

She's torn from her thoughts when there's three loud knocks on the bathroom door.

"Almost done in there, short stack? I need to hop in. This stink don't wash itself," Amy shouts through the crack of the door.

Beca looks up in the mirror now and smiles to herself, shaking her head. She slowly undresses and steps into the shower, allowing the water to wash away the misgivings of the night before.

"Gimme like 10 more minutes!" she shouts back. She begins to wash her hair and lets her mind drift back to where it was before.

Practice finished up around quarter past four and Beca had to dash back to the house to change before running off to Residual Heat for five. She hated feeling rushed. She also hated that the boss made them come in so late on Friday's because it was never guaranteed what time they'd be released. Especially now that they're working on putting together Snoop's Christmas album.

She thinks about the text she got from Chloe once she had gotten to her internship.

 **Chloe [4:47pm]:** hey bec, where'd you run off to? didn't get a chance to talk to you about the set list… or choreo… or what you're wearing to the party tonight?! txt me back :)

Beca hated lying to the girls on her whereabouts, especially Chloe. But not everyone was in the dark. Stacie found out about the internship last week when Beca dropped the contents of her bag in the kitchen and her name badge fell out face up in clear daylight. She had scrambled to get to it before Stacie could see it, but failed, as the tall brunette snatched it up before she did. That event was followed by a lengthy conversation (and scolding) as to why she lied, why she kept it from Chloe, and Beca swearing Stacie not to say anything.

Unsure of which lie to tell this time, or why she was even keeping up the charade at this point, she sent a vague text back to the redhead. Mistake number one.

 **Beca [5:07pm]:** just had something to do. see you at the party later.

The second she hit send, she knew this would probably end in some sort of argument, so she opted to just shut her phone off for the rest of her shift. Mistake number two.

Beca ended up running into her boss in the break room where he proceeded to tell her she had nothing to say and was just like the rest of the interns, so what made her so different? She wasn't sure how to respond, so she shut down, and immersed herself into her work, helping to find the "next Justin Bieber" and to try and find a "new sound" for Snoop's next song. They screwed around on YouTube for most of the shift, which annoyed her to no end, and she had no idea the boss was going to keep them working on the same song until after 11 o'clock.

By the time Beca got home, it was after 11:30. She quickly changed into her Halloween costume. She was already wearing a black tank and black stockings from her previous outfit, so all she had to do was slip on her jean shorts, combat boots, and flannel shirt. She settled on the dark red velvet choker she had to match the red in her plaid shirt, and layered on her signature eyeliner look, going a little heavier than she normally would.

She slid her phone from the side pocket of her shoulder bag and realized it was still off, so she turned it back on and was bombarded with texts and voicemails. All of them from Chloe, an occasional one from Stacie and Jesse.

 **Chloe [6:33pm]:** hellooooo? earth to becaaaaa?

 **Chloe [7:45pm]:** beca beca beca beca becaaaaaa

If she was trying to be obnoxious, she had certainly succeeded. There were about 15 more texts just like this. As she scrolled on, the texts became less and less clear.

 **Chloe [10:57pm]:** for serres beca whew area your inn herring wuttoed?

Beca's eyes crossed while reading that one. What the hell was she even trying to say? She gave up, realizing the redhead was clearly inebriated and auto correct had epically failed her. She decided to listen to one of the voicemails. A very slurred, but surprisingly coherent message began to play.

" _Hello—oh! Hey Becs, it's me. Chloe. Umm it's like 9:30 or whatever—what? Oh—so it's like 10:30 and you're still not here. Or at the home—house. Whatever it's called. I made Stacie check…"_ She giggled at herself. _"You should hurry up though! We're having so much fun. Can't wait to see you! Hurry up. No wait… did I say that already? I don't remember. Okay bye!"_

Beca rolled her eyes and let out a little laugh, then slid her phone into her back pocket and made her way to the Treble house next door. Little did she know she was walking her way into World War III.

Another round of loud bangs tears her from her thoughts, startling her and causing her to jump. She grabs the curtain to recover her bearings, almost tearing it down in the process.

"Hurry up, Shawshank! I ain't got all day!" Amy shouts through the door again.

"Jesus Christ," Beca whispers to herself, placing her hand over her steadily racing heart. "Yeah, I'm coming!" she yells back.

Beca turns off the water and steps out of the shower, wrapping herself in her towel. After brushing her hair and teeth she scoops up all her clothes deciding to finish getting ready back in her room before Amy tries to break the door down. She opens the bathroom door and is greeted by a tangled mess of blonde hair, bloodshot eyes, and a whiff of what smells like bourbon, immobilizing her in her place.

"Amy," she says, acknowledging the girls presence. Amy stares her down and Beca suddenly feels vulnerable, standing cold and wet and half naked in the doorway.

"Shawshank," Amy responds, giving Beca a curt nod, then steps out of the way, motioning for her to pass. The brunette quickly scurries by. A sense of gratitude washes over her as she speed walks down the hall and locks herself in her room.

Beca begins to think back to the dream—or nightmare is more like it—from the night before. She's so desperately trying to wrap her head around what happened. Chloe died? And it felt so real. Beca rarely remembers her dreams, yet this one was so vivid and clear, and is now painfully etched in her brain.

So many aspects of the dream resembled real life events. Bella's practice, the open mic and karaoke nights. The fight. The only reason Beca knew what the inside of Chloe's childhood bedroom had looked like was from pictures the redhead had shown her from when she was a little girl. The only thing that just doesn't seem to add up are the relationships. _Her_ and _Chloe_. They were _together_ in this dream. Like… intimately. Beca winces, a pang of guilt sweeping over her as a piece of her dream flashes across her vision. She's seen the redhead naked before, so that's nothing new, but not like… _that._ She violently shakes her head trying to rid the image from her mind. But as she does so, another replaces it. She replays the look of horror on Chloe's face as the truck barrels into them. A vision of Chloe's mangled body in the hospital bed. The feeling of great sorrow she felt when the machines were unplugged.

Beca reaches up and wipes at the tears that are now streaking her face. She lets out a puff of air as she reminds herself that it was just a bad dream and none of it was real. Laughing it off, she finds herself reaching for the door and bursting down the stairs. She needs to see Chloe. She needs to feel her beneath her finger tips to truly know she's there. To help her separate this dream from reality.

She'll make sense of the rest later.

* * *

Chloe makes her way down the stairs feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. As she hops off the last step and rounds the corner of the stairs, the front door opens. A very tired and disheveled looking Stacie walks in holding her pumps in her hands. Regardless of the fact that she's probably hungover and coming back from a random hook-up, she doesn't seem ashamed at all. Chloe pauses to take her in. The leggy brunette's _never_ been ashamed now that she thinks of it. Chloe smiles because she admires the girl for being so comfortable with her sexuality and never caring what people think. She thinks she vaguely remembers Stacie calling it the "walk of un-shame" because she never has any regrets. Stacie locks her gaze on Chloe.

"Why are you so smiley, Red?" Stacie questions, a smirk creeping up on her lips.

"No reason. Just admiring your vivacious spirit after last night." She winks at the brunette. "I saw how much you drank." Stacie laughs, and quirks an eyebrow at her.

"That all?" she asks. "You and Beca finally kiss and make up?"

Chloe feels the blush hastily attack her cheeks. She knows she should be used to the teasing by now, as she's fairly good at dishing it out herself, but Stacie excels at making her uncomfortable. Which is the main reason why she loves the girl so much.

"Ha. Ha. No and yes," she responds, stepping further away from the stairs. "We made up but definitely no kissing. Don't be silly, Stace. You know it's not like that." Chloe nervously brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. Stacie eyes her, still smirking.

"Mhm. If you say so Chlo." The brunette spins on her heels and heads in the direction of her room.

"Oh, Stace. I um… I slept in your bed last night. So if you're wondering why it's all undone and whatever," Chloe pipes up and Stacie halts in her tracks.

"And I missed that?" The brunette says, hiking her brows. "Well, Chloe Beale, had I known this, I would have come home last night." She bites her bottom lip and winks, eliciting a solid red blush from Chloe's cheeks. Satisfied with this reaction, Stacie turns around and makes her way towards the bathroom. "Well, I'm off to the showers. Feel free to join if you'd like." She turns her head over her shoulder and shoots the redhead another seductive wink with a wave of her hand.

"That fucking woman…" Chloe mutters under her breath. She continues towards the kitchen and shuffles through the refrigerator, settling on pouring herself a glass of orange juice, taking a seat at the island. Pulling her phone from her back pocket, she places it on the counter and starts to sort through the insane amount of pictures from the night before.

The Treble's held their annual _Extreme Halloween Acapella Mixer._ Every year the Bellas pick a theme to dress up as. Last year was sexy M &M's (because, yes, that's a thing), and the year before was Disney Princesses, much to Beca's dismay and _strong_ protest. Chloe giggles to herself at the memory because Beca totally ditched the Cinderella costume she had picked out for her and actually showed up as one of the Seven Dwarves instead (take a wild guess which one). It was pretty hilarious, and such a Beca thing to do.

This year they all settled on a 90's theme since that's the decade they were all born in. They had done the 80's the last year Aubrey was here (naturally), so this was perfect. Chloe thought the 90's were some of the best years of her life (save the last 7 years or so being a Bella), and Beca was totally on board for this one. It was a win-win for everyone.

She decides to start at the beginning and attempts to sort them into an album, erasing the blurry and unflattering ones from existence. There's nearly 100 of them, most of which Chloe deems as "un-album worthy." She stops to admire some of the pictures here and there, thinking back to las night and how much fun she had spending probably her last Halloween with these girls.

Chloe hadn't really thought too much about it, but this would most likely be the year she finally spread her wings and left the coop. These girls and this organization have been the only thing she's really known for the past 6 plus years of her life, and everyone, minus Legacy, would be leaving come May. So long as they all pass their classes and don't intentionally fail like she had… three times. She pushes the thought of that away as she continues to scroll through her pictures.

She settles on one of her with CR, Jessica, Ashley, Amy, Flo, and Beca. Chloe beams at how happy everyone looks. She begins to reminisce as she continues to scroll.

 _Twelve AM is rolling around and Chloe has yet to see Beca. She's texted her like a million times and called her like a hundred more with no answer. She's wondering if the small brunette decided to just flake out on the party altogether. But, she wasn't even at the house when Stacie went over to check on her. Scanning the crowd, she spots Jesse and pushes her way past the drunk bodies to get to him._

 _"_ _Hey Jess! Jesse!" She calls out, holding her yellow cup up in the air in an attempt to get his attention, tripping over every obstacle in her path._

 _"_ _Oh, hey Chlo!" he calls back when he finally lays eyes on the source of where he's being beckoned from._

 _"_ _Hey," Chloe says again as she pushes past one last drunk Treble and stumbles into him. "Oh, sorry." Jesse catches her and helps her stand. "Where's Beca? Have you seen her? I haven't seen her and I tried calling and texting and she's not even answering me, Jess. Where'd she go?"_

 _Jesse just stares back at the redhead and smiles timidly._

 _"_ _Oh, uh, I thought she was with you?" he questions. Chloe looks confused._

 _"_ _But I thought she was with you?" She quirks an eyebrow at him. Now she's definitely confused. But before she can tell him how much sense he's not making right now, she's cut off by a tall (and very wasted) brunette who leans between her and Jesse to grab Chloe's face._

 _"_ _Baby Chlo-bear, come dance with meeeeee!" Stacie says in her best drunken baby voice, squishing Chloe's face. The redhead almost instantly forgets what she was talking about, grabs the tall girl by the hand and escorts her to the other side of the pool area to dance._

 _She's having herself a grand ole time, unsure of how long she's been dancing, but the dull ache in her quads indicate it's probably been a while. She reaches down to grab her phone from her pocket, but can't find it. She frantically starts searching, but comes up empty handed. A tap on her shoulder makes her swing around, ready for… she's not sure really. A fight? No, that's not like Chloe. She's met with the beaming face of Jessica._

 _"_ _Looking for this?" Jessica asks, holding up and wiggling Chloe's phone between her fingers._

 _"_ _Oh! Gimme that!" Chloe says, snatching it back from her hands like a small child._

 _"_ _Sorry, you left it over there," she says motioning to the refreshments table. "I guessed your password and took some pics. Hope you don't mind!" the blonde adds as she hurries away to the other side of the pool, probably to find Ashley._

 _Chloe looks up to the refreshments table area and catches a glimpse of who she thinks is Beca talking to CR, Amy, Flo, and Jesse. She wades her way back through the mob of aca people. When she gets there she shoves her phone into Jesse's chest._

 _"_ _Picture time!" she shouts. "Gather 'round aca bitches! You're either in or you're out!"_

 _Jesse just shakes his head and laughs, holding the phone up ready to shoot as Jessica and Ashley meander their way into the photo as well. After Jesse takes a series of photos, the girls break out into a fit of giggles. Chloe takes this opportunity to reach out to grab Beca._

 _"_ _Beca, where have you beeeeeeeeen?!" she shrieks, enveloping the brunette into a sloppy embrace. She can feel Beca tense up beneath her._

 _"_ _I, uh… told you Chlo, I just had somewhere to be…" Chloe backs off a little. She shakes her head side to side, as she slowly releases Beca from her grip. She's not sure why, but she feels offended. No she knows why. It's well after midnight and Beca has been MIA and ignoring her texts and calls all night._

 _"_ _You always have 'somewhere to be'…" she says, using finger quotes. "Where are you always running off to, Beca?" Beca's eyes widen. And Chloe might be drunk, but this doesn't go unnoticed._

 _"_ _What? Nowhere, Chlo. I just had some things I had to take care of is all… It's personal, okay?"_

 _"_ _Come on, Becs._ This _is our life here." Chloe motions to their surroundings._

 _"_ _No, Chloe. This is_ your _life. There's more important things than acapella and singing with the Bella's." Beca's face is stern and unmoving, indicating to Chloe that she's dead serious. She's close enough to catch the scent of tequila on the brunette's breath, and she wonders how long Beca has been here without her knowing. Her ears begin to prickle with heat._

 _"_ _What could be more important than this?!" Chloe's tone is beginning to rise now._

 _"_ _Nothing, Chlo. Forget it," Beca says as she tries to turn away._

 _"_ _No. You don't think we haven't noticed you've been a little checked out lately?" Chloe grabs hold of Beca's arm. She can feel the heat coursing through her veins now. She's only half aware of the crowd of people that are inevitably gathering around them, but sees as Stacie comes into view behind Beca._

 _"_ _Come on Beca, just tell her." Stacie nudges Beca from behind, pushing her to finally open up and be honest with everyone, including Chloe._

 _"_ _Tell me what?" Chloe yells, overhearing what Stacie said. Beca gives the tall brunette a death stare and rolls her eyes before turning back to look at Chloe._

 _"_ _Okay… I've been interning at a recording studio…" Chloe's eyes light up for a moment, because she's sure she should be proud of Beca, but then again, she's pretty sure she should be upset all at the same time._

 _"_ _Okaaayy…? So why did you feel the need to hide this from us?" Chloe asks._

 _"_ _Because you're obsessed! You all are!" Beca shouts, motioning to the rest of the Bellas now standing around them. "We're graduating and the only person thinking about life after the Bellas is me." She jabs her own finger into her chest._

 _"_ _What is so wrong with being focused on the Bellas?!" Chloe starts, feeling the tears rising up. "This has been my family for the last 6 years—"_

 _"_ _Yeah, 'cause you're too scared to leave! Sack up dude!" Beca shouts, inching closer to Chloe's face._

 _"_ _Okay, so you've been lying to us for… for months now, and now you're gonna flake out?! Now you're just gonna flake out? When Worlds are right around the corner and the sanctity of the Bella's institution is hanging by a thin wire?!" Chloe's frantically talking with her hands, and the tears are slowly making their way out._

 _"_ _Oh my God." Beca says, her words dripping with irritation. "Enough about the World's and the 'sanctity' of whatever already! I can't—I am out of here." She turns on her heels and starts to walk away._

 _"_ _Oh, so you're just gonna leave now. You're jus—"_

 _"_ _We all have to eventually, Chloe! It might as well be now!" Beca shouts back and continues walking, until she's left the yard altogether, making her way back to the Bellas house._

 _Chloe lets out a disgusted huff of air as the tears stream down her cheeks. She wipes away at them hastily, grabbing a shot of tequila off the table beside her and throwing it back. Slamming the shot glass back onto the table and refusing to make eyes contact with any of the other girls, she reaches out and grabs Stacie by the wrist dragging her back to the dance floor._

Chloe's brought back to the present when she hears what sounds like feet beating their way down the stairs. She looks at the picture that's currently up on her phone. It's of Beca and Jesse. Beca's got a red cup in her right hand with her left elbow resting up on Jesse's shoulder. Jesse's has his arm wrapped around her waist with a drink in his other hand. He's got this goofy smile on his face and his eyes are wide. Beca's just smiling one of those genuine happy smiles where her eyes and nose are all scrunched up. Then it hits her.

"Hey, Chlo. I—"

"Did he know?" Chloe interrupts, looking up from her phone to see Beca practically skipping into the kitchen. The brunette stops dead in her tracks as she processes the redhead's words.

"What?" Beca asks, confusion plastered on her face as she slowly inches her way closer to where Chloe is sitting.

"Did he know about the internship? Or was it just me in the dark?" she asks again.

"What are you talking about? Did who know?"

Chloe holds up the phone, showing Beca the picture.

"Jesse. You know… your _boyfriend_?"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here it is folks. The chapter from hell** **Just kidding lol I did have a really hard time writing this as it's a bit of a filler chapter of sorts, but it sets up some foundations and minor building blocks for future chapters. I had a lot of personal stuff happen recently that sort of derailed my writing process, so I apologize for the long wait.**

 **Shout out to my beta who pushed me when I needed it, but backed off when I didn't.**

 **Music in this chapter:**

 **Kesha vs Selena Gomez-Sleazy Birthday on YouTube by Kesha Brasil**

* * *

"Chloe…"

"Did he know?" the redhead asks again. Her brows are furrowed, her eyes swimming in a pool of tears. She glances down and blinks rapidly in an attempt to keep them at bay, hoping the brunette doesn't notice when their eyes meet again.

"Well… yeah. He—he did." Beca looks down at her bare feet because the look on Chloe's face screams offense and she doesn't want to do this all over again.

Chloe sits quietly staring at the top of Beca's head. She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, softly shaking her head. There's no sense in getting upset again. She understands that. It's just hard for her to fully wrap her mind around everything, and she'd be lying if she said the slate was wiped completely clean. Because she still, deep down, feels that ache clenching her insides that says she wasn't good enough to know. Is she overthinking this whole situation? Maybe. But, Chloe is an over-thinker. That's what she's good at. She feels so much. Maybe _too_ much sometimes.

"Beca," she breathes out, opening her eyes. "I'm not mad that he knew, okay?" The tiny brunette raises her eyes up to Chloe's now. She purses her lips to the side, biting the inside of her cheek. "He's your boyfriend. Of course he has a right to know." She looks down.

"Honestly, Chlo, he only knew because he was there when it all happened," Beca says. She shifts her weight to her other foot, waiting for Chloe to say something. Anything.

"So… are you gonna tell me?" Beca tilts her head to the side, confused by this question. She passes by Chloe and makes her way to the refrigerator, pulling out the carton of eggs, a package of bacon, and a bowl of grapes to snack on. It's a little after noon now and she's starving. Breakfast is the best remedy for a hangover. Especially bacon. Delicious, greasy bacon.

"Tell you what?" she asks, placing the items on the counter next to the stove, and reaching into the cabinet to take out a bowl and two plates, then sets the oven to preheat.

"How you found out. I wanna know how it all went down." Chloe gives a half smile in the brunette's direction, fully aware that it's not her most convincing gesture, but she really does want to know. She missed out on the initial reaction, the least Beca can do is tell her the story. "I want full details." Beca turns to look at her now, an egg in her hand. She leans her back into the counter. Chloe's staring at her like a kid waiting for Santa Claus and she finds it rather adorable.

"Well," she starts, "it's not that exciting, really. We were walking to a shift at the station when I got the call. It's not like I had much privacy. That's how he— _we_ found out," Beca says. Chloe gives her a warm smile. The kind that makes her eyes light up, telling her to keep going. So Beca places the egg down in the bowl and moves to the side of the island closer to Chloe, feeling more comfortable with the situation. She leans her elbows onto the island and puts her head in her hands. "I made myself look like a complete ass hat, Chlo." The redhead giggles.

"As opposed to every other day when you don't look like an ass hat?" Chloe laughs again because she can't see Beca roll her eyes, but she can totally feel it.

"Seriously, you would've ate that shit up. I couldn't form a normal sentence. I said things like 'stoked,' and 'Beca out!' Ugh, it was awful…" She digs the heels of her palms into her eyes and rubs aggressively.

"Wow. You're right. I would have _loved_ to witness that." Beca shoots her gaze sideways to find the redhead smiling so hard she might explode. She throws her hands down onto the island top, crossing them over each other and shoots a death glare in Chloe's direction.

"It's not funny, Beale."

"Oh, but it is," the redhead responds, moving to the edge of her seat. "It's _so_ funny. I'm terribly upset I wasn't able to see it firsthand." She lets out the belly laugh she was holding in and Beca groans in disapproval.

"Whatever dude." Beca tries to swipe Chloe's arm, but the redhead reacts quickly and grabs Beca by the wrist. She's taken by surprise as a smirk etches its way across her face. "What are you, a fucking ninja?" she asks just as Chloe yanks her towards her. Beca stumbles due to this sudden movement, their faces mere inches apart.

"In your dreams, Mitchell," the redhead whispers with a wink.

"Mmm nope. No dream talk. Not today," Beca says, shaking her head side to side as she straightens herself up, separating their faces, but keeping her body close to Chloe's. She breaks their eye contact, and Chloe makes a mental note to maybe try bringing this up again at a later time. Something happened that Beca isn't willing to open up about, and Chloe's curious as to what it could be.

Beca looks down to Chloe's hand wrapped around her wrist. She twists it free and holds Chloe's fingers in hers, rubbing her thumb swiftly over the girl's knuckles. It's warm, she thinks, and her heart smiles at the thought. She lifts her gaze up to the redhead's, unaware of the small smile creeping up on her face. Chloe's wearing a similar look, a light shimmer in her eyes, and Beca swears time stands still for a moment.

"Eh hem. Am I interrupting something here?"

Both girls jump and snap their attention to the direction of the voice. Stacie stands halted in the kitchen entryway with an amused grin on her face. Beca drops Chloe's hand and backs away, creating some space between them.

"Nope. Just making some breakfast," Beca replies as she runs her hands through her hair. She turns back to what she was doing before, picking up the egg and cracking it into the bowl. She sees Stacie begin to move in her peripheral vision as she reaches for another egg.

"So what's this talk about dreams? You know I'm a total slut for dreams," Stacie gushes. Beca smirks as she turns to look at the girl who's slowly making her way over to her.

"You're a slut for more than just dreams, Stace," she winks. "But no… no dream talk, 'kay?" Beca motions her eyes in Chloe's direction, out of the redheads' sight of course, and hikes her brows giving Stacie a look that she _hopes_ conveys the message that they can talk about it later, just not at this very moment. Stacie narrows her eyes, but nods and opts for changing the subject. Although, this interaction doesn't go unnoticed by Chloe, who's watching on in amusement.

"Oooo you're makin' bacon?!" Stacie coos. "I call dibs on some!" She's standing next to Beca now and reaches over the brunette, nonchalantly brushing her breasts across her arm, as she reaches for a grape in the bowl next to Beca. Beca just rolls her eyes as Stacie plops it into her mouth with a seductive wink before straightening herself up again.

Beca pulls open the drawer beneath the stove with her foot, then bends down and grabs a baking sheet. Reaching to the drawer on the right, she takes out the tinfoil and proceeds to line the sheet, then cuts open the package of bacon.

"So Stacie," Chloe pipes up, "how did you know?"

At this, Stacie spins on her heels and gives the redhead a questioning glare. Unsure of what the girl is asking she responds, "I'm sorry? Know what?"

"About the internship this one's been running off to the last couple of months," Chloe answers, pointing her finger at Beca's back. Beca freezes. Stacie looks over to the small brunette next to her for some sign that it's alright to proceed, but Beca just stares blankly at the slab of uncooked bacon sitting in front of her. "Last night it sounded a lot like you already knew… I was just wondering how you found out…" Stacie pauses before answering, getting nothing from Beca.

"Uhh… well um… she's like a total klutz and dropped her bag. I was helping her pick it up when I saw her name tag with the Residual Heat logo on it…" Stacie looks back to Beca, noting that she hasn't moved an inch since Chloe asked the question. Unsure if she's even breathing at this rate, she nudges the girl subtly with her elbow.

Beca picks up the bacon and continues to separate it onto the tinfoil lined baking sheet. Picking it up, she opens the preheated oven and places it inside, sets the timer, then turns back around to face Chloe.

"Yeah," she says nervously. "You know me… clumsy as they come." She waves her hands around then slaps them back down to her thighs, thoroughly aware that she just got bacon grease all over her good jeans, and waits for Chloe's response. She forgot that Stacie had found out about the internship beforehand, and that she was the one who basically threw her under the bus at last night's party. Great. Just one more thing for Chloe to be upset with her about. Beca looks up to meet Chloe's gaze, trying to read her expression. She finally lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding when the corners of the redhead's lips steal into a tight lipped smile.

"Yeah, you've never had grace on your side," Chloe giggles. "Alright," she says, as she slaps her hands on the table top and pushes her seat away from the island, "I'm gonna finish getting ready and shoot out a text to the rest of the girls reminding them practice is in less than an hour so wherever they are, they need to get their pretty little asses home, STAT. I'll be back in a jiffy!" She tilts her nose up, eyes closed, and takes in a deep whiff of the aromas filling the kitchen. "Mmmm. Smells amazing already, Becs." And, in an instant, she's on her feet and bounding up the stairs.

Beca turns her attention back to breakfast, taking the skillet from the bottom cabinet and turning on the burner. She adds some olive oil to the bottom of the pan, then makes her way past Stacie, who is still standing a little too close for comfort, over to the spices cabinet. She decides on sea salt, garlic powder, and marjoram, then closes the cabinet and turns to head back to her work space. She stops when she sees that Stacie's moved, but only further into her territory, and she's staring directly at Beca with a pleased grin on her face. The leggy woman pops another grape into her mouth, crunching down loudly. Beca walks to the counter and nudges Stacie aside with her hip, placing the spices onto the counter.

"You know, if you're not gonna help, you can at least get out of my way," she says, flipping the top to the garlic powder and adding a few dashes to the eggs.

"What's the matter, Mitchell? You don't like when I'm all up in your space?" Stacie asks with a smirk, warranting a sideways scowl from the smaller girl. Stacie throws her hands up in innocence. "Alright, fine. I'll move." She makes her way over to the seat Chloe had previously occupied, and throws herself down into it, crossing her never ending legs over one another, then pulls out her nail file.

Beca finishes mixing the spices into the eggs and slowly pours them into the skillet. She picks up a rubber spatula from the jar on the counter, and begins to slowly fold them over, sitting in comfortable silence for what feels like the first time all morning.

Beca's always enjoyed cooking, especially breakfast. It's her favorite meal of the day. Cooking has always been a great stress reliever for her ever since her dad left when she was little, it being something her and her mom would do together. She smiles thinking back to the memories of when she first learned how to make scrambled eggs and mac and cheese. And then to when she was a little older and her mom trusted her better with a knife, teaching her how to properly slice an onion without crying. She closed her eyes, remembering the day so vividly.

" _Mom, why is it physically impossible to cut an onion without your eyes watering? Ugh!" Beca scoffs, as she places the knife back onto the counter and buries her face into the corner of her elbow, ineffectively trying to dull the burning sensation._

 _Her mom looks up at her from across the kitchen island where she was slicing peppers to add to the salad. Placing her own knife down, she smiles and wipes her hands on her apron._

" _I'm sorry baby," she says, as she makes her way around the island to her daughter's side. "I completely forgot to show you my trick." She reaches into the bag of onions pulling out a new one, and nudges Beca to the side with a gentle hip check. Beca hops off the stool she was standing on for better leverage (hey, she's only 12 and just over 4 feet tall. Stools are necessary). Janice places the onion on the cutting board and picks up the knife. "First, you cut the ends off," she says as she does just that. She tosses them into the garbage disposal in the sink, then begins to peel the skin off. "Then you do this," she adds, as she turns the cold water on and runs the onion under the steady stream, rubbing it clean for about 10 seconds._

 _Janice places the onion back down on the cutting board, wiping her hands dry on her apron again. She turns on her heels, crossing the kitchen, and begins rummaging through the notorious junk drawer. Beca looks confused when she comes back with a pack of gum in her hand. Taking out four sticks, handing two to Beca and placing the other two into her mouth._

" _Now, listen up, because this will be the only time I will_ ever _allow this," she states, pointing a finger in her daughter's face, "but you have to chew with your mouth open," she finishes as she picks the knife back up and begins to slice the onion, chewing like a cow. Once she's diced half, she puts the knife back down and turns to Beca. "Your turn."_

 _Beca smiles, places the two pieces of spearmint gum into her mouth, hops back up on her stool and begins to slice away, chewing ravenously. She looks up at her mother, who has resumed her spot across from her and smiles because it's totally working. She's met with a wink from Janice and a warm, teeth-bearing smile._

Beca's drawn from her memory when the oven begins to beep, indicating that the bacon is done. She looks down at the eggs that are beginning to brown and shuts off the stove. Using the rubber spatula, she scoops the eggs out onto one of the plates. Retrieving the oven mitt from one of the drawers, she opens the oven, assaulted by a gust of warm air that smells like heaven, pulls out the sheet and places it on the burners not being used.

Picking up the plate of eggs, Beca turns on her heels and places it onto the island, then turns back to her area. She grabs a few paper towels and lines the next plate, then reaches for the pair of tongs in the jar.

"I love watching you cook, Becs, but you almost burnt these eggs. Where's that pretty little head of yours this morning? You looked deep in thought for a second there," Stacie says, grabbing a piece of egg off the plate with her fingers, warranting a slap to the back of her hand. Beca just smiles at the yelp she receives from the taller girl, and hands a fork over to her.

"I was thinking about how I used to cook with my mom. Just got a little lost in the memory I guess," she answers. Beca loves that specific memory with her mom because it was the first time she truly looked at her as more than just a mother figure. She looked at her as her friend. Maybe even her best friend. Her first and only best friend, that is, until the Bellas and Chloe came along. Beca lets out a short laugh. She knows she was never good at making friends as a kid.

Stacie swallows a mouthful of scrambled eggs. "What is this green stuff in here anyway?" she asks, examining the eggs speared on the end of her fork before placing it into her mouth.

"It's marjoram."

"What the hell is that?"

"It's an herb," Beca replies.

"Could you be _any_ more specific?" Stacie states sarcastically.

"It's like part of the oregano family or something…" Stacie stares Beca down.

"Well, whatever. It's good. It's like your special little touch." Beca smiles. "So are you gonna tell me about that dream now? Or ya gonna leave me hangin' again?" Stacie cuts in. Beca finishes transferring the bacon from the baking sheet to the plate, blotting the grease before answering.

"I dunno, Stace," she sighs. "I don't even know where to start." Beca turns to look at her, leaning back into the counter.

"Usually the beginning is a good place," Stacie taunts, and Beca rolls her eyes.

She wants to tell Stacie everything that happened, she's just not sure she wants her to know _everything_. She takes a deep breath and opens her mouth to speak, but she's cut off when the sound of multiple feet making their way down the stairs hits her ears. Chloe walks back into the kitchen now accompanied by Amy, Jessica, Ashley, and Flo.

"Oooo bacon!" Jessica says as she reaches out and grabs a piece.

Beca looks back to Stacie and mouths "maybe later?" and shrugs her shoulders. She proceeds to take out enough plates for everyone so they can all put something into their bellies before leaving for practice.

* * *

"So what's it like? The internship?" Cynthia Rose asks as she pulls her chair over towards the piano where Beca's setting up her laptop. She straddles it backwards and folds her arms over the back, resting her chin on the top of her hand. Her eyes are lit up and a grin stretches across her face a mile wide.

"Yes, tell us what it's like, Beca," Flo chimes in, pulling her own chair over and leaning forward. The rest of the girls begin to do the same, surrounding the small brunette.

Beca skips from face to face as they all stare her down anxiously awaiting for her to share the ins and outs of her internship. A small smile cracks at the corners of her mouth.

"Come on Shawshank, spill the beans," Amy pipes up from the back of the group. "We want all the gooey details," she says, followed by a chorus of "yeah's" and "come on's."

The brunette raises her eyes up to behind the group to find Chloe peering at her from over her shoulder. The redhead hasn't joined them, but instead is unloading a box of props over by the bleachers. She gives Beca a small smile and a gentle nod that says she's listening. So, Beca drops her hands from where they rest on her laptop and opens her posture to the group of girls sitting in front of her in a semi-circle, much like preschoolers at story time.

"Well, it's pretty cool… and not cool all at the same time," she starts. "I mean, I basically just get burritos and make people coffees most of the time… but lately I've been doing a lot more music-wise." She pauses and looks down at her feet.

"Have you met anyone famous?" She looks up to meet the smirk across Stacie's face and a subtle wink. Beca smiles and shakes her head, because the tall brunette knows full well who Beca's been working with since she drilled her hardcore on the details last week.

"Yeah," she replies, "actually, I have." She laughs as the room is filled with gasps and the occasional "oh my God!"

"Who?!" Emily shrieks.

"Yeah, who have you met, Becs?" Beca lifts her gaze from Emily to Chloe, who's now pulling her chair over and making herself comfortable. The redhead's wearing a puzzled expression. The one that Beca loves. That one when she purses her lips to the side and furrows her brows. It's almost more playful than concerned, and Beca can't help but smile at her.

"Well… we're kinda working with Snoop Dogg on his new Christmas album…" The room is filled yet again with gasps.

"For serious?!" Chloe asks. "Like, _the_ Snoop D-O-double G?!" Beca can't help but laugh at how ridiculous her best friend just sounded.

"Yeah, Chlo. The one and only," she responds.

"That's so cool, Beca! But… didn't he already drop a Christmas album back in '08?" CR asks, and Beca nods.

"I guess he's just looking for something different. A 'new sound.'" She wraps the last words in finger quotes and rolls her eyes, shrugging her shoulders. "But, it's all pretty cool… I guess."

"You guess? Seriously, Beca? You're working with Snoop Dogg, and you _guess_ it's pretty cool? That's so awesome." Jessica chirps from behind Emily, Ashley nodding her head energetically in agreement beside her.

"Don't forget the best part of the story, Becs," Stacie says, dropping the act of pretending she knows none of the details. Beca shoots her a knowing glare. She wishes the brunette would keep her mouth shut. But honestly, what's the sense in keeping the rest of the details hidden from them now? They all know where she's running off to and they now know who she's working with.

Chloe looks from Beca to Stacie and then back to Beca. "What's the best part?" she asks. Beca looks down at her feet and pretends to kick at something on the floor. She's never been one to brag about herself, and this sort of stuff makes her super uncomfortable.

"Well I was kind of picked to be the intern that works with him on mixing and producing some of the new tracks to, you know, like… get my feet wet…"

"Aaaannddd…?" Stacie asks, urging Beca to continue. All eyes are on her.

"And… they may—or may not—use my voice on one of the tracks…" She's not sure how it happened, but in an instant, she's being bowled over and tackled to the floor by an overly enthusiastic redhead, who apparently developed a strange knack for speed overnight. "Ow! Jesus Christ, Chloe! What the hell are you doing?!" she yelps.

"Beca! That is the most amazing news I have ever heard in my whole entire life!" Chloe shouts, her voice muffled from the crook of Beca's neck. The brunette is mildly aware of the awkward position they're now in. Beca's flat on her back and Chloe's flush on top of her, her knees on either side of the brunette's hips, and her arms wound tightly around her neck, slightly cutting off her oxygen supply.

"Good God. Get a room, would ya?" she hears Stacie say. Beca taps Chloe's back two times, submitting to the chokehold.

"Chlo. Can't. Breathe."

"Shit. Sorry." Chloe releases her grasp, placing her hands on either side of Beca's head. She's staring down at the tiny brunette beneath her with a look of wonderment in her eyes. It's clearly written across her face how proud she is. Beca looks back at her and smiles, wondering how this crazy redhead managed to break through so many of her walls to get to where they are today. Literally, in this position. Because Beca would never let anyone get this close to her in a million years, let alone straddle and practically strangle her.

Chloe lets out a tiny giggle then leans down and peppers the brunette's face with kisses.

"Agh! Gross, Chloe. Get off!" Beca thrashes her head from side to side in avoidance and squirms beneath the girl, trying and failing miserably to push the redhead off of her. Finally, Chloe rolls to the side and stands up, giggling. She lends her hand out for Beca to take and helps the girl up. Beca wipes herself off and shoots the redhead a daggered scowl, receiving a wink and the same butt wiggle she got during their first hood night in return as Chloe walks off back towards the bleachers clapping her hands to round the Bellas up for another day of crazy prop filled choreography.

As the girls reluctantly make their way over, Beca's bombarded with hugs and pats on the back in congratulations. She smiles and thanks them all, then turns back to her laptop, puts her headphones on, and begins to work her magic on the set list.

She's successfully mixed some downbeats to a couple songs after about an hour when she looks up to find the rest of the girls jogging up and down the bleachers with Chloe trailing behind barking orders to keep their knees high, or to keep the pace. Beca's about to speak up when she realizes she's getting out of cardio right now and she should probably keep her mouth shut to leave it that way. She hates cardio. So, she minds her business and just keeps to herself in her own little world in her own little corner of the auditorium.

After a few minutes Beca looks up to find Chloe arguing with Amy (who's now tucked herself between the rows of the bleachers) about how "horizontal running" isn't a thing. An argument that's taken place _every_ cardio day for the past _three_ years. Beca starts laughing to herself. Maybe a little louder than she thought as Chloe's head spins around to catch her gaze. Beca drops her eyes and bites the inside of her cheek to keep her smirk at bay. But it's too late. She's been spotted.

Chloe's mouth is moving, but she can't hear anything she's saying through the music that's still streaming through her headphones. Beca points to her ears and makes a face, shrugging her shoulders. She mouths "can't hear you," and sends a wink in the redhead's direction.

"Excuse you!?" Chloe yells, causing Beca to jump. Well she definitely heard that. Slightly frightened, she removes her headphones from where they rest on her ears. "And what do you think _you're_ doing, Mitchell?" Chloe asks, crossing her arms and squaring her body in Beca's direction.

"Uh—um. Well I'm… working on the set list?" Beca responds, pointing to her laptop.

"Mhm. Likely story. You think you can just get out of cardio unlike everyone else?" Chloe's eyes twinkle and the corner of her mouth twitches indicating to Beca that she's trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, um, not fair," Amy pipes up from her horizontal position in between the bleachers. She's struggling to stand up now. Chloe turns to help her, just as Amy teeters over the top of the seat, loses her footing, falling forward and leveling Chloe out onto the ground, smashing their heads together in the process.

Beca throws her headphones onto her laptop and runs to Chloe's aide. The redhead is rubbing the side of her head where it collided with Amy's forehead, but she's giggling.

"Shit, Chloe. Are you okay?" Beca asks, kneeling down next her best friend on the ground. She reaches out her hand to touch the small egg that's already forming just above the girl's hairline.

"Yeah, Becs. I'm fine." Chloe giggles again and looks over at Amy.

"I'm fine, too. Thanks for asking," Amy snaps in Beca's general direction. But she's not paying attention.

"Are you sure?" Beca asks, looking directly at Chloe. The redhead turns to look back to her.

"Yes, Beca. I'm fine. It's just a bump. I'm not brain dead." Beca's heart sinks into the pit of her stomach and her face falls at these words. Chloe sees this reaction and reaches out her hand to grab the brunettes' in hers. "Hey. Seriously, Becs. I'm okay." She cranes her neck down to meet Beca's eyes and smiles. Beca smiles back, timidly. Chloe drops her hands and pushes herself up off the floor, Beca following a split second behind her, brushing off her knees, and clapping her hands together.

"Alright ladies. I'm calling it for today," Beca calls out.

"No, Beca. That's not necessary. We still have 45 minutes left," Chloe retorts, rubbing at the tender spot on her head and looking down at the time on her phone. Beca scoots forward, placing her hands over the redhead's elbows and speaks in a tone low enough only for Chloe to hear.

"Chlo, I think everyone's had enough for today, don't ya think?" Chloe peers over her shoulder at the motley crew that's lining the bleachers. Half of them are hunched over, out of breath, and the other half look to be on the verge of passing out. "Plus, I really think we should get some ice on this," Beca says, looking up at the bump that's now starting to purple over.

"Alright, fine," Chloe sighs, rolling her eyes in defeat and turning to get her stuff together.

At this, the rest of the Bellas drag themselves off of the bleachers, letting out small, barely audible cheers of relief. They gather their belongings and begin to make their way out of the auditorium one by one. Beca takes her time putting her things away and hangs back to walk home with Chloe.

Once back at the house, Beca pulls a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and hands it to Chloe. The redhead thanks her and places it on her head, leaning her elbows forward onto the countertop.

"Stop looking at me like that," Chloe says when she catches Beca staring at her all concerned. "I'm gonna be fine. I just have a slight headache is all."

"You probably have a concussion and you really should lie down," Beca says. She's rummaging through the medicine cabinet for some Tylenol. She shakes two pills into her hand and holds them out for Chloe to take, then fills a glass with water. Chloe reluctantly takes the pills and swallows them down.

"We didn't hit that hard, Beca. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Well, I think you should take it easy for a while anyway. Just to be sure," she shrugs and furrows her brows. Grabbing Chloe's free hand, she leads her into the living room to the couch and plops her down. The redhead settles in, resting her head back and closes her eyes, clutching tightly to the peas on her head. Settling down next to her, Beca reaches up and takes the bag away. "You should really have a towel or something over your skin so you don't freeze your face off," she says. Chloe opens one eye and raises her brow.

"You sound like my mother, Beca." She steals the bag again and puts it back to her head. "Stop being such a worry wart. It's really damaging to your badass image." A smile cracks at the corner of her lips. Beca just scoffs and pushes herself up from the couch heading back into the kitchen, coming back moments later with a small dish towel.

"Here," she says, lifting the bag again, wrapping it in the towel, and placing it back where it was. Chloe sighs heavily, then opens her eyes to look up at the girl standing behind the couch looking down at her.

"Thank you," she whispers. "You don't have to take care of me, you know. I'm capable of doing this myself." Beca just smiles and makes her way back around the couch to sit next to her again. Chloe straightens herself up, lifting her head from the couch slowly, taking note at how unusually heavy it feels. Maybe she does have a mild concussion. But she won't give Beca that satisfaction. Not yet. She turns to face the small brunette now. "I appreciate it though, you helping me."

"It's fine, Chlo. You'd do the same for me." Beca smiles back at the redhead, then looks over her shoulder at the time on the microwave. "So, I'm gonna stay here with you tonight. To make sure you don't like… die in your sleep or something." She looks down at her hands. "That can apparently happen when you're concussed. I just wanna make sure you're alright."

"What? No, I can't let you do that, Becs," Chloe responds. "You're supposed to hang with Jesse tonight. I won't let you stay." Beca rolls her eyes and brushes off her comments.

"Oh, shush, Chloe. It's not up for debate. Besides, Jesse doesn't get off from the station until late, so we were just gonna watch a boring movie, anyway. I'll just tell him what happened. He'll understand."

"There's seven other people that live in this house that could check on me if need be. And I'm sure Legacy would come at the drop of a hat if you asked her to. She totally sweats your balls, for the record."

"Dude, gross," Beca shakes her head side to side and scrunches up her nose, then stands to go grab herself a glass of water from the kitchen. She hears Chloe giggle softly as she walks away, then calls back to her, "it's a non-issue, Chlo. I'm staying."

Chloe wonders where this shift in attitude from the other woman is stemming from, but brushes it off for now, because the pounding in her head is only getting worse. Deciding to succumb to the fact that her brat of a best friend might be right, she allows her to drag her up the stairs and into her bed without a single protest for the rest of the night.

Back in their room, Beca sits at her desk playing around on her laptop while Chloe lays in bed behind her just watching. The lights are off, making it difficult for Beca to really see what she's doing, but Chloe's headache is only getting worse, and the overhead lights weren't helping. They attempted to catch up on some Orange is the New Black on Netflix, but the flickering of the TV screen was making it hard for the redhead to pay attention, thus rendering it pointless. They eventually gave up and now Beca's working on a random mix to add to Chloe's birthday playlist. She's made one every year for the redheads birthday and decided to get a head start on this year's. Occasionally, she'll peek behind her to find Chloe heavy eyed, but still awake and still smiling. She takes out her phone now and sends a quick text to Stacie.

 **Beca [6:48pm]:** hey stace. how's amy?

 **Stacie [6:49pm]:** she's totally fine. she's not even complaining. she said she wants to go out lol

 **Beca [6:49pm]:** haha good to hear. i guess chlo took the brunt of the impact. she's pretty useless right now. i'm gonna keep an eye on her tonight.

 **Stacie [6:50pm]:** okay. i'm going out for a bit but won't be drinking or anything so let me know if you guys need anything and i'll be there :-*

 **Beca [6:51pm]:** thanks stace but i think we're okay. have fun and be safe! see you tomorrow.

She places her phone back onto her desk after receiving one last text from Stacie with about 15 different emoji's ranging from every color heart to all the kissy faces and a couple cats.

Sitting back in her chair, she presses play to listen to what she's done so far. The opening beats of Selena Gomez's "Birthday" starts to play and Kesha's vocals to "Sleazy" begin over the top of that. Closing her eyes, she begins to nod her head up and down. She likes what she's come up with.

Her phone lights up and buzzes with a text, getting her attention. Looking at the name across the top, she quirks an eyebrow and opens the text.

 **Chloe [6:55pm]:** whatcha doin

Beca smirks and shakes her head before replying.

 **Beca [6:56pm]:** working on a mix

 **Chloe [6:56pm]:** the set for worlds?

 **Beca [6:56pm]:** nope. it's super top secret. you can't know

She giggles when Chloe sends back three crying, sad faces.

 **Beca [6:57pm]:** you'll see. you just have to wait… until a certain day… in a few more months…

 **Chloe [6:57pm]:** oooooohhh thatttttt. okay i can wait : )

 **Chloe [6:58pm]:** but can you come here? i need you : (

Beca shakes her head again as she locks her phone and spins her chair to face the redhead.

"What's up, Chlo?" she asks. Chloe places her own phone back onto her side table, then looks to Beca.

"Am I allowed to sleep now? I'm getting really sleepy and it's hard for me to keep my eyes open…" She's cut off by her own yawn. Beca stands and makes her way towards Chloe.

"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, of course you can. It's been like… four hours since you hit your head. You should be good to sleep now. I'm sorry, Chlo. I didn't mean to scare you with all that 'you might not wake up' crap." She sits on the edge of Chloe's bed, and reaches up her hand to brush the tuft of hair off of Chloe's forehead, revealing her black and blue bump. "Get some sleep, okay? I'm right here. I'll make sure you're alright." She smiles down at the redhead who smiles faintly back, before closing her eyes and immediately knocking out like the overhead lights.

Getting up slowly so as not to wake the redhead, Beca makes her way back to her desk and begins to work on the next mix for Chloe's playlist.

* * *

The sun breaks through the crack in the curtains and forms a line that runs diagonally across the redhead's face. Beca sits in pure (exhausted) contentment as she watches the mound beneath the covers gently rise and fall with every breath. She lets out a rather large, uncontrollable yawn, and stretches her arms high above her head. Standing from her desk chair, she slowly makes her way over to her own bed and sits down, placing her head into her hands.

She's not sure she slept a wink last night. After learning about concussions and how you really shouldn't fall asleep (due to the fact that you might not wake up) in her neuro class, and of course the nightmare at the back of her mind, she just didn't dare close her eyes and lose any precious seconds.

Rising from the edge of her bed, she slowly creaks the door open and quietly makes her way to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, she pours some water from the Britta filter and places it down. She picks up the bottle of Tylenol already sitting on the counter and pops the top off, shaking two pills into her hand. The redhead has been sleeping for well over 12 hours now and is bound to wake soon, so Beca makes her way back up the stairs with the water and Tylenol, placing them on the side table next to Chloe's alarm clock.

The clock reads 7:57a.m. She's been awake for more than 24 hours at this point, maybe getting a blink in here and there throughout the night. She can't begin to fathom the fatigue that's beginning to wash over her body. It's only Sunday morning and she's already thinking about her class at 8am Monday. ' _Yeah, that's not happening_ ,' she thinks to herself. Her eyes dart over to the calendar on Chloe's wall that has her class schedule etched out in red marker. Chloe doesn't have classes on Monday, that lucky bitch.

Chloe doesn't have many classes at all actually, if we're getting technical. She's attempting to pass Russian Lit for the fourth time, and has to take two other nonsensical courses in order to maintain her full-time status to be a Bella. So, the redhead takes a total of three measly classes. And not just any classes. Three of the easiest classes known to man. Russian Lit (which she should be a pro at by now), Intro to Women's Studies, and Intro to World Music. What kind of actual bullshit is that?

Beca giggles to herself as she lies her head down on her pillow in an attempt to possibly ease her exhaustion by resting her muscles. Just as her eyes begin to flutter shut, she's jolted back to consciousness as she hears Chloe begin to rustle around under the blankets, making squeaky noises as she stretches awake. The brunette turns her head to find the redhead still lying down, but her eyes are open and she's smiling right at her.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Beca asks, sitting herself back up to the edge of her bed, her voice raspy. Chloe finishes her yawn before answering.

"I'm okay. Just a little groggy and have a pretty slammin' headache." She reaches up to touch the egg that's still making its' home on her forehead and winces.

"I figured," Beca says, smirking at the girl's response.

She had her own experience with a concussion when she was 9 and fell from the tree in the backyard that she wasn't supposed to be climbing. The memory of the throbbing sensation and the sensitivity to light and sounds that lasted for days after is something she will always remember.

"I um… I got you some stuff there," Beca says, pointing to the items placed on the side table. Chloe peers over and slowly sits herself up so she can swallow the pills and drink the water without choking. That's the last thing they all need right now. Swallowing a big gulp, Chloe thanks her then squeezes her eyes shut. A few moments pass before Beca speaks up.

"Is it fair to say 'I told you so' now?" she asks, keeping her voice low. Chloe opens her eyes and gives her a death stare.

"You're really full of yourself, you know that?" she teases, and Beca just shrugs her shoulders, smiling back at her. Chloe lets out a small giggle. "You take _one_ class about the brain and all of a sudden you're a neuro genius."

"That's not true," Beca counters. "I'm just a genius." Chloe groans and rolls her eyes, throwing the covers off of her legs and placing her feet on the floor. She braces herself with her arms and stretches her neck side to side. Beca watches her as she gets out of bed and walks to her closet, grabbing some clothes and heading for the door. Stopping just before she leaves, she turns back to look at the brunette, who has now tucked herself under her own blankets.

"It's Sunday, Becs. Aren't you coming to the store with us?" she asks. This time Beca is interrupted by her own yawn.

"Yeah… no. I didn't sleep well last night. I think I'll stay home and catch some Z's," she replies. "If you're feeling up to it, you should go." Another big yawn creeps up on her and she rubs her eyes.

"Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Can you just get more stuff for pancakes? We're all out," Beca replies, never opening her eyes. "Oh! And do me a favor?" She asks before the redhead slips out the door. Chloe just eyes her before she continues. "Don't hurt yourself, 'kay? I can't lose anymore sleep over you…"

"Sure thing." Chloe winks. "See you when we get back," she says as she closes the door and makes her way down the hall to get ready.

Every Sunday, the girls have made it a tradition to do the grocery shopping in the mornings. Cramming themselves into the backs of Stacie's and Jessica's cars, they fill the trunks with enough goodies to last them the weeks' worth of classes and Bella's practices. Beca's always been the front runner, being the chef of the bunch, but not today. She's dead tired and the thought of even standing at this point is causing her physical pain.

Letting out a groan, Beca rolls herself over to face the wall, pulling the blankets up and over her head in an attempt to block out the rays peering in from the windows. She hasn't slept since the bad dream, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't trying to fight it off. It was all so real and so… intense. She's scared if she falls asleep, the visions will rush back, and she's not sure she can handle that. She's still trying to process some of the _other_ aspects of that dream.

She can hear the other girls scampering around in the hallway and downstairs as they get ready. Being half asleep, she's not sure, but she thinks she hears her name come from some of their mouths. Probably asking where she is and why she's not coming. The front door creaks open and it gets quieter as they funnel out into the cars. Sighing deeply, she finally settles into her pillow, knowing that she's been left alone in the house, probably for the first time in the time she's been living here.

Just as she's starting to doze off, the door slams open causing her to practically jump out of her skin.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Stacie. Was that necessary?" she mumbles into her pillow.

"How'd you know it was me?" Stacie asks.

"Because who else would bust through a door like the fucking Kool-Aid man at 8 in the morning?"

"Umm… Amy… maybe Flo… _definitely_ Chloe…" she trails off, tapping her finger to her chin as she thinks.

"Alright, I get it." Beca rolls over to face the tall Amazon woman standing in her doorway, blankets tucked up under her chin and one eye open, well aware that this chick isn't about to let her go to sleep any time soon. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you go shopping with the girls?"

"Because Chloe said you weren't going," Stacie replies. Beca just purses her lips and squints her eyes. Mainly in an attempt to keep them from completely closing on her, but partially because she knows Stacie's a smart girl, like really fucking smart, but damn it, sometimes she can be so dimwitted.

"Yeah… you're gonna need to be a little more specific there, Stace. That doesn't answer my question. Like… at all."

Stacie bounds across the room and Beca instinctively pushes her entire body towards the wall to make room for… all of that.

"Because," she huffs as she throws herself down on the bed next to Beca. She yanks the covers down and sticks her long legs underneath, snuggling up next to the tiny brunette. All this unnecessary movement warrants a groan of disapproval from Beca. "We need to talk," Stacie finishes, her voice just above a whisper. She props her head up on her hand and stares down at the other girl.

"About what?" Beca asks, and Stacie narrows her gaze.

"The _dream_ , Beca? Yesterday you said 'maybe later,' and now it's later. So spill."

Beca rolls over onto her back, shuddering as the back of her bare arm rests against the cold wall. Knitting her fingers together, she rests her hands onto her abdomen and begins to toy with her thumbs, sighing heavily.

"Okay," she starts. "So… I had this dream…"

"Yeah, we've already established this. Let's get to the important part first. So, was I in it?!" Stacie butts in excitedly, warranting a side glance from Beca, who smiles and nods, going along with the girl's inane antics.

"Of course you were. All of the girls were, but you were a big part of it. An important part," she answers, resulting in a beaming Stacie.

"Awww," Stacie coos. "Okay, get to the good part already," she says, nudging Beca's shoulder, who sighs and closes her eyes before beginning. "I want all the juicy details. I need to know why you acted so weird when it was brought up yesterday morning."

Beca shakes her head before she begins. She's not sure where to start, or even how. She's not sure she even wants to rehash the specifics, because the pain of it all will return. And she knows it was just a dream, but she's left with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thinks about it, and it's unsettling.

"It was just a really crazy dream, and a lot of things happened. Crazy things. And there were all these emotions and weird feelings, and it was so… extreme and… and intense? And so real… it felt _so_ real, Stace." She turns to look at the other girl who's watching her intently, her brows reaching for each other. Tears begin to well up in her eyes and she looks away again. She feels so vulnerable in this moment. The lack of sleep she got the night before isn't helping much either. Yeah, let's go with that.

"Beca…" Stacie whispers. "What happened?"

"She died, Stacie. She was there. And then she wasn't." Those tears start to pool and she tries to blink them away, but fails as a lone tear trickles its way down her cheek. Her bottom lip juts out in a pout she can't fight off as she tries to will her tears away.

"Who did, Becs? Who died?"

"Chloe," she answers. "We were fighting because of the internship and then there was the truck and she was on life support and you were there and her parents and Aubrey—"

"Jesus, Beca. Slow down. You're not making any sense." Stacie reaches out and grabs one of Beca's hands that's flailing as she speaks trying to calm her. The smaller girl stops to look at her as another tear streams down her face in the same trail the one before it made. "Let's start again. So, you and Chloe fought about you keeping the internship from her?" Beca nods. "Okay. And then something about a truck? And life support?" Beca nods again.

"We were fighting because she didn't think she could trust me to not…" Beca catches herself. She can't tell Stacie that dream Chloe didn't think she could trust dream Beca to not cheat on her. No, that would be crazy. Because then it would give it away that dream Beca and dream Chloe were together, and Stacie would think Beca had feelings for Chloe. And that would be even crazier, right? Of course she can't say that, because Stacie thinks she's some sort of oneirocritic and will read too far into it. "She um… she didn't think she could trust me… to never lie to her again." She shrugs her shoulders. "And we were yelling and I wasn't paying attention. The truck just came out of nowhere and slammed into our car on Chloe's side. I was okay, but Chloe was so messed up. The doctor said she was brain dead. And then her parents came, and Aubrey. And they spent all their time convincing me that we needed to pull the plug." She looks up to the ceiling now.

"Well," Stacie whispers, and for the first time, she's not sure what to say. She's having a hard time watching her friend break down in front of her over something like this. "That definitely sounds like an emotional roller coaster." Beca just silently nods her head. There's a slight pause before Stacie pipes up. "So, did you at least tell her you loved her before she kicked the bucket?" Beca whips her head to face Stacie.

"Wh—what?"

"Oh, come on, Beca. I'm not actually stupid. I can read between the lines here." She winks. "It's cool, you know. If that's how you feel. I totally ship it."

"You what?"

"I ship it. That means I like the idea of you two together."

"No. No, I know what it means." Beca shakes her head. "It wasn't like that. In the dream… It's not like that, Stacie. I have a boyfriend."

"And what does he think about all of this?"

"About all of what?" Beca asks, confused.

"About the dream… Or did you not tell him?"

"I—I… No. I didn't tell him. Why would I tell him?"

"Because there's nothing to hide, right? It was just a crazy sad dream where your best friend died… right?" Beca ponders this thought.

"Well… yeah," she responds.

"Okay. So where's the problem?"

"I just… well I haven't really… we haven't really talked… since the other night…" Stacie quirks her brow, a smirk running across her face.

"You haven't talked to your boyfriend since _Friday_?" Stacie questions.

"Yeah—I mean no. We've like texted a little. He's just been busy with work and Treble's practices and school stuff…"

"Mhmm."

"I didn't ask you for relationship advice, Stacie," Beca spits out, starting to get defensive.

"Didn't you?" Stacie fires back with a shit eating grin. Beca just rolls her eyes.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

Stacie can see Beca starting to shut down and close herself off. She knows this is a defense mechanism the smaller girl has always used, so she decides not to push any further.

"So… what was I in this dream?" Stacie inquires, hoping this will change Beca's demeanor. Thankfully, it does.

"You were my rock," she answers in a hushed tone, looking back to Stacie, a small smile on her lips. "You kept me grounded and you helped me so much. You knew when to push and how hard… but you also knew when to back the fuck off and give me space." She winks as she recalls the moments from the dream. "You were just a really great friend… you _are_ a really great friend, Stace."

Stacie smiles and inches closer to the brunette, resting her head onto Beca's shoulder. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"Well, I'm glad I could help you get through it. And you know I'll help you get through this, too… whatever _this_ is."

Beca doesn't say a word in response. She doesn't need to. There's an unspoken understanding between the two, even though Beca herself doesn't fully understand, but she's okay with that. Someday, it might all make sense. But for right now, her head is swimming and her body is shutting down. Unable to fight it any longer, she allows herself to drift into a deep and _dreamless_ slumber.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So I'm well aware it's been forever since my last update and I'm so sorry for that. Just had a lot of life get in the way lately. I've decided to finish this chapter since it's been sitting for so long incomplete. I can't promise when I'll be able to update again, but I will try my best to not go so long in between.**

 **Here's Chapter 10 :)**

* * *

Chloe hangs up the phone, her body buzzing with excitement. She hasn't spoken to Aubrey much in the past few months since things have been so busy at the firm, but the blonde is currently on her way back to Atlanta to visit family, and that family just so happens to include Chloe. She unfortunately missed the Thanksgiving holiday, but figured coming home the day after wouldn't be so bad. Chloe has the rest of the weekend off and no classes on Monday, so the pair decided to dedicate all of Saturday to each other before Aubrey does her late Thanksgiving dinner with her family.

"Hey, Chlo. Who was that?" Beca says as she walks into the bedroom, winded from running up the stairs.

"Oh! It was Bree! She's on her way back home for the weekend!" the redhead exclaims as she bounces up and down on her bed, all her excitement bubbling over. Beca makes her way to her desk and plops herself into her chair.

"Oh yeah? That's awesome. Did you make plans to see her while she's here? I know you haven't had much time to talk lately…"

"Yeah! We're gonna spend the whole day together tomorrow! Well, before she does dinner with her family… and after practice, of course." She pauses, biting the inside of her lip. "Which reminds me… would you be opposed to her stopping by to surprise some of the other girls? She really wants to see how the set is coming along…"

"Well, I haven't really finished the set, yet, Chlo. Between classes and the internship and everything else, I just haven't had a chance…" Beca says as she turns to open her laptop, a hint of irritation in her tone. Chloe can sense the girl's anxiety rising and rushes to try and squash it.

"No, Becs, it's fine. Don't even worry about it. She just wants to see what we have so far. That's all." She looks to the brunette with an apologetic, but pleading look in her eyes. Beca smiles, because how can she get mad at a face like that?

"Of course she can come by, Chlo. We don't hate each other anymore, you know," she says with a laugh, pulling her headphones over her head and resting them around her neck.

"I know," Chloe giggles. "But, anyway, her brother doesn't know she's coming home, so she asked if I could pick her up from the airport later." She looks down at her watch. "She's boarding her flight now so that gives me about three hours before she lands around 3:30ish. Do you have some time to grab lunch before you leave for the studio?" she asks.

"Yeah, actually I got a call from the boss man saying I didn't have to come in tonight. They have meetings all day so I'm not needed," she replies, beaming from ear to ear. "I could even come with you to the airport, if you want? I'd rather you not drive to that God awful place alone," Beca offers sarcastically.

"That would be awesome! Oh my gosh, I am _so_ excited!" Chloe says hopping off the edge of her bed and making her way to the door, pausing before she leaves the room. "How do you feel about Poor Calvin's? I'm really craving Thai."

"Sounds good to me," Beca answers, turning her attention to her laptop, placing her headphones on her ears.

"Awes!" Chloe says, before leaving the room.

Beca smiles at the excitement radiating off of her best friend. She's happy for Chloe. It's been so long since the last time Aubrey's been able to come home since starting at this new law firm. After graduating from Barden with her degree in Political Science, she shipped off to Columbia Law School in New York City where she's been plugging away at her law degree. Over the summer, she landed an internship position at a big firm in the city and it's done nothing more than take up all of her ( _already_ very little) free time. It's taken a bit of a toll on her friendship with Chloe, as their weekly Skype dates have dwindled down to maybe once a month, if that. Beca's really seen the change in the redhead's demeanor, though subtle, it's there. And although she may never understand how or why, Aubrey has this ability to keep Chloe reeled in, and her lack of interference in the girl's life might explain the craziness and the outbursts she's been having in rehearsals as of late.

"Hey, Becs, you ready?" Chloe asks, poking her head around the bedroom door. Her make up is on point and her hair is done up in a headband of braids with little curly wisps falling down the sides, and Beca can't help but admire her beauty in that moment as the sun from the window illuminates the side of her face, her eyes twinkling. She looks so happy, and Beca loves this sudden change she's seeing in her friend

"Yeah," Beca replies, closing her laptop and placing her headphones down. "Ready when you are," she says, standing from her chair and making her way out the door.

* * *

It's nearing 6:15 am and Chloe is well aware that her alarm will be going off in about an hour for Bellas rehearsal, but her brain is on overdrive and sleep is no longer an option. She glances over, the bright light from the moon shining in through the window, to see Beca sleeping peacefully across from her in her own bed. Sighing heavily, she sits herself up and pulls her knees into her chest, resting her chin on top of them, hugging tightly. She closes her eyes and smiles to herself as she anticipates the day ahead.

She's excited to really get to spend some time with Aubrey. It's been over a year since the last time she's actually seen the girl in person, and it's been a few weeks since they've really had the opportunity to talk. They share little texts here and there, but it's more of a "hey, how are you?", "busy, and you?" type of correspondence. The redhead truly misses the late night Skype sessions and phone calls where both girls would just talk about life, and everything and everyone in it for hours and hours on end. Chloe doesn't deal well with change, and so much has changed— _is changing_ —so fast.

Deciding she can't handle the silence of the room any longer, Chloe gets up and heads to the bathroom to shower and get herself ready for the day. Aubrey had mentioned that she really needs to catch up on her Christmas list and, admittedly, Chloe hasn't even started on hers. So the blonde offered to pick Chloe up from Bellas practice around noon where they'll head to the Peachtree Center, grab some lunch, and attempt to make a dent on their lists. A little retail therapy is exactly what Chloe needs right now.

Chloe finishes up her rather long shower and heads back to her room in her bathrobe as she dries her hair with a towel. She can hear some of the other girls rustling around in their rooms and the sound of the Keurig pumping out fresh coffee. Inhaling deeply as the aromas sift their way up the stairs, she can't wait to get her hands on a cup.

Entering her room she notes that Beca is still sound asleep. The clock on her nightstand reads 6:48 and Chloe knows full well that Beca won't wake up when her alarm goes off at seven. She'll most likely hit snooze about 4 times before Chloe will eventually have to come up and physically wake her herself. The redhead doesn't have a problem with that at all though. It's just the way it's always been, and Chloe respects the fact that the smaller girl requires a lot more sleep than she does… than anyone does really. Feeling generous, Chloe changes the alarm to go off at 7:15, allowing the cranky brunette an extra 15 minutes of uninterrupted sleep, then heads to her closet.

Once she's dressed and ready she makes her way downstairs for that cup of coffee and one of those delicious muffins her and Beca picked up for the girls from the Sweet Auburn Bakery before making their way to the airport yesterday. She sits and listens to Flo and Ashley talk about their time spent at home with their families and smiles at how happy everyone seems. Losing track of time, she looks to the microwave. It's 7:24 and still no sign of Beca, so she finishes off her coffee and places the mug into the sink, then makes her way upstairs and braces herself for the grump-fest awaiting her down the hall, smiling all the way.

* * *

"Yeah, but you didn't have to do that, Chloe," Beca says, taking a sip from her water bottle, her tone laced partially with mock annoyance.

"Of course I did. You wouldn't have woken up otherwise," Chloe giggles, as she too takes a sip of her water. Beca just rolls her eyes in disgust.

"Really, Chlo? A wet fucking Willie? No. That was just disgusting and I hate you for it," the brunette replies, scrunching up her nose and knitting her brows together. Chloe swats her on the arm.

"Yeah right. You could never hate me. And it worked, didn't it?" Chloe asks, smiling with a wink, taking another sip from her water. She receives a disgruntled moan from Beca before the girl walks away.

Chloe straightens herself up and looks at the time on her phone. It's 11:30 now and they still have one more skill set to get through before noon. She claps her hands together in an attempt to round up the girls again. "Alright ladies! Back to work!" she calls out, followed by grunts and groans of disapproval.

"You said we could take a five minute break. It's only been two," Stacie says, her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, come on Chloe. It's bad enough you made everyone come back early from break. Don't be an aca-Nazi like General Posen," Amy says from her place on the bleachers.

"Hey, I take offense to that," a voice calls from behind them. At this, all the girls whip their heads around to catch Aubrey coming out from behind the bleachers, a playful smirk on her lips.

"Aubrey!" they call out, as they all make a mad dash for her, Chloe, Beca, and Emily staying behind, Beca settling herself back behind her laptop.

"Ladies," Aubrey says, as she's bombarded with hugs.

"What brings you to this neck of the woods, blondie?" Amy asks, as she starts to pull away from the pack.

"I'm in town for the next few days visiting family since I missed the holiday, and I thought I'd stop by to see how prep for World's was coming along…" She pauses. "Which reminds me… FALL IN LINE BELLAS!" she shouts, pointing towards the center of the room.

Chloe jumps, startled at the reaction from her friend and looks to Beca, confused. Beca just rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders, watching as Chloe scurries to join the ranks.

"That means you too, ear monstrosities!" Beca looks up from her laptop and drops her headphones around her neck, darting her a look that could kill that quickly fades when she's met with the gaze of what she presumes could be the actual devil taking over Aubrey's features. So she herself slides into the spot next to Chloe as the blonde skulks down the line, the same look still plastered across her face.

"For the record, I don't wear those anymore," Beca half whispers, as Aubrey reaches her.

"Zip it," the blonde spits back, causing Beca to crane her neck away from the girl's wrath. Aubrey's grimace slowly creeps its way into a tight lipped smile then she breathes out a laugh. Straightening herself up, she places her hands on her hips. Her smile widens and her eyes begin to sparkle with amusement. "Well…" she says. "That was fun. It's good to know I still have it in me," she boasts, sticking out her chest with pride as the groans fill the room.

"Aubrey," Chloe giggles and rolls her eyes, letting out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. "You're actually insane, you know that?" the redhead says, walking up to the blonde and linking their arms together. Aubrey pulls her into a side hug as they stumble towards the piano where Beca has made herself comfortable behind her laptop yet again.

"Alright Hobbit, show me whatcha got," Aubrey says as she leans her elbows onto the piano.

* * *

"Okay ladies, that's it for today. Rest up tonight. Hydrate. Get plenty of rest. Just be ready for another full day of choreo tomorrow!" Chloe shouts as she claps her hands together and heads to the bleachers to gather her things. Turning to face Aubrey, she's met with the super close proximity of Beca's face. "Oh," she says, stumbling back a bit. "What's up, Becs? You look like you need something…"

"No, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just was wondering where you and Bree were heading off to after this…" Beca says, looking down to her feet and fiddling with her fingers.

"Peachtree Center," she replies. "We shouldn't be long. Just a few hours." She pauses, and when Beca just stares blankly back at her she adds, "I can text you when we get there? And I'll let you know when we're headed back…"

"Okay, sure. It's just… I've been in a car with Aubrey before," Beca looks over her shoulder, then lowers her voice. "She's not the greatest driver." This pulls a smile and a light giggle out of the redhead.

"We'll be fine, Becs. Stop worrying so much," Chloe responds, placing her hand on Beca's shoulder. "Seriously," she adds, looking back and forth between both of Beca's deep sea eyes.

"I know. Yeah… No. I'm not worried. Just… Just text me and let me know when you're there is all…" Beca fumbles over her words and seals it with a half convincing smirk.

"Of course," Chloe answers, then leans in and plants a gentle kiss to the girl's cheek.

"Chlo, you ready?" Aubrey calls from across the auditorium. "It's already noon time, I have to be back before 5," she says, looking down at her watch.

"I was born ready!" Chloe calls back as she releases her grip from Beca's shoulder and skips towards the blonde's direction. "I'll text you!" She shouts back to the tiny brunette, who just waves in response.

"What was that all about?" Aubrey asks as Chloe catches up to her.

"What? Beca?" Chloe responds, "Nothing… she's just… she's been… I don't know. I can explain later. Let's get some lunch!" she says, as they head out the door.

* * *

"I'm surprised we were able to find a spot right next to the door," Chloe says to Aubrey as she closes the car door and hears the beep letting them know it was locked.

"I'm hoping this means it will be a successful shopping trip," Aubrey replies, clapping her hands together giddily.

"Ah, but first, we eat," the redhead replies, rubbing her tummy as it begins to growl.

The two girls walk arm in arm in comfortable silence into the mall and towards the food court, clearly on a mission. Aubrey's the first to speak up, but only once they've approached the Villa Italian Kitchen.

"Wanna share the usual?" she asks, never taking her eyes off the menu hanging up above their heads.

"Uh, duh," Chloe replies. "It's like… ritual or something. We always share," she says, with a hint of disgust and a dash of disbelief lacing her tone as she turns to face the blonde. Aubrey looks to her.

"I was just asking, Chlo."

"Well… don't. Just order," she demands with a giggle, receiving an eye roll from her best friend. Aubrey disconnects their arms and walks up to the cashier.

"Hi, we'll take a large Sicilian pizza and two medium fountain drinks," she says to the girl behind the register, then hands over her card to pay. Taking the two cups, she hands them over to Chloe.

"The usual?" Chloe asks. Aubrey just quirks an eyebrow.

"Don't ask… just do," she replies, with a wink. Chloe smiles and heads off to the soda fountain where she makes a mixture of half Coca-Cola and half orange Fanta, a combination Aubrey introduced her to years ago.

Chloe closes the lids onto the drinks, grabs two straws, and makes her way over to an empty table in the food court not far from where Aubrey is waiting for their pizza. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and sees that she has three missed texts from Beca.

"Shit," she mutters under her breath. She completely forgot to text Beca to let her know they arrived safely.

 **Beca [1:32pm]:** hey chlo, did you make it okay?

 **Beca [1:37pm]:** i haven't heard from you yet. everything good?

 **Beca [1:45pm]:** seriously chlo, what's the deal?

Chloe taps the screen and begins to type out a response.

 **Chloe [1:47pm]:** hey becs, sorry i didn't text when we got here.. we're getting lunch now. i have terrible service so i'll just shoot you a text when we're on our way back

She locks her screen as Aubrey makes her way over with their pizza. Her stomach begins to growl again.

"Okay," Aubrey coos, placing the pizza down in front of the wide eyed redhead. "Let's eat!"

They sit and chat as they devour their pizza, falling into a familiar and comfortable routine. Once Chloe's learned the ins and outs of Aubrey's internship, and Aubrey has been filled in on all of the Bellas juicy gossip, they make their way to the shops. Linking their arms together again, as Aubrey chats away about a troublesome professor in one of her classes. Chloe can't help but smile, because, in this moment, she's not the captain of the Bellas or pretending to fail Russian Lit for the fourth time. She's just happy.

* * *

Ice creams in hand from the one and only Haagen Daaz, Aubrey and Chloe make their way down Andrew Young International Blvd. toward Centennial Park.

"Alright, time to spill, Chlo," Aubrey says, taking a bite of her chocolate chip cookie dough. The redhead looks to her friend as she spoons a bite of black raspberry into her mouth.

"About…?" she presses, swallowing the ice cold lump of tangy deliciousness.

"You know… the Hobbit. What's she been doing? You said she's been… I don't know… different?" Aubrey asks.

"Oh, right… I don't know, Bree," Chloe groans as they sit down on a bench in the park. "She's just been acting so weird lately, like… _very_ protective. And it isn't like she hasn't been protective before, but this is to a new extreme." Aubrey takes another bite of her ice cream, a contemplative look on her face.

"What has she done?" she asks.

"It all sort of started with the fight on Halloween. I told you about that, right?" Aubrey nods. "Well, after that night she started getting more—I don't know—protective? When I got the concussion that day at Bellas rehearsal and from then on… she's just gotten worse," she lets out a deep sigh.

"How so?"

"I guess I could start with a few weeks ago when we had one of our girl's nights," she says:

 _ **One month ago:**_

 _"We need more alcohol!" Amy shouts, throwing her hands in the air as she prances through the living room, an empty bottle of Grey Goose in each hand._

 _"Says who?" Beca asks from her spot on the love seat. Chloe giggles beside her._

 _"Uh, says me, short stack. We're already out of booze and it's only 9pm," Amy whines._

 _"Well if you hadn't drank all of this bottle last night during that idiot drinking game you and 'Legs' over here decided to play, we wouldn't be out," Beca snaps, reaching out to take one of the bottles away from Amy's grasp._

 _"For your information, that game is a blast when you have the right movie. The mustache lines up perfectly and BAM, we each take a shot," Stace pipes up from her spot on the floor where she's shuffling cards at the coffee table. "We were_ sooo _drunk," she mutters under her breath, thoroughly amused as she recounts the previous night in her mind._

 _"Yeah, I don't care," Beca says. "No one's leaving. Got it?" she spits out, looking around the room at all the eyes plastered on her. Chloe stirs beside her._

 _"It's fine, Bec. I only had one drink and it's been an hour since I finished it. I can just head out and grab some more. I think Tower closes at 10," Chloe chimes in, wiggling her way to the edge of the chair._

 _"What? No. Are you crazy?" Beca says, pushing Chloe back down. "You can't do that, Chlo. I won't let you."_

 _"And why not, Beca? You can't tell me what to do," Chloe says, breaking Beca's hold and pushing herself up and out of the chair. Beca jumps to her feet just as quickly, moving into Chloe's personal bubble, and for the first time in her life, Chloe feels like a line has been crossed._

 _"Because I fucking said so, okay?!" Beca cries, grabbing Chloe's wrists, holding her in place, her eyebrows furrowed, those piercing blue eyes searching the redhead's face. Chloe tries to wiggle free, looking down at their hands. "It's not worth it, Chloe. Don't go," Beca almost pleads, her voice much quieter now. Chloe looks back up, her concerned eyes now the ones searching for answers in the soft expression suddenly taking over her friends features._

 _"Uhh… yeah, anywayyyyyyyy," Amy says, breaking them from their unintended stare off. "I texted Bumpa, he's on his way with more booze, so… LET'S GET THIS PARTY STAAARTTEDDD!" she yells, banging her chest like King Kong._

 _The corner of Beca's mouth curves upwards in a hint of a smile as she releases Chloe's wrists and settles herself back down into the chair. Chloe just turns on her heels and makes her way up the stairs._

 _ **Present:**_

"Alright, I guess I can see how that comes off as a little over protective, but is that all? Because I don't think that's enough to find her behavior as strange. Sounds to me like she was just being a bit of a concerned friend," Aubrey offers, taking a bite out of her cone. "I probably would have said the same thing, to be honest."

"No, that's not all," Chloe says softly, looking down at the melting purple ice cream in her cup. "There's been other instances…" she trails off, thinking about the night a couple of weeks ago when they went to open mic at Apache:

 _ **Two weeks ago:  
**_

 _Chloe's veins are filled with about one quarter blood and 3 quarters tequila as she confidently strides to the stage with Beca's guitar in hand. She's been working on this song for a few weeks now, changing up the chords, slowing down the tempo, and adding her own flair to it. Using her "creative license" as Beca would call it. And she can't wait to finally perform it for her short friend and see how proud she is of her._

 _She settles herself on the stool and begins to strum. As she begins to sing, she lifts her gaze to find the stormy blue eyes of her best friend in the front row looking up at her, a puzzled look on her face. She turns her attention back to her hand placement on the guitar frets as she approaches the chorus, then closes her eyes as she feels herself become one with the music._

 _"_ _Do you believe in life after love?_

 _I can feel something inside me saying,_

 _'_ _I really don't think you're strong enough.'_

 _What am I supposed to do?_

 _Sit around and wait for you?_

 _Well, I can't do that,_

 _And there's no turning back._

 _I need time to move on,_

 _I need love to feel strong,_

 _See, I've had time to think it through,_

 _And maybe I'm too good for you."_

 _Chloe opens her eyes to see the look of surprise and adoration on Beca's face, but instead she's met with furrowed brows, and a shaking head. Next thing she knows, Beca's on her feet and headed towards the door. Chloe, confused as ever, finishes her set and heads off to find Beca's guitar bag hanging on the back of the chair she just fled from._

 _"What the hell was that about?" the redhead asks, turning to Stacie. The tall brunette just shrugs her shoulders as she sips from her cocktail._

 _Chloe finds her phone in her wristlet and types out a text._

 _ **Chloe [10:56pm]:**_ _what happened? why'd you leave?_

 _ **Beca [10:57pm]:**_ _i just had to go. i had jesse pick me up.._

 _Chloe slams her phone down onto the table and picks up the drink in front of her, not even sure who it belongs to or what's in it, and downs it in one gulp._

 ** _Present:_**

"So you sang your own rendition of Believe by Cher and she just stormed out?" Aubrey asks.

"Yeah. That's exactly what happened. And she just said she had to go. So suddenly," Chloe responds. "It makes no sense."

"Are you sure something didn't happen between her and the aca-nerd? Maybe they got in a fight or something and she left to go hash it out with him," Aubrey offers.

"No, I don't think so. Beca always tells me when they fight. Always. She said nothing to me about it after that. I even asked if everything was cool with them and she acted like I was crazy… and she never brought up why she just left so abruptly. I didn't want to press her on it. I know how she gets with that kind of stuff," Chloe says, wiping the corner of her lips with a napkin.

Aubrey finishes her last bite from her cone and wipes her hands together.

"You're right. It is strange, even for the hobbit," she says. "I don't know, Chlo. You think something is going on with her and Jesse, maybe? Trouble with the Treble? And she's just reacting weird?"

Chloe shrugs.

"Maybe?" she says, unsure of her answer. "I don't know. Still doesn't explain why she's texting me constantly throughout the day making sure I get to my classes okay. Forget every time I have to take Stacie's car to run an errand. She either comes with me and drives, or makes me call her when I get to wherever I'm going." Aubrey averts her gaze from the cute guy across the way walking his dog and looks back to Chloe.

"Wait… what? She seriously does all that?" the blonde questions, her full attention now on the redhead sitting next to her.

"Yes, Bree. I told you. Every. Day," Chloe says, pausing to look around the park. Aubrey takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She reaches out and takes Chloe's hand in hers.

"I know this is clearly stressing you out because I know how you feel about the hobbit—though I'll never _fully_ understand why—I get it. But Jesus, Chloe, are you dense?" Chloe looks back to Aubrey, her brows knitted together.

"Wha—?" she starts.

"My God, I know they say you redheads have no soul, but apparently there's no brain in there either," Aubrey rolls her eyes when she's still met with the disoriented glare coming from her friend. A smirk presses its way up the side of her mouth. "She's so obviously _in love_ with you, Chloe."

"What?! No—that's—no. She isn't. She can't be…" Chloe exclaims, completely taken aback from the words that just fell from her friend's mouth.

"And why not?" Aubrey screeches back. "You're Chloe-freaking-Beale. If I had a lesbian bone in my body, I'd give it to you." Chloe cringes at this statement, but smiles nonetheless, slightly impressed by who it's coming from. Aubrey shifts so she's now fully facing the redhead. "She'd be insane not to be, Chlo. And it's so obvious from the way she's been acting. Maybe she's having a hard time adjusting to it herself. I say you help her realize…"

"Realize what?"

"What she's missing out on!" Aubrey says, her eyes lighting up.

"And how do you suggest I do that?" Chloe asks.

"Simple," the blonde replies. "You have to kiss her."

"Kiss her?! Are you crazy?! Are you forgetting that she has a boyfriend? I can't just kiss her, Aubrey! That would make her a cheater. I could never do that to her. No… just—no." Chloe shakes her hand free from Aubrey's grasp and stands up from the bench, making her way towards the road back to the parking garage. Aubrey follows her.

"Oh come on, Chloe! Yeah, she has a boyfriend. But, honestly tell me when the last time you saw them together was…" Chloe pauses as she genuinely tries to find the answer to this, giving Aubrey a chance to catch up to her. "Let me guess," Aubrey says, "you don't know?" Chloe locks eyes with the blonde, who then links their arms together. "Chlo, let me walk you through what I know. The hobbit's been acting weird. Very over protective, even territorial in a way. And I know she can't be spending much time with the Treble boy because every time I've talked to you, you tell me how she's super busy with school, the internship, and the Bellas. And she's almost always in the room with you when we FaceTime. When does she actually hang with Jesse?"

"I—I don't know. Now that you say that. I think the night she left Apache so suddenly might be the last time I knew they were together. And that was like two weeks ago now…" Chloe says.

"See? I say kiss her," Aubrey says, her giant smirk plastered across her face so wide, Chloe can't help but smile, too.

"I don't know, Bree."

"And you'll never know until you try..."

Chloe lets it fall silent between the two as they head back towards the car. A sudden wave of worry seeps its way through the redhead's insides. And as they continue their walk, that wave turns into a tsunami of doubts and fears as it seers its way from her heart to lie heavy in the pit of her stomach. Because as much as the redhead would love to kiss that short, disgruntled bundle of flannel and attitude, as much as she's dreamed of what it would be like to feel Beca's lips on hers, she's afraid she will never know. She's afraid it could ruin everything she's worked so hard over the last three and half years to build between them. Because she would rather spend the rest of her life pining for the beautifully disastrous being that is Beca Mitchell than to ever spend a single breath without her.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I know, I know. I'm the worst person ever… It's been forever and I'm sorry. That being said, here's the next chapter. This is all taking place during finals week and at the start of their winter break. I wanted to cover all of the winter break in this chapter, but decided to cut it into two. So another chapter will be coming… hopefully sooner than later, but I really can't make promises here. I did some jumping so I added some notes at each break to clarify time and place. Enjoy!**

* * *

Beca crosses the room she shares with Chloe and places her bag down on her bed, reaching inside to pull out her laptop and the Creative Writing book that's inside. She brings her laptop over to her desk, plugging it in, and tosses the book on top of her printer out of the way, opting to do her homework later. Looking at the clock, she notes the time: 3:47pm. Chloe's class gets out around 4 and she would honestly rather work on the set-list, Chloe's birthday mixes, or even just screw around. The literature homework has to do with producing a creative essay based on factual events, and Lord knows Beca has never had a way with words. She speaks through music, and can't for the life of her write her own pieces to save her life. Trust her, she's been trying.

Chloe on the other hand seems to have a way with words. She mastered her own Creative Writing courses and literature was something she excelled in (maybe just not of Russian decent). She's always weaving together words and phrases and making things rhyme so perfectly, even if they don't make any sense to the brunette. It's just another thing on the ever growing list of things Beca admires about Chloe.

Beca makes a mental note to somehow force the redhead to do her assignment for her when she gets back from class. That's if she can manage to get a word in edge wise. You see, Chloe's in her Women's Studies class at the moment, and she's always fired up about some issue of women's oppression by the time she returns that Beca usually just tunes her out and puts her headphones on. The other woman is so wrapped up in her own tirades, she usually doesn't notice until about a half hour later when she's chucking a pillow at the back of Beca's head looking for her input. That input usually includes a shrug of the shoulders and a generic "I totally get it, Chlo." And _every time_ , Beca is shocked when all she receives in return is an endearing grin or toothy smile.

The brunette is so caught up in her thoughts, she doesn't realize her phone vibrating on the desk beside her computer until it's saying she has a missed call. She also didn't realize how hard she was smiling until she saw the name lighting up the screen: Jesse. Her cheeks drop and her brows furrow. She completely forgot they had made plans to do something later. He had mentioned grabbing take out and watching a movie. Just the thought makes Beca's stomach turn.

Just as she picks up the phone to unlock it and call him back with some excuse as to why she can't do dinner and a movie, a text pops up.

 **Jesse [3:52pm]:** hey babe, stuck at the station til 8 tonight.. also really need to study for my music comp exam on monday that i'm sorta freaking out about so i'm gonna have to cancel.. rain check?

 **Beca [3:53pm]:** no worries. have to write a paper tonight anyway. rain check it is..

 **Jesse [3:53pm]:** you da best! love you!

Beca taps her thumbs on the sides of her phone. She wonders if this feeling of relief is normal or if she should be feeling otherwise. Deciding not to dwell on that for too long, she types out another response.

 **Beca [3:54pm]:** you too

It's not much of a reply, but she's not in the mood for lovey-dovey talk at the moment, and once you get Jesse started, he won't stop. She rolls her eyes as she locks her phone and places it back down. Shoving her face into her hands, she lets out a groan. Beca sits in this position for a minute or so before she's startled upright by the sound of the front door slamming and footsteps on the stairs. She readjusts her position as bouncy red curls come bounding into the room.

"Hey Becs!" Chloe chirps as she crosses the room, dropping her bag conveniently in the middle of the floor, and throwing herself onto the brunette's bed.

"Hey yourself," Beca responds, turning her body in her chair following the redheads movements. She leans her elbow on the armrest and rests her head on a closed fist, then glances sideways at the time on her computer. "Out early? You shouldn't be claiming my bed as your own for another 20 minutes at the least." She quirks her eyebrows in an amused way that steals a giggle from the girl across the room.

"Yes," Chloe breathes as she rolls herself onto her front, grabbing Beca's pillow as she does so and inhaling deeply. "I just love the smell of the detergent you use. It's so… clean smelling." She places her head down on the pillow, her arms tucked underneath, and catches the eye roll from her friend just in time. Smiling widely, she pushes herself upright and sits at the edge of the bed.

"It's the same detergent you use, you know…" Beca retorts in a fake annoyed tone, as she turns herself back around to face her computer.

In what feels like a split second, the redhead has managed to make her way across the room without making a single sound. A whisper reaches Beca's ear, burning hot along the edges.

"Well then, maybe it's just the shampoo you use that I like so much…" Chloe breathes, as she trails her finger tips along Beca's shoulders, moving her dark hair out of the way.

A shiver crawls through Beca's spine. One that wouldn't be noticed by the redhead because it's so entrenched to her core, no semblance of it could be seen from the surface. At least that's what she tells herself as she squeezes her eyes shut so tight she sees stars. Beca slowly lets out the breath she was holding, and opens her eyes, locking them on her screen.

"It's the same as yours, Chlo," she says, her voice low and cracking in the middle. She lets out a weak laugh, as the redhead hums gently and moves her body away, out of the brunette's personal bubble. Her hands move to Beca's shoulders and begin to gently knead at her tense muscles.

"Your shoulders are so tight, Becs. It's like you carry the weight of the world on them," Chloe says as she continues her deep ministrations.

Beca closes her eyes again in contentment as she hums in agreement. Though, she knows full well that's not why her muscles are so rigid at the moment. She sits and allows her friend to continue the massage for a few minutes in peaceful silence until the door slams again downstairs, causing them both to jump slightly.

Chloe pulls her hands away from her friend's shoulders, and takes a step backwards, distancing herself. She slowly runs a hand through her hair and turns to sit at her own desk. Her back now facing the brunettes. She snares her bottom lip between her teeth and places her head in her hands. It's no secret to Chloe how she feels about her best friend. She landed on infatuation the minute she first met her, and she's been flying towards the L word ever since. She may have already reached that destination a long time ago, but she's made a point to throw away the map, allowing herself to stay lost among the plethora of mixed signals for fear of getting hurt along the way.

Beca shivers at the loss of contact behind her, a cold wave washing over her. She heard the girl walking away and sitting at her desk, but she doesn't understand the reaction. Beca slowly turns herself in her chair to see the redhead's back to her, her face buried in her hands, noting the girl's body language and sensing something might be off. Emotions have never been Beca's forte, but there's always been something about Chloe. This internal, aching need to always see the other girl happy, and when she's not, it does something to Beca. Something she herself has never been able to understand. But, it's always forced her to forgo all pre-existing anxieties tied to emotional situations and to try to make things better. So she raises from her chair and crosses the room.

"Chloe… is everything okay?" she asks, grabbing hold of the girl's chair and spinning it around to face her. The redhead stares up at her with glistening eyes.

"Of course… yeah. I'm good… I'm totally fine." Chloe smiles wryly. "I guess with finals coming up and this semester coming to an end… it's just sort of setting in that this is it. You know? This is the end of… of all this." She circles her hands gesturing around the room. She's not lying. Although that isn't exactly the reason why she's so upset at the moment, it's something that's been sitting on her heart pretty heavy since she made the decision to finally graduate and move on from the Bellas. She looks up and is met by a smirk and, what appear to be watery eyes from the brunette standing in front of her. "Beca…" she says, standing from her chair and reaching out to place her hands on either side of the brunettes face. She stares into the other girl's eyes for a moment that seems to last forever, as the conversation she had with Aubrey just last weekend swirls through her mind. Her gaze lingers for a split second on the other girls lips, and just when she's almost certain (with absolutely _no_ certainty at all) that she's about to risk everything and finally kiss her, Beca reaches up and takes her hands into her own and puts them down in between their bodies, just holding them there. Chloe's gaze follows and holds, a feeling of regret and relief washing over her all at once, tears stinging the corners of her eyes.

"Chloe," Beca whispers, "I know. I totally get it, okay? I'm… I'm scared, too." She's ducking her head to try and make eye contact with the redhead, using her hand to lift the girl's chin when she doesn't succeed. And as she makes contact with those pools of crystal blue, a single tear spills over. She reaches up and wipes it away with her thumb.

"You… you are?" Chloe asks.

"Of course I am, Chlo. I'd be crazy not to be. I thought I had my whole life figured out… I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do… who I wanted to be. But, that was when I was a stupid 18 year old fresh out of high school who thought she knew everything." Beca lets out an uncomfortable laugh. "It's crazy what a wakeup call these past few years have been for me. Especially the last few months…" she sighs and turns to look behind her at the laptop sitting on her desk with her editing programs open, but empty. She looks back at Chloe. "Look, Chlo. I guess what I'm trying to say is… you're not alone. You have me and you always will." Chloe squints her eyes, a small smile making its way to her lips.

"Promise?" Chloe asks.

"Chlo—

"No. I don't want the generic answer to make me feel better. I wanna know that you're never leaving me… no matter how far apart we live or how long we go without talking to each other… you'll always be there when I need you?"

Beca can't help but smile, because deep down she knows she will never be able to shake the redhead from her life, even if she wanted to. And let's be serious, she would never want to.

"I promise, Chloe. No matter the time or the distance between us, I'll always be your friend." And with that, the smirk that was forming made its way into a toothy grin. Beca smiles back, happy to have her bubbly best friend back to her usual self. She shakes her head remembering her assignment. "So… could you help me with something?" she asks.

Chloe giggles and rolls her eyes.

"Okay, what's the prompt about this time?" she replies.

* * *

 **[Later that evening]**

Beca finds herself re-reading the essay Chloe helped her write telling the tale of how they won ICCA's for the first time in such great detail it's as if she was reliving the moment all over again. She's smiling so hard, but tears are falling down her cheeks. It was such a happy and joyous occasion, and Beca would do anything to go back and do it again. She wouldn't even change a thing.

Hitting the print button at the top of her screen, she sits back in her chair, listening as the printer kicks on and does its thing. Beca finds herself thinking about her first day at Barden. Asking herself what life would be like if she never ran into Aubrey and Chloe at the activities fair. Or if she decided to take a shower at a different time on the day Chloe barged in on her. If she never joined the Bellas and if she headed out to LA to pay her dues after her freshman year came to a close. What it would be like if she never met these girls, or Jesse. If she never knew Chloe.

She reaches up and wipes the tears from her eyes, and she laughs to herself. A hearty and full laugh because she knows… Beca knows that even if she never met Chloe at the activities fair she probably would have still found a way to barge into her life (or shower) at some point. Because Beca has this strange feeling that she and Chloe were meant to meet each other. On one level or another, they're like soulmates. They balance each other out. Chloe brings out the best in Beca, and Beca does what she can to keep the redhead grounded. Though lately, that's been proving to be an impossible task.

Beca laughs again as she takes her essay from the printer and places into the appropriate folder. She's proud of all she's accomplished here at Barden and she's never for a single second regret staying. She loves these girls like family because they are her family. Whether she likes it or not. She knows her life was changed for the better the moment—okay, maybe not the _exact_ moment Chloe walked into it, but not long thereafter.

As she sniffles and wipes at her eyes again, Chloe makes her way into the room.

"Oh, hey Becs, Stace and I just got back from dinner. I thought you were supposed to—oh my gosh... are you okay?" She rushes to Beca's side, kneeling next to her seat while the brunette just rolls her eyes and laughs it off.

"Yeah. No, I'm fine. Really, Chlo. Just writing this essay with you got me thinking about everything that's happened over the past few years and how I don't regret any of it." She looks back to a beaming redhead.

"Oh, well… good." Chloe stands from her spot and brushes at her knees. "I was worried something had happened between you and Jesse or something. I thought you two were supposed to hang out?" she asks as she makes her way over to her own desk, turning on her computer.

"Oh, yeah. Right. We were."

Chloe turns in her seat, looking the brunette up and down, unable to read her expression and wondering if there was more to her reply.

"And…? He fell off the face of the earth? He hasn't been around much…" Chloe knows she's starting to pry, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't curious as to the Treble boy's whereabouts and the current standing of his relationship with her best friend.

"Well he texted me earlier saying he got stuck working till late, and he really needed to study for some final he has coming up... so we're doing a rain check…" Beca turns in her chair and places her headphones around her neck.

"Right…" Chloe fumbles with the pen in her hand, wondering if she should say anything at all, and shocked with herself when she does. "Hey… you don't think something is going on with him and that girl at the station, do you? What's her name? Cathy? Catie?"

"Her name is Caitlin," Beca replies nonchalantly, plugging her headphones into her laptop, then slowly turning in her seat. "And don't be crazy, Chloe. Jesse would never cheat on me." She crosses her arms giving the illusion that she might be annoyed.

"No I know that, Becs. I was just saying—"

"He's been slammed this semester taking 5 classes, Chloe. And, he's been accepted to that internship starting at Universal Pictures once he finishes school, and that all rides on him maintaining a 3.5 GPA. He's really stressed out right now… so when he says he needs to study, I believe him. And I also know that Caitlin hasn't been super reliable since he hired her to take my place, but she was the only one who signed up for the job. Someone needs to be there if she's decided to take the night off for 'Thirsty Thursday'." Beca rolls her eyes and turns back around, placing her headphones over her ears.

"I know, Beca. I'm sorry. I'm not challenging his loyalty to you, it's just… I don't know, and maybe I'm totally off base here, but to me… at least lately… it's just seemed like you two are… I don't know, correct me if I'm wrong… but it's like you two are spending less and less time together… like you're drifting apart…" Chloe places her hands in her lap and stares down at them.

Beca's hands still over her keypad, stalling at the words that just left her friends mouth. She lowers her headphones back around her neck and again turns in her chair to face the redhead. Keeping her gaze to the floor, she takes in a slow breath.

"No. I—I don't think it's like that. I mean… we're both just so busy. That's all." The words come out soft and shaky, like she's unsure of the truth that lies within them.

Chloe stands from her seat now and makes her way across the room, stopping about halfway.

"Beca, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you question your relationship, but, is that really all? When was the last time you actually saw him? Or even had an actual conversation with him beyond making and cancelling plans?" She crosses her arms over her chest, more so because she doesn't know what to do with them.

"I—I don't know." Beca looks up from the floor to meet the gaze of the woman standing not more than three feet in front of her. She leans back in her chair, bumping into her desk. "I know it's been crazy… but I don't know, Chlo…"

"It's fine, Becs. You know you can talk to me about anything…"

"I know," she replies. "Yeah, I know I can. I mean, I guess I've been so caught up with everything I hadn't really noticed. Oh my God, is that bad? Does this mean…"

Chloe notices the look of panic that runs across Beca's face and reaches forward, kneeling down in front of her, grabbing her hands.

"Woah, Beca. No. Hold on. This—this might not mean anything. Okay? Like you said, you're just busy. Caught up with everything."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." Beca shakes her head. "I'm going home to New York with him for a week when he finishes his last final, so we'll have all that time to spend together."

Chloe tries not to let the look on her face show when she realizes Beca never told her this. Beca's never actually met Jesse's parents, so this sort of seems like a big deal. But Beca seems totally fine with it so instead, she decides to play it off.

"Yeah. Exactly." She smiles and stands, releasing the brunette's hands. "I, um… I have to finish this paper… so I'm gonna get to it." She smacks her hands on her thighs and heads back to her desk.

"Yeah… okay. Thanks, Chlo."

"Anytime." Chloe falls into her chair, placing her head back into her hands.

* * *

 **[One week later, in NYC after meeting Jesse's family]**

"Your mom is like the sweetest person alive," Beca says as she sips from her hot chocolate. Jesse replies with a smile and takes her free hand in his.

"She is pretty awesome," he says. "She gets it from me." He smiles again as Beca laughs at what he knows was a terrible joke. He thinks about how nice this is. Just the two of them, strolling the streets of New York City at night, a light snow dusting the buildings and sidewalks. Sure, it's freezing, but it's still nice.

They continue walking along 5th Ave towards the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. Beca looks down at their hands intertwined before she breaks the silence.

"I know things got sort of hectic recently, but I'm glad we're spending this time together. It's really nice," Beca says.

"Yeah, it's been great. Really great actually I—"

Jesse stops when Beca releases their hands to reach into her pocket for her phone. His brow creases as he watches her read a text and the smirk that forms not long after. He places his hand into his coat pocket and looks forward as they continue their walk.

"Sorry, it's just Chloe. She sent a pic of her dog with elf ears on. She's so cute, look," She says, turning the phone to show Jesse the picture.

"Yeah," he says. "Adorable."

Beca turns the phone back to look at the picture again, letting out a giggle.

"So precious," she says. "Her name is Billie Jean. Or just Billie for short. You know, like the Michael Jackson song? Sometimes Chloe sings The Supremes to her. Billie loves it." She bites her mitten off to tap out a reply, locks her phone, and places it back into her coat pocket. "Can you hold this a sec?" she asks, holding out her hot chocolate so she can put her mitten back on. Jesse takes it from her, handing it back when she's finished.

"Listen, Beca, I was thinking maybe we could go 'un-plugged' for the rest of the trip? I mean, you're leaving to visit your mom in two days, and I—I just would like to spend some more time with you." He stops them in front of a dark, glossy window and grabs her free hand in his again. " _Just_ you," he says, motioning to her pocket where her phone resides. Beca shakes her head and looks down at their hands.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Jess. It's just with World's coming up and stuff Chloe's been needing me more often than not lately. You know how she's been sort of crazy since everything and, it's just… I don't think I could go _completely_ 'un-plugged but—"

"Beca, please. It's just for two days. You can't go two more days without talking to her?" Jesse pleads, shaking his head, annoyance lacing his tone.

"It's not _just_ Chloe I'm talking to. I'm corresponding with work as well. I'm trying to make something of myself here, Jesse," Beca spits, her voice raising with each word. She pulls her hand back. "Not everyone has the perfect opportunity lined up for them by their wealthy father's connections after graduation, you know." She turns on her heels and continues walking. Jesse catches up and grabs her arm, attempting to hold her hand again, biting his tongue from saying anything to make this situation worse. The last thing he wants is to ruin the little time they have together this break with a fight. Something that seems to be a regular thing whenever they spend more than ten minutes together.

"I know that, Beca. And I'm so proud of everything you're doing. I really am. It's just _two_ days. That's all I ask."

Beca takes another sip from her hot chocolate, then slowly relaxes her arm and allows Jesse to hold her hand.

"Okay, but—"

"Beca, _come on_ —"

"Hear me out," she says. "I check my phone at every meal, just so I can respond if my boss needs me. But that's it."

Jesse turns to look her side profile up and down, a small smile forming at the corner of his lips.

"Okay," he says. "Okay, that's fair."

Just then, he watches as her eyes light up, the Christmas tree coming into view. Beca stops in her tracks and he smiles as her jaw drops slightly.

"Wow. Holy crap, this is _amazing_!" she says, her eyes brighter than the lights in front of her.

Jesse can hear her phone buzzing in her pocket and feels her hand instinctively jerk to grab it. He watches the look on her face change when she stops herself, readjusting her grip on his hand. Then she's lurching them both forward, telling him they need to get a closer look. He trails a pace behind her.

"Yeah," he breathes, his smile fading from his cheeks. "Amazing." But he's not looking at the tree. He's watching the girl in front him that he's been in love with for the last three and half years and he's wondering where she's gone.

* * *

 **[In Portland, Maine about a week later at Beca's mother's house, Christmas Eve baking cookies]**

Beca dusts a layer of flour onto the sheet of parchment paper she laid down. She glances at her phone as it buzzes and lights up, a text from Jesse coming through. She lets the screen go black and continues what she was doing, rubbing some flour onto her hands, and grabbing the mound of cookie dough from the bowl beside her. She listens while her mother hums along to _Jingle Bells_ as it plays over the Bluetooth speaker, smiling as she joins in. Her mother is rolling out her dough with a rolling pin, while Beca begins to knead hers onto the parchment paper.

Just then, another text lights up her phone. This time from Chloe. Beca turns on her heels and rinses her hands off in the sink behind her, dries them and picks up her phone. A smile plasters itself across her face as she reads the text.

 **Chloe [8:48pm]:** my aunt is so wasted right now. she's singing Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer directly TO my 90 year old grandmother…

Beca replies with the crying laughing emoji, and then opens her message from Jesse.

 **Jesse [8:44pm]:** how are the cookies coming out?

She locks her phone and places it back down on the counter. She can reply later when she's actually done with the cookies and can give him a real answer. She dusts her hands with flour again and continues what she was doing before, not realizing her mother has been watching her this whole time.

"So," her mother starts. "How's that boy of yours doing?" she asks.

"Who? Jesse? Oh, yeah he's fine…" Beca replies, reaching for her rolling pin.

"Right… and what's he up to tonight?" she presses.

"I don't know. He's with his family right now. They do dinner on his mom's side at his cousins for Christmas Eve, and then tomorrow he'll go to his uncles on his dad's side."

"That sounds nice," she says, as she reaches into the container of cookie cutters. Beca hums in approval. "So how was it meeting his family for the first time?" she asks, pressing the snowman shaped cutter into the dough. "That's an awfully big step in a relationship…"

Beca stops rolling for a second and looks at her mother who continues to make cut outs and avoid her questioning stare.

"It was totally fine, and not really a big deal at all," she says, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter. "It's been almost four years. I guess it's about time I met them in person. We technically already met on FaceTime, so honestly I didn't really see it as this 'big step' like you're making it out to be…" She focuses on her mother's face for a second. Janice stops placing the cut outs onto her baking pan and looks up at her daughter.

"Well," she says, dusting her hands on her apron. "Did you ever think that maybe for Jesse it was a big step?"

Beca pauses, thinking this over before answering. Because, no, she hadn't thought that. Actually, it hadn't once crossed her mind that Jesse could have felt that way. She halts her thoughts when Janice begins to laugh. She looks back up to her mother, who has now moved on to Christmas tree cut outs.

"Oh honey," Janice says. "I know this relationship stuff is still pretty new to you, but I can tell you right now, it mattered to him."

Beca turns herself to face her counter space, and places her hands down on either side of her half rolled out cookie dough. She thinks about the time she spent with Jesse in New York and all the signs that are now making complete and total sense to her. And now she feels like the worst girlfriend in the entire world. She closes her eyes and breathes out slowly.

"I honestly… I didn't know, mom," she says, opening her eyes and turning again to face her mother. "Oh my God, I'm so bad at this stuff!" she huffs, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "I mean, I dated in high school, but those were like a month here or a few weeks there. I've never done serious relationships before and I definitely don't pick up on social cues… clearly…"

"Honey," Janice replies, looking back up to her daughter. "It's okay. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"No, I feel… I feel really bad now." Beca replies.

Just then another text buzzes through, averting her eyes to her phone. It's Chloe again. She rinses off her hands and opens her phone.

"So… are we going to talk about _that_ at all?" Janice says, as she places the last Christmas tree onto her baking sheet.

"Huh?" Beca asks, afraid she's missed something. "Talk about what?"

Her mother walks to the sink and washes her hands thoroughly. She turns to lean against the sink as she dries off her hands.

"About you and Chloe."

Beca looks up from her phone.

"What about us?"

"I don't know, baby, you tell me," Janice replies, placing the towel back onto the counter behind her. She walks over to grab her sheet of cookies. Beca laughs uncomfortably.

"Well, where should I start? We're co-captains of the Bellas together and we're currently working on putting the set together for the World's competition that's shortly after graduation…" she says, catching an eye roll from her mother, who just put her cookies into the oven. "We're also housemates who share a room together…? We're best friends…?" Her gaze shoots down to her phone again as another text from Chloe buzzes through. "We text on the phone and occasionally we FaceTime," Beca says, holding her phone up to show her mother who just laughs at her and shakes her head. "I genuinely don't understand the question here, mom. You know Chloe."

"Let's see," her mother starts. "Now where should _I_ start? Since you've gotten here, you've done nothing but check your phone constantly. I've heard you FaceTime or talk on the phone with Chloe at least once a day over the past week, but not once with Jesse. You're constantly telling me stories about something Chloe or the Bellas did or said, but very rarely do you talk about Jesse. It's like pulling teeth to get you to talk about the kid. And I've been watching you this entire night. Every time a text from Jesse comes through you ignore it, but you're so quick to respond when it's Chloe. So, I'm asking if there's something else going on here that you want to talk about…"

Beca reaches around her mother to grab a cookie cutter from the container. She turns abruptly and begins pressing the cutout into the poorly rolled out dough.

"I—I have no idea what you're even trying to imply, but it's absolutely insane…" Beca huffs as she continues to press into the dough.

"Well I must have struck some kind of nerve," her mother starts, placing her hand over Beca's to get her to stop. "You've cut out at least 10 pumpkins and haven't even noticed…"

Beca actually looks down to process what she's doing, and sure enough, there lie at least 10 haphazardly cut out pumpkins in her cookie dough. She's not sure why, but her eyes begin to sting.

"Oh honey, come here." Janice grabs her daughter by the shoulders and spins her around, bringing her into a tight embrace. Beca lets go tears she had no idea she needed so badly to get out. "I always sort of wondered after that thing you had with that friend of yours in high school, when you just stopped hanging out with her altogether after being so inseparable for so long. What was her name again? Jennifer?" Beca throws herself back and away from her mother faster than she could even process the woman's words.

"What? WHAT?!" she exclaims, shaking her head in disbelief. "No. No, no, no, no. That—that was _never_ a thing, mom." She holds her finger out to prevent her mother from speaking. "Jenny was always _just_ a friend to me. _She_ thought it was something more and I cut her out of my life after she tried to kiss me at a party. I never felt that way towards her… or _any_ girl for that matter…"

"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just assume. I'm just trying to understand what it is that's going on with you… And I just have this feeling that this adorable redhead has something to do with it…"

Beca looks up and internally winces at the pleading and pained look on her mother's face. She hates doing this. She hates making her mother upset, and she really hates talking about her personal life, especially with her mom. But she trusts her mother more than anything in this world, and she figures now is a better time than ever to talk about that dream. The thing that's been consuming her mind and taking an obvious toll on her relationships. So, she takes a deep breath, turns to grab a glass from the cabinet and fills it with water. She takes a long gulp, then walks past her mother towards the living room.

"Beca, honey, please don't shut me out, I—"

"No, I just need to sit down. I'll tell you… I'll tell you everything."

About ten minutes later, Beca's finished telling her mother about the dream. She made a point to mention every last detail, including the conversation she had with Stacie afterwards, because she needs someone to help her understand. To explain to her that she can't be unknowingly in love with her best friend. Because she's knowingly in love with Jesse, isn't she?

Her mother takes another sip from her own water and places it on its coaster on the coffee table that sits between her and her daughter. She looks back up at Beca, whose eyes are filled with tears waiting to break free as she stares at her mother expectantly.

"Beca… oh my sweet baby…" she says, as she stands and makes her way around the coffee table to sit next to the small girl, wrapping her arms around her.

"Mom, I don't know what to do. I don't know what any of this means…" She blinks her eyes as a tear creeps its way down her cheek. Janice pulls away from her daughter and wipes away her tears.

"I can't tell you what it all means, baby, and I can't tell you what to do. But, what I can say is this: you've always known who you were. You've known what you wanted to be since you were 5 years old, running around the house with your Walk-Man attached to your head at all times. And even when your father, the man you always admired, told you over and over that being a DJ or anything in the music industry was 'too hard' and was 'no way to make a living,' you stuck to it. You're hard headed when it comes to what you want and you do whatever it takes to get it." Beca scoffs and turns her head away, looking down at her hands in her lap. Janice lifts her hand and places a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. "What I'm trying to say is that you've always been so sure of yourself and you've always done the right thing. I know that maybe right now it doesn't make much sense to you, but eventually something will happen that will make it all crystal clear, and you'll make the right choice. The one that makes you happy. Because that's all I've ever wanted for you, my sweet girl." She reaches out and grabs hold of Beca's hands. Beca looks up at her and smiles timidly, takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly.

"Thanks, mom," she says. She was hoping for a cut and dry kind of answer, but she still feels a sense of relief take over her.

The timer in the kitchen begins to beep and her mother hugs her one last time before excusing herself to take the cookies out of the oven. Beca decides to make her way back into the kitchen to attempt and fix her pumpkin debacle she caused earlier, putting the rest of her worries on the back burner. At least until tomorrow.

* * *

 **A/N: That's all for now. The next chapter will pick up on Christmas morning and then moves into New Years Eve where things start to get even more interesting.**

 **Stay weird :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: As promised, here's chapter 12! And it's only been 5 days since the last update?! Whaaaaaaa?**

 **You all deserve it for being so faithful to this story even after I lost my inspiration to write. But, you didn't give up on me, so I won't give up on this story. I'll ride it out until the end as long as you're willing to come along for the ride with me! I promise not to disappoint ;)**

 **Anyway, all mistakes are mine and I don't own Pitch Perfect.**

 **Enjoy :)**

* * *

Beca rolls over in bed and looks at the clock. It's almost 3:15 in the morning and she's been tossing and turning all night. She lifts her pillow from under her head and places it over her face, letting out an aggravated moan.

A small chime comes from her nightstand. She turns her head and can see the light from her phone illuminating her childhood bedroom. Stuffing the pillow back behind her head, she reaches out and unlocks her phone, wondering who would need her at this time of night… or morning.

It's Chloe. Of course.

She smiles, remembering her best friend is staying with her cousins in Arizona for Christmas and it's a good three hours earlier there making it just after midnight.

 **Chloe [3:13am]:** Merrryyyy Christmasssssssss Beccccccaaaaaaaaaaa!

A picture attached to the message shows a very pink cheeked Chloe Beale with her cousin, Chelsea, both donning ugly Christmas sweaters. Chloe has green tinsel woven through French braids, complimenting her red hair, tied into bows at the ends. There's glittery red face paint under her eyes that's now all smudged and coming off that Beca assumes is from their annual Christmas Eve Family Football Match. The Beale's are an interesting, but fun bunch. Beca would know. She spent Thanksgiving with them last year, and it was everything but boring.

Beca smiles remembering the occasion last year, and how Chloe's cousin, Jeff, almost broke Beca in half during their football match. He may only be 17, but he's over 6 feet tall and pushing 200 pounds. And tackling is not off limits in the Beale family.

 **Beca [3:15am]:** oh my how you make that ugly sweater look not so ugly (;

 **Chloe [3:15am]:** whyyyy are you up rn? did i wake you? it's so late becaaaa

Beca lets out an audible laugh. Of course Chloe would be concerned with Beca not getting enough sleep the night before Christmas.

 **Beca [3:16am]:** yes it's after 3am here, chlo. but i was already awake. can't sleep..

 **Chloe [3:17am]:** you okay?

 **Beca [3:17am]:** of course. just excited for christmas i guess (:

It's a total lie, and she knows it. She's been replaying the conversation with her mother over and over in her head for hours. And every time she closes her eyes, flashes of the dream come to the forefront of her mind, making sleep a non-option tonight. But Chloe's been drinking since this afternoon so there's no way she'll pick up on that. So, Beca goes with it and hopes the other girl will follow along.

 **Chloe [3:19am]:** i call bullshit.. i can see your nose growing from arizona!

Or not… Beca scrunches up her nose, touching the end with her fingertips. The redhead is good. It's like a sixth sense, being able to tell when someone is lying… especially when it involves emotional baggage. If something is bothering you, she'll pick up on it, even through a text, apparently.

 **Beca [3:21am]:** okay you caught me.. i've just had a lot on my mind. it's not a big deal..

She sits back and waits for Chloe's reply. She knows the redhead will want to know what's going on with her and for every last detail. She may even ask if Beca wants to FaceTime so they can "properly talk it out." Chloe has talked her through many Jesse and Beca fights over the years this way.

 **Chloe [3:23am]:** okay.. i won't bug you.. but i'm here if you need to talk..

Beca reads the reply over a few more times, and scratches her head. It's not like Chloe to just back down like that, but she appreciates it nonetheless. She's sure the redhead is probably just having fun with her family. The girl wasn't even expecting Beca to be awake when she sent the text. So, Beca decides to just leave it at that and let her friend enjoy the short time she has to spend with her family.

 **Beca [3:25am]:** i know… merry christmas, chlo

She silences her phone and places it back on her nightstand face down so she can't see the screen light up, in case Chloe feels the need to respond.

Closing her eyes, she thinks of the picture of Chloe with her cousin, trying to keep away the memories of the dream and the previous happenings of the night, smiling knowing that it's working. So she keeps reminding herself of times she's spent with Chloe and her crazy family. Starting with last Thanksgiving, and going all the way back to the first time she met her parents after they won ICCA's her sophomore year.

She's not sure when, but she eventually drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Beca's startled awake the next morning by the incessant buzzing sound coming from her nightstand. She opens her eyes too fast, blinded by the morning sun coming through the window, closing them again in pain. Feeling around for her phone, she finally lands on it and turns it over, letting out a grunt when she realizes it's her father calling.

"Hey, dad, good morning! Merry Christmas!" she says, answering the phone as bubbly as she can.

"Merry Christmas, Beca!" he chimes back, causing the girl to groan at his overly cheery tone. "But, it's hardly morning. It's well past 11, honey."

Beca pauses and opens her eyes to peer at the digital alarm clock on her night stand that reads: 11:57am.

"Well, would you look at that," she says. Her father laughs on the other line.

"You know, I was always thankful you weren't one of those kids who wanted to wake up at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning to open her gifts. You've always appreciated a good night's sleep, but noon time is pushing it. Even for you." He laughs again.

"Yeah," she says, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. "I know. I went to bed pretty late. Mom and I stayed up later than usual baking cookies. Guess I just needed to catch up on some rest." She shrugs her shoulders.

"Hey, I'm not judging here. Just making a mere observation."

"Well, I appreciate that, dad," Beca replies, letting out a soft laugh. "Is the step-monster there?"

"Oh yes, she's right here. Hold on."

Beca can hear the phone being handed over, sounding like her father may have dropped it with all the noise coming from the other end. She lets out a giggle.

"Beca? Hi! Merry Christmas!" Sheila says, as she finally gets a hold of the phone.

"And to you as well," Beca replies.

"Oooh, we're so looking forward to you coming and staying with us in a few days! We've been getting ready for you all week long!" Beca can hear her father's voice in the background, unable to make out the words, and then Sheila's voice over his, muffled in response. "No, of course not… well I can make it a big deal if I want to… she's a big girl… she can handle me being over the top…" Beca can't help but laugh. She appreciates her father trying to tone it down, but she's with the step-monster on this one. She'd be lying if she tried to say she wasn't also looking forward to her stay. It took a lot of adjusting, but over the past three years, Sheila has really grown on Beca, making it rather hard for her to not like her anymore. "Sorry Beca," she says, sounding much closer this time. "Your father seems to think I don't know how to control myself around you."

"No, it's cool. I'm excited to come, too. I think it'll be fun. Plus, it's only for two days. I think that's about as much of you that I can handle at one time anyway." Beca smiles hard, trying not to laugh.

"Ooooh, so you think you're funny, huh?" Sheila starts. "Well… then I guess I'll just return this rather LARGE gift I have for you under the tree…"

"No! You don't have to do that!" Beca shouts, playing along.

"Yeah, that's what I thought…"

Beca laughs out loud.

"You know dad wouldn't let you, anyway. I have you guys right where I want you…"

An over exaggerated cackle comes through the line.

"You wish, honey!" Sheila responds. And they both laugh for a bit.

"Well, thanks for calling. I should probably get up and ready for the day. We're doing dinner at grams later."

"Oh of course, Beca. Please tell your mother and the rest of the family we say Merry Christmas."

Beca winces a little. It's still weird to her that her parents have remained civil with each other over all these years, given the circumstances. She's knows it was for her own benefit, for the feigned illusion for some resemblance of a happy family. As happy as you can be when you're so far apart. Her father walked out on them when Beca was younger for another woman. Of course, karma reared her ugly head and that relationship didn't last long. But he met Sheila not long after when he moved to Atlanta to take his current job at Barden, and they were married by the time Beca was in high school. A wedding of which she refused to attend.

"Yeah," she responds. "I will. Merry Christmas, guys."

They exchange farewells and hang up the phone. Beca rubs her eyes, crawls out of bed, and tosses on her black hoodie. She makes her way downstairs where she can smell the aroma of bacon and coffee. As she's making her way into the kitchen exchanging 'good mornings' with her mother, her phone starts to buzz again. Pulling it from her pocket, it reveals Chloe trying to FaceTime her. She looks at her reflection in the phone and cringes. Her hair is all over the place and her eyes are puffy and black from crying the night before with non-waterproof mascara. Suits her right for not washing her make-up off. She taps the button and answers it anyway. Her picture minimizes and Chloe pops up in the bigger picture.

"Beca! Hi!" Chloe practically screeches.

"Good morning, Chlo. Merry Christmas," Beca smiles back.

She takes note of Chloe's appearance. The redhead is wearing a form fitting sweater that's maroon with large black and blue flowers that really make her eyes pop. Her hair is down in big, wavy curls, and her make-up looks flawless. Her beaming smile, one of her best accessories, tops it all off. Beca is actually floored by the other woman's beauty. Especially the fact that she's three hours behind Beca and she's already up and ready for the day.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Becs! You look… like you just woke up." She giggles.

"Well… that's because I did," Beca replies. "And you look… ugh, unfair." She puffs out her bottom lip in a pout, and the redhead laughs.

"Unfair? What's the supposed to mean?"

"Well… you're three hours behind me and you're already up and breaking hearts…" Beca winks, and she's almost positive she managed to pull a blush to the other girl's cheeks.

"Why thank you, ma'am. So what are your plans for the day? Have you opened your gifts yet?"

"Well, I'm currently sitting at the kitchen island waiting for mother dearest to finish making those pancakes so I can stuff my face," Beca starts, flipping the camera to show her mother standing at the stove flipping a pancake in the pan.

"Oh, hi Janice!" Chloe coos.

"Hi Chloe. Merry Christmas!" Janice replies.

"Same to you," Chloe smiles back, but only Beca can see. "Oh wait, Beca! Are those the cookies you made last night? Let me see!" Chloe says, after catching a glimpse of the large plate of cookies wrapped in plastic wrap next to the stove. Beca sits up and zooms in so Chloe can get a better look.

"Yup, there they are. In all their sugary glory," Beca says.

"Are those… do I see pumpkins in there?" Chloe asks.

Beca's thankful the camera is facing the other way, as she's positive her face has turned a serious shade of red, if the prickly hot sensation creeping up her cheeks was anything to go by.

"Uh… yeah. We had a little mishap with the cookie cutters…" she says, ignoring the caustic scoff from her mother. She flips the camera back around to face her and attempts to change the subject. "But, no. I haven't done any gifts. I literally just walked downstairs," Beca continues.

"Oh no fun," Chloe pouts. She turns her head and Beca can hear her mother calling her from the other room. "Well, I have to go now! We're starting breakfast soon ourselves. Can I call you later?"

"Yeah… yeah of course. Tell everyone I said Merry Christmas!"

"I will. Bye Becs." Chloe shines one more bright smile and disconnects.

Beca places her phone down onto the island top and looks up at her mother, who is smiling her brilliant smile.

"Wanna get in here and give me a hand?" she asks, holding the spatula out for Beca to take.

Beca smiles and makes her way to the stove. Cooking with her mother is something she will never get tired of.

* * *

 **[December 31** **st** **, NYE back in Atlanta at her dad's house]**

"Dad, no, seriously, I couldn't have even remotely asked for a better gift," Beca says, looking back and forth between Sheila and her father as she places her travel bags by the door.

"Are you sure? Because, I can return it and get you something else…" Her father says, squinting his eyes. "You told us you didn't need anything this year besides a little cash for your Copenhagen trip, but I wanted to get you something substantial you could use for a long time. You had mentioned to Sheila something about this internship and not having the right stuff to—what did she say—get the job done?" Beca smiles and looks at her stepmother, who only gives her a curt nod. Beca knows her father misunderstood what she meant, because she was trying to say she didn't think she had what it took to be in the music industry. "So the guy at the store told me this was the next best thing for producers who want to do their work from home..."

"Dad," Beca says, placing her hand on his arm. "I assure you, this is perfect. I honestly can't thank you enough. I know this couldn't have been a small expense either." Beca looks down at the box on the floor holding her brand new iMac 27" Desktop computer. "I can use it strictly for music and keep my laptop for school and when I'm traveling," she says. She looks up at her father and can't help but mimic the warm smile that's lighting up his face.

"Great. This is great!" he says, clapping his hands together. "Alright then, let me give you a hand with all this." He bends over and grabs the box with her new computer in it while Sheila opens the front door. "Alright Becs, I'll meet you in the car," he calls behind him.

Beca replies she'll be right out and watches as he walks down the front walkway to his black Mercedes that's parked in the driveway. She's happy with the relationship they've been working on since she moved to Georgia. It's another reason why she's glad she stayed after her freshman year. After he had left all those years ago, their bond had been strained. Something Beca never thought would happen between them. She had always been such a daddy's girl growing up, he was someone she always admired. She loved him so much. Of course, she never stopped loving him, but after he left, her whole world began to fall apart. It made it hard for her to forgive him. But over the past three years she had a lot of time to work on that, and she was able to accept what happened and move on.

Beca smiles again and then turns to face her step-mother, who is standing holding the front door open.

"So… here we are. Surviving another dreaded holiday in each other's presence," Beca mocks, getting a rather impressive eye roll from Sheila. "Oh wow," she says. "That was—you're getting a little too good at that…"

"Well, of course, I learned from the best…" Sheila retorts, poking Beca in the shoulder.

"Oh, of course," Beca says, trying not to smile, but losing that battle when Sheila starts to laugh and pulls her in for a hug.

"Ah, it's been nice, Beca. Really, it has." She lets go and allows the brunette to back away and reclaim her personal space. Beca nods in agreement. "Well, we're always here if you need us. Thanks for coming and staying. Please tell that darling redhead friend of yours I say hello! Oh, and Jesse too!"

At this point, Beca has already grabbed her travel bag and headed onto the front steps.

"Will do!" she calls back behind her. "Later, step-monster!" She tosses up a wave and makes her way to the car. They fill their ride with casual conversation about the upcoming World's competition.

Her father pulls up to the front of the Bellas house about 10 minutes later, giving the outside aesthetic a once over.

"Um… do you know there's toilet paper hanging from that tree?" he asks, pointing out the window and turning to look at his daughter. Beca doesn't even look up at him as she leans over to grab her bag at her feet.

"Yeah, we couldn't reach that side of the tree because of the way those bushes over there run along the side of the Treble's yard." She waves her hand in no general direction, then looks up to meet her father's puzzled expression. "I saw Lily hanging out up there a couple weeks ago and asked her to take it down. Guess she didn't," she shrugs, then pushes herself out the door.

Her father helps her inside with her belongings and brings her new computer up to her room. Beca insisted he didn't have to help her set it all up, that she could manage on her own. And after going back and forth for a couple minutes he finally gave up. They said their goodbyes and he went on his merry way.

It took her about two hours, but Beca finally managed to get her new iMac set-up and has started screwing around on some new mixing programs. So far, she thinks it's the greatest gift her father has ever given her. Well, besides life, that is. She smiles at the fact that her father is now being super supportive of her dreams to tear apart the music industry.

Her phone lights up with a text from Jesse.

 **Jesse [3:33pm]:** my flight just got in. i'll unpack and shower when i get back.. you wanna order out for lunch?

 **Beca [3:33pm]:** works for me. maybe we can come up with a plan for NYE tonight?

 **Jesse [3:34pm]:** YES! i think i have something you'd like!

Beca replies with a thumbs up emoji, then exits her thread with Jesse and hovers over Chloe's name just below his. She finds it a little strange that she hasn't heard from the redhead since yesterday afternoon. They've pretty much spoken every day over break, minus the couple that fell under her and Jesse's 'un-plugged' agreement. She taps on the girl's name and sends a quick text.

 **Beca [3:45pm]:** hey chlo. what's up?

She sits and waits for a response. But after staring at her screen for a few minutes, she decides to put it down and keep herself busy with her editing programs until Jesse comes over.

Another 45 minutes have passed, and Beca still hasn't received a response from her best friend. But she did get a text from Jesse saying he's back at the Treble house and will be over in about a half hour after he showers. Also, that it was Beca's turn to pick and order take-out. So she makes her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, finding the drawer with the pamphlets of all the local take-out restaurants. Settling on Chinese, she takes out her phone, dials the number, and orders their usual.

After hanging up, Beca checks her phone again for a message from Chloe. Nothing. She scratches her head and makes her way into the living room, turning on the TV, searching for TruTV in the hopes that they were showing re-runs of Impractical Jokers, her favorite show.

True to his word, Jesse's knocking at the door no more than 30 minutes later holding the large paper bag of Chinese food when Beca goes to let him in. She pokes her head around looking for the delivery man, looking back at Jesse with a questioning cock to her brows when she doesn't see anyone else around.

"He pulled up as I was on my way over so I just paid him and sent him on his way," Jesse says.

"Oh, well.. thanks," Beca says, stepping out of the way to allow the boy inside.

Beca heads into the living room and clears off the coffee table so Jesse can lay out all of the food cartons. She grabs some paper plates and utensils from the kitchen. They sit and watch TV while eating their lunch in comfortable silence, laughing at the funny antics of the Jokers.

After a while, Jesse wipes his mouth with his napkin and places his empty plate onto the coffee table, then turns to look at his girlfriend sitting next to him.

"So," he starts, clearing his throat and licking his lips. "Remember how I told you Codie had gotten those tickets for him and his girl to go to the ClubZone New Year's Eve party at the Westin?"

Beca jabs her fork into a chicken finger and dunks it into her duck sauce, shaking her head 'yes.'

"Well, apparently her parents surprised them with a trip to Greece to visit her family for Christmas and they won't be back until the third. So…" he drags out, reaching into his back pocket, pulling out two pieces of folded paper. "He gave them to me."

Beca's eyes light up and pop out of her head. She swallows her food and practically throws her plate onto the coffee table, then reaches out and takes the tickets from Jesse's hands, unfolding them.

"Dude, are you serious?" she exclaims.

"Dead ass," Jesse replies, laughing at his girlfriend's adorable response. "I know you've always wanted to go so I figured why not. It's super last minute so if you're not up for it, it's cool. It's got a sorta fancy dress code, so if you wanna skip out, I totally understand…"

"No! No, I totally wanna go! I live in a house with eight other women, I'm sure I can come up with something to wear." She looks up to Jesse and smiles. "This is so awesome. Thank you."

"Anything for my girl," he says, placing his hand on Beca's arm, leaning in for a kiss.

Their lips connect and Beca drops the tickets onto her lap, scoots closer to Jesse and throws her arms around his neck. Caught up in the excitement, she deepens the kiss, sliding her tongue along his bottom lip. Jesse wastes no time taking advantage of the intimacy happening between them. He moves to his knees, never breaking their connection, and slowly lowers Beca onto her back. The brunette's hands move to his torso and up his shirt, tracing along his rib line, then scraping up his back. Jesse moves his finger tips to the hem of her shirt, lifting it slightly, then wraps his hand around her hip bone, pulling her body closer to his. Beca can feel his arousal and is reaching to undo the buttons on his jeans when she hears the front door suddenly open.

Jesse throws himself off of his girlfriend and sits upright, Beca jolting up after him, turning to face the door.

"Chloe?! What the hell?!" Beca screams, pulling her shirt back down, feeling so vulnerable in this moment.

"Oh my god!" Chloe yells, covering her eyes, turning around and closing the door behind her. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize anyone was home…"

Beca stands and begins to clean up the food containers as an attempt to act normal. In Chloe's defense, most of the lights in the house were off and the blinds were drawn shut.

"It's fine," Beca says, looking up to see Chloe has turned around now, her cheeks rather red, presumably from embarrassment. But she also notices the girl's eyes are a little glossy and wonders if she's been drinking. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming home until Friday?"

"I wasn't, but…" Chloe pauses and looks at Jesse, a look of guilt crossing her expression and she looks down at her feet.

"Yeah, I'm gonna get going," Jesse says, standing from his place. Beca turns back and catches his gaze. He looks disappointed, and it ties her stomach in knots. "I'll give you time to get ready. Pick you up around 7:45?" Beca just nods in agreement and mouths that she's sorry. He gives her a sideways smirk and heads out the front door, saying bye to Chloe on his way.

Chloe starts to head for the stairs towards their bedroom. Beca goes into the kitchen and puts the food containers into the refrigerator then makes her way up after Chloe, finding her laying on her bed staring at the ceiling with her hands folded over her stomach.

"So, why are you home two days early?" Beca asks, sitting on the edge of Chloe's bed and looking down at her. Chloe turns to face her.

"Tom invited me to this event for New Year's because his date ditched him last minute," she says. Her eyes dart between both of Beca's, waiting.

"I've been texting you," Beca says, ignoring the fact that Chloe just admitted to having a date with Tom, the guy who's only ever used her for his own physical gratifications.

"I know," Chloe replies, moving to sit cross legged in front of her friend. "It was super last minute and I spent most of last night on the phone with the airlines trying to switch my flights. And then I've been traveling all day. Tom picked me up a while ago and we stopped to grab food and drinks on the way back." She stares expectantly at Beca. Unsure of what exactly she's even expecting, but she's unable to read the other girl's expression. She exhales as she watches the corner of Beca's lips curve into a smile.

"So, you're drunk right now?" Beca asks, and Chloe just laughs, pushing her shoulder.

"No, not drunk. Maybe a little tipsy, but definitely not drunk," she laughs again. "I'm saving that for later," she adds, with a wink.

"Oh, right," Beca says, rolling her eyes, but still smiling. "So, what's this event you're heading to?" the brunette asks, curious.

"Oh! It's some fancy party at the Westin Hotel!" Chloe exclaims. Beca cocks her head and furrows her brows.

"The ClubZone party?"

Chloe hums in response.

"You're not mad, are you? I know you've always wanted to go…" Chloe says, trailing off.

"No, not mad," Beca says, trying to keep a straight face.

"You look upset…"

"I can't be upset, Chlo. I'm going, too," she reveals, letting her smile escape. Chloe's eyes widen and her jaw drops.

"You are?!" she cries. Beca laughs and shakes her head up and down. "Oh my gosh! This is going to be so much fun! I'm _so_ excited!" Chloe's made it onto her knees now and is bouncing on her heels, clapping her hands. She looks down at her watch and notes the time. "We've got a little over an hour… help me pick an outfit!" she squeals, bounding off the bed and dragging Beca to her closet in one swift movement.

In an hour, both girls are decked out and ready to go. Chloe finishes applying Beca's eyeliner, and takes a step back.

"Okay, stand up so I can get the full view," she says, motioning with her hands.

Beca stands and does a half-assed spin, then places her hands on her hips. She watches as Chloe's eyes wander her body, taking in every last detail, so Beca does the same.

Chloe's wearing a mint green, knee length, lace dress. The slip underneath conceals the areas that need to be concealed, leaving her skin bare under the lace that covers up to her neck and down her arms. It's very classy, and so Chloe. Her hair is up off of her shoulders in a messy bun held by about a thousand bobby pins with effortless wisps of red wavy curls dripping down the sides. Her look is all topped off with some strappy, nude heels and a perfectly executed smokey eye. Between the color of the dress and the girl's makeup, Beca's positive she's never seen Chloe's eyes so radiantly blue.

"What's the verdict?" Beca asks, realizing they've both been staring.

"Perfection," Chloe says, kissing her fingers and sealing it with a wink.

Beca was able to find something from Flo's closet, since her own is, as Chloe says, "pretty drab," and the tiny Guatemalan is more her size. It's a light pink colored dress made of sheer fabric. It's pleated around the bust and flows down loosely to just above her knees. Chloe found a pair of black heels that wrap up and around the ankles in the back of her closet. Beca allowed the redhead to give her loose, wavy curls and to do her makeup for her, finishing off the ensemble with her black leather jacket, because, well she's still Beca Mitchell.

Beca turns to look herself over in the mirror and smiles. Chloe just gets her so well. Her makeup is dark, but not too heavy. Enough to bring out her eyes and add just the right amount of edge to her look.

"Thanks, Chlo," she says, turning to face her friend, smiling.

"Anytime, babe," Chloe chimes with a wink. Beca's insides do a tiny flip at the redhead's choice of wording, and she's slightly thrown off by the affect the girl's wink has on her. She internally attempts to shake it off, watching as Chloe grabs her light pink clutch off her bed. "You ready?" the readhead asks, holding out her hand for Beca to take.

"Yeah," the brunette replies, placing her hand in Chloe's. "Let's do this."

* * *

 **[ClubZone NYE Party at the Westin Hotel]**

The music is pumping and the drinks are flowing as the night inches closer and closer to the new year. For the most part, Beca and Jesse have stayed close by Tom and Chloe, occasionally breaking off for bathroom and rest breaks. But even during those times, Beca finds her eyes wandering the ballroom in search of her best friend.

Pressed against Jesse while dancing, heading back from the bar, walking back from the bathroom. She finds the more she drinks, the more she desires to be around the redhead.

Jesse spins Beca around to face him when the song transitions to a slower tempo. She wraps her arms around his neck and he places his around her waist, pulling her close. She rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes as the move side to side.

"Are you having a good time?" Jesse asks, craning his neck to speak directly into her ear, his speech a little slurred. Beca lifts her gaze and meets his eyes.

"I am. Thank you for this," she smiles.

"Of course," he responds, kissing the top of her head as she places it back on his shoulder. "I love you, Beca."

Beca doesn't respond. Instead she just readjusts her grip around his neck and squeezes him, hoping he gets the message that she loves him, too.

As the song comes to an end, Beca straightens herself up and pulls away slowly, listening as the DJ comes over the speakers.

"Alright, alright! Is everyone enjoying their night?" he calls out and the crowd cheers wildly. "Okay everyone, we're getting closer to the final minutes of 2014! I want everyone with a drink in their hands! Find a partner, because in T-minus three minutes, the countdown to the new year begins! Let's gooooooo!" Everyone cheers loudly around them as the music picks back up.

Jesse pulls Beca close to him again, leaning in so she can hear him.

"Let's grab drinks quick… before the line gets too long," he says, nodding toward the bar that's slowly gaining a crowd.

They manage to squeeze themselves in and get two drinks and make their way back to the dance floor. They dance for the next minute or so before the music lulls and the DJ is now counting backwards from thirty. Beca's eyes search the room looking for signs of Chloe and Tom, unable to find them for the last five songs at least. She's wondering where they've run off to and assumed maybe they got caught up at the bar.

"Nineteen… eighteen… seventeen…"

The crowd continues to count down.

"Ten… nine… eight…"

Beca puts her cup to her lips and downs the last of her drink.

"Three… two… one… HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Just as the video footage of the ball dropping lights up the ballroom, Beca catches movement of red hair from the corner of her eye, finally spotting Chloe and Tom. She drops her empty cup, thankful it's only plastic, and feels a sudden wave of something crash down on her as she watches Chloe collide her lips into Tom's. And for what feels like an eternity, she watches as their hands roam each other's bodies, their lips never parting.

Beca suddenly becomes aware of the hand around her wrist. She looks down to find Jesse gripping onto her. Then she looks up and visibly cringes at the pained look across her boyfriend's face. Unsure of what to do next, Beca shakes her arm free and beelines for the bathrooms.

Once inside, she heads into one of the stalls and locks herself in, thankful that the bathroom is empty. She sits on the toilet and pulls her knees up into her chest, taking slow deep breaths.

What the hell is she doing? Why did she react in that way? Was she… jealous? She's never pegged herself as the jealous type, but she knows what it feels like. And what just came out of nowhere and hit her right in the gut sure as hell felt a lot like jealousy. But, jealous of who? Tom? She can't be jealous of Tom. Because him and Chloe aren't a thing. It's just a fling because they're both alone and drinking tonight.

And she's totally NOT in love with her best friend. And Chloe doesn't _belong_ to her. So of course she's not jealous of Tom. That would be crazy. Wouldn't it?

She squeezes her eyes shut and presses her hands over her ears in an attempt to dull the ringing in them. And when she closes her eyes, Jesse's face floats across her mind. His eyebrows knit together, a look of disappointment taking over his expression. A look that makes Beca's heart wrench and shrink a few sizes in her chest.

"Shit," she whispers to herself. "Fuck, fuck fuck."

She stands and makes her way out of the stall and washes her hands at the sink. She fixes her eye makeup and then stares at her reflection in the mirror. She shakes her head and hesitates, then makes her way out of the bathroom to find Jesse to maybe try and explain what just happened. Though, she has no idea how to do that.

As she opens the door, she runs directly into the man in question. Looking up, she sees him standing outside the bathroom door waiting for her, holding her jacket that she ended up taking off midway through the night in one hand, and her clutch in the other, offering them to her. She takes them from him, her eyes not once leaving his face, trying to read him. All she can get is that he's clearly had a lot to drink by the look of his hooded eyelids.

"I called for a cab, it should be here," he says, motioning to the door.

Beca just follows his lead, walking outside into the cool Atlanta air, crawling into the back of the cab sitting out front. They sit in complete silence the entire ride back.

The cab stops just in front of the Treble house. Jesse exits first, then offers his hand to help Beca out. She takes it after handing the driver a $20 and gets out, letting Jesse lead her inside, and up the stairs to his room. She sits on the edge of his bed, watching him as he takes his jacket off, unbuttons his shirt, and slides out of his dress pants. He clumsily hops around the room as he pulls his socks off and makes his way over to the bed to sit next to his girlfriend. He's wearing just his boxers and a plain white under-tee.

They sit in silence for a few seconds, each staring at the floor, before Jesse turns to Beca. He takes her clutch from her hands and places it onto his bedside table. Then he reaches up and slips his hands under her jacket sliding it down over her shoulders, leaning in to kiss her as he does. She kisses him back timidly, wiggling her arms to free them from their sleeves. Jesse leans back and tosses her jacket to the floor. He stands from his place on the bed and kneels down, slowly removing her heels. He glides his hands gently up her calves, over her knees, and up her thighs, squeezing at the top.

Beca's breath catches in her throat, and she swallows hard, a heavy sensation building in the pit of her stomach. She bites her tongue and closes her eyes. She feels lost in this moment. She feels misplaced… like she shouldn't be here. Like she doesn't belong.

Jesse removes his hands from their place on her upper thighs and uses them to gently push her onto her back and up the bed. He slowly crawls up her body settling between her legs, his arms on either side of her head. Dropping down, he places a light kiss onto her lips, moving to her jaw, down the side of her neck, towards her collarbone.

Beca's hands lay by her sides as she continues to bite her tongue. She grabs a handful of Jesse's comforter in each hand, her jaw clenching. She wants to submit to Jesse's wishes, fulfill all his wants and needs. Just give him what he desires. But her head is swimming as her brain is starting to sober up, her ears still pounding from the loud music. She's stuck somewhere within the walls in her head, unable to find her way out.

Jesse's left hand begins to roam, his fingertips tracing over the swell of her breast, tugging down on the fabric, exposing her. Beca gasps as he pinches lightly at her nipple, a mix of arousal and something else begins to creep its way through her body, and she tries to ease into it, just let it happen. But, then it's laying heavy on her chest, taking all of the air from her lungs, and she feels like she can't breathe.

She brushes Jesse's hand away and struggles to sit up, his intoxicated brain taking too long to catch on to what's happening. Finally, she manages to push him up and off of her, scrambling to sit at the edge of the bed, gripping her chest, sucking in air.

Jesse moves to her side with one hand over hers, the other tucking her hair behind her ear. He doesn't say anything, he just waits, patiently, while she catches her breath.

"I know I'm good, babe, but damn… I actually took your breath away," he gloats. Beca's still breathing heavy. She closes her eyes and shakes her head.

Jesse tips her head up and to the side with his finger under her chin, then leans in to kiss her again. She kisses him back lightly, but as he attempts to deepen it, Beca pulls away, pushing him at the shoulders when he tries to follow her.

"Stop," she whispers, but he keeps moving forward. "Jesse, stop!" she yells.

She's looking down, her hands still at his shoulders. A moment passes before she lifts her eyes to meet his, the same look on his face that was there after the ball dropped. The same anguish written across his forehead, his eyes glassy.

Beca drops her hands and pushes herself away, creating more space between them. She takes a stuttered breath and lets it out slowly. She opens her mouth to speak, to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. And then Jesse is moving. He's readjusting his position, turning away from her, staring at the floor. She wants to reach out to touch him, but she's frozen in her place.

"Beca," he starts, softly. "I—I think… we should—I think we need to talk…"

Beca's brows furrow as she notes the despondent tone to his voice, his words coming out clear as if he's completely sobered up in the last ten seconds. She wants to say something, but she can't. She just waits, giving him time to collect his thoughts. He sits wringing his hands together.

"Things have been off lately. I know you see it, too. We're just… we're drifting apart. And I've been trying so hard to keep it together. I've been trying to be as supportive as I can. We never see each other anymore…" He stops to look up at her now.

"We're—we're just busy, Jesse…"

"No, Beca. That's not it. When you love someone the way I love you, you make the time. You do what it takes. But it's not there. It's not happening. The last few months have been crazy for both of us, sure… But, something… something's changed. I don't know what it is, and you may not either. But it's different now."

Beca can feel the tears rolling to the corners of her eyes. Her bottom lip begins to quiver. She tries with everything in her power to understand what's happening. But her brain refuses to let her comprehend.

"Jesse," she breathes, her voice cracking at the sudden realization of what's unfolding in front of her, as a tear trickles over and drops to her chest.

"Beca," he says, leaning closer, placing his hand on her knee. "I think it's obvious what's happening. I think—I think we should… shit I never thought I would ever have to do this." Jesse stops, turning his head away so Beca won't see him cry. He takes a breath and steadies himself. "It just doesn't make sense to keep trying to—to make this work… when it's so clear that it's not…" he says.

"What are you saying?" Beca pleads, the tears coming out harder and faster now.

Jesse rises from the bed and picks up Beca's jacket from the floor, handing it to her with her clutch and heels. She just looks up at him in utter disbelief. This can't possibly be happening right now.

"I'm so sorry, Beca," he whispers, tears streaking his face.

Beca shifts her gaze to the stuff in his hands, then back to his face. He tightens his lips and lets a sad smile form at the corners of his lips.

She takes her belongings and stands, making her way to the door, stopping to look back at him one more time, his back towards her, his head hung down.

She makes her way down the stairs and out the front door. It's started to rain now, but she doesn't even notice. She trudges across the wet grass, heels in hand, pushing into the front door of the Bella house, thankful no one else is back from break yet. She drops everything at the door and throws herself into a heap on the couch, not caring that she's soaking wet from the rain.

Numbness is the only sensation she can feel right now. Her head begins to pound as her now sober body works its way towards a hangover. She hugs her knees tight into her chest and she cries. She just sits in the darkness of the empty house and she cries. Those cries turn to sobs. And for the next hour, she mourns a relationship she hadn't realized had made such a large impact on her life. Three years of her life.

Jesse was supposed to be her happy ever after. And now he's gone. Cutting the cord with the sharpest knife he could find.

She cries until she can't cry anymore. Until there's nothing left. Until she falls into a deep, and dreamless sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This chapter moves back and forth a bit between Chloe's and Beca's POV. I felt it was necessary to do it this way. Honestly, there's quite a bit of jumping around in this chapter between POV's and flashbacks. I made sure to add breaks with time stamps and descriptions so you'll know who is who and when it's supposed to be taking place, so I hope it's easy to follow. Feel free to leave a review and let me know if it all makes sense, or if I should never do this again lol**

 **We learn a lot about Chloe here. Some good, some bad. I'll let you be the judge.**

 **Music used in this chapter:**

 **Lonely Together by Avicii ft. Rita Ora**

 **Tired (Kygo Remix) by Alan Walker & Gavin James**

 **Okay, moving onnnnnn… Enjoy (:**

 ***I do not own Pitch Perfect, and all mistakes are mine***

* * *

 **[Beca's POV-New Year's morning]**

Beca wakes with the rising sun as it beams through the crack in the living room blinds. She places her hand to her forehead, the throbbing sensation becoming more intense as she comes to. Sitting up, she reaches out and touches the home button on her phone to check the time.

It's dead.

Heading into the kitchen to fetch herself some coffee and aspirin for her headache, she catches a glimpse of the time on the oven clock: 7:45am. Beca groans. She knows she shouldn't be awake right now given the fact that she barely slept at all last night, but she also knows there's no way she can go back to sleep.

She tossed and turned most of the night on that godforsaken couch. The couch that Amy broke during one of their GNI's (Girl's Nights In) last year after chasing and tackling poor Jessica in a drunken fit of rage when the smaller blonde had the nerve to call Amy out on her alleged love affair with Bumper Allen. The couch that, being the broke college students they all were, they were never able to replace. So, Beca slept with a protruding metal rod jabbing into her back anytime she attempted to roll over, the dip in the center of the couch causing a tightness in her muscles no level of deep tissue massage could even remotely relieve.

Beca pops two Tylenol in her mouth and washes them down with water. Instead of coffee, she makes her way up to her bedroom, wondering if Chloe came home. When she finds the room empty, she decides to grab some clothes and head to the bathroom to wash up.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting to see when she walked into her room. She didn't exactly want to face Chloe—or anyone—right now.

In the bathroom, Beca washes her face free of the makeup that's already half gone thanks to her tears and incessant eye rubbing. She brushes her teeth and slips out of the dress from last night, out of the reminder of everything that went down only a few hours prior. She folds it and places it on the closed toilet lid so she remembers to wash it and return it to Flo's closet. She changes into a loose fitting gray tee and black skinny jeans.

Back in her room, she puts on her black Converse and opts for her black zip-up hoodie. She puts her phone on its charger, then grabs some cash and her license from her clutch and tucks them into her back pocket. She scoops up the keys to Stacie's car and heads out the front door. She's unsure where's she's heading. Just anywhere but here.

Beca drives for a half hour through the back roads around Barden. She finds herself in a secluded area surrounded by trees and pulls off onto the side of the road. Turning the key in the ignition, she hears the purr of the engine come to a stop.

It's misty out, a heavy layer of fog obstructs her view, unable to see more than 10 feet in front of her at a time. She genuinely has no idea where she is right now since she left her phone back at the house, but she steps out of the car anyway, walking into the tree line that's sparkling from the sunlight reflecting off the water droplets laying thick in the air around her. She inhales deeply.

After walking for a few minutes, Beca finds a fallen tree. She sits and closes her eyes, taking in the sounds of birds chirping, the occasional car passing from the road, and the babbling of a brook or stream somewhere off in the other direction.

Beca's mind wanders to last night. To the things Jesse had said to her. How he told her that things were 'different now,' and what that even meant. And she wonders when everything went wrong. When Jesse started to feel in such a way that he could just abruptly end their long term relationship seemingly out of the blue. But, was this really that far out of left field? Is this all somehow her fault? She wonders how long this had been happening, when they started to drift apart, and why he never tried to tell her. Beca simply doesn't understand when the communication aspect of their relationship just went out the window.

She was comfortable with Jesse. She felt secure with him. Was she happy? She thinks so. Beca just assumed this was how these things went. Just figured that's the way it was supposed to feel.

Why was she so bad at this stuff? Why did relationships have to be so complicated?

She leans forward onto her knees and buries her face into her hands. She feels so lost right now. Not because she probably is actually _physically_ lost somewhere in the back woods outside of Atlanta city limits, but because she's just so disoriented. So thrown off. Her whole world was flipped upside down last night. And she can't wrap her head around any of it. Jesse was supposed to be the one, wasn't he?

Beca straightens up and cranes her neck back, taking another deep breath, then stands and heads back in the direction she came in, praying she didn't stray too far from the road.

Once she's made it back to the car, she hops inside and starts the engine. The gas light comes on, dinging a few times to let her know. So she makes her way to the nearest gas station to fill it up and drive around some more before heading back. She just needs more time to clear her mind.

* * *

 **[Chloe's POV-New Year's morning]**

Chloe waves to Tom who beeps as he pulls off while she fiddles with her keys to unlock the front door. She pushes her way inside, her heels in her hand, still dressed from the night before, her hair a mess. She tip toes up the stairs so she won't bring any attention to herself if anyone happened to be home, heading straight for the bathroom to shower, avoiding her shared room with Beca. Last night is not a conversation she's ready to have right now.

She finds the dress her tiny brunette friend had worn the night before folded on top of the toilet, and she wonders when Beca had come home.

In the shower, she sits under the hot water for a while and contemplates her life choices. And after a solid half hour, she's decided she's at least scalded her own disappointments away. She gets out and wraps her hair in a towel, her body in another, then makes her way to her room, scooping up her clothes and Beca's on the way out.

She's not entirely shocked to find it empty, thinking Beca had probably come home this morning to shower and change before heading out with Jesse or something. She assumed her roommate had stayed at the Treble house with her boyfriend, especially after how abruptly they disappeared once the ball had dropped.

Chloe attempts to shake off the mental images from the night before, tosses Beca's dress into the girl's hamper, and gets herself ready for the day. Opting to not do her hair, she throws it into a messy bun. She collects her dirty laundry from the floor adding it to her own hamper and makes her way downstairs to get going on her laundry. She's made herself a mental list of chores she wants to get done before the rest of the Bellas return from break over the next couple of days.

Separating her clothing into lights, darks, and whites, she tosses the lights into the washer and pours her detergent in. Chloe makes her way into the kitchen and connects her iPhone to Beca's Bluetooth speaker on the counter, choosing a random playlist on Spotify.

She hums along to the tune of _My Perogative_ by _Bobby Brown_ while she cleans out the refrigerator. Tossing out all the old and expired foods so she can start a grocery list. She thinks back on the events of the last couple days…

 _ **[Flashback-December 30**_ _ **th**_ _ **in Arizona with her family]**_

 _Chloe's sitting on the couch with her cousin Chelsea in the living room of her aunt's house watching a movie with the rest of her family when her phone goes off. It's a text…_

 _From… Tom? She hasn't spoken to him in a while. She opens it, curious as to what he might want._

 _ **Tom [10:56am]:**_ _hey chloe. how r u? hope u had a nice x-mas. r u in az w/ ur fam again?_

 _She internally cringes at his incessant need to shorten everything._

 _ **Chloe [10:56am]:**_ _hey tom. my christmas was great, thanks for asking. yes i'm in AZ with my family. what can i do for you?_

 _She's not exactly trying to be short with him, it's just that things didn't exactly end so great between them last year. They had broken things off 'for good' when Tom graduated and Chloe didn't, fighting over the fact that she had flunked a class that 'no one in their right mind should fail,' according to him. He had moved on not long after, and so had Chloe. But, he came back into her life last winter after his girlfriend had broken up with him, and was calling almost every other night, usually drunk, and looking for a hookup. That was, until Beca confronted him, calling him something along the lines of a 'pathetic loser with nothing better to do.' And Chloe hasn't heard from him since._

 _ **Tom [10:58am]:**_ _lol u got me. nvm its cool. ur 2 far away ne way…_

 _Chloe taps the sides of her phone, wondering what she should say or if she should just ignore him. He was obviously about to ask if she was around for a quick rendezvous, and she's pretty sure she should be offended right now. But then another text comes through…_

 _ **Tom [10:59am]:**_ _i got 2 tix 2 the ClubZone party the Westin for 2moro & my date bailed. was gonna c if u wanted 2 go w/ me…_

 _Chloe pauses. She's sort of always wanted to check the event out since Beca mentioned it a couple years ago. It sounds like a really good time._

 _Before even bothering to respond, she nudges her cousin next to her and nods her head to have the girl follow her into the other room. Getting up from her seat on the couch, Chelsea following behind her, they head into the kitchen._

 _"What's up," Chelsea asks, keeping her voice low._

 _"Okay, so… you remember that guy, Tom, I used to date?" Chloe starts._

 _"You mean 'fuck buddy,' Tom?" Chelsea speculates with air quotes, a smirk forming on her lips. Chloe just rolls her eyes, but doesn't protest. "Yeah, I remember him."_

 _"Well, he just asked me to go to this big party with him that happens every New Year's Eve in Atlanta because his date bailed…" she trails off, looking down at her phone._

 _"Aaaand… you want me to tell you if I think it's a good idea or not?" Chelsea presses. Chloe looks up at her, her eyes pleading._

 _"Kinda?" she shrugs. Chelsea just giggles, then sighs when she realizes Chloe looks genuinely pained over this._

 _"Does this have anything to do with not wanting to disappoint a certain someone?" Chelsea asks, and Chloe's eyes widen._

 _"What? Who, Beca? No, of course not…" she objects. Chelsea just tilts her head in a way that says she doesn't believe the redhead. "Okay… alright. Maybe…" she says._

 _"Listen, Chloe. I can't tell you how to live your life, but I can tell you what I would do… And I would totally go for it."_

 _"You would?" Chloe asks, her brows creasing._

 _"Hell yeah," Chelsea says. "Dude, I've seen Tom. He's hot. And you're young, single, and also hot. Who the hell says you can't screw around with whoever you want?" Chloe just stares at the strawberry blonde across from her, unsure. Chelsea reaches forward and places her hand on Chloe's shoulder. "I know how you feel about Beca, I do. But when are you gonna start taking care of yourself? She has a boyfriend, Chlo. She doesn't dictate your life." She pauses, her facial features softening. "I've heard the way you talk about her. I'm not stupid. It's clear you're in love with this girl." Chloe winces, not realizing how painfully obvious she's been about her feelings for Beca. "But, she can't give you everything you need, Chloe. You're only human, you know…"_

 _Chloe scrunches up her nose, but smiles nonetheless, because Chelsea's right. She is only human and she has needs, too. Plus, it doesn't have to be all about that one thing, right? She can go to this party with Tom just because it's something she's wanted to do. Not because she wants to let go of all her sexual frustrations. Although, it wouldn't hurt to do that as well…_

 _"Okay… I guess you're right," Chloe says, her smile growing. "Can I borrow your computer? I need to change my flights."_

 _Chelsea smiles back and nods, motioning for Chloe to follow her upstairs._

 _They spend the majority of the day and night online and on the phone with her airlines, trying to find the best flights back to Atlanta. Once everything is all aligned, she shoots a text out to Tom._

 _ **Chloe [11:59pm]:**_ _just switched my flights. pick me up around 3 at the airport? hope you're ready for me (;_

 _ **Tom [12:01am]:**_ _u bet! ur the best chlo!_

 _ **[New Year's Eve, on the airplane]**_

 _Chloe spent the majority of the plane ride back to Atlanta trying to convince herself she wasn't making a mistake. She's not sure when she became so against random hookups, but she's almost certain Beca has something to do with it._

 _After she and Beca had gotten into their first real fight following her first senior year, when she told Beca she had failed her Russian Literature course, she knew she never wanted to do anything to let her best friend down again. Beca had asked her why she would do something so stupid, knowing it was intentional since the redhead had always done well in these types of classes. And the only explanation Chloe could come up with was that she was scared. And in that moment, she saw the same look on Beca's face that was there after Regionals when the tiny brunette was being ambushed by Aubrey. The same look she gave Chloe when she sought out her face in the group for reassurance and got nothing in return: disappointment. It hurt Chloe to the core, because she knew deep down the only reason her friend was so upset with her was because Beca thought she was throwing her life away. Chloe wanted so badly to tell her that's exactly what she was trying to avoid. That she was doing everything in her power to hold on to all the things that mattered most to her._

 _Thankfully, when she intentionally failed the following year, Beca only shook her head and smiled, coming to terms with the fact that Chloe wasn't going anywhere anytime soon._

 _Chloe pours the rest of her wine into her cup filled with half melted ice, then reaches into her carry-on bag under the seat in front of her, pulling out a small 8"x7" light blue Kate Spade notebook with the words_ 'she is quick and curious and playful and strong' _written across the cover in gold print, given to her by Beca for her birthday two years ago. She flips it open to the inside cover, where her best friend scrawled a note for her that reads:_

"You've always pegged me as the diary-keeping type.

And you're also super hard to buy for because

you say you already have everything you need.

Which is annoying, by the way. Please stop doing that.

Anyway… I hope it's something you'll actually use.

Happy Birthday, Chloe."

 _Beca's signature (that Chloe hopes someday will be significantly more valuable than it is now) is scribbled through a haphazardly drawn heart. She brushes her fingers over the writing and smiles. Because this notebook is actually something that she uses pretty frequently, and Beca has no idea._

 _Something Chloe has never told anyone, not even Beca, is that she writes her own poems and songs. It's a side of Chloe no one's ever seen. Something she prefers to keep to herself, because everyone is entitled to their own secrets, aren't they? And what she writes is so deeply personal. So she chooses to keep it between her and her collection of books she's kept over the years._

 _She slides the page-keeper ribbon up and over, opening to the last page she wrote on. Clicking her pen, she writes today's date at the top of a new page, and begins to jot down the words that are floating through her mind._

I might hate myself tomorrow, but I'm on my way tonight,

At the bottom of a bottle, you're the poison in the wine,

And I know I can't change you, and I won't change,

I might hate myself tomorrow, but I'm on my way tonight,

Let's be lonely together,

A little less lonely together…

 _She bites the top of her pen, thinking of what else to add. The pilot makes his announcement over the loud speaker that they'll be making the decent into Atlanta shortly. She closes the book, puts it back into her bag, and locks her tray table back into place. Putting her headphones back in, she closes her eyes and waits to land._

 **[Present]**

Chloe drops the filled trash bag into the bin at the side of the house, then makes her way back inside. She starts to unload the dishwasher, placing everything on top of the counter to make it easier to maneuver through the kitchen. She picks up a mixing spoon and begins to sing into it along to the ending of _Truly Madly Deeply_ by _Savage Garden_. The house is empty, so she's taking full advantage of it.

Once the song ends and moves into a slower rhythm song, she goes back to what she was doing, allowing her mind to wander again…

 _ **[Flashback-New Year's Eve, car ride back from airport/late lunch]**_

 _Chloe's giggling like a school girl, laughing from the stupid joke Tom just told her. She remembers the days when they were together—like actually together, not just hooking up—and this moment reminds her of the same comfortability she had with him then. Almost like nothing has really changed between them._

 _"Hey… thank you," she says, her grin shrinking to an appreciative smile, her breathing slowing down from her laughing fit. Tom smiles back at her quickly before bringing his eyes back to the road._

 _"For what?" he asks._

 _"For, you know, asking me to come with you tonight. I don't know what made me say 'yes,' honestly, but I'm glad I did. I think we're gonna have an aca-awesome time." She clasps her hands together, her eyes sparkling from excitement… and probably the two margaritas she had at lunch. Tom just laughs._

 _"I can't believe you still talk in 'aca' terms…" he says, smiling._

 _"You better aca-believe it!" the redhead exclaims._

 _"You were always worse when you were drunk…"_

 _"Hey! I'm not drunk… just tipsy…" she corrects, holding her index finger in the air to drive her point across._

 _"Yeah, same thing," he says, and they both laugh before letting a heavy silence fall between them._

 _Tom reaches out and places his hand on Chloe's thigh causing her breath to hitch in her throat. A strange and uneasy sensation creeps up her spine, as he slowly rubs in small circles, inching a little higher each time. She places her hand on top of his, ceasing his movements, curling her fingers into his and placing their hands in a more secure location just above her knee._

 _"Listen, Tom…" she starts, her tone sounding more concerned than she was hoping for. She clears her throat and continues. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea about tonight…" She sits and waits for a response, staring at the side profile of the dark haired boy next to her. She opens her mouth to say something else, but he beats her to it._

 _"Yeah, I totally understand, Chlo," he says, closing his fingers tightly around hers, then pulling his hand back and placing it on the steering wheel. "It's just… things always feel so familiar with you."_

 _"I know," she half whispers. "I just wanted to clear the air. I know things ended between us on a weird note before, and I'm sorry for that. But, you were such a big part of my life, and I'd hate for it to stay that way. I'd love to just be friends… if that's cool with you?" She holds her breath, waiting for some kind of reaction, letting it go when a soft smile creases the corners of his eyes._

 _"Of course," he says. "It's been a dark world without you, Miss Beale." He squints his eyes, peering under the sun visor as he pulls the car to a stop. "Well… here we are. The infamous Bella Headquarters. Looks like you've got the place to yourself at the moment."_

 _"Yeah," she replies, looking up and down the front of the house, staring at the dark cursive 'B' against the contrast of the white siding._

 _Tom gets out of the car and helps Chloe with her luggage, then moves to her side and opens the door, offering a hand to let her out._

 _"Thank you, kind sir," she says, taking his hand and stepping out onto the curb._

 _"'Tis my pleasure, m'lady," he responds, leaning down to kiss the top of her hand, pulling a laugh from the redhead. "Alright. I'll let you do your thing, and I'll come back around 7:30ish. I was thinking it would be best to just grab a cab from here. Sound cool?" He says looking up from his watch._

 _"Sounds perfect," she says with a smile. "Thanks, Tom. I'll see you soon!" She waves him off then makes her way inside to a whirlwind of emotional toil she has no idea is awaiting her arrival._

 _Chloe rushes upstairs with her luggage after walking in on Jesse and Beca, having no idea they were even here. Dropping her suitcase by her closet door, she throws herself onto her bed, presses the heels of her palms into her eyes and lets out an exasperated groan. She feels dirty for having even witnessed that. Dirty and dejected all at the same time._

 _He was on top of her, his lips seeking fulfillment on hers. And Beca's hands were… she doesn't even want to know._

 _Chloe throws her hands down by her sides, frustration taking over._

 _"Stop it, Chloe. Stop being so stupid," she whispers to herself._

 _She hates when she does this to herself. It's been years she's been pining over her best friend, and she's never been able to make the first move because Beca's with Jesse. And Chloe respects that. But seeing the two together now is her own form of torture._

 _She's tried to move on, but she just can't get herself to do it. Sharing a room and being with the girl 24/7 isn't helping, she's sure. But she's not certain she wants to. Not yet anyway._

 _Chloe bites her bottom lip then folds her hands over her abdomen, listening to the sound of footsteps on the stairs. And she can't find it in herself to lift her gaze to meet the brunette that's walking towards her. So she just stares at the ceiling._

 **[Present]**

Chloe brushes off the image of Jesse and Beca on the couch together flashing across her memory and grabs the broom from the closet off the pantry. She starts in the kitchen and makes her way through the back entryway. After making several large piles, she heads back into the closet to get the dust pan. As she's sweeping up the first pile, the opening riffs of _Jessie's Girl_ by _Rick Springfield_ come on over the speaker. She dumps the dirt into the trash and starts to sing into the end of the broom stick.

" _And she's watching him with those eeeyyyess,_

 _and she's loving him with that body, I just know it."_

She leans her body and the broom to the side and continues to sing, starting to dance as she goes into the chorus.

" _And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night._

 _You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl!_

 _I wish that I had Jessie's girl!_

 _Where can I find a woman like that?!"_

Chloe punches her right hand into the air. She's about to make her way to the back entryway to sweep up the piles she made in there when she's startled by a voice from behind her.

"Well, Jesse doesn't have a girl anymore… so…"

Chloe throws herself around, her heart racing wildly in her chest. She clutches at it in an attempt to slow it down.

"Jesus Christ, Beca! You scared the living shit outta me!" she cries, trying to catch her breath. She walks over and shuts the music off then turns around and leans the broom against the edge of the island, her other hand still gripping tightly over her heart. "I didn't even hear you come in," she adds, now looking up at her friend who's standing in the darkened living room, just the outline of her tiny frame within view.

"Sorry," Beca says softly. She's moving towards Chloe now, reaching out to drop the car keys onto the island top. And it's now that Chloe gets a good look at the girl in front of her. And it's after this that she fully processes what Beca just said to her.

"Beca," she whispers, moving around the corner of the island, closer to the brunette. Beca looks tired. Her eyes are bloodshot and swollen with dark circles underneath them, her skin looks pale, ghostly even. And Chloe knows Beca is a low maintenance kind of girl, but it appears to her that she didn't even try to do her hair or makeup before leaving the house this morning. Chloe reaches out her hands, wrapping them around either of Beca's shoulders. And as she does this Beca crumbles, falling into Chloe, weeping into her chest. "Oh, Bec, come here," she says. She wraps her arms around the tiny girl, who feels so much smaller in this moment. "Come on, let's sit down."

Chloe eases Beca back into the living room and helps her down, lying her across the length of the couch and placing the girl's head into her lap. She gently caresses Beca's cheek, wiping away the tears as the spill over. She plays with her hair, moving it out of the girl's face, and just allows her to let it all out. They sit like this for a while until Beca's sobs simmer into soft whimpers.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Chloe asks, once the only sounds she hears from the brunette are tiny sniffles. She's not pushing the girl into anything, and knows if she doesn't receive a reply, that's all the answer she needs. But Beca just nods her head that she wants to. So Chloe waits while Beca readjusts herself, moving her hair that's now wet and sticking to the side of her face that was lying on Chloe's lap, wipes at the wet spot on the redheads leg apologizing, and lies back down the way she was before. Beca inhales deeply, and Chloe continues to wait, moving her hand back to the girl's hair, stroking gently.

"He broke up with me," Beca finally says, her voice shaky. She sniffles again. "He said things were different now. You were right, Chlo—"

"No, Beca. Don't say that…" Chloe interjects, feeling guilty for bringing the topic up before they left for break.

"I'm not blaming you," Beca says. "I'm just saying… you were right." Beca pauses, then reaches up to wipe at her eyes. "I just couldn't see it. Things just felt normal to me. Comfortable, I guess. But, you noticed it. And apparently so did Jesse…"

"Beca, I'm—I'm so sorry," Chloe whispers, her heart breaking for her best friend.

Beca pushes herself up from Chloe's lap, wiping the rest of the wetness from her face.

"It's okay, Chloe. It's not your fault. Nothing could ever be your fault…"

Chloe looks at Beca who's just distractedly staring off into the distance, looking bemused. And it hurts Chloe to see Beca like this. So broken. So vulnerable. She would do anything to make her pain go away.

"I think I need to lie down," Beca says, getting up from the couch and making her way to the stairs.

"Okay. I'll be up in a bit," Chloe says, but she stays where she is, watching Beca walk slowly up the steps to their room. She doesn't say she'll be up to check on her, because Beca needs to know that Chloe will give her the space she needs right now, even though she doesn't want to.

A single tear rolls down the redhead's cheek, because she feels the other girl's pain. Beca is so much a part of her, she can sense her emotions, everything she's feeling. Chloe's always been the one to bring light into darkness, but right now she can't do that, and she feels so hopeless. Her heart feels so torn.

Chloe gets up and tries to distract herself from what just happened, switching her laundry from the washer to the dryer, and throwing her darks in to be cleaned.

She wonders what this could all mean for her and Beca's relationship. While she's thinking of that, something inside her begins to stir, settling in her throat and making her stomach turn. She remembers last night and who she spent it with, and she wonders how that will go over with Beca.

 _ **[New Year's Eve-ClubZone Party]**_

 _Chloe's having the time of her life. The music is good, the drinks are great, and the company is even better. She knew tonight was going to be fun, but having Beca here made it all that much more amazing._

 _She tried desperately to stay close to Beca as much as possible throughout the night, but occasionally Tom would drag her off to a different part of the dance floor, or Jesse would tug Beca in some other direction._

 _It was nearing midnight when she realized it had been hours since she relieved her bladder, and she needed to go badly. She mouthed to Tom that she had to use the bathroom, so he walked with her to the other side of the ballroom stating he needed to go himself._

 _Chloe took her time, washing her hands and reapplying her eyeliner and lipstick. She saw the way Beca looked at her earlier in the night, a moment seared in her memory she promised herself she'd keep forever. She hopes to get that look from her friend as much as she possibly can, and if continuously keeping up with her makeup will do it, then so be it._

 _She makes her way out of the bathroom as the DJ makes an announcement over the loud speaker stating there's just a few minutes until the ball drops, and something about everyone having drinks in their hands. She sits outside the bathrooms waiting for Tom, wondering what could possibly be taking him so long. Her eyes wander the ballroom in search of him, and maybe for a smaller brunette, as well._

 _Her gaze stops over to her left when she spots Tom standing off to the side talking to a tall blonde man with a beautiful blonde woman next to him. She makes her way over, trying not to look as wasted as she probably is, and slips her arm into Tom's leaning into him for support, offering a smile to the couple standing in front of them._

" _Oh, hey Chloe. This is Mark and his wife Allison. Mark and I work together at NCR." Tom says. "Mark… Allison, this is my friend Chloe."_

" _It's nice to meet you both," Chloe says, extending her hand. Chloe has no idea what Tom actually does for a living. She just knows he was a business major at Barden and he works for some large corporation in Duluth. She turns to face Tom now, realizing the time is ticking away, getting closer to the countdown. "Wanna get another drink before the ball drops?" she asks. Tom smiles and nods._

 _They say their goodbye's and head towards the bar, the lines longer than she was hoping. It took a couple minutes, but they were able to place their orders and get their drinks just in time for the countdown to start._

" _Ten… nine… eight…"_

 _Chloe grabs Tom by the hand and drags him out to the dance floor, attempting to find Beca and Jesse in the process._

" _Three… two… one… Happy New Year!"_

 _Her eyes are wandering to no avail, until she feels an arm wrap around her waist, pulling her in close, another grabbing the back of her neck and drawing her into an unexpected kiss. And, as much as she wants to push Tom away, she can't. Because it feels so right in this moment and she knows the alcohol is to blame, but the feeling of being wanted takes over her body, shutting down all those parts of her brain that tell her what's right from wrong. Because right now, it may not be right, but it's definitely not wrong. Right now, it's okay. So Chloe let's go of all her inhibitions, and allows her hands to wander, pulling Tom closer to her body._

 _Eventually, after what seems like a lifetime, she pulls herself away, smiling at the man standing in front of her, his hands still cupping her face._

" _I don't want you to get the wrong idea," she says, reminding him of their conversation earlier in the car. Tom's eyes flick back and forth between both of hers, and he smiles._

" _I won't. But tonight… you're mine," he replies, planting his lips on hers again._

 **[Present]**

Chloe tosses the dirty paper towel she just used to wipe the counters down into the trash, cringing at the memory she's now being pulled from as the buzzer on the dryer goes off. She makes her way into the laundry area off the kitchen and opens the dryer, emptying her laundry into her hamper, taking it into the living room to be folded.

After finishing folding her laundry, she places it all neatly back into her hamper and decides to make her way upstairs to put it away. In her room, she notes the lights are off and the shades are drawn, just a small crack of dim light from the cloudy weather creeping through.

Chloe turns the small lamp at her desk on, trying not to wake her sleeping friend and starts putting her clothes away. She turns her head and realizes that Beca isn't in her own bed, but she's sound asleep on Chloe's. There in the middle of her bed on top of the comforter, clutching onto one of her sham pillows lies her best friend.

The redhead smiles and tip toes her way over, pulling the throw blanket at the end of the bed over the girl's small frame. She continues to put her laundry away, then takes a seat at her desk once she's finished.

She reaches into the bag she used as a carry on the day before, finding her little blue notebook. Turning her head to look at the girl sleeping soundly next to her, she clicks her pen and starts to write.

 _When you whisper 'I'm alright,'_

 _But I see through your white lies,_

 _But these walls don't talk,_

 _And if they could they'd say:_

' _Can't hide your secrets,_

 _You can't forget about this mess,'_

 _I'm waiting on the sidelines,_

 _From the sidelines,_

 _I see those tears in your eyes, and I feel so helpless inside,_

 _Oh, love, there's no need to hide,_

 _Just let me love you when your heart is tired,_

 _If your ghost pulls you apart, and it feels like you've lost who you are,_

 _My love, there's no need to hide,_

 _Just let me love you when your heart is tired._

Chloe clicks her pen and places it back into the jar on her desk. She looks at the clock beside her bed. It's almost 3pm and the mixture of the crappy weather and the fact that she didn't sleep well the night before starts to hit her as her eyes begin to droop. She looks back over at her best friend sleeping on her bed and decides to join her. She tucks herself in behind Beca, lifting the blanket over herself, and snakes her arm over the other girl's stomach. She smiles as she inhales the scent of Beca's perfume at the nape of her neck, and in an instant, she's dozing off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

 **[Beca's POV-January 3** **rd** **\- Girl's Night In – All girls are back from break]**

Beca walks into the kitchen to fill her glass with water, when she's cut off by Amy.

"Hey short stuff—what the hell? You've been drinking water this whole time?"

Beca looks at her friend, confused as hell.

"Uh, yes?" she replies. Amy grabs the glass from her, and smells it. "Dude, what are you doing?"

"I thought you were goin' hard and drinkin' straight vodka or somethin'," Amy says.

"Gross. No," Beca says, taking her cup back from her friend.

"Aw, come on, Beca," Amy whines, following the girl back into the living room where the rest of the Bellas are hanging out. "You've been such a grump-tastic beast since I got back."

"You just came back this morning, Amy," the brunette retorts, getting the attention of Chloe and Stacie who are sitting next to each other on the love seat sharing pictures and stories about what they did over break. Beca makes her way back to her spot on the floor in between the two girls.

"Yeah, but… it's G-N-I!" Amy shouts, lifting both arms in the air, receiving cheers from the rest of the group. Beca just rolls her eyes.

"Oh, come on, Ames. Jus' leave her alone," Stacie says, her speech already slurred, a solid indication that she's been drinking pretty heavily since 10:30 this morning and it's nearing 6pm now.

"Thank you, Stace," Beca says.

"She's just broke up with the Treble, so cut her some slack," Stacie adds.

Beca just closes her eyes and drops her head back onto the couch cushion behind her, regretting the conversation she had with Stacie when she came back yesterday. She listens to the shocked responses of the girls and can hear them moving towards her, echoes of "what happened?" and "oh my god" and "I'm so sorry" are pouring in around her. She feels a hand run through her hair, scratching at her scalp, and she opens her eyes to find Chloe peering down at her, her lips pursed to the side in a gentle smile that says she's sorry. Beca gives a timid smile back and takes a deep breath, sitting back up. She looks around the room at all the sad eyes glaring back at her.

"Yes," she says. "Jesse and I broke up over break. And I've been in a mood, I'll admit. But it's only been two days, so I'm entitled to it." She holds her hand up when everyone starts to talk all at once, closing her eyes. "And I'm not talking about this anymore, so can we please just drop it?" She opens her eyes and sees everyone looking around the room at each other and nodding in agreement to just let it go.

And just like that, everyone is moving away and back to what they were doing before.

"Well, ya know what I say?" Stacie pipes up from behind her. "The bes' way to get over someone, is to get under someone else." A couple of the other girl's begin to cheer.

"Oh my God, Stacie. No… that's a terrible idea," Beca says, shaking her head in disbelief.

"No, actually, that's a great idea," Amy says, standing from her spot on the floor in front of the TV where she and Lily were playing Call of Duty.

"No, Amy. It's not," Beca presses, emphasizing the 'T' sound at the end.

"No, yeah. Listen, whatta ya say we make this a G-N-O instead of a G-N-I?" She's holding her drink in the air as if she's making a toast, looking around the room. "I say we get ourselves all dolled up and go to the Havana Club and get Beca laid!"

The majority of the room cheers to Amy's proposition and Beca simply groans, then gets up from where she's sitting and makes her way upstairs to her bedroom, deciding she's all set dealing with people for the rest of the day. She sits at her desk and places her headphones on, attempting to drown herself in her music.

Not more than two minutes goes by before there's a knock on the door and red hair is making its way across the room to sit on the bed behind her. And then her headphones are being pulled gently away from her ears by two hands, the person the hands belong to begging for attention. So, she turns around in her chair and looks at the pleading eyes in front of her.

"Hey," Chloe says softly.

"Hi."

"Look, I don't think it's the worst idea, honestly…"

"Chloe, seriously? They're chanting 'Operation Get Beca Laid' downstairs right now…" Beca shakes her head at the fact that her friend could even remotely find this funny.

"No, you're right. I'm sorry. I don't agree with that part, per say…" the redhead says. "I meant the going out part. I think it'll be fun." Beca just rolls her eyes in response. "Come on, Becs. It's our last year and it's already halfway over. Let's make the most out of these moments."

"I don't know, Chlo."

The redhead moves so she's closer to Beca now, lifting out her hands for her to stand up with her. Beca complies.

"You don't have to do what Stacie says. Actually, if I can part you with any words of wisdom in this lifetime, it would be to _never_ do anything Stacie says. It will almost _always_ end with an STD or someone going to the emergency room," Chloe says with a smile, holding onto both of Beca's hands still. This gets a laugh from her friend which seems to make the redhead happy. "Look, you can stay with me the entire time. I'll make sure you're having fun, and if you're not, we just call a cab and come home…"

Beca looks into Chloe's eyes, and any doubt she's ever had simply melts away. And she wonders how the redhead is able to do that. How she can just make the whole world a better place by simply looking at her. She smiles back and nods her head.

"Okay," she says. "I'll go."

Chloe's smile widens and she jumps up and down with excitement. She leans in and kisses Beca on the cheek then turns and runs off to her closet to start getting ready for the night. And she prays the girl turned around fast enough that she couldn't have noticed the blush creeping onto her cheeks.

And Beca's certain her heart just grew two sizes in her chest.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, let me know what you think about this one. I need feedback for the next chapter. I plan to do a similar format switching between Chloe and Beca's POV. The next chapter will go into GNO and it's going to be really interesting. Seriously, you don't want to miss it. Stick with me here!**

 **Stay weird (:**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**

 **Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I recently started a new job and I've just been adjusting to the new schedule. And just... life, you know?  
**

 **I also had a really hard time writing this chapter. It was one I was really looking forward to because I was prepared to give you guys some pure Bechloe fluff, but my brain apparently forgot how to do that… I ended up re-writing this chapter entirely and took a very different direction.**

 **It picks up right where Ch 13 left off, and goes back and forth between Beca and Chloe's POV's again. Although this chapter took me way longer than I wanted it to, I'm really proud of it. It came out much better than I could have hoped for.**

 **We get a good look into how each of them perceives each other's actions and reactions to certain situations and it's extremely insightful… At least I think it is :-p**

 **Let me know your thoughts. Any reviews are helpful so I know you guys are getting as much out of this story as I am : )**

 **Music featured in this chapter:**

 **The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats**

 **Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol**

 **Tubthumping by Chumbawamba**

 **Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne**

 **Misfit by Lesley Roy**

 **Hands to Myself by Selena Gomez**

 **Love You In A Different Way by DJ Snake feat. Lauv**

 **Anyway, I can't look at this chapter any longer, so here you go. All mistakes are my own.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **[Beca's POV]**

"Beca, come onnnnnn!" Chloe whines, stepping out of her closet to throw an article of clothing across the room at her friend. "Just put this on."

Beca stops what she's doing to peel the thing Chloe just threw at her from the top of her head and takes her headphones off.

"And what is it, to be exact?" Beca asks, attempting to unfold the piece of skimpy cloth.

"It's a dress," Chloe says, moving back into her closet.

"A dress? No way. This is a shirt, Chlo…" Beca says, finally getting it open and noting the pattern of shimmery glitter across the front. "Yeah. No, I'm not wearing this," she concludes, tossing it back behind her in a ball, not caring where it lands. Chloe's already made the room into a mine field as it is.

"Well, you can't wear _that_ ," Chloe states, her voice muffled as she continues to shuffle through her closet. "They have a dress code, ya know."

Beca looks down at her outfit. She's reverted to her freshman/sophomore year with dark jeans, a black tank top, a red and black plaid shirt, her combat boots, and she's even replaced her old ear spike. She smiles because she's missed the ease and comfort to her old look.

"Fine. But not that… thing. Something else," Beca says, turning off her monitor and walking over to join Chloe at her closet. She leans against the doorway, watching as Chloe intently searches through the multitude of colors and different types of fabrics. Beca smiles again softly, marveling in the way the redheads eyes are lit by the mixture of the dim light overhead and her over-excitement in having permission to dress her best friend for the evening.

Beca remembers the first time she let Chloe do this. It was her sophomore year after she had first moved into the Bella house, taking Aubrey's old spot in Chloe's room. She vividly remembers the sad look on Chloe's face when the girl realized Beca didn't own _nearly_ enough stuff to fill the blonde's old closet with. And how that look turned into one of Chloe's brightest smiles when she told the redhead she would share if the other girl ran out of space in her own. It was only later that night when they went to get ready for a girl's night out that she noticed her closet was filled to the max, the right half taken over almost entirely by Chloe. And she remembers the way the redhead giggled with effervescent joy when Beca gave in to her _"pretty please with a cherry on top?"_ begging and pleading to pick out her outfit for the night (pouty lower lip included).

Not that it was hard to give in to Chloe.

It never has been.

Just then, Chloe huffs and throws her hands to her sides. She storms past Beca, stomping over the mounds of clothes now littering the floor, and makes her way to Beca's closet, where the rest of her stuff resides. Beca turns watching the girl's every move, her hands tucked into the front pockets of her jeans.

"Ah, ha!" Chloe exclaims. "This is what I was looking for!" She frees herself from the closet holding up a dress that looks more like a tight fitting black and white striped skirt with a white loose-fitting top attached. "You can wear this."

Beca just looks it up and down. She gives in, and shakes her head in agreement. If she didn't, they could be here all night. Although, she's sure that wouldn't be the worst thing to happen at this point. She takes the dress from Chloe, who said something about needing to wash her hair before disappearing from the room, and begins to undress.

Taking her time to slip into the dress, Beca looks herself over in the body-length mirror. It fits her well in all the right places and it's flattering, to say the least. She takes the spike from her ear and places it back into her jewelry box, then sits at Chloe's vanity, fixing her makeup.

Standing in front of the mirror again, she debates on whether or not to put her combat boots back on, but ultimately decides the argument with Chloe wouldn't be worth it. So, she opts for the black pumps in her closet, one of the only two pairs of heels she owns.

Taking her black leather jacket from the back of her computer chair, she drapes it over each arm, then rolls up the sleeves. Beca makes herself comfortable again at her desk while she waits for the rest of the girls to finish getting ready.

Some twenty minutes later, Chloe slides back into their room wrapped up in a towel, her hair done, down and blown out straight with the sides clipped up and out of her face. She's in the midst of slipping into her very form-fitting black cocktail dress when Beca takes notice of her presence and turns around.

Chloe has a nice body, there's never any denying that. But sometimes Beca catches herself staring a little longer than she should. Like right now, for instance. (But then again, Chloe's never hesitated to strip down in front of her, so who says she can't take a peak?)

She quickly averts her eyes as the redhead finishes dressing and listens as Chloe continues to rush around the room, never once looking up to see Beca watching her.

"Okay," Chloe says, nearly tripping while hopping in place to put her shoes on. "Jessica called for a few cabs, so they should be here shortly. I just need to get my makeup done." She sits at the vanity and begins to apply her foundation. "So, once we get there, I was thinking you and I could find some tables together where we can all set up camp for the night." She's moved on to applying her eye makeup. "And we'll get drinks and—Oh! I wanna buy you your first drink tonight, okay?" Beca just hums in response, watching as Chloe perfectly applies wings with her liquid eye liner. "There," she says, looking herself over in the mirror, smacking her lips together once she's applied her lipstick. "Okay, all set. Let's do this!" She stands enthusiastically, turning to face Beca, but she's distracted by Stacie calling up the stairs.

"Cabs are here! Get your cute butts down here, pronto!"

"Oh! Yay! Okay, let's go!" Chloe cheers, making her way towards the door, scooping up her cross-body purse on the way.

"Okay, um… is this—is this okay?" Beca asks, standing from her spot and starting to make her way towards the redhead. Chloe stops to turn around. And for the first time she actually _looks_ at her friend. Halting in her place, she scans the brunette up and down, blinking rapidly.

"Yeah," she whispers. "Yes… you look… you're perfect—I mean, it's perfect…" She clears her throat, "You… you look great, Bec." A barely noticeable blush creeps up the redheads cheeks and she smiles timidly, breaking her eye contact after a few seconds. She turns and looks towards the hallway when Stacie calls up to them again. "You ready?" she asks, holding out her hand for Beca to take. Beca sighs heavily, then smiles and grasps the redhead's hand, allowing herself to be led down the stairs and into the cab.

* * *

 **[Chloe's POV-Havana Nightclub]**

Chloe grabs the drinks from the bartender, one in each hand, and turns to slickly weave her body through a mess of people. Once she finds her way back to the table, she hands the whiskey sour to Beca and takes a sip from her own glass. It's nearing midnight, and she switched to water at least an hour ago once she realized Beca finally let go and decided to go all out tonight.

She giggles as she watches the brunette eagerly sip her drink, almost missing her mouth with the straw in the process. Chloe reaches out and uses her thumb to wipe away the spilled liquid, dragging her finger slowly from the corner of the girl's lips, down her chin. Snaring her own bottom lip as she watches the corner of Beca's twitch. Keeping her eyes glued to the gentle curve and swell of the pink-tinted flesh she's only dreamed of exploring with more than just her finger tips.

The redhead lifts her eyes after what feels like an eternity to see blown pupils staring her down, unable to read the face they belong to. Her mind flashes back to just a few hours prior when the two girls stood together in their room, Beca seemingly unsure of her outfit and seeking self-assurance from Chloe. All the while the redhead is impotently stuttering over the other girl's beauty.

She clenches her jaw in frustration, hoping her best friend never caught on. Chloe breaks her gaze and pulls her hand away, looking out to the dance floor searching for some kind of distraction to keep her body from acting on impulse before the rest of the alcohol leaves her system.

"So… you wanna dance?" she asks, hoping Beca heard her. When she doesn't receive a reply, she turns to face the girl, who she finds still studying her.

"We can dance if we want to," Beca says, matter-of-factly. "We can leave your friends behind. 'Cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, well they are no friends of mine."

"Seriously, Beca?" she laughs. " _The Safety Dance_?" Beca's expression remains unmoved. Chloe reaches out and grabs the girl's wrist. "Come on, Becs. I don't wanna dance alone…" She pulls out her best pout and hopes for the best.

"So let's sink another drink, cause it'll give me time to think…" Beca downs the last of her beverage. "If I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance…"

Chloe bursts into laughter.

"What is wrong with you?! No more whiskey," she says, taking the empty glass away from Beca and placing it on the other side of her. "I'm cutting you off."

"He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink…"

"No. No more drinks!" Chloe stands from her seat and tugs Beca up with her, pulling her close so she can talk into her ear. "I don't know what kind of game this is you're playing, but we're dancing." She doesn't even bother to wait for a response from the brunette before she spins on her heels and drags her to the dance floor.

Chloe crashes past the tangled bodies, keeping Beca close behind, until she meets up with Stacie, Jessica, and the rest of the Bellas in the middle of the dance floor.

"Babiesssss!" Stacie shouts, throwing her arms up and around the redhead and smaller brunette, almost knocking them both to the floor.

"Jesus, Stacie," Chloe yells, giggling as she catches her balance, and Beca's.

"Stacie's mom has got it goin' on," Beca says, turning to look over her shoulder at the crowd.

Stacie and Chloe share a look of confusion.

"Yeah she does," Stacie says before turning back around to dance with Flo and Ashley.

The redhead just shakes it off, grabbing Beca and pulling her close to her agin, bringing her back from wherever the hell she just lost her to.

"Beca, cut the shit," Chloe giggles. "You're scaring everybody." She's leaning in so Beca can hear her over the thumping of the music. "Myself included," she says, pulling away again to get a look at the girl's face.

The brunette just purses her lips, then throws back the clear liquid in her glass… or somebody's glass, because that's definitely not her glass, and Chloe has no idea where it came from.

"What is this?" Chloe asks, taking the now empty drink from Beca, putting her nose to it. She cringes as the scent of what she can only assume is rubbing alcohol burns her eyes. "Where did you get this?" Beca just shrugs her shoulders and begins to bounce off tempo to the music. "You're unbelievable right now…" the redhead says, rolling her eyes. And as much as Chloe despises playing mom on nights out, she knows how Beca gets when she's this drunk. This moment being the perfect example. But she also can't help but laugh, because her best friend is a great source of entertainment in this state.

There have been times when Beca gets super emotional drunk, and all she wants to do is hug everyone as she cries into their shoulders confessing her love for "all you awesome nerds." And there have been times when she gets angry drunk and tries to fight a tree because it "looked at her wrong." Or when she gets what Amy calls "Care Bear drunk" and basically turns into a mini version of the redhead herself, Chloe's favorite version of drunk Beca, because she'll spend the entire night emitting rainbows and unicorns, and trying to make everyone smile.

But tonight is different. Tonight's drunk Beca is distant. Misplaced even. Like she's totally lost in her own head. She's there physically, but mentally she's somewhere else.

And reciting song lyrics?

Chloe can't seem to make any sense of it. And now she's wondering exactly how much the smaller girl has had to drink behind her back. And she's questioning whether her GNO mom license needs to be revoked, because she seems to be failing at tonight's task.

Chloe places her arms around Beca's neck and hugs her close, moving with her to the beat of the song in an attempt to bring her back down to earth. A few paces go by before the brunette wraps her arms around Chloe's waist in return, resting her chin on the redhead's shoulder.

Chloe places her lips near Beca's ear, accidently brushing them over the outer edge as they sway back and forth. She pulls back a little and licks her lips. A rush of heat coursing through her body at this much needed contact she craves on a daily basis.

"Are you—do you want to go home?" she asks, thinking that maybe Beca truly wasn't mentally prepared for a night out just yet.

Chloe loosens her grip around Beca's neck when she doesn't receive a reply, half expecting to find the girl staring off into space. What she doesn't expect is to be met with the stormy blue—and strangely clear—eyes of her best friend glaring at her with a glint of something… But Beca is moving before Chloe can get a better read on her expression, and the redhead's positive her heart has stopped entirely, because she's certain the girl is looking directly at her lips.

And, in what feels like the longest split second of her life, Beca's cheek brushes Chloe's, and then she's pressing her lips into the redhead's ear, a hushed and cracked voice causing synapses to fire a wave of heat down her spine, and a notch forms in Chloe's throat.

"I'll go anywhere with you," Beca says, her voice low and raspy. And Chloe knows this has to be some line to a song, and she's unsure which one because it could be so many, but in this moment it doesn't even matter. Because Beca has this hold on her, and right now it's so strong she feels like she might break under the pressure. The brunette's touch on her arm is so faint, yet it's almost enough to send the redhead into a downward spiral she may never recover from.

Chloe closes her eyes and attempts to swallow, unaware of how dry her mouth is. Beca doesn't move, so they sit in this position—closer than close—as the redhead regains her faculties. She places her hands on the brunette's shoulders and pushes her back until she can no longer feel the girl's breath on her neck. Opening her eyes, she's met again by the stormy blues, trying hard to read them before they change.

But she's pulled away by Jessica who pushes herself between them.

"Chloeeeeeee, let's dance!" Jess yells, her hands in the air. Chloe smiles with an odd appreciation for the interruption.

"Actually, I think we're gonna get going" she says, pointing towards Beca. Jessica spins on her heels to look at the small girl, who appears to be somewhere else again. "I'm gonna take her home, she's… not feeling well…"

It's not the worst lie she's ever told.

Jessica pouts back at Chloe, but hugs her goodbye anyway, and tells her to text when they get back so she knows they're safe. Chloe agrees and makes the rounds, saying goodbye to the rest of the girls, before scooping up her and Beca's belongings at the tables and sauntering out the doors.

They stand in the cold for a few minutes before the cab pulls up. She helps Beca inside and scoots in next to her as she gives their address to the driver. She leans back into the seat as Beca drops her head onto the redheads shoulder, her hand on Chloe's knee, and they sit in comfortable silence the rest of the drive back.

Once back home, Chloe helps Beca stumble up the stairs to the bathroom. And like a reflex, she's holding her hair back the instant the girl lays eyes on the toilet. Chloe's always been fairly squeamish when it's anybody else, but an instinctive obligation to this tiny girl crumpled over the toilet bowl kicks in and all she can focus on is making sure she's alright.

After the retching stops, Chloe stands from the floor next to Beca and fills a tiny paper cup with some water.

"Here," she says, handing it to Beca. "Drink this." Beca peers at her with one eye open as she lies across her arm over the side of the toilet. "Come on," Chloe urges, as she picks up Beca's other hand and places the cup into it. The brunette groans, but brings the water to her lips and sips at it anyway. "All of it…" the redhead says, when Beca tries to hand the mostly full cup back to her, receiving another groan.

When she's certain the brunette drank the whole cup, she fills it again, then makes her way to their bedroom to get a change of clothes. She changes into a pair of sweats and an old cross-country tee from high school, then wanders over to Beca's bureau to get something for her to wear. She's placing the folded clothes at the end of the other girl's bed just as Beca traipses into the room, heels in her hand.

Chloe watches as the girl stops to look herself over in the mirror, dropping the shoes to the floor. Watches as Beca straightens her posture and visibly eyes herself up and down. As the silent tears begin to stream down the girl's face. Watches as the broken heart in front of her starts to break her very own. And then her ears perk up as she hears the girl begin to sing, hushed but clear:

" _See the misfit in the mirror, see the freak that lives inside_

 _See the misfit in the mirror cry, see the one nobody wanted…"_

Gentle sobs break the tiny brunettes composed posture as her shoulders shake away the pain and frustration of the past few days. And Chloe's heart continues to shatter for her best friend. Because all she wants to do is make her happy. And right now she can't do that. So she opts for the next best thing. Crossing the room, she envelops Beca into her arms and just holds her.

And Beca just sobs into Chloe's shoulder for a good 10 minutes. Until Chloe's legs begin to cramp and her back begins to ache. Until Beca's sobs eventually turn to sniffles.

"Beca," Chloe whispers, pulling back a little. "Are you okay?" she asks. And she knows the answer, the _real_ answer, but she asks anyway. Because she cares, and she so desperately wants to be there for her friend. She knows the girl is lying when she slowly nods her head up and down. The redhead presses a lingering kiss to the top of the brunette's forehead, then pulls away. "I got you some pj's. Come put them on and we'll get you to bed, okay?"

Chloe leads Beca to her bed and hands over her clothes. But, Beca just stares at her, her eyes swollen half shut from crying, and shakes her head "no." Chloe tries not to, but a smile creeps to her lips and she forces herself to bite the inside of her cheek, because she knows this Beca. This is the Beca who refuses to undress herself because she has some weird notion in her drunk brain that pajamas are "uncool." And Chloe plays like she's annoyed when her best friend gets this way, but in reality, she loves it. Not just because she gets to undress the girl, but because Beca gets a little overly hands-y when she's in this state.

And Chloe doesn't hate it.

She doesn't hate it at all.

The redhead lets out a fake annoyed sigh, then makes her way over to Beca, motioning for her to put her arms up so she can slip the dress off over her head. But Beca fights her on it. So, Chloe's forced to do all the work herself, attempting to slide the dress off while Beca's still sitting on it.

The brunette's hands move to Chloe's sides, just below her rib cage, and she shrieks with laughter, because she's so ticklish in that spot and the drunk girl damn well knows it.

"Beca, don't!" she yells, trying hard not to laugh, but the girl feeds off her reactions and keeps poking, Chloe trying so hard to fight her off by tucking her elbows close to her sides. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks from pure laughter and she's forced to pull herself away from the girl entirely before she passes out. "Can't you just keep your hands to yourself?!" she shouts, taking deep breaths as she tries to fill her lungs.

She's steeled by the smirk growing on her friends face.

"I mean I could, but why would I want to?" Beca replies. Chloe recognizes the song, and marvels at the timing. _Touché_ , she thinks to herself.

She takes a deep breath, swallowing hard, because the look on Beca's face is one she's never seen before. And in this moment all Chloe wants to do is kiss her. To just lunge forward and show her how truly wanted she really is using nothing but her lips. She has to close her eyes in an attempt to refocus her thoughts. And it's clear that the only things running through her mind are the lips of the girl in front of her. But, Chloe knows now isn't the time. It can't be. Not when she's so dead sober and Beca's so… not.

A smile begins to make its way to her lips as it occurs to her how crazy she must appear to the brunette right now, and she slowly opens her eyes. But she's met with the crumpled form of her friend, whose face is now buried in her hands, her shoulders gently bobbing up and down as she silently sobs. She moves to her side and begins to rub her back.

"Beca, what's going on?" she asks. "I want to help you, but I need you to talk to me… Please?" The girl lifts her face wiping her eyes in the process and turns to face Chloe. She nods in agreement, then lifts her hands up over her head. And the redhead can't help but smile as she stands from her place next to Beca and helps the girl to undress, knowing this is a step in the right direction.

Chloe tosses the dress behind her on the floor and helps Beca get her arms into her shirt, promising herself she wouldn't stare as the smaller girl removed her bra, averting her eyes long enough for the brunette to cover herself. She then guides Beca's legs into the tiny black shorts she picked out, helping her to stand so she can pull them the rest of the way up, slowly. She watches as the muscles in the girl's lower abs twitch just as her fingers pass over them, allowing her hands to linger at Beca's hips, squeezing gently at her waist.

The redhead glances up to see tear streaked cheeks, flushed and still wet, and darkened eyes staring back at her. A sense of desperation sets in, and she bites her lip hard, but Chloe flexes her ever _too_ strong muscles of will-power she's built up over the years, leaning in and simply pressing her forehead into Beca's. She sighs heavily, watching as the smaller girl closes her eyes and licks her lips. The brunette sniffles and a single tear escapes down her face.

Chloe eases Beca back down onto her bed and helps her under the blankets. She sits down at the edge of the bed next to her, brushing the girl's hair back behind her ears.

And she waits, listening to the sniffles and watching the occasional tear trickle its way down, wiping each before they go too far. She gives the girl her space and lets Beca come to her when she's ready.

"Why does everyone leave?" Beca finally chokes out behind her tears. And Chloe's heart breaks just a tad bit more.

"Beca…" Chloe starts, but she doesn't know how to finish…

"I loved you, and you left me…" the brunette mumbles. Chloe's brows knit together in confusion and she wonders if Beca knows where she is right now, who she's talking to. "It was all my fault," she continues. "I lied to you, Chlo. You were so mad and that hurt so much… you were so angry with me. And I fucked up. I fucked it all up…" Beca sniffles again and wipes at her eyes.

"Bec, I—what are you talking about?" Chloe asks, looking for answers.

"Fucked. It. Up…" Beca mutters under her breath. "And then there was the big truck and…" Beca pounds her fist into her open palm, making a crashing sound. "…and you were on all those machines… and the songs… I sang all those songs. But it didn't work. And then you were just gone…"

Chloe stares at her friend, unsure how to react. So many emotions and a multitude of questions running through her brain at this moment. And she's having such a hard time being the person Beca needs her to be right now. Where her best friend is doing so much more than opening up. She's laying her soul down bare, and Chloe has nothing to say. Has no way of understanding what the brunette is even talking about. Because Chloe never left. She's still very much alive and she's still here by her best friend's side.

Maybe Beca is just super drunk…

Or maybe this has something to do with the way the girl has been acting over the past couple of months.

And that's when it clicks…

"Does this have anything to do with that dream you had a while back?" Chloe asks. But Beca stays silent, as if she never even heard the question, which is all the answer Chloe needs.

" _You_ left me. _My dad_ left me. _Jesse_ left me. _Everyone_ leaves me." Beca says slowly, using her fingers to count.

"But, Beca, your dad is still around. I'm sure Jesse will come back around, too. Just give it time. And… hey," she pauses. "Look at me," she doesn't so much demand it, as she does suggest that the brunette give her her undivided attention. And Beca follows suit, lifting her sad, but brilliantly bright eyes to meet Chloe's. " _I_ never left you, Beca. And I promise you, I'm _never_ going anywhere, okay?" She stares deeply into the girl's eyes, attempting to read her thoughts. And Beca just closes her eyes again, shaking her head as if to say she doesn't believe her.

And it takes everything in the redhead's power not to break down and cry. She feels so helpless. How do you take away the pain when the wounds are still so fresh? She understands Beca needs more time to heal, but why couldn't this process be easier? Why can't Chloe wave her hypothetical wand and just make everything right with the world again?

Chloe sits quietly, suppressing her own tears, staring at her hands. Trying hard to be strong for her friend who needs her so much right now. And she waits for Beca to come back to her.

"Why am I so unlovable?" Beca speaks up, opening her eyes now to look up at the girl sitting next to her. And in that instant, Chloe cracks. Her heart can't take anymore. She crawls up into the bed next to Beca and wraps her up in her arms, resting her chin on the girl's head, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Beca, you are _so_ loved," she whispers. "You have no idea how loved you are…" Chloe tries to fight off the sobs she can feel rising in her chest. " _I_ love you, Beca. _So_ much…" she says softly. And she wonders if Beca will ever fully understand how much she truly means those three little words.

The brunette doesn't respond. She simply wraps her arms around Chloe's waist in return and nuzzles her head into the girl's chest. She doesn't cry, she doesn't even sniffle. And after a while, Chloe's convinced that she probably fell asleep, going by the gentle rise and fall of the girl's body pressed against her. And in this moment Chloe moves a little to look down at the brunette.

Beca Mitchell.

Her best friend.

The love of her life.

And her heart feels so full, yet so torn all at once.

This is a moment she would want to last forever. A moment she wants to replay every night for the rest of her life. A moment that only her tiny best friend can be a part of in order to be complete. And Chloe's starting to think that will never be a reality. She cries softly as she plays with Beca's hair.

And then she begins to lightly sing to a song she started writing a while back:

" _I will come running when you call my name,_

 _Even a broken heart can beat again,_

 _Forget about the one who caused you pain,_

 _I swear I'll love you in a different way…"_

Chloe sniffles as she fights off her own tears, continuing to comb her fingers through her best friend's hair. She rests her head on the backboard and closes her eyes. The emotional torment of the night finally taking its toll on her, and she drifts off to sleep.

* * *

 **[Beca's POV-Back at the Bellas house after the club]**

Beca dives for the toilet the second it comes into view, emptying the contents of her stomach inside. She feels Chloe kneel down beside her, pulling her hair out of the way. The cold tile of the bathroom floor burns into her bare knees. She lurches forward again, desperately wishing for this to end.

The brunette isn't a puker. Honestly, nobody likes puking, let's be serious. But, Beca hates it. And she hates herself right now for getting drunk enough that her body felt the need to do damage control in the first place.

She's never been a big drinker. A social drinker, sure, but Beca's always considered herself to be more like the group mom. She'll drink light—or not at all—so she can keep watch over her Bellas. Of course, she likes to have fun just as much as the next person, but she could easily go without it.

When her stomach couldn't possibly have anything left to give, the brunette drops her head onto her arm, lying along the rim of the toilet. She feels her friend move away, hears the sound of the faucet, and the soft voice of the redhead telling her to take some water. She pops open one eye and squints up at her friend, wanting to speak, but her throat feels raw and it burns when she swallows the bit of saliva building up in her mouth. Chloe reaches out and places the cup into her hand and urges her to drink. So she does as she's told.

The water feels cool on her now sore throat, but sensing it rush its way through her body and drop heavy into her stomach turns her off from drinking anymore. She attempts to hand it back to Chloe, but the girl won't take it.

"All of it," Chloe says, and Beca just groans, but again, she does as she's told.

She downs the rest of the water and hands the cup back to her friend, who fills it up again and gives it back. But then Chloe's leaving the bathroom, and the brunette drunkenly stares at it, debating whether or not to dump it down the toilet, because the redhead won't know.

Instead, she opts to take a sip and swish the water around in her mouth, spitting it back into the toilet before she flushes away the rest of her regrets from the night. She fumbles to pull herself up, closing the toilet lid to sit on top. Reaching over the sink to her left, she tries to grab her toothbrush from its spot in the holder, but she ends up just knocking the entire thing into the sink. Huffing in annoyance, she gets up from the toilet and moves to stand in front of the sink, leaning against it for support. She doesn't dare look at herself in the mirror.

She gets everything back where it belongs in order to brush her teeth while she leans heavy onto her right arm. She avoids brushing her tongue in fear of triggering her already sensitive gag reflex, opting to gargle some mouthwash instead, but some trickles down her throat causing her to cough violently and her eyes to water.

Beca regains her composure and peels off her heels, holding onto the sink as she almost falls over in the process. She makes her way down the dark hall towards her room at the end, using the wall for support as she goes.

Pushing the door open as she makes her way inside, Beca pauses, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Dropping her heels to the floor with a thud that causes her to jump, she straightens herself upright, smoothing her dress over her stomach, and stares at the brunette looking back at her. And she's disgusted by what she sees: a broken being, who just wants to be loved, who just wants to feel some semblance of normal again.

Tears begin to break their way through, something she finds hard to hold back these last few days. And a song comes to mind as she looks over the barely recognizable person in the mirror: _Misfit by Lesley Roy_. And she mutters the lyrics that seem to fit her so well in this moment, her voice low and raspy.

Beca's not sure how long the redhead has been watching her, and she's not sure when it happened, but she's now wrapped up in her friend's embrace. The brunette just lets go of all her heartbreak that's accumulated within her over the last three days. She feels comfortable enough with Chloe to let these walls down. So she holds onto her best friend harder than she ever has, never wanting to let her go in fear of losing her, too. Because there are many things wrong with Beca's life, but Chloe is not one of them. Chloe Beale is one of the only things Beca thinks she's ever done right.

After a while, the brunette calms her nerves and Chloe's asking if she's alright. And she lies when she shakes her head "yes," but the redhead doesn't call her on it. Then she's mentioning something about pajamas and ushering Beca to her bed.

Chloe hands the brunette some folded clothes, but all Beca can think about is the way the redhead is still holding her hand. The way the outline of the redheads fingers feel like they'll be burned into her skin forever. And her brain feels like it's shutting down again as she shakes her head in defiance.

Beca's not sure why she's refusing to dress herself, and she knows it's something she does too often when she's in this drunken state. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't like the way the redhead cares for her. And she may be drunk, but she sees the way her best friend pretends to be annoyed, and smiles when she thinks Beca isn't watching. So she fights Chloe off and starts to tickle her in an attempt to see that smile that makes the whole world a better place. And the redhead's cries for her to stop only egg her on more, her nimble fingers drunkenly weaving their way under Chloe's elbows, poking harder at the taught muscles underneath.

Chloe pulls herself away and Beca gets a good look at her best friend through her still cloudy eyes. Pure happiness written all over the redhead's face. It's truly a sight to be seen. And Beca's smile curves as her heart begins to pick up its pace in her chest, unsure of what she's feeling. Giddiness bubbling to the surface. She watches as the tear rimmed, crystal blue eyes meet hers and the girl attached to them attempts to catch her breath.

"Can't you just keep your hands to yourself?!" Chloe asks, breathless. Beca feels something inside her switch, her confidence begins to swell and she takes full advantage of this moment.

"I mean I could, but why would I want to?" she responds, a smirk growing on her lips. A fire burning in the pit of her stomach. A feeling she can't quite explain washes over her as her eyes drop to the redhead's lips, so proportionate to the perfect face they belong to. Beca wonders how one person could be so physically flawless. In this moment she feels oddly clear minded, yet so high with new endorphins burning through pathways in her brain that have been without the hormone for too long.

She watches as the redhead in front of her steels herself and closes her eyes, her face unreadable. And she wonders if she went too far. If she crossed some hypothetical line she wasn't sure existed in the redhead's life until right now.

Does Chloe actually have boundaries?

Beca's confidence begins to dissipate. Her heart sinks back down to where it was earlier, the fuzzy feeling returning in her head.

Leave it to Beca to fuck everything up.

She buries her face in her hands and silent sobs break their way free, yet again. And this time she thinks part of the reason why she's crying is because, well… she's drunk, but also because she's just so _sick and tired_ of crying.

Sure, that doesn't make any sense, but right now, nothing really seems to make sense.

The brunette feels the bed sink down next to her. A hand moves to her back, making slow circles, up and down.

"Beca, what's going on?" Chloe asks. "I want to help you, but I need you to talk to me… Please?"

She doesn't respond right away. She rubs her hands over her eyes and lifts her gaze to look at Chloe. She ponders a witty remark, but Beca just nods her head in agreement—giving in—and raises her hands above her head, closing her eyes and waiting.

The redhead moves to stand in front of her and helps lift her dress up and off. Beca notices the way Chloe protects her eyes from seeing something they both know she's already seen. And she appreciates the subtleties within their friendship that Chloe works so hard to preserve knowing the brunette is a bit more reserved then she.

Although, Beca could care less in all honesty.

What's been seen can't be unseen.

The redhead helps Beca to stand once she's slid her shorts over her ankles, helps to slide them up over her hips. She feels the muscles in her lower abdomen twitch as Chloe's thumbs graze over them, feels the redhead press those thumbs into her waist not a split second later.

The air between them feels stagnant. Nothing but calmness passing through as Beca's gaze instinctively drops to the redhead's lips again, watching as the perfect white teeth release the bottom lip from their grasp, the pink rushing back to the surface.

And then Chloe's moving, closer than she already is, and Beca's heart begins to slowly drop. Or did it just stop altogether? Because she's starting to sober up and she's almost certain Chloe's about to do something Beca thinks could change the entire dynamic of their relationship. The sobering part of Beca's brain wants to hitch-up and run for the hills, but the drunk part is rooting her feet to the ground with brick and mortar.

The instant Chloe's trajectory changes and their foreheads touch, Beca closes her eyes and licks her lips as she becomes fully aware of how dry they are. She listens as Chloe sighs heavily, as she holds her own breath. She feels the stinging in the corners of her eyes as a single tear slips its way out.

And this time she's truly unsure where this is coming from. Letting out the breath she was holding with a sigh of sweet relief. Or was it bitter? Her emotions are so erratic she can't decipher them herself.

The redhead eases Beca onto her bed and helps her under the blankets before sitting down beside her. She tucks a stray hair back behind the brunette's ear and Beca waits for her to speak, but she doesn't. And now the girl is stuck in her own head with all her own thoughts, and she knows how dangerous that can be.

"Why does everyone leave?" she pipes up, more tears streaming out now.

"Beca…" Chloe whispers. But she doesn't say more.

"I loved you, and you left me…" she mumbles. She knows where she's going with this. And she knows she'll be mad at herself tomorrow, but right now it's something that's weighing heavy on her chest and she thinks if she gets it out, maybe she'll feel better. So she tries—with the limitations her drunk brain provides—to explain to Chloe what's floating around inside of her head. "It was all my fault," she says. "I lied to you, Chlo. You were so mad and that hurt so much… you were so angry with me. And I fucked up. I fucked it all up…" Beca sniffles and wipes at the tears in her eyes.

"Bec, I—what are you talking about?" Chloe asks. And Beca knows she's probably confused, so she keeps talking to try and clear things up, but it's doesn't help. She can feel the redhead's eyes boring into her, looking for answers, but Beca doesn't have them.

Then Chloe's asking about the dream. The one Beca was so poorly trying to explain, but was also hoping the girl had forgotten about as time passed, because she knows she's now cracked a can of worms. And sober Beca is not ready to get her hands dirty.

Drunk Beca, on the other hand, doesn't know when to stop prying that damn can open.

" _You_ left me. _My dad_ left me. _Jesse_ left me. _Everyone_ leaves me." Beca says slowly as she counts each person on one finger. Coming to the realization that everyone she's ever truly cared about in this lifetime has let her down in some capacity.

"But, Beca, your dad is still around. I'm sure Jesse will come back around, too. Just give it time. And… hey," Chloe pauses. "Look at me," she insists, but her tone is soft and warm and Beca can't do anything but obey. She lifts her chin to look up at Chloe. " _I_ never left you, Beca. And I promise you, I'm _never_ going anywhere, okay?" And Beca's reminded in this moment that Chloe's never actually let her down. Her dream is not reality, and she'll do whatever it takes to makes sure it stays that way. She closes her eyes and shakes her head because she genuinely can't understand what she did to deserve a friend like Chloe.

Chloe is so good to her, and she wishes so badly to be the person the redhead needs her to be. Beca wishes she could be just a little bit stronger. A little bit happier. A little bit more in tune to Chloe and her wants and needs. Beca feels so selfish. Because she knows the redhead is having a difficult time adjusting to potentially losing the Bellas as an institution and moving on with her life come spring. And here she is, crying into the girl's shoulder wondering out loud why she's so unlovable.

Chloe's crawling into bed beside her now, wrapping Beca up into her arms. And she can feel the warmth and wetness of the girl's tears in her hair as she begins to suppress her own.

"Beca, you are _so_ loved," Chloe whispers. "You have no idea how loved you are…" And Beca can hear the words get caught in the redhead's throat. " _I_ love you, Beca. _So_ much…" she says softly. And Beca knows she means it, but she also knows it's the girl's duty as her best friend to say those things to make her feel better. Nevertheless, she's still grateful for Chloe being here for her when she needs her the most.

So she doesn't respond. She just curls her arms around Chloe's waist in return, then nuzzles her head into the girl's chest, smelling the faint scent of perfume near the nape of her neck. She doesn't cry. She doesn't even feel sad in this moment. She just lets herself be, dozing off to the deep cadence of the heart beating in the chest she lies on. Lulled into a half slumber from the little booze that's now making its way out of her system, and the gentle rhythm of the rise and fall of Chloe's body as she breathes deeply, in and out. Almost done in entirely as the girl begins to gently play with her hair.

But she's brought back to consciousness as she hears the soft and beautiful voice of her best friend singing a light melody she's never heard before

Beca marvels in the beauty of her friend's voice, even when it's hushed and timid. She wonders about the song choice and makes a mental note to ask Chloe where she heard it tomorrow.

But right now, she's content. The ache in her chest gone, replaced with peace. And she chooses in this moment to be happy. If not for anyone else, but Chloe. Because she owes her that much.

Chloe Beale.

Her best friend.

Always.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Finally made it to chapter 15! I've been writing this story for 2 years now… It's about damn time lol. Although, I did take a long hiatus around this time last year… which I'm so sorry for doing… I desperately want to finish this story because I have some really awesome ideas of where I'm going with it. That being said… the next few chapters will be filler chapters of some sort. Like I said, I know where this story is going, I just have to get it there! So stick with me, because I promise to give you plenty of Bechloe fluff while they try to get to where they need to be (where we all know they belong!)**

 **I tried so hard to get this chapter to you as soon as I could with everything I have going on medically. By the time I get home most days, I just can't function and I crash. And I've recently taken on a huge role as the legal guardian of a family friend's daughter who is only seven. So now I have a tiny human counting on me and that's a lot to process right now. So I am promising to update as soon as I can, but please consider that I have a lot going on in my life right now.**

 **Remember, this story is angst, but Bechloe is endgame!**

 ***All mistakes are my own here. I wrote the majority of this on muscle relaxers, so don't pick me apart :-p***

 **Love you awesome nerds for staying with me all this time 3  
**

 **Stay weird (:**

* * *

Chloe's eyes flutter open with the daylight breaking through the blinds. She rolls onto her back and attempts to straighten herself out in a stretch without waking the sleeping form that's blocking blood flow from reaching the fingers on her right arm. Attempting to regain some form of feeling back in her hand, she tightens it into a fist and releases a few times, then rolls back over, moving closer to the brunette's back. Chloe settles in behind her friend, taking a deep breath, and closes her eyes again.

She's almost certain the brunette slept like a rock in the same position the entire night, leaving her poor arm wedged between the girl's neck and the mattress. Beca may be small, but she sleeps heavy, and Chloe was too nervous to move in fear of waking her and having her get up from her spot in the redhead's bed to sleep in her own. She enjoys this closeness too much to sacrifice it for the sake of her own comfort. She's Chloe Beale. She was raised to be selfless, and if that means surrendering her dominant arm in order to maintain this intimacy between she and Beca, then so be it.

Just as Chloe's starting to doze off again, movement causes her eyes to open as the tiny girl in her arms begins to stir. Essentially holding her breath, she watches as Beca rolls herself over, turning onto her back, letting out a heavy sigh. Her eyes are still closed, but Chloe can tell by her breathing she's starting to come to.

So she waits.

She watches as Beca's tongue darts out to wet her lips, watches as the other girl lets out a rather large—but mostly silent—yawn, producing a small tear that trickles out and down the corner of her eye. Chloe reaches with her free hand out of pure instinct to wipe it away causing the brunette to open her eyes now, staring directly at the ceiling as though startled by the touch.

The redhead lets out the breath she had been holding, starting to feel light headed, as the smaller girl slightly turns her head to look at her.

"Hey," Beca whispers, a light crack in her voice.

Chloe smiles brightly, reveling in the way her best friend looks this early in the morning, and after a particularly rough night, might she add. Her makeup is non-existent, her eyes slightly puffy, but not enough to even tell she had been crying most of the night before. They're so bright. So blue. And they seem so clear in this moment.

Now, Chloe prides herself in being able to read people's thoughts and inner emotions by simply looking into their eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and Chloe wholeheartedly believes that. And, although Beca had been difficult to crack over the last few years, she's started to get really good at reading her.

She's sure she might be mistaken, but as Beca lies next to her, still deadening the nerves in her arm, she's almost positive she sees a hint of something hiding in those eyes. Something that wasn't there before. A twinkle of sorts. A light sparkle that the redhead knows, because she's seen it before somewhere else. And it makes her heart skip its next few paces.

"Good morning," she chokes out. She's thrown slightly off kilter when Beca lets out a huff of air in an attempt to laugh, closing her eyes again, but smiling nonetheless. She watches as the brunette reaches up and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"I don't know if I'd use the word 'good', Chlo. This hangover might be one for the books," Beca replies, and Chloe giggles lightly.

"Well," she starts, shifting slightly beneath the brunette, her arm becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. "You did drink enough to take the entire SBT frat house under the table." Beca groans loudly, rolling onto her back again, causing Chloe to noticeably flinch.

"Oh, shit," Beca says, turning to face the redhead, pushing herself up onto her elbow and finally releasing Chloe's arm from under her. Chloe pulls it back towards her, noting how heavy and numb it feels as the blood starts to rush back. "Did I sleep on that the whole night?" the brunette asks, reaching out to touch the very obvious indentations caused from her own body weight pressing into the girl's arm. She traces her fingers over them lightly, causing Chloe to bite down on her lip, the feeling heightened tenfold as pins and needles start to settle in. The redhead chooses not to answer the question though, letting it fall silent between them.

She wonders how much of the night before Beca actually remembers, having no idea how much the girl really drank. It was enough to make her sick, but her strange behavior makes Chloe think that maybe Beca was blackout level, or close to it anyway.

She's seen many sides of drunk Beca, but last night was a completely different ballgame. It's like she was in a different world, separated from the rest of them.

Once Chloe had gotten her home, she was unable to stop the water works. Confessions just spilling out like nothing Chloe's ever seen before. It's like someone—or something—took over her best friends body by way of a Trojan horse, setting fire to every wall (and maybe some moderately important command centers) taking no prisoners in its wake.

Chloe wonders how much longer she can sit like this, her gaze cast down, watching nimble fingers tracing gentle patterns over the disappearing markings on her forearm. Because the feeling is beginning to come back now, and it's starting to feel _nice_.

A warm sensation jumps to life in the pit of her stomach, one she only gets in moments like these with people like Beca. And she thinks she could stay like this forever. In this spot, close enough to Beca in a position where all she would need to do is lift her chin and she could easily connect their lips. She could live the rest of her life within this specific moment where _Beca_ is initiating physical contact with _her,_ and not the other way around.

Just as these thoughts flash across her mind, Beca halts her movements, as if she can hear the words running through Chloe's brain. This gives the redhead an uneasy feeling that begins to settle in her chest. Her eyes reflexively dart up to meet Beca's.

The heavy brick in her lungs dissipates just a little as she looks deep into the brunette's eyes. They're gentle with a dash of remorse, and Chloe senses the air shift between them.

"I um… I wanted to say I—I'm sorry…" Beca drops her gaze down to the mattress. She's stopped tracing the mostly gone outlines on Chloe's arm, but instead of taking her hand away altogether, she rests it on top, wrapping her fingers around it softly. "…sorry for whatever I may have said… or done—you know, last night…" She pauses for a moment, then lifts her eyes to look at Chloe through her lashes.

Chloe smiles. Beca's sincerity makes her feel warm inside, but she hates that her best friend feels the need to apologize for anything, never mind last night. Chloe feels like _she_ should be the one saying sorry. Sorry for allowing her to get so wasted when she knew she wasn't in a great place. Sorry for not being able to be stronger for her. Sorry for not being able to fix her broken heart.

"It's totes fine, Beca," she says, twisting her arm under the girl's light grasp and shifting just enough to take her hand into her own. She looks down as she does this. "I'm sorry, too. Just for… everything, I guess." Chloe shrugs her shoulders, then looks back up to Beca.

The other girl is looking down at their hands, her brows furrowed with concern.

"You know…" Beca starts, her eyes still watching their hands as she begins to slowly trace her fingers across the lines on Chloe's palm. "…you have no reason to be sorry," she continues, looking up to meet the baby blues that have been intently watching her every move. "You've been so good to me, Chlo. You've been… I don't know…" The brunette shakes her head side to side, a small smirk creeping to the corner of her lips. "…you've been pretty perfect, really." She lets out a light laugh and Chloe sees that sparkle again. It's quick this time, but it's there. Like a shooting star flitting across a great galaxy of blue. "Not like that's hard for you to do," Beca finishes, never breaking their eye contact.

Chloe's lost for words here. She's honestly starting to question if Beca might still be drunk, because who is this person lying next to her?

She _looks_ like Beca.

She _feels_ like Beca.

But, she sure as hell doesn't _sound_ like Beca.

Chloe's not complaining though. She's rather quite enjoying this side of her friend. She finds it charming. And just when she thought she couldn't find any more reasons to love this woman, Beca goes and says sickly sweet things in super cute ways to make the butterflies in her stomach go to war again.

"Say something?" Beca asks, a lilt at the end of her words giving away the awkwardness she must be feeling right now. She squints her eyes and bites down on her bottom lip. Chloe watches this happen in slow motion and any words she had mustered up at the tip of her tongue are gone now. Her brain is short circuiting, going completely blank. Which is interesting, because she's entirely aware of what's happening as it's happening, but she has no control over it. So, she does the only thing she knows how to do on instinct.

She laughs.

A full, happy laugh. One of those one's that are contagious, because now Beca's laughing, too. She looks confused as all hell, as she should, but she's still laughing.

So, Chloe laughs harder.

And now she can't stop, and the tears are welling up in her eyes, and her abdomen is cramping up, the muscles tight from pushing out too much air and not taking in nearly enough.

"Chloe, oh my God!" Beca says, still laughing, as she grabs hold of the woman's shoulders trying to steady her. "Why are you laughing?!" Beca says, almost pleading. "Breathe… seriously, Chlo, you need to breathe!" she says. And the look of sheer confusion and slight panic that's now taking over the brunette's face brings Chloe down from the weird high she was on. She takes some deep breaths and wipes at the tears. Little giggles escaping here and there as she realizes how silly she feels.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I don't know what that was all about…"

"Seriously dude. I thought you blew a fuse or something…" Beca says. "I was starting to wonder how good the psych ward is at the hospital here…"

Chloe laughs again, pushing Beca's shoulder back.

"That's not funny," Chloe says, trying not to break out into another a fit of giggles.

"Well neither was anything I said before, but apparently you thought so…"

Chloe purses her lips and bites the inside of her cheek, watching as Beca raises an eyebrow, looking for some sort of explanation. But the redhead doesn't have one.

How does she explain to her best friend what just happened when she herself is a little unsure? She's pretty positive it might have had something to do with the way the girl bit down on her lip. It could have been the sweet words she used to describe Chloe. Or the way the brunette simply looked at her in the moment before she lost all her faculties. Something about tiny galaxies and shooting stars comes to mind.

She's unsure how long she's been staring at Beca's lips, until she sees them part and start to move.

"Chloe…" the brunette whispers. The redhead only hums in response, her eyes never leaving Beca's mouth until the girl clears her throat. "Chlo," she says again.

She looks up to Beca's searching gaze as it moves from eye to eye, something Chloe only notices due to their close proximity. And it's in this moment she remembers how to speak again.

"Becs," she says softly. "I—I'm sorry," she starts again, putting her finger up to stop Beca from interrupting when the girl tries to protest. "No. Listen." Chloe clears her throat. "I'm sorry, okay? I feel like the worst friend in the world. I shouldn't have let you drink so much… last night was a bad idea. I thought I could help you forget about everything, but instead I made it all worse. And for that I'm so sorry…" she trails off, her voice a mere whisper at the end.

Chloe stares at Beca, who never once broke their gaze, waiting. She reads a multitude of mixed emotions flash across the girl's face, settling on sincere, her eyes going soft around the edges.

"Chloe, I—I don't know what to say…"

"You don't have to say anything, Beca. I just—all I wanted was to make you feel better. To make you feel happy."

Beca wraps her fingers around Chloe's hand now, hugging it into her chest. She smiles timidly back at her friend, blinking her eyes rapidly, as if fighting off tears.

"You do make me happy," she whispers. "You're the best thing—you're my best friend. Thank you. For everything. I really mean it."

And Chloe's heart sinks, because that twinkle is back. Except it's not just a flicker this time.

No.

It's a full-fledged glowing ember burning so bright Chloe thinks she might go blind.

And it hits the redhead like a ton of bricks as she remembers where she's seen it before. The last time someone looked at her like this.

 _Tom,_ she thinks.

It was when Tom had first told her he loved her. And she knew he had meant it, because she saw it in his eyes.

So sincere.

So genuine.

Just like the way Beca is looking at her now.

The eyes hold the secret to your own personal universe. They hold the key to every internal battle, every concept, belief, and urge to fight its way to the surface of your mind. The eyes can give away so much without truly giving it all away. The redhead knows this. She knows that there's so much truth that lies within a single gaze, but there's so much more left behind it being left unsaid.

Chloe also knows that Beca loves her. Of course she does. As the other girl had said, they're best friends. And she knows Beca loves her in this way, because the girl has straight out said it. She may have brushed it off with a derisive remark, but she still said it.

But all of this feels different somehow to the redhead. Like something has changed. Some shift has occurred on a molecular level.

She wonders if Beca feels it, too.

Because it seems deeper than herself. It reaches so much further than that. So much more than what she's used to. It's a shift outside her own being that she's certain she can no longer control herself.

Chloe stares deep into the brunette's eyes. Watching the glimmer swim back and forth between the two. Watching the smile that starts at the corner of Beca's lips grow until it's stretching ear to ear, until the redhead can't help but smile back. She watches as a sliver of brown locks drifts down and into Beca's face, blocking her view to those dancing bright orbs. She reaches out pinching the lock between her fingers and gently tucks it behind the girl's ear, slowly tracing its outline.

Chloe's finding herself in an endless sea of moments she wishes she could stay in forever as time stands still and they lie here looking into each other's eyes. She's had so many of those over the years, but this morning alone seems to be taking top tier on her cake. It's not until she hears Beca take a deep breath and let it out slowly through her nose that she's brought back down to earth, that she feels like she should say something.

"You know, I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights in person." And just like that, Beca's brows crease, darkening her eyes, her smile shrinks to a playful smirk. It's not exactly what she had wanted to say, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

"Oh?" Beca replies, quirking her brow. The redhead only hums in response. "That's… sort of a random thought, no?" The girl's tone suggests she's looking for an explanation, but her light laughter washes that all away.

To any outsider, this would probably sound totally random. But Chloe, as she lies across from Beca, watching the sunlight dance upon her face illuminating every speck of color in her eyes, knows how deliberate this thought truly is.

Unsure what's driving her, the redhead goes to lift her hand, its final destination unclear. It seems to be working its way towards Beca's lips, but not before three light knocks on their bedroom door startles them both. Chloe pulls her hand away and nestles it close to her erratically beating heart.

"Hey, Caps?" Cynthia Rose's muffled voice calls through the door. "You up?" She knocks three more times, and Chloe giggles lightly as Beca rolls her eyes.

"Just a minute!" Chloe calls back as she slowly lifts herself to the edge of the bed. A small hand wraps itself around her wrist, and she looks back to meet soft eyes.

"Don't go," Beca whispers. And Chloe knows she's only teasing, but the way the girl's lower lip juts out in the most heartbreaking pout she's ever seen makes her insides feel all twisty. She smiles softly back, reluctantly releasing her wrist from Beca's grasp as another round of knocking fills the room. She gets up and crosses the room to get the door.

The redhead cracks the door just enough to see Cynthia Rose looking back at her.

"What's up, C?" Chloe asks, her voice still low. She watches the girl wring her hands a few times before answering.

"Um, is Beca up?" Chloe looks over her shoulder to see Beca shaking her head violently and mouthing something along the lines of 'hell no' with some other expletives thrown in the mix. Chloe tries desperately not to laugh.

"Uh, no. She's still sleeping. Had a rough night…" Chloe whispers, looking back to Cynthia Rose now.

"Oh, okay. Well… Legacy's here. She said somethin' about a 'meeting of the minds' or somethin' like that," she replies, using air quotes and attempting her best Legacy accent. Chloe giggles. CR tries to stick her head around the door, but the redhead bobs in front of her, blocking her view.

"I'll get her up," Chloe says, as she's closing the door in the other's girl's face, not waiting for a response.

She turns around, surprised to find Beca already out of bed, tossing on a hoodie, and hopping into a pair of skinny jeans.

"Shit, shit, shit," the girl mutters under her breath. "I completely forgot—ugh, what time is it?!" she stops and looks up at Chloe, who then looks over at the alarm clock next to her own bed.

"It's almost 9am. Why, what's this all about?" Chloe asks, confused by this reaction from her friend, watching as Beca scrambles around the room to get ready.

"It's nothing," the brunette responds, almost brushing the redhead off, and Chloe feels a dull ache starting in her chest. Like she's back in high school and was just rejected to her top choice college.

"Is… is this like… another one of your secrets you're keeping from me…?" She regrets it the moment the words leave her mouth. But it makes Beca stop in her tracks and look at her, move towards her until she's holding Chloe's hands in her own.

"No. No, it's nothing like that, Chlo. I'm not hiding anything. I _promise_." Her eyes are pleading with the girl, as if to say she's sorry she even has to say these things in the first place. And Chloe believes her.

"Okay," the redhead whispers. "It's just… you know you can tell me anything. I want you to tell me things…"

The brunette drops her hands with a half-smile and backs away towards her closet.

"I know. And I do," she says, before disappearing into the closet. "Remember a while back during one of the GNI's we had, I told Legacy we should collab sometime?" Her voice sounds muffled from her spot in the closet, so Chloe walks closer, leaning on the edge of the door frame.

"Mhmm," she hums.

"Jesus," Beca says, looking up to see Chloe standing much closer to her than she was obviously aware, dropping one of the shoes she was holding in her hands and clutching the other to her chest. "You scared me. Why do you do that?" she asks, not really needing an answer, as she bends over to collect her other shoe and pushes past Chloe to sit at the edge of her bed. "Well, that's what this is all about," she continues, sticking her finger into the back of her shoe to slide her heel in. "I told her we could meet this morning while the rest of you run off to do the grocery shopping so we could have the house to ourselves."

"Beca," Chloe says, a sweet intonation to her voice. "This is so exciting!" she claps her hands together and does all but leap across the room to her friend, throwing herself at her, knocking her back onto the bed before she can pull her other shoe on.

"Ah!" the brunette yells out, as she falls backwards and lets her friend's arm hold her down against the mattress. Chloe settles in next to her and pulls her into a much too strong bear hug. "Ugh, Chlo. I can't do anything if you accidentally kill me first." Chloe giggles and loosens her grip, whispering a half-assed apology in the process. "Yeah, it's exciting, I guess," Beca confesses, staring up at the ceiling. "But, I don't exactly have the tools I need here, and I don't even know if I'll be able to make anything worth listening to—"

"Beca, stop." Chloe says, cutting her off, placing her hand over Beca's flailing ones. "Don't do this. Not now." She lifts herself up onto her elbow to get a better look at her friend. "You're Beca Mitchell. You _will_ figure this out. You always do." She smiles as the girl turns to look at her. And that shimmer is back. And Chloe feels so warm inside, like hot coals are erupting in the pit her of stomach. All she wants to do is dive into the deep pools of blue to cool herself off. Pools that are staring back at her with such adoration Chloe thinks she might be sick.

"Hey, Beca. CR said I could just come up," a voice comes from the hallway, getting closer as she opens the door and walks into the room, not bothering to knock. "I—oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, guys. I didn't think… I didn't know—"

"Legacy, chill," Beca says, laughing at the way the tall brunette standing in the doorway across from her is attempting to avert her eyes like she just walked in on her parents having sex. Beca and Chloe sit themselves back up at the edge of the bed. "You didn't do anything wrong," she assures her, as she leans over to get her other shoe on. "You're not interrupting anything."

 _Except, she kind of is,_ Chloe thinks. Because she was having, what she thought, was a moment. And maybe it was only one sided, but it was a moment. More frosting to that layer of cake, getting sweeter and sweeter with each passing glance between the two of them. And now to Chloe it feels incomplete. Like an entire side of that cake has yet to be touched.

So yeah, she is interrupting something.

The redhead throws herself back onto the bed as Beca stands and makes her way over to her computer, starting it up and calling Emily into the room with her. And then she suddenly realizes she's no longer an integral part of what's happening in here, so she gathers her stuff to shower, watching the two girl's sitting at Beca's computer, giggling back and forth, and bouncing ideas off each other.

And, although Chloe's a little jealous that Beca doesn't need her right now, she's never felt more proud.

She closes the door behind her, and makes her way down the hall. Realizing someone else is already in the bathroom getting ready for the day, she drops her clothes in a neat pile next to the door claiming the next turn in there, then makes her way downstairs.

Stacie's standing at the kitchen counter pouring herself a cup of coffee in her silky, light blue teddy that only she can make look like casual house wear. Chloe looks down at her own choice of sleep clothes, and rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless.

"Morning," Chloe coos, as she rounds the island and pulls her phone from her sweatpants pocket to plug it into the charger on the other side of the counter from Stacie.

"Good morning to you," the taller girl replies, stirring cream and sugar into her coffee. She drops the spoon into the sink as Chloe walks past her to make a cup of her own. "You look rather refreshed this morning," she starts, watching the redheads every move. And Chloe waits, because she's sure what's coming next will be some sort of crass remark from the Amazonian girl standing next to her, and she's certain she should brace herself. "Did you finally turn her?" Chloe spins on her heels.

"Did I _what_?" she spits out, mostly in shock. She wasn't braced for this one. And she despises the way Stacie gets off on making Chloe squirm. Because that's always been Chloe's forte, and it feels so strange being on the receiving end of it. She can feel her cheeks blushing every shade of red as if in a competition to offset the color of her hair.

"You know," Stacie says, taking a quick sip from her mug, waving her other hand around like she's trying to get something out. "Did you finally—"

"Nope. No. Just stop right there," Chloe says, her finger waving back and forth to get her point across. The tall brunette just laughs, probably priding herself in making the redhead so uncomfortable.

"You know, I'm really not that dumb, Chlo. You don't have to tell me how you feel, because I'm pretty sure I already know. But, one of these days, the two of you are going to realize you were meant to be together and all will be right with the world. So, can we just get on with that already?" Chloe rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm not the one you have to convince here, Stace…" she mutters, then bites her tongue. Hard. Stacie's eyes light up with a wild tenacity Chloe's never seen before.

"Holy shit," she excitedly whispers, almost spitting out her coffee. "Holy shit, so I was right?" She walks towards Chloe who's now sitting at the island sipping her own coffee, and places her mug down on the counter. The redhead cringes internally, because this is not the time, nor the place, that she wants to get into this with Stacie. She doesn't mind spilling her guts, just not here… and especially not now when the subject of said 'gut spilling' is in the same house separated only by very thin walls. The redhead just bites her lip and nods her head in a way that assures Stacie she is, in fact, right. "Holy shit!" Stacie says, a little bit louder now.

"How many more times can you say that?" Chloe pokes, a smirk forming on her lips.

"What? Say what?"

Both girls turn to see Amy walking into the kitchen now with a towel wrapped around her head. Chloe takes this as her cue to duck out, grabbing her coffee and heading towards the stairs.

"Nothing," she says, as she makes her way past Amy.

"This isn't over, Red!" Stacie calls up behind her, but she ignores it and makes her way into the shower.

Once Chloe's cleaned up and made herself presentable for the public eye, she makes her way back down to the kitchen that's now filled with all the Bellas, minus Beca and Emily.

"Here, add what you want to the list," Ashley says, handing Chloe the pad of paper and a pen as she drops her empty mug into the sink. She carefully reads through what's already on the list in front of her, then adds a few things she wants for herself.

"Oh, Chlo, can you run up and have Beca add her shit? She's the only one we need before we go…" Stacie says. Chloe bites her lip, then walks over to where her phone is still plugged in.

"I'll just text her. I don't wanna distract her or anything," she says, tapping out a quick text asking the girl what she needs from the store.

"Mhmmm," Stacie hums with a wink Chloe almost misses, as the girl bites into her apple. The redhead just rolls her eyes in return.

Her phone buzzes in her hand with an almost instantaneous response from Beca.

 **Beca [10:17am]:** you know what i like, chlo. surprise me ;)

Chloe can feel her cheeks start to tingle and warm at Beca's choice of emoji. Because Beca doesn't do emoji's. It's a simple text message, but it's eliciting such a strange reaction from the redhead. One that seems to be noticed by the tall brunette standing next to her who tries to peek over the top of her phone to find the culprit.

"What's the Hobbit saying…?" Stacie asks.

"Nothing, why?" Chloe retorts, too quickly to not look suspicious.

"Because your face is flushed beet red and you look like you might spontaneously combust into flames…"

Chloe pauses and looks around the room. Her nerves calm a bit when she realizes none of the other girls are paying them any mind in the corner of the kitchen.

"She just said… you know, the usual. Like what she usually gets…" Stacie takes another bite from her apple, quirking her brow in the redhead's direction.

"Which is…?" she asks.

Chloe ponders this question for a split second, then answers matter-of-fact-ly:

"Pancakes," she boasts proudly. "Stuff to make pancakes." Stacie hums again, probably wondering why Chloe's cheeks are still tinted bright pink. The girl spins on her heels, then drops her apple core into the trash.

"Alright then, let's do this, ladies!" Stacie says, opening her posture up to the rest of the room. She scoops her keys from the bowl by the door, then heads out to the cars in the driveway.

Chloe lingers behind a bit, tapping out a quick text.

 **Chloe [10:19am]:** i've gotcha, babe ;-*

The redhead smiles then tucks her phone into her back pocket and makes her way out the front door and into the front seat of Stacie's car. Flo is sitting in the back seat with her work uniform on muttering something about 'working since she was seven' and 'sticking it to the man' while she fumbles with her seatbelt. The rest of the girls are piled into the back of Jessica's car.

Stacie stops at the local diner on the way, dropping Flo off for her shift, then makes her way back to the road. It's another 10 minutes at least until they reach their destination, and Chloe knows the music playing through the speakers won't be enough to distract Stacie from their earlier conversation that's now looming eerily above their heads. Flo was a buffer, but she's no longer in the vehicle, and there simply aren't enough 90's one-hit-wonders to buy her more time. And as she's thinking this, Stacie's reaching out and turning the volume knob until the music is merely background noise.

Chloe's heart begins to pound in her ears.

"So…" Stacie starts.

"I know what you're gonna ask, and I'll just tell you straight up—" Chloe interrupts, because she can't take the torture anymore. "I like Beca. Like… _like_ her like her. And I have for a while…" she's talking with her hands so much right now. "No. More like… I don't know. Like forever? Yeah, basically since as long as I've known her. I guess I always had a thing for her… so yeah…" she stops to take a deep breath, then turns to face her friend. Chloe stares at Stacie's side profile, noting the girl's features are unmoving. She bites the inside of her cheek nervously, waiting for her to say something.

"I kind of already knew all that, Chloe," the girl says, her lips curving into a gentle smile. The brunette takes a quick glance at the redhead before returning her eyes to the road. "I mean, not so much about how long you've felt this way… but at least for the past year or so."

"Am I that obvious?" Chloe asks, her cheeks flushing. She covers her face with her hands and laughs nervously.

"No. No, you're not that obvious. I'm just really good at picking up on that kinda stuff."

It falls weirdly silent between them, the music too hushed in the background to even make out what song is playing. And for the first time in a long time, Chloe feels a little uncomfortable. So she tries to fix it. Beca can't be here physically to comfort her, but she can talk about her and it could be just the same.

"I knew from the second I laid eyes on her," Chloe says, looking out at the road ahead. She smiles, remembering the first time she saw Beca at the activities fair her first senior year. "She was different, but something about her just struck a chord with me." She pauses for a brief moment, looking down to her hand in her lap, playing with the ring on her thumb. "I remember when she got close enough I could really look into her eyes. The way the sunlight hit them… they were so blue, but also so dark and mysterious. And her attitude. Oh, my God, the attitude. It pulled me in because I knew she was gonna be one of those riddles I just needed to crack."

"I think you did a pretty good job figuring that one out," Stacie says, laughing lightly.

"I don't know. There's still some puzzles to her I can't seem to get though… Especially lately." Chloe hears Stacie hum in contented agreement next to her, and it falls silent again. This time, more comfortably.

"So… do you love her?" Stacie asks, after a pregnant pause as she pulls into the parking lot of the store.

Chloe sputters a few vowel sounds, taken aback a bit by this question.

"I—well I… I mean…. well—yeah. Yeah, of course I do, Stacie. That's—that's a silly question," the redhead laughs nervously again. Stacie pulls into the parking spot next to Jessica's car.

"No. I don't mean like friends. I mean, are you in love with her?" Stacie's turned the car off and is facing Chloe now, who continues to look out the windshield in front of her, biting her bottom lip until she's sure she tastes blood. "Chloe…" she says, demanding her attention. The redhead turns to look at her now. "I see the way you look at her. The way you react to her every move. The way you talk to her—about her when she's not around. You can sit here and look me dead in the face and tell me you don't, but I won't believe you."

"I… yes," Chloe breathes out. "Yeah. I do. I love her." She smiles and buries her face in her hands again. "My God, Stacie, I'm so in love with her."

"I know," Stacie replies. And they both laugh. "And I'm pretty sure she loves you, too." Chloe stops laughing and looks her friend dead in the eye.

"Y—you do?" Her brows are furrowed and her heart is racing ten times faster than she's ever felt it beat before.

"I do," the brunette replies, a subtle certainty to her tone that freezes the redhead in her place. A light knock steals Stacie's attention away, looking back to see Amy waving to get out of the car. She puts her finger up to indicate they need another minute and she turns back to face Chloe, who has yet to move. "I just don't think she knows it yet. So, you need to show her."

Chloe's having a flashback to her talk with Aubrey just a couple months back. And she knows what her best friend told her she needs to do, but even now that Beca's technically single, she still gets an uneasy feeling when she thinks about just kissing her out of the blue.

What if her feelings aren't reciprocated? What if Beca hates it? What if she hates _her_ for it afterwards?

Chloe's constantly fighting this internal battle on whether or not she should risk her friendship with her best friend for the off chance that maybe something good comes out of it. Or risk nothing and keep Beca around forever.

She's afraid of the unknown. She's a Super Senior times four, for Christ's sake. Of course she's scared to take this kind of risk. The bad outweighs the good on so many levels here. Because Chloe knows she can't—won't ever live without Beca in her life in some way.

So here she is, climbing out of Stacie's car and walking into the grocery store on a Sunday morning, right back to square one.

Should she… or shouldn't she?


End file.
